Why would they do this--sports team related?

[golfgal]

who is more upset about this, you or your daughter?

Actually the TEAM is upset. Had that JV player been able to play Varsity all season, her scores may have been better, who knows. Again, even if Friday was the only night she could have had the party, why not start it later so she could do both?

 

[BCDisneyFanatic]

I understand why the team might be a bit put out by the girl choosing to miss the tournament. However, wouldn't she also be missing her last two days of high school (or are classes no longer in session)? If that's the case, then I could see that as another reason for wanting to miss the tournament.

Since the girl isn't going to be available next year to play anyway, maybe instead of seeing this as a bad thing you could focus on the opportunity it will give one of the JV players to play a varsity game this year.

 

[islandmum]

Have to say I would be pissed too - its a team tournament, cant be rescheduled and if you committ to the team you play.

If one of my teamies had done that in my amateur days of team golf I would have had something to say for sure. She can reschedule her party surely

As a pro I now play for me and me alone, can schedule what I like for whenever I like, but even in pro circumstances you get players not fully committed to the team ethos .... Tiger Woods for one! But amateur teams is about being part of a group and working together.

If she misses it I would expect her to be dropped for the finals if they qualify.

 

[Carly_Roach]

For these situations, my litmus test is this: 10 years from now is anyone going to care?

 

[CJMickeyMouse]

For these situations, my litmus test is this: 10 years from now is anyone going to care?

Yep. The whole team and a lot of their families. Tournament time is a big deal in any sport. I agree 100% with the OP..... this girl (or her family) made a bad decision that affects a lot of people.

I disagree that there are reasons she "HAD" to have the party on this day. We had family that could not come on the days we scheduled our kids' open houses. So what? Life goes on.

IMO the "party" (can you tell parties are a sore spot with me? ) should have been scheduled when the guest of honor had no prior commitments.

 

[Rainwater]

How dare this high school girl care more about her own graduation than a golf tournament?!?!?!? What is the world coming too? A gold tournament is one of the most important thing in a high school seniors life? This girl needs to get her priorities in check. What a selfish brat!

I agree with you 100%. Not only is golf an individual sport, but its a team sport. A commitment was made, it should have been upheld. As to her being the number 6 ranked player, who cares, she still made a commitment to the team. If she doesn't play, I would strip her of her varsity letter, and kick her off of the team.

 

[islandmum]

For these situations, my litmus test is this: 10 years from now is anyone going to care?

Ummmm - yeh, when you're playing for a competetive team at this level in 10 years looking back its still going to be important if you get to and maybe win the finals.

If she lets them down then she fails the litmus test .... period.

 

[kbeverina]

My son has played travel/high school soccer for the past 10 years. Many of the kids here play for both a high school team and a travel team. Sometimes they have to make decisions. The kids accept it and move on, but the parents seem to have a harder time with it.

I've said for a long time that sports moms are the new pageant moms. There's so much over-involvement and finagling going on behind the scenes.

 

[PurplePinkleEater]

This senior is going to college on a soccer scholarship so it isn't like sports are a big part of their lives.

So why are you surprised by this?

 

[Normangirls]

I wouldn't expect any senior to plan their life around the off chance that they might have a really good season in a particular sport they participate in.

That's exactly what she should do. It's called living up to your commitments.

For these situations, my litmus test is this: 10 years from now is anyone going to care?

Yes - in ten years this girl may still be the one who blows off her actual responsibilities because she just wants to do whatever she wants (insert mental picture of a small child stomping their foot here).

She (or her family) CHOSE to commit to the team, and then CHOSE to schedule a party. A party. I'd be furious, and I would never, never let any of my DDs get away with that crap. One of the first thing my DDs learn in sports is that, if they're going to do it, they're going to do it right.

 

[java]

She doesn't want to spend the weekend golfing. Is it fair? no but clearly golf isn't her top priority. Stinks for the team. But really it's the coach's decision. You don't know every detail of their lives so perhaps they have their reasons and chose to not share them with you.

 

[Tink888]

That's exactly what she should do. It's called living up to your commitments.

She's a senior and she's done for the year. But let's say she does live up to her commitment and goes to sectionals and the team makes it to state. What if the girl was enlisted to go into the service right after graduation? Or begin summer college courses? Or a job? Should she also put those off so she can finish her commitment with the team?

If the OP is going to be mad at anyone, be mad at the coach who allowed a senior to participate in a spring sport, knowing full well the sport could run after graduation.

Most employers wouldn't give an employee who they know is leaving the company soon a big project. If anything they tend to reduce responsibilities the closer the exit date becomes for the very reason that right or wrong, when people know they're on their way out, they tend to mentally (or physically) check out.

For all anyone knows the JV girl might surprise everyone and do better than the girl leaving the team. And I'm sure she'd be happy to know what little faith her future team mates (and their parents) have in her.

 

[golfgal]

She's a senior and she's done for the year. But let's say she does live up to her commitment and goes to sectionals and the team makes it to state. What if the girl was enlisted to go into the service right after graduation? Or begin summer college courses? Or a job? Should she also put those off so she can finish her commitment with the team?

If the OP is going to be mad at anyone, be mad at the coach who allowed a senior to participate in a spring sport, knowing full well the sport could run after graduation.

Most employers wouldn't give an employee who they know is leaving the company soon a big project. If anything they tend to reduce responsibilities the closer the exit date becomes for the very reason that right or wrong, when people know they're on their way out, they tend to mentally (or physically) check out.

For all anyone knows the JV girl might surprise everyone and do better than the girl leaving the team. And I'm sure she'd be happy to know what little faith her future team mates (and their parents) have in her.

The girl knew full well that the season would not be done by graduation. SHE made the commitment to be a part of the team. The coach and the team JUST found out about this on Friday. What is the coach going to say?? I hope her college coach doesn't find out about this an pull her scholarship--which could easily happen.

While it is always possible that the JV girl will surprise someone, dropping 20 strokes off your game in a week is HIGHLY unlikely.

There are 2 other seniors on the team and they are playing as promised.

I am really shocked at the number of people that would let their child back out on a commitment like this???

 

[ZuZugal]

This golfer almost certainly knew the dates of regional/sectional/state playoffs the day she made the team (all good coaches put those dates front and center on the schedule so everyone knows) so I don't see any excuse why a party would be planned at the same time.

For those posters who say it doesn't matter; school is over; maybe she is ready to be done; she doesn't owe the team anything - that is all a bunch of BULL. She is a TEAM member. When she committed to taking a varsity spot she committed to play through the end of the season, not through "when she decided she was done".

The senior on my DD's golf team this year that we all knew would go to state had to miss part of her prom because of the state tourney (HS golf is in the fall here). When she arrived at the prom everyone greeted her and wanted to know how things went. And this is not a small school. 650 in her graduating class and she was in the homecoming court too.

Sounds to me like the the girl in the original post is a "me girl". What she is doing to the team stinks. Period.

 

[golfgal]

This golfer almost certainly knew the dates of regional/sectional/state playoffs the day she made the team (all good coaches put those dates front and center on the schedule so everyone knows) so I don't see any excuse why a party would be planned at the same time.

For those posters who say it doesn't matter; school is over; maybe she is ready to be done; she doesn't owe the team anything - that is all a bunch of BULL. She is a TEAM member. When she committed to taking a varsity spot she committed to play through the end of the season, not through "when she decided she was done".

The senior on my DD's golf team this year that we all knew would go to state had to miss part of her prom because of the state tourney (HS golf is in the fall here). When she arrived at the prom everyone greeted her and wanted to know how things went. And this is not a small school. 650 in her graduating class and she was in the homecoming court too.

Sounds to me like the the girl in the original post is a "me girl". What she is doing to the team stinks. Period.

We already know the dates for sections for NEXT YEAR. They have been on the school calendar since school began in September.

 

[WDWorBUST]

If the OP is going to be mad at anyone, be mad at the coach who allowed a senior to participate in a spring sport, knowing full well the sport could run after graduation.

I'm sorry....but this is a ridiculous statement. So no seniors should participate in their spring sport because they'll be graduates?? Look at the College Baseball World Series, The College Softball World Series....not sure about baseball because I'm not as interested in it but I think it's this weekend. The College Softball World Series starts this Thursday. The seniors on those teams have graduated and ready to move on with their life but you don't see them bailing! Playing on a team is a commitment. Will it matter to this particular player in 10 years - who knows but I doubt it since she is so willing to blow it off. But what about every other senior on their team. They may make it to state and do well without her. But as a team they shouldn't have to. I can tell you as a high school athlete I would have foregone having a graduation party period if it meant not being able to play in regionals or state.

 

[Pea-n-Me]

My son plays on two teams that require commitments and has for the past few years. He/we take it seriously and have never/would never miss a tournament - heck, we've hardly ever missed a game or practice for that matter - especially one as big as this and especially because of a party. I know not everyone feels the same way. To us, it's not just about the games but about what it means to be a team player, a lesson that will take them way past their school years. I cannot imagine letting the team down in such a way, seeing how hard the players and coaches work all season. Wondering what everyone has to say about it (other players, coaches, parents, girl herself, girl's parents)? I guess this teammate will be teaching the rest of her team members a lesson she probably never imagined, that will stick with them for a long time - what it feels like to be let down by a fellow teammate (and why that's not a good thing). I'm sure the lesson will serve them well down the road even though it feels crappy right now. (Hey, maybe they should be thanking her? )

 

[luvsJack]

I think the amount of commitment is going to depend on the kid and how much their parents believe they should force the issue.

Some kids are willing to give up anything and everything for their sport. Oldest Ds was that way about baseball. From the age of 9 through high school, the only game he ever missed was on the day of his grandfather's funeral.

Other kids just are not that committed. To them the sport they play is a game and not their life.

You can't change people to hold the same things important that you do. We used to have kids going on vacation right in the middle of All-Star tournaments! We were highly insulted! But, they still won state--twice.



Maybe the coach has more faith in the JV player than she is being given credit for? The focus of the team and its parents should be on building up the team and this JV player and making sure they know they can win without this senior.

 

[golfgal]

Another funny thing I just noticed. Our state gives out an award to select high school students for their excellence in Arts, Athletics and Academics called the Triple A Award--she was one of the recipients .

 

[Tink888]

The girl knew full well that the season would not be done by graduation. SHE made the commitment to be a part of the team. The coach and the team JUST found out about this on Friday. What is the coach going to say?? I hope her college coach doesn't find out about this an pull her scholarship--which could easily happen.

While it is always possible that the JV girl will surprise someone, dropping 20 strokes off your game in a week is HIGHLY unlikely.

There are 2 other seniors on the team and they are playing as promised.

I am really shocked at the number of people that would let their child back out on a commitment like this???

No one who has posted said they would let THEIR child back out of a commitment like that. They are saying that with her being a senior, they aren't surprised and that there could be a good reason for the date of the party being what it was.

I'm going to go out on a limb here and assume since the girl is going to college on a soccer scholarship and she participates in multiple sports, that the family IS a sports family. So, there could have been a very good reason why the party was scheduled when it was that you aren't aware of. Just as you are assuming that the party being scheduled when it was, was just a callous decision on the family's part.

When anyone makes a commitment to something, absolutely they should follow through but in life, circumstances arise and people have to make decisions about the order of their priorities. The girl & her family did and they're the only ones who know the reason for it.

People let people down, they let teams down for all sorts of reasons. Happens all the time. It stinks and it's aggravating. Most you can do is learn from it and make the best of it.