Why is it that someone can hold it together fine till they are asked "Are you OK?"...

[kangareaux]

just sayin...

 

[Serena]

I am the same way.

 

[Nennie]

HUGS!!!!

I do the same thing when I'm having sadness in my life...hold it together then someone asks me how I am, and I lose it.

You are not alone!!!

 

[BeachGirlFLA]

I'm the same way.

 

[Stevania]

When people get all caring, I get all teary.

 

[mkymouse1928]

Been there, done that. Even over rather minor things.

 

[Handbag Lady]

Because they usually are looking me in the eyes and are inviting me to open up and at that point, I really do need an outlet.

I'm sorry, I can't help it!


In case this is based on an actual event today.

 

[MaryAnnDVC]

I am so like that.

 

[hoosll]

I really think that a person feels they are hiding their emotions effectively so that when someone asks "Is everything OK?" - they realize that maybe they are unable to fool everyone - it can definitely come as a release to have someone see behind the facade.

 

[Angelrose]

Yes, I am the same way. I keep smiling and going on until someone asks if I am OK or they mention they are sorry about my DH passing. Then I just lose it.

Here's in case you need one.

 

[frndshpcptn]

I'm the same way. DBF and I (of 7 years) broke up last night and I moved out of our home this morning.

I have a great face on. Until my folks (who have taken me and our doggie in) askif I am ok. Then the tears just gush.

 

[metime]

I'm the same way. DBF and I (of 7 years) broke up last night and I moved out of our home this morning.

I have a great face on. Until my folks (who have taken me and our doggie in) askif I am ok. Then the tears just gush.

a broken heart is really rough.

 

[metime]

I have learned to cry later. My family has medical issues and I am pretty good at putting it off until I am in the shower. Most of the time I need listen to the DR and ask questions and so if I cried I would not be abel to focus.

Mostly it is because my children would get very worried if they saw me cry so I have gotten good at holding it together, in front of them anyway.

 

[WDWBarb]

Probably because the answer is, "no.." but it's just too hard to say.



I have this same problem.

 

[Gagirl69]

Yep, I can usually hold it together until someone asks those words..."Are you OK?" That is when the river starts flowing. Heck, its good to cry. I think it's very theraputic.

 

[crazy4stitch]

My husband passed away right before my daughters 9th birthday (and we were on a Disney cruise when he died), one of the first things I did when I got home was see a lawyer about making a new will in case something happened to me. I did fine through the whole meeting, even talking to him about what was going to happen since my husband didn't have a will. Everything was fine till the lawyer asked what my husband's name was, at that point I totally lost it. I have no idea why I was able to talk normally that whole time before that point with no problem. Just remember, take things one day at a time!

 

[alexandria674]

I actually can manage pretty fine throughout the day if I am sad or something but the exact minute someone asks me if I am ok in that soft comforting tone, I kind of lose it. Mothers are the worst at this. One time I didn't get a job I wanted and talked to my dad who seemed to be very straight forward about things, in a curt manner but the minute I talked to my mom who gave that soft voice of "Are you ok?" I just start crying.

 

[kangareaux]

Thanks everyone. Nothing bad actually happening to ME...just people around me. Watching a few relationships come unraveled...trying to get myself back in to school...too much estrogen in the building I work in (Elementary school...but some of the adults seem to think they are still in Jr High )...and then we had to go for a flu test for oldest yesterday. I went to pick the other kids up at MIL house and she asked the dreaded question. Of course, I lost it! LOL! I told her some of what's going on, but had to keep some of it to myself.

Watching people struggle with their marraiges has been the hardest. It's people that I'm close to. (More than one couple...at the same time. ) One, I totally get why she's upset. I know they'll pull through. The other... ....I just want to shake some sense into her. We can see her screwing up, but I don't think it will do any good to tell her that. She thinks she's totally in control of everything....and she's just SO not. She can't see the pain she's causing to people who love her.

I know I can't solve eveybody elses problems. But here lately, it feels like I'm just soaking up the sadness and anxiety that they are giving off. Does that make any sense? Everyone around us is having problems. There's nobody to let off steam with. Well, there's one person i could go to and let it all out, but she's friends with one of the couples having problems and as far as i know doesn't know anything about it. So, I don't want to divulge anything there...so here I sit...telling the world on a public message board. (makes perfect sense right? )

Anyway, thanks guys. Just knowing people understand is some relief.

 

[ChrizJen]

I'm the same way. I lost my dad 2 months ago. Most people have stopped asking if I'm OK. But the other day out of the blue, my DPartner asked me if I was OK. It was the 2 month mark since his death. I lost it. I felt like an idiot, but I guess I've just gotten so used to putting on a happy face and going about my day that I forgot that there are still feelings that I'm not dealing with.

I think that's it. We work so hard to get back into a routine when something bad happens. We put on the face, and go about our day. Then someone shows compassion, almost allowing us to put aside the happy face for a minute, and the flood gates open and it just pours out. You're definitely not alone, OP.

to you.

 

[Disney Doll]

Thanks everyone. Nothing bad actually happening to ME...just people around me. Watching a few relationships come unraveled...trying to get myself back in to school...too much estrogen in the building I work in (Elementary school...but some of the adults seem to think they are still in Jr High )...and then we had to go for a flu test for oldest yesterday. I went to pick the other kids up at MIL house and she asked the dreaded question. Of course, I lost it! LOL! I told her some of what's going on, but had to keep some of it to myself.

Watching people struggle with their marraiges has been the hardest. It's people that I'm close to. (More than one couple...at the same time. ) One, I totally get why she's upset. I know they'll pull through. The other... ....I just want to shake some sense into her. We can see her screwing up, but I don't think it will do any good to tell her that. She thinks she's totally in control of everything....and she's just SO not. She can't see the pain she's causing to people who love her.

I know I can't solve eveybody elses problems. But here lately, it feels like I'm just soaking up the sadness and anxiety that they are giving off. Does that make any sense? Everyone around us is having problems. There's nobody to let off steam with. Well, there's one person i could go to and let it all out, but she's friends with one of the couples having problems and as far as i know doesn't know anything about it. So, I don't want to divulge anything there...so here I sit...telling the world on a public message board. (makes perfect sense right? )

Anyway, thanks guys. Just knowing people understand is some relief.

I do understand what you are saying about soaking up the sadness... I have an elderly mother who is just draining the life out of me right now. She had a minor fall in April, no major injury, amazingly enough, but I think she has decided that she is old and it's time to die, and she really is quite exceptionally healthy for her age, and still fairly independent. I am the one who hears it...when she speaks to anyone else, everything is "fine", "great" etc...I hear the "my back hurts, I don't want to take Tylenol, I don't want to go for therapy, I am sick of going to doctors" blah, blah, blah....I can feel myself "tighten" up when I go to call her and I hate feeling that way about my mother! I just want to scream and tell her how lucky she is at 83 to be living independently with my father and still taking care of 90% of her own needs.

Then I have a freind with some emotional issues which is sometimes tough, I have a couple of friend couples who I think are having marital difficuilty even though it's not "official" yet.

Soemtimes I just want to tell everyone in my life to just "chill".....