Why I decided against a Disney Wedding

[FizzingWhizzbee]

The brunch minimums also include drinks for each person...so especially if you have alcohol this makes that minimum much easier to meet. The $100 is not just food.

Don't get me wrong, it isn't hard to meet the minimum. But there is no way that my guests will eat/drink 100 dollars worth of food for brunch in the middle of the day. And instead of being able to get centerpieces or something, Disney requires the purchase of food that they know fully well won't be used.

It is a scam.

 

[Jilian]

I can't say I blame you. For me it was the blatant lack of caring that Disney seems to have towards the brides. They don't return calls in a timely manner, make brides jump through hoops to have their questions answered and then think nothing of cancelling photo shoots and making changes at the last minute. The hush-hush attitude about the construction next to the WP and failure to warn brides who were spending thousands of dollars was just plain mean. Then there are the brides who end up with horrible services from Disney's vendors and Disney ignores the compaints. I really feel like Disney needs to step up their service when it comes to their "fairytale weddings". I understand that many brides do have wonderful weddings but lately that seems to be rare and it makes me sad that Disney doesn't seem to care. While I'm still slightly sad about not being able to have a MK shoot I am happy to have gone with the Swan/Dolphin over DFTW.

 

[girli565]

Special napkins, linens, chair covers, ribbon wands, etc, count toward the total minimum expenditure (in my case 12,000).

As far as I was told, they do not count toward the food and beverage per person minimum.

Which, is just another example of DFTW inconsistency.

They count towards both expenditures. The 12k is the overall minimum expenditure for your wedding as a whole without taxes & service fees(including everything from venue fees, centerpieces, floral, food, beverages, alcohol, etc.) and the $100pp can be from any item included in your wedding day, all day even if you have a brunch reception and a night time DP, that has a per person fee (ie: ribbon wands, chair covers, dessert party fees, brunch, drinks, napkins, chair ribbons, bag of petals for tossing, any favors you have Disney floral make, pre-reception menu items).

Let's say you add all those items up and you're at $106pp for the day, with 50 guests that would be $5300 towards your minumum expenditure for your wedding leaving $6700 for other things like venue fees(which really add up if you're using the wedding pavilion and an in-park reception location), floral (I had a small wedding and my floral was still over $2k), cake(even a small one is pretty pricey), & enhancements. The per person expenditure for brunch will also count towards your minimum wedding day expenditure of $12k.

 

[Crickety]

I keep telling my FH this is NOT my FAIRY TALE Wedding at all. I've never been in tears as much as this wedding is causing. FH is actually the one who linked me this post and said I would like it. We've discussed creating a blog to give another perspective of Disney's not so fairy tale weddings. I just wish brides were given the other side of the story.

We thought answers would get better once the money was in hand, but the person who we signed the contract was significantly better than our wedding planner IMO.

I am constantly given vague answers and the responses come across as if answering my question is a bother. Perhaps since I'm an Escape bride I'm not worthy of Disney hospitality? Heck I get more kindness and respect from the people answering the phones to take ADRs. Something is not right.

Wedding planners are there to help LESSEN stress mine only seems to create more. She really rubs me the wrong way.

The constantly changing policies also are a peeve of mine. Disney's Wedding department seems to make up rules as they go along. What is fine for one bride to do, the next is not allowed. And then I am constantly told the policy has changed. Really? because the person I got the idea from spoke to their WC yesterday and their wedding is AFTER mine!?!

Then lately we have had issues with prices. For instance, we asked about floral on our cake, real vs. sugar flowers. First message we got the fresh floral was $60 and no mention of sugar. Again we asked the same question. The next email we got the sugar couldn't be complete the way we wanted it and the fresh was $90. If it rose $30 in a matter of days. Who knows what it will be by our wedding considering the rate of increase. I obviously will be questioning the sudden increase in price, but I shouldn't have to IMO.

And I wish when I asked for options I wouldn't be given ONE thing, which always happens to be the most expensive. Then I ask about other things I've seen on here and they are either A) less expensive option that wasn't offered prior to asking or B) Policy has changed.

God I could go on and on with my frustrations with Disney Wedding.

Even after we signed our Escape contract we were considering upgrading to a Wishes package because we thought things were going to get so much better, but my wedding planner wiped any hope from our minds. I hope Disney recognizes this attitude some of the wedding planners have when responding to questions is turning people off. 10 Escape brides is $47,500 minimum not including the room, food, guest++ they bring to Disney. Those same brides turning away from a Wishes wedding are $125,000+++ So the numbers do add up fast.

Many days I regret doing Disney, but I am always wondering if I'm just unlucky. I wish other brides would share the good AND bad they experience. My FH says most brides just accept it because it's Disney and their wedding and magical Well I for one am not going to just throw on my rose colored glasses. I have always been peeved by inequality and injustices. Disney Wedding having different rules and prices for each bride is not fair and we should not have to accept it.

Thank you for being brave enough to start this post and sorry for my venting.

BTW: We have Carrie's book, and I've read it over and over. If Disney sent me a PDF like this with everything laid out and clear then they would make a heck of a lot more money off me. Of course there are somethings that would still fall out of the norm, but that would not be the majority like it seems to be now. Carrie why not go and run Disney's Wedding department? They clearly need you.

 

[Icecoldpenguin]

Hey there,

Ok first things first. You seem really frustrated and irritated I do not want to say angry but the vibe that you have some serious negative emotions is coming through. I do not think that this is unwarranted but I do think that to really inform prospective brides the post truly needs to be about facts.

It is important to note that you would have been a 2013 bride which means that all minimums and even prices for everything that our 2012 brides are looking at would be increased by the time you would be planning your wedding. So while some may say your facts are skewed this could be because of the 2012-2013 discrepancies. Also there are more ways for things to be skewed because you never went past the consultant stage to have a planner so you were only being told what Disney would "allow" you to be told.

I 1000% agree with you on several of your primary complaints which is why I switched to being a S&D bride. So now to hit on those
*the minimums, this is a troubling area especially since the tax and service charges are not included in the minimum. The $12,000 is not hard to spend really but with the extra fees added in on top it makes it out of a lot of people's price ranges in my opinion. I think that if they included these fees then they would probably get more business and who knows more people may be willing to spend more.

*the vagueness! Wow this happened to me too but the more I pressed and pressed and alternated phone vs email the more answers I got and the more and more comfortable I felt. However I still did not like that I could not get an accurate look at what my vision was going to cost me.

*the coordinator vs. having a planner this was the worst part. I did not want to drop money on a deposit without being able to get a realistic view of the wedding. This is why I am glad I went to the S&D I got my planner right away and they have worked tirelessly to help my dream come true and keep it under my budget

I feel like you said more...but I don't remember

I am glad you are doing something that you want but maybe look into a VR at the S&D in a few years

teresa

 

[lurkyloo]

I won't knock your decision but the per person minimums are usually inclusive of all per person items on your wedding day not just the food and beverage amounts. If you get special napkins, linens, chair covers, ribbon wands for your exit; those all count towards the per person minimum of $100 for brunch.

... and the $100pp can be from any item included in your wedding day, all day even if you have a brunch reception and a night time DP, that has a per person fee (ie: ribbon wands, chair covers, dessert party fees, brunch, drinks, napkins, chair ribbons, bag of petals for tossing, any favors you have Disney floral make, pre-reception menu items).

I'm sorry to contradict you, but this is incorrect, and I'd hate for any future brides reading this post to get their hopes up. The $75/$100/$125 (2012) and $100/$125/$150 (2013) per-person minimums are for food and beverage only. Accessories, linens, floral, and favors do not count toward these (unless, say, your favor is a dessert that comes from Disney catering)—they only count toward the overall minimum.

You can see it clearly marked on Disney's site, which states, "Minimum food and beverage expenditure is comprised of food and beverage costs planned on the event day, which may include pre-reception, reception, dessert parties, wedding cake and all alcoholic/non-alcoholic beverages."

If Disney sent me a PDF like this with everything laid out and clear then they would make a heck of a lot more money off me. Of course there are somethings that would still fall out of the norm, but that would not be the majority like it seems to be now. Carrie why not go and run Disney's Wedding department? They clearly need you.

And face the wrath of the DIS Boards? NEVER!!!

 

[bbb1019]

We have come across much of the same grief with disney. It seems as if you get the full spectrum of brides from those whose wedding went off without a hitch and others whom have left Disney altogether.

I was close a number of times to just forfeit my deposit and step away... mainly because the service was just not there. I had interviewed several other wedding planners in my area and all of them shined compared to Disney. However, this was something we couldn't forsee.

The costs are high, but we always had a budget and we are sticking to ours no matter What. Disney definately has a way to up the cost to anything you pick out, which really is unfortunate, but what you are paying for is the brand.. like a really expensive wedding dress or shoes..

I do think the one aspect Disney really needs to work on is transparency. For instance, an updated Budget and how you are spending it at regular intervals throughout your wedding planning.. not just a cost breakdown several weeks after your planning session, at which point you are so far in you'll have to crawl your way out.

 

[girli565]

I'm sorry to contradict you, but this is incorrect, and I'd hate for any future brides reading this post to get their hopes up. The $75/$100/$125 (2012) and $100/$125/$150 (2013) per-person minimums are for food and beverage only. Accessories, linens, floral, and favors do not count toward these (unless, say, your favor is a dessert that comes from Disney catering)—they only count toward the overall minimum.

You can see it clearly marked on Disney's site, which states, "Minimum food and beverage expenditure is comprised of food and beverage costs planned on the event day, which may include pre-reception, reception, dessert parties, wedding cake and all alcoholic/non-alcoholic beverages."

Ok, thanks for the clarifications. My planner told me this info when I was married, have these things changed since 2010?

Edit to add: ok, read the new requirements, and I will say that I'm glad I got married when I did because the hoops you need to jump through now would really turn me off to a wedding there.

A S&D wedding looks beautiful and a great option if you want Disney magic without the headache.

 

[FizzingWhizzbee]

I keep telling my FH this is NOT my FAIRY TALE Wedding at all. I've never been in tears as much as this wedding is causing. FH is actually the one who linked me this post and said I would like it. We've discussed creating a blog to give another perspective of Disney's not so fairy tale weddings. I just wish brides were given the other side of the story.

We thought answers would get better once the money was in hand, but the person who we signed the contract was significantly better than our wedding planner IMO.

I am constantly given vague answers and the responses come across as if answering my question is a bother. Perhaps since I'm an Escape bride I'm not worthy of Disney hospitality? Heck I get more kindness and respect from the people answering the phones to take ADRs. Something is not right.

Wedding planners are there to help LESSEN stress mine only seems to create more. She really rubs me the wrong way.

The constantly changing policies also are a peeve of mine. Disney's Wedding department seems to make up rules as they go along. What is fine for one bride to do, the next is not allowed. And then I am constantly told the policy has changed. Really? because the person I got the idea from spoke to their WC yesterday and their wedding is AFTER mine!?!

Then lately we have had issues with prices. For instance, we asked about floral on our cake, real vs. sugar flowers. First message we got the fresh floral was $60 and no mention of sugar. Again we asked the same question. The next email we got the sugar couldn't be complete the way we wanted it and the fresh was $90. If it rose $30 in a matter of days. Who knows what it will be by our wedding considering the rate of increase. I obviously will be questioning the sudden increase in price, but I shouldn't have to IMO.

And I wish when I asked for options I wouldn't be given ONE thing, which always happens to be the most expensive. Then I ask about other things I've seen on here and they are either A) less expensive option that wasn't offered prior to asking or B) Policy has changed.

God I could go on and on with my frustrations with Disney Wedding.

Even after we signed our Escape contract we were considering upgrading to a Wishes package because we thought things were going to get so much better, but my wedding planner wiped any hope from our minds. I hope Disney recognizes this attitude some of the wedding planners have when responding to questions is turning people off. 10 Escape brides is $47,500 minimum not including the room, food, guest++ they bring to Disney. Those same brides turning away from a Wishes wedding are $125,000+++ So the numbers do add up fast.

Many days I regret doing Disney, but I am always wondering if I'm just unlucky. I wish other brides would share the good AND bad they experience. My FH says most brides just accept it because it's Disney and their wedding and magical Well I for one am not going to just throw on my rose colored glasses. I have always been peeved by inequality and injustices. Disney Wedding having different rules and prices for each bride is not fair and we should not have to accept it.

Thank you for being brave enough to start this post and sorry for my venting.

BTW: We have Carrie's book, and I've read it over and over. If Disney sent me a PDF like this with everything laid out and clear then they would make a heck of a lot more money off me. Of course there are somethings that would still fall out of the norm, but that would not be the majority like it seems to be now. Carrie why not go and run Disney's Wedding department? They clearly need you.

Crickety,

I'm so sorry to hear that your wedding planning isn't going how you wanted.

The one thing I do think is that Disney will come through in the end. Unfortunately, I think there will be some headaches in the meantime.

Have you tried going over your wedding planner and expressing your dissatisfaction?

I didn't do that, but it would have been my next step had we decided to proceed.

 

[mb187143]

OP, I completely understand your frustrations - we've not had the same experiences, but I think the inconsistencies among the planners and the level of service really drives two brides to have such different experiences.

We're doing a Wishes wedding, Nov 2012 - i had Carrie's book in hand last February, 6 months before we even got engaged, and I did a LOT of research before we even sat down for our site visit. The way I approached the site visit and my whole outlook is that the burden is on me to do my research and planning, and then work with Disney to accomodate it - I kind of look at it like the "planner" in DFTW is not the same as if i'd hired a wedding planner here at home to coordinate my wedding. Now i know Disney is expensive, but in my mind i'm not paying for their planning services, i'm paying for the venues and location, same as i would be in my hometown. Again, that's just how i choose to look at it - but we decided to do Disney for factors having to do with a big disparity in the size of our respective guest lists, and not wanting to go to an island or vegas to get married.

In our case, we hit it off with our planner from the beginning. because i did so much research before we even had a site visit, i knew which areas I wanted to focus on with my budget, and which areas were less important. because my parent's and my fiance's mother are helping us, we don't have to be quite as restrictive with our budget, but we're paying close attention to our guest list before deciding on menu and bar options.

Our planner has been responsive to our questions, and she's been helpful when we've asked her to price something out for us. If we'd had someone who wasn't responsive, I wouldn't have been able to work with that effectively. I'm an impatient person, so taking forever to get an answer is just not an option for me. We lucked out with our planner in that regard. I definitely felt like once we signed the contract and paid our deposit, we got a lot more detailed information from DFTW. Our consultant was also very up front with us regarding the construction - he brought it up first, he showed us renderings, he volunteered information, without us asking first.

I can definitely see where if those were not your experiences, you'd be left with a bad taste in your mouth. I also think that having the Disboards is fantastic for planning and resources, but I think it also is a place where one planner told their bride X, and another bride was told Y by their planner, and now everyone's got different information and that leads to major frustration. I think consistency is key, and i know rules and minimums change from year to year, but this can be managed with effective communication. I completely get where you're coming from though, and how frustrating it can be. That just hasn't been our experience, which I am thankful for!

 

[FizzingWhizzbee]

What about doing memories collection? Or escape? You can do these for far less than what you quoted above...

Honestly, I am so fed up with DFTW, that I don't even want to deal with them anymore.

But, although they are cheaper, it doesn't include a meal, and the guest count is very limited.

If we are not having many guests, I would rather save the money.

For the price of an escape wedding, we could go to Disney for a week.

 

[FizzingWhizzbee]

Hey there,

Ok first things first. You seem really frustrated and irritated I do not want to say angry but the vibe that you have some serious negative emotions is coming through. I do not think that this is unwarranted but I do think that to really inform prospective brides the post truly needs to be about facts.

It is important to note that you would have been a 2013 bride which means that all minimums and even prices for everything that our 2012 brides are looking at would be increased by the time you would be planning your wedding. So while some may say your facts are skewed this could be because of the 2012-2013 discrepancies. Also there are more ways for things to be skewed because you never went past the consultant stage to have a planner so you were only being told what Disney would "allow" you to be told.

teresa

Haha, it's okay, you can say angry. I probably am. Disney wasted my time and I am not happy about it.

I was always very straight forward with them, and they were vague and condescending.

Although I am unhappy with them, I don't think anything I have said hasn't been factual. If it has, I will happily correct it.

I'm not even saying no one should have a Disney wedding. But, I will say that it wasn't at all a "fairy tale" for me.

If I had someone tell me these things beforehand, I would have known what to ask, and I could have made a well informed decision sooner.

 

[FizzingWhizzbee]

They count towards both expenditures. The 12k is the overall minimum expenditure for your wedding as a whole without taxes & service fees(including everything from venue fees, centerpieces, floral, food, beverages, alcohol, etc.) and the $100pp can be from any item included in your wedding day, all day even if you have a brunch reception and a night time DP, that has a per person fee (ie: ribbon wands, chair covers, dessert party fees, brunch, drinks, napkins, chair ribbons, bag of petals for tossing, any favors you have Disney floral make, pre-reception menu items).

Let's say you add all those items up and you're at $106pp for the day, with 50 guests that would be $5300 towards your minumum expenditure for your wedding leaving $6700 for other things like venue fees(which really add up if you're using the wedding pavilion and an in-park reception location), floral (I had a small wedding and my floral was still over $2k), cake(even a small one is pretty pricey), & enhancements. The per person expenditure for brunch will also count towards your minimum wedding day expenditure of $12k.

I see what you're saying, but that is definitely incorrect. Maybe that's how it used to be, but that isn't how it is now.

It is very explicit on the Disney website that the Food and Beverage minimum only includes food and beverages.

Also, I asked my WC and she was very clear: only food and beverages count toward the minimum.

 

[FizzingWhizzbee]

I completely get where you're coming from though, and how frustrating it can be. That just hasn't been our experience, which I am thankful for!

I'm glad to hear that you are having a good experience.

I'm sure a lot of it comes down to expectations.

 

[FizzingWhizzbee]

I can't say I blame you. For me it was the blatant lack of caring that Disney seems to have towards the brides. They don't return calls in a timely manner, make brides jump through hoops to have their questions answered and then think nothing of cancelling photo shoots and making changes at the last minute. The hush-hush attitude about the construction next to the WP and failure to warn brides who were spending thousands of dollars was just plain mean. Then there are the brides who end up with horrible services from Disney's vendors and Disney ignores the compaints. I really feel like Disney needs to step up their service when it comes to their "fairytale weddings". I understand that many brides do have wonderful weddings but lately that seems to be rare and it makes me sad that Disney doesn't seem to care. While I'm still slightly sad about not being able to have a MK shoot I am happy to have gone with the Swan/Dolphin over DFTW.

Part of me wishes I had known about S&D before I got fed up with the whole thing. They look beautiful, and everyone seems really happy with them.

Oh well. I think we are just going to take a really big honeymoon. Traveling is more my thing anyway.

 

[Icecoldpenguin]

Haha, it's okay, you can say angry. I probably am. Disney wasted my time and I am not happy about it.

I was always very straight forward with them, and they were vague and condescending.

Although I am unhappy with them, I don't think anything I have said hasn't been factual. If it has, I will happily correct it.

I'm not even saying no one should have a Disney wedding. But, I will say that it wasn't at all a "fairy tale" for me.

If I had someone tell me these things beforehand, I would have known what to ask, and I could have made a well informed decision sooner.

No you are absolutely right. It is like you have to do research to protect yourself so when you call them you know what to take from them and not what to take.

I was not saying you were not factual I was saying that some people may find your facts off because of the 2012-2013 difference. I was just trying to acknowledge that you were brave enough to start this thread and that your "anger" was shining through very loudly which I found entertaining because there are so many brides out there but no one wants to say it.

I think this thread is going to be very helpful I could even reply with why I chose S&D over DFTW

I bet you are fed up with the whole thing I know I would be had I not chosen sooner. Carrie's book helped me so much

Teresa

 

[mb187143]

I'm glad to hear that you are having a good experience.

I'm sure a lot of it comes down to expectations.

that may be true - but i don't think it's all expectations, some people have had very bad experiences, and there's no pretending otherwise. I do completely understand what your frustrations are, and had i had your experiences, i probably would have done exactly what you did.

i do hope that whatever you end up doing, you have a very wonderful wedding, because at the end of the day, that's what you're paying for, at Disney or anywhere else.

 

[FizzingWhizzbee]

I do think the one aspect Disney really needs to work on is transparency. For instance, an updated Budget and how you are spending it at regular intervals throughout your wedding planning.. not just a cost breakdown several weeks after your planning session, at which point you are so far in you'll have to crawl your way out.

I completely agree about transparency. If I had known ahead of time, I may still be doing it.

Even with our contract, there is a lot "hidden". I mean it's in there, but the contract is 16 pages and a lot of the unexpected fees don't show up until the end.

 

[FizzingWhizzbee]

No you are absolutely right. It is like you have to do research to protect yourself so when you call them you know what to take from them and not what to take.

I was not saying you were not factual I was saying that some people may find your facts off because of the 2012-2013 difference. I was just trying to acknowledge that you were brave enough to start this thread and that your "anger" was shining through very loudly which I found entertaining because there are so many brides out there but no one wants to say it.

I think this thread is going to be very helpful I could even reply with why I chose S&D over DFTW

I bet you are fed up with the whole thing I know I would be had I not chosen sooner. Carrie's book helped me so much

Teresa

Well I don't know how "brave" it is, but I'll always take a compliment.

Unfortunately when I'm angry it always shines through. (I'm definitely going to use that in the future). "I'm not raising my voice, that's my anger shining through."


I really agree about the "research project", I didn't at all feel like they were on my side. I felt like the WC was very adversarial.

 

[FizzingWhizzbee]

that may be true - but i don't think it's all expectations, some people have had very bad experiences, and there's no pretending otherwise. I do completely understand what your frustrations are, and had i had your experiences, i probably would have done exactly what you did.

i do hope that whatever you end up doing, you have a very wonderful wedding, because at the end of the day, that's what you're paying for, at Disney or anywhere else.

Yeah, I just want to be careful not to rain on anyone's parade. Disney weddings are beautiful, even if they are a headache.

I think for 100 guests, I would have needed at least 30,000 to make it worry free and I just wasn't willing/able to spend that.

I think we are going to do JOP with parents and siblings. I'm just really excited to be married to my fiance. (And to take our honeymoon!)