Buckalew11
2013 1/2 Marathon Finisher!!! Woohoo!!
- Joined
- Oct 15, 2004
- Messages
- 15,714
I am very sorry also.
My dad died 4 yrs. ago. My parents were married 50 yrs. and 1 week. For mom, it was finding the "new normal", as a PP said. It was a daily challenge to get out of bed and "just keep going." She has told me time and again that so much depends on your attitude, day by day, hour by hour, and minute by minute. You have to allow yourself to grieve and to cry. You have to also keep your chin up and keep moving on.
For your kids, just listening and talking and remembering. They'll all 4 grieve differently. I did counseling after my dad died and it was helpful for me. My sisters (2) didn't. I'd share a lot of my sessions with them though.
I like talking about my dad--I NEED to talk about my dad. I had time to say my goodbyes since Dad died of agressive prostate cancer so keep in mind that your kids didn't have that time and there may be a lot left unsaid.
When my cousin's dad died of a heart attack when she was 22, she didn't get that goodbye time. She did counseling and her counselor suggested that she either talk to his chair or A chair and let things out and actually say goodbye. She always told me that helped her a lot.
I had a client die this spring at 57 of a fatal heart attack. Sudden and no problems that they knew of. He has 2 dds about 23 and 25. They too, have handled the grieving process differently. One went for some counseling--he actually died in the car with her trying to get him to the ER,
and the younger dd wanted no part of counseling.
Death is just very hard, period. Your DH was sooo young. I often wonder why we can't all live to 80 or 90 and then die. You've got some hard days ahead and I will keep you in my prayers and thoughts. Holidays are tough...but the unexpected days are worse because you feel blindsided. Know that this will happen--to you and to the children. Know that it might be about a crazy little something, but it may hit really hard, out of the blue.
I think we prepare for specific dates and holidays but those odd days are so random and unexpected--very common.
And yes, I think you will be able to visit WDW again and enjoy and be happy. It will be very different, it will be very bittersweet but I'm sure he would hope for you all to enjoy WDW together and remember him while you are there. My mom, one of my sisters and I went to WDW 1 month after dad died for her b-day. It was good to get away and be there and while tough at times, it was good, part of the healing as we had gone to WDW together so very often.
The one thing that my DH said to me when his dad died (BTW, his dad died in January several years ago and he melted down in April on his b-day--took hime 4 months! But that was how he grieved/finally let himself grieve) that stuck with me was, "The worst thing is I think about him every single day and the best thing is I think about him every single day." Bittersweet for sure.
Many hugs and prayers and more hugs. I am very, very sorry for your loss.
(and I'm sorry this is so long)
My dad died 4 yrs. ago. My parents were married 50 yrs. and 1 week. For mom, it was finding the "new normal", as a PP said. It was a daily challenge to get out of bed and "just keep going." She has told me time and again that so much depends on your attitude, day by day, hour by hour, and minute by minute. You have to allow yourself to grieve and to cry. You have to also keep your chin up and keep moving on.
For your kids, just listening and talking and remembering. They'll all 4 grieve differently. I did counseling after my dad died and it was helpful for me. My sisters (2) didn't. I'd share a lot of my sessions with them though.
I like talking about my dad--I NEED to talk about my dad. I had time to say my goodbyes since Dad died of agressive prostate cancer so keep in mind that your kids didn't have that time and there may be a lot left unsaid.When my cousin's dad died of a heart attack when she was 22, she didn't get that goodbye time. She did counseling and her counselor suggested that she either talk to his chair or A chair and let things out and actually say goodbye. She always told me that helped her a lot.
I had a client die this spring at 57 of a fatal heart attack. Sudden and no problems that they knew of. He has 2 dds about 23 and 25. They too, have handled the grieving process differently. One went for some counseling--he actually died in the car with her trying to get him to the ER,
and the younger dd wanted no part of counseling.Death is just very hard, period. Your DH was sooo young. I often wonder why we can't all live to 80 or 90 and then die.
You've got some hard days ahead and I will keep you in my prayers and thoughts. Holidays are tough...but the unexpected days are worse because you feel blindsided. Know that this will happen--to you and to the children. Know that it might be about a crazy little something, but it may hit really hard, out of the blue.I think we prepare for specific dates and holidays but those odd days are so random and unexpected--very common.
And yes, I think you will be able to visit WDW again and enjoy and be happy. It will be very different, it will be very bittersweet but I'm sure he would hope for you all to enjoy WDW together and remember him while you are there. My mom, one of my sisters and I went to WDW 1 month after dad died for her b-day. It was good to get away and be there and while tough at times, it was good, part of the healing as we had gone to WDW together so very often.
The one thing that my DH said to me when his dad died (BTW, his dad died in January several years ago and he melted down in April on his b-day--took hime 4 months! But that was how he grieved/finally let himself grieve) that stuck with me was, "The worst thing is I think about him every single day and the best thing is I think about him every single day." Bittersweet for sure.
Many hugs and prayers and more hugs. I am very, very sorry for your loss.
(and I'm sorry this is so long)
