Why would a grown man wink?

[LuvOrlando]

So we went to a party last night with some of DH's former co-workers. I've met these people before and we all get along ok enough. Anyway one of the female co-workers is younger wife #2 via an affair and her DH is in his 60's, old money who is very successful in his own right but he's really quiet...sort of creepy to be honest. So at some point I became aware he is winking at me, as in any time our eyes would meet conversationally he'd wink. At first I thought it was for dramatic emphasis to a joke but then I realized he wasn't really speaking so I started to avoid his gaze. I told DH last night because it was sort of funny to have this elf of a guy winking at me and we both I didn't even realize people still winked, wasn't that a 70's thing or something, people used to wink at me when I was a kid but I haven't seen it since Frankly, it just brought him up a few notches on my weirdo-meter but maybe I'm being mean. Is it just a smile add-on from other generations?

I will say that one of DH's former co-workers, the wife's work BFF, in his 50's & a gay guy with a BIG personality, caught a few winks during the obligatory good bye hugs and had a very strained look on his face.... my face was already arranged into an impassive smile for my own sake but I don't know what this co-worker thought of it either. The whole thing was very, very strange Why would a grown man wink?

 

[indimom]

Maybe it's a tick?

 

[Art 1]

He is waiting to see how you react, probably want another affair and with you. Not that hard to figure out really.

 

[Mermaid02]

So we went to a party last night with some of DH's former co-workers. I've met these people before and we all get along ok enough. Anyway one of the female co-workers is younger wife #2 via an affair and her DH is in his 60's, old money who is very successful in his own right but he's really quiet...sort of creepy to be honest. So at some point I became aware he is winking at me, as in any time our eyes would meet conversationally he'd wink. At first I thought it was for dramatic emphasis to a joke but then I realized he wasn't really speaking so I started to avoid his gaze. I told DH last night because it was sort of funny to have this elf of a guy winking at me and we both I didn't even realize people still winked, wasn't that a 70's thing or something, people used to wink at me when I was a kid but I haven't seen it since Frankly, it just brought him up a few notches on my weirdo-meter but maybe I'm being mean. Is it just a smile add-on from other generations?

I will say that one of DH's former co-workers, the wife's work BFF, in his 50's & a gay guy with a BIG personality, caught a few winks during the obligatory good bye hugs and had a very strained look on his face.... my face was already arranged into an impassive smile for my own sake but I don't know what this co-worker thought of it either. The whole thing was very, very strange Why would a grown man wink?

Maybe he thought you were checking him out.

 

[LuvOrlando]

Wasn't winking used as a hi or something back in the 60's & 70's? It kept reminding me of Herb Tarlek from WKRP. Could it just be a generational disconnect? Anything else is really just too gross

 

[Magic Mom]

Maybe it's just a dumb habit he has developed and doesn't realize he is doing it. I wouldn't worry too much that he is hitting on you since you weren't the only recipient.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Dh asked if he was drunk or an alcoholic? Might explain the gay guy winking?

 

[LuvOrlando]

He wasn't drunk & neither was I, although that would have made it more funny and less weird.

I didn't see "The Mad Winker" doing it to anyone else. The guy who caught the exchange saw me getting winks... but maybe he could have been doing it to others. I tried to not look to be honest I'm not worried, more perplexed.

 

[Victoria3]

He is waiting to see how you react, probably want another affair and with you. Not that hard to figure out really.

This.

 

[LuvCuteBoys]

Maybe it's just a dumb habit he has developed and doesn't realize he is doing it. I wouldn't worry too much that he is hitting on you since you weren't the only recipient.

This.

People wink. I don't think it's that odd

 

[OceanAnnie]

Well, it does seem odd to me. You were the only one right? But maybe he's eccentric.

I think you did the right thing by avoiding eye contact.

One wink I'd maybe think, "Okay he's being friendly.". Repeated winks, I'd either do what you did or ask him if something was in his eye.

 

[EllenFrasier]

If he was doing it on purpose, it was probably a friendly wink because he caught you looking at him. I am in the "nervous habit" opinion and think it's probably that.

 

[LuvOrlando]

I know my curiosity is silly but I generally like to figure out what to think about a person before filing them away, especially DH's business associates because it helps me deal with them in the future.

Some of you say it's common, where are you from? Maybe it's a regional thing like Y'all?

Couldn't be an affair, the logistics don't work. I did have an ex-boyfriend who would disappear with random skanks to available bathrooms, but I do not think I put out that vibe at all. I hope not because he ever moved beyond a wink I see a good right hook in his future I guess it could be a feeble attempt at some kind of flirting.

I think I prefer the nervous thing but if it is it's new. This is possibly the 4th time I met this guy and i don't remember it happening before. I do seem to remember the first time we met his wife getting all flustered during goodbye hugs. Everyone was doing so I just followed the group, it would have been odd if I didn't. But I do remember her having a strange response to me hugging him even though it was a big hug fest. Could be the guy is just a dog in his day to day life and the poor wife didn't want it to show. If so I feel bad for her.


Anyone know any winkers?

 

[DebbieB]

I would take it as a form of flirting.

 

[dejr_8]

He was hit in the eye with some juice from a grapefruit and was winking without knowing he was.

 

[LuvOrlando]

Pulp can move baby!

 

[marcemc]

I would take it as a form of flirting.

I call it "passive aggressive" flirting

This type of men won't say a word but will wink at every chance of eye contact, I guess they think this really works

 

[cheshireqt]

One wink is a hello, and sort of charming. Two winks, hmm. Three winks, you must have looked smoking hot!

 

[goofyernmost]

Maybe it was because you were so darn cute. OR it could have been a variety of things both intentional and unintentional. People have nervous ticks, differing forms of Parkinson, old habits that they are not aware they are doing or amongst other things...he might have been trying to be overly friendly toward you specifically. I just don't think that I would immediately leap to that one unless he specifically "came on to you". I could be or mean nothing.

I lived through the 50's, 60's and 70's (as well as the 80's, 90's, 00's) and do not recall anything specific about winking other than it usually displayed an overly confident individual that was covering up cleverness by doing something that made him/her seem cool. But even that...not very much.

 

[kaytieeldr]

Couldn't be an affair, the logistics don't work. I did have an ex-boyfriend who would disappear with random skanks to available bathrooms, but I do not think I put out that vibe at all. I hope not because he ever moved beyond a wink I see a good right hook in his future I guess it could be a feeble attempt at some kind of flirting.

Really? Are you not able to speak? A simple, loud, clear, "I can't believe you said that!" or "Take your hands off me!" is much more effective than physical violence.