Why, oh why, can't they keep a secret?

[Papa Deuce]

My wife's family could not keep a secret if you put a MILLION dollars in front of them for keeping a secret for 10 minutes, I swear! I can NOT tell you how frustrating it is.

We are headed to Charlotte in May, one week before our 7th anniversary, We are staying at my SIL's house. And I love her alot, but just like ALL of her family, she can't keep a secret. AT ALL. She is going to watch our kids for 2 nights while I take my wife on a romantic getaway in Asheville. I specifically told her that it was a surprise and please don't tell anybody. She agreed.

So tonight my wife brings up the trip while we are out to dinner... the Asheville trip, not the Charlotte part. I was so upset. SO then I asked her where she heard about it. She said her father told her, but tried to cover his tracks after saying too much. So, obviously HE KNEW it was supposed to be a secret.

Then her brother and his wife show up for dinner... First thing out of his mouth? "So, make sure you see the Biltmore Estate when you are in Asheville".... WTH?

IF this was the only time this happened I would be OK with it. But it isn't. It gets worse. At dinner, my BIL tells us all that his son is getting married. Gives all the details. So, when we get home we get a phone call from the guy getting married. He is all excited and we play along, even though we know ALL the details. He then goes on to tell us that they have been engaged for like 3 days but didn't tell anybody but his parents so far becasue they wanted to keep it "secret" for a while. HE only told us because my wife is his Godmother, and they are close.

How is it that an ENTIRE family can not keep a secret?

If I thought about it, I could come up with at least a dozen examples. My MIL -- now passed --- even gave away our secret about my wife being pregnant when my wife asked her not to tell anybody until she felt that the future kids were healthy. She had a miscarriage earlier, with me, and she didn't want to jinx it.

Aggggh!!!!!!

 

[mamacatnv]

Papa Deuce: It is you that must learn to keep the secrets cause it sounds like no one else in your family will

MamaCatNV

 

[Papa Deuce]

Papa Deuce: It is you that must learn to keep the secrets cause it sounds like no one else in your family will

MamaCatNV

Hey, if "I" know it is a secret, you will NEVER have me tell it. I had to tell my SIL, or how else could I know whether she would watch our kids? I wouldn't even tell my wife. She is just as bad as the rest of them.

 

[mamacatnv]

Hey, if "I" know it is a secret, you will NEVER have me tell it. I had to tell my SIL, or how else could I know whether she would watch our kids? I wouldn't even tell my wife. She is just as bad as the rest of them.

Sorry, I'm trying to get a grip but it's funny to me
Don't have much advice except maybe some well placed duct tape......

Okay I am better now, maybe the guys in the family with the exception of the one who blabbed the wedding would be better suited for secrets. Oh never mind, I just re-read your post, doesn't look like that will work either.

Be thankful for a large loving family that obviously shares everything. Next time hire a babysitter or get a family friend who does not have loose lips to watch the kids.

Still chuckling, I can't help it , I am picturing the family scenes in "My Big Fat Greek Wedding"

Sorry.......MamaCatNV

 

[inaminute]

Simplest thing in the world--don't tell anyone if you want something kept a secret.

Of course you have to find out if SIL can watch the kids. Does she really need the details of the trip in order to say yes or no? Next time just tell her you're planning a surprise for your wife, you'll provide the details later. Can she babysit?

 

[MsLeFever]

Is is a power thing? Telling someone's secret certainly gives you power.

Is it an excitement thing? Like a kid that is just to happy to keep his mouth shut?

Is it a "guess what I know"? Where they like to know something that you don't and telling you is the only way to prove it?

There are proably different solutions depending on why they are such blabbermouths!

 

[tmt martins]

Just start telling them OFF THE WALL things and soon no one will pay attention to anything they say.

 

[momof2inPA]

I can't keep a secret, either, so I tell people just not to tell me any.

 

[MsDisney23]

My Aunt always told me this: The only time a secret is safe between two people, is when the other one is dead! So don't tell!

 

[pirateofthecarolinas]

Telephone, telegraph, tell my MIL! We just don't tell her anything that we don't want all of the surrounding counties to know.

 

[DVC Sadie]

Papa Duece, Thanks for the chuckle this am. I do feel for you but you have to admit it is a little funny. Happy Anniversary! Have a great time in Asheville it is one of our favorite places to vacsation.

 

[Jennasis]

My mother is the exact same way. We call her the toiwn crier, because she LOVES...or rather LIVES to spread news about the family (good, or bad, it doesn't matter). If you tell her anything you can rest assured that my aunts and uncles will all know about it within days through her. It is totally a power thing. They want to be the ones to hear/see the reaction of others when the news is revealed. It gives them a kind of satisfaction. The only solution is to not tell them any secrets.

Happiest day of my mom's life came two weeks ago when my oldest sister told my mother that she was leaving her husband (after 5 years of marriage and a year and a half of agonizing over the prospect of divorce). When my mom heard the news she asked if there was anything she could do for my sister, to which my physically and emotionally wrought (and very wise) sister replied "YES...I'm too tired to inform the rest of the family...could you call everyone and tell them?"

My mother almost fainted with joy. She now calls me with nearly daily updates abouts my sister's separation/divorce (even though I speak to my sister almost everyday as well).

 

[diznygirl]

My mom is the same way - I've used it to my advantage by telling her something and knowing that soon everyone will know. Saves so much time and effort on my part!

For the secrets, she will tell the person who is not supposed to know and then tell THEM not to say anything!

 

[Stacerita]

Don't have much advice except maybe some well placed duct tape......

Yep, sounds like this is the only thing that might work.

 

[Tigger&Belle]

Sounds like not keeping a secret is nothing new for them. I would have told them that you were bringing your wife on a surprise weekend, without giving them any details (and only because they were watching the kids, so they needed to know a little info). You know they are lions, but you are expecting them not to roar, pace, and eat meat and instead think they are going to act like mice. Not going to happen!

 

[laurajetter]

Hey, if "I" know it is a secret, you will NEVER have me tell it. I had to tell my SIL, or how else could I know whether she would watch our kids? I wouldn't even tell my wife. She is just as bad as the rest of them.

Hmm, I was going to say just don't tell anyone anything you want to keep secret, but I just read your response and see your dilemma. BUT, I just thought of something else... If there is a secret that you must reveal to someone in her family, don't give the exact details away; fib about the reason you needed the babysitting, for example. Just pick some other plausible but totally different destination/activity, and then when their lips start flapping, you can sit back and silently gloat, knowing your secret is still a secret!

Laura