Why Is There So Much Drama in H.S.?

[Wish Upon A Star]

This has been a tough year for DD. The beginning of the year a boy in her class threatened to shoot her and others. The boy was suspended and arrested, etc.

Now, she is being harassed by a Junior who apparently likes the boy that DD has been going out with since October. And yesterday the girl's sister who is a freshman like my DD went up to my DD and told her that her sister was gonna "kick her butt" although the word "butt" was not used it was the other word.

I cannot understand why these H.S. girls have to be so dramatic.

It's very sad.

 

[browneyes]

Kids are in a hurry to grow up. Some just don't realize how to.

 

[tmli]

It does seem to be worse then when we were kids. I did want to say though how great it is that you know about this drama.....I could never talk to my parents and would keep it all in side.

The important thing is to not let this stuff shape who she will become. It sounds like you are on the right track though, I hope things work out for your DD.

 

[Breezy_Carol]

Good luck.

My DD is a senior and if you think the drama is high now, wait until prom. I am not sure I will make it through this week.

 

[Robinrs]

What saddens me is that the small minority of bad ones always seem to get more attention to the good ones, the ones who respect authority and do what it takes to survive high school. I was one of those kids, they are constantly ignored.

I lived the drama your DD is going through but ten times worse more than 30 years ago. It did shape who I am. You're lucky she talks to you about it, I never let my Mom know, it would've killed her. I survived, and with your love and guidance, your child will, also.

God bless,

Robinrs

 

[Cindy B]

The drama starts in middle school. It is the same type of problems(without the arresting part!).

I hope the best for your daughter. I really didn't like high school drama either, but it does shape you.

 

[Wish Upon A Star]

Thank you . . .

I'm glad that she tells me these things . . .but it does hurt. I know that when I was in h.s. I never had the kind of drama that DD is going through. I always kept a low profile and never had any problems . . .

I emailed her administrator this morning to make him aware of what is going on . . .but because of the other incident with the male student back in October I'm feeling like an overprotective, tattle tale mother . . .

I told DD this morning if the girl comes up to her or if her sister comes up to her again just to ignore her and walk away. I told DD it is just a bunch of drama and it'll pass. But in the meantime I'm concerned that this girl will try to physically hurt her.

 

[Doug123]

Overprotective? No. The boy that last threatened her was ARRESTED, right? If it was my daughter, the same would happen to this girl if she made threats to cause her physical harm.

 

[DemonLlama]

Only in High School do we have to put up with one another based solely on our age, rather than true abilities and interests. I think that's why it is so valuable to have as many different programs in high school as possible so that teenagers can channel some of those hormones into things they are interested in with those of like minds.

Back when I was getting threatened in HS, it always seemed to be the kids-who-had-nothing-better-to-do than get with all the other kids-with-nothing-better-to-do and pick on others.

Sorry your DD is going through this. Maybe some role playing to think of some smart things to say if she gets threatened would help. You are wise to keep the administration informed, since you obviously weren't making too much of the last incident!

 

[Blueeyes101817]

i know what you mean..i graduated last year from high school...
there were the catty girls that made up rumors to break my boyfriend and i up....apparently that was the thing to do?!....someone always wants what someone has...its ridiculous...thats one of the reasons i couldnt wait to get out of high school..college is different in that aspect!

 

[Evil Princess]

It was worse for me in middle school, all the girls were just vicious there, however, my mom's favorite saying is "bigger kids, bigger problems".

In high school when there was drama it was always based on much serious things. There's drama in college too, but you mature and learn to stay away from those people who choose not to grow up.

We all went through it, well, I did. I had my share of girls trying to steal my boyfriend (one girl asked my boyfriend to prom when she very well knew we had been going out for two years), bad things happening at parties, fights between friends...everything you could imagine. I survived...and each experience, although overdramatic, taught me how to deal with people and situations.

Good luck to your daughter. I went through high school WISHING for college, and I made it out alive Freshman year is one of the hardest years. There is such a maturity difference between a freshman and a senior, it can be tough sometimes.

 

[OhMari]

Having 4 kids, 2 girls and 2 boys, I sure can relate to girls having more drama than boys.

My oldest daughter is in college. She had a few boyfriends in highschool, and her best friend sabatoged her and her boyfriend.

Other girls just don't want to see other girls happy.

Why is society like this, it is also in the work place, women stabbing each other in the back too.

Women -Stick Together

 

[Keli]

Hormones, way, way too many hormones! The idiots your dd is having to deal with will grow up someday but in the mean time...

 

[Stepharoonie!]

 

[leighe]

I am a high school teacher and a cheerleading coach - talk about drama! What I have noticed about high school students (girls and boys) is that a lot of them have very little sense of perspective. Everything is all about them all the time. Everybody's looking at me - everybody's talking about me. Also, their little dramas are what make their world interesting. I had one of my cheerleaders in my room yesterday and she was bawling - I mean having a crying jag - because her boyfriend had cheated on her and they broke up and so and so said this and so and so said that about it. I really did feel for her - I'm only 26, I remember what she feels like - but I was listening to her and I was thinking, "You are being a lot more dramatic than my best friend was when she found out her HUSBAND was cheating on her." Teenagers just aren't in a place in life where they always understand what's important. And they're not supposed to be - that's part of growing up.

 

[UncleKyle]

Just too many kids with self esteem issues who feel the need to make themselves feel important. High school drama will always be there because like previous posters have said, trying to grow up too fast and hormones are raging. Just tell your daughter to keep her chin up and not stoop to someone elses level, it's sad how mean and vicious girls can be over other guys when guys could care less if some other guy likes his girl. Last thing we do is start spreading rumors, we don't even know how. Hope your daughter makes it through ok, just tell her to start looking forward to college. Because whoever said high school was the best time of your life never went to college.

 

[Briar Rose 7457]

bbok recommendation --"Queen Bees and Wannabes" -- it explains a lot about high school behavior, mean girls, gossip, etc.

 

[luvflorida]

The previous poster beat me to it. I am reading Queen Bees and Wannabes and I also highly recommend this book to parents of girls in middle school and high school. The movie, Mean Girls, is based on this book. The book attempts to explain to parents exactly what the social world of their daughters is like. It discusses cliques, popularity, boyfriends, and most of all, why girls are so cruel to each other. It's an eye-opener and makes me wonder how some kids make it through each school day.

I hope the situation with your daughter is resolved, and as a parent, I would not hesitate to call the school and let them know what is going on.

My 13 year old daughter will be a Freshman in the fall and she is NOT looking forward to high school. She has had mostly good experiences in middle school. There have been a few instances where she has been upset and cried over friend issues, (not being invited to parties that other friends were invited to, not having a best friend, friends talking behind friend's backs.

My daughter is small for her age and looks younger than she is. She is worried about being in high school with so many older kids. She's worried about not having any friends, and the list goes on. I keep telling her that kids in high school act so much more mature than middle schoolers and that everyone tends to accept everyone else for who they are, but now I'm not so sure!

 

[daughter_of_amid_chaos]

And it doesnt go away in college either

 

[Briar Rose 7457]

Originally posted by luvflorida
The previous poster beat me to it. I am reading Queen Bees and Wannabes and I also highly recommend this book to parents of girls in middle school and high school. The movie, Mean Girls, is based on this book. The book attempts to explain to parents exactly what the social world of their daughters is like. It discusses cliques, popularity, boyfriends, and most of all, why girls are so cruel to each other. It's an eye-opener and makes me wonder how some kids make it through each school day.

I hope the situation with your daughter is resolved, and as a parent, I would not hesitate to call the school and let them know what is going on.

My 13 year old daughter will be a Freshman in the fall and she is NOT looking forward to high school. She has had mostly good experiences in middle school. There have been a few instances where she has been upset and cried over friend issues, (not being invited to parties that other friends were invited to, not having a best friend, friends talking behind friend's backs.

My daughter is small for her age and looks younger than she is. She is worried about being in high school with so many older kids. She's worried about not having any friends, and the list goes on. I keep telling her that kids in high school act so much more mature than middle schoolers and that everyone tends to accept everyone else for who they are, but now I'm not so sure!

my 13 year old is looking forward to high school. she's a "floater" and only has occasional problems with other kids.

my 11 year old, on the other hand, had major clique issues oin 6th grade, especially when two of her former best friends decided she would make a great "target". she didn't agree.