Why don't people RSVP?

[Hidden_Mickey]

I can't stand it when I invite people to a party and they never RSVP. I had a birthday party for my daughter last week and 6-7 people never called. I brought extra goodie bags in case they showed up because I really had no idea if they were coming or not. I've had family members hem and haw when I called to ask if they were coming to a party and they hadn't responded yet, like they were afraid to tell me they weren't coming. I'm not going to be upset if you can't come because I know I can't accept every invitation I get, but at least be polite and let me know. I need to know how many people I should plan for, whether we are talking about how much pizza to order or if I should make 2 pounds of potatoes or 8 pounds of potatoes, to how many goodie bags I should prepare. Does this bother anyone else, or am I making too much of this?

 

[ilovejack02]

People dont rsvp because they are lazy and rude.

 

[MrsPete]

I can't stand it when I invite people to a party and they never RSVP. I had a birthday party for my daughter last week and 6-7 people never called. I brought extra goodie bags in case they showed up because I really had no idea if they were coming or not. I've had family members hem and haw when I called to ask if they were coming to a party and they hadn't responded yet, like they were afraid to tell me they weren't coming. I'm not going to be upset if you can't come because I know I can't accept every invitation I get, but at least be polite and let me know. I need to know how many people I should plan for, whether we are talking about how much pizza to order or if I should make 2 pounds of potatoes or 8 pounds of potatoes, to how many goodie bags I should prepare. Does this bother anyone else, or am I making too much of this?

I agree with the other poster: people don't RSVP because they're rude and lazy.

Here's a hint that I've picked up over the years: Don't put the time or the place on the invitation. Instead, just give the date and write in "Call for details on time and place". That way, if they don't RSVP, they also can't show up.

 

[pearlieq]

People dont rsvp because they are lazy and rude.

That's pretty much it. That and they seem to be holding out to see what the "best" offers are.

You can tell who your real, faithful friends are when you throw a party. The ones that call you the day they get the invite and wouldn't dream of being anywhere else are the ones to count on and cherish!

 

[Mike.Wazowski]

ohhh I am sooo right there with you on that one -
we have friends - a family of 5 mind you - that NEVER response and I end up asking my DH "ask so and so if him and the family are coming" and they sstill don't give him a straight anser so when planning menues I am then always make somethign that a lot of leftovers would be ok!....
you are right people are lazy rude and some just clueless I might add

 

[It's A Happy Day]

Funny, I had this conversation with my mother this afternoon. DSB almost never attends my kids b-day parties so I really don't "count" on him to be there but it is a difference of 4 people not just 1 - his wife & their twins (so that means 2 more goodie bags too). While I don't mind a fluxuation of 1-2 people either way, when it involves a whole group I get annoyed because alot of the time it comes down to do I buy 3 packages of 8 or 4 with favors, cups, etc. I ALWAYS have extra but sometimes you just don't know If I get an invite to something I don't want to attend or talk to the invitee, I call when I know/think they are not home or drop a note in the mail so at least they KNOW my family of 4 will not be there.

 

[jbmom]

I agree with the other poster: people don't RSVP because they're rude and lazy.

Here's a hint that I've picked up over the years: Don't put the time or the place on the invitation. Instead, just give the date and write in "Call for details on time and place". That way, if they don't RSVP, they also can't show up.

I like this idea. It drives me crazy as well.

 

[Aimeedyan]

I am hosting a dinner party for work next weekend and we have to give FIRM numbers to the caterer 5 days in advance and provide payment so no one can just show up - or stand us up!

I put aside what I'm sure is bad manners and am having my assistant contact anyone that hasn't RSVP'd. Perhaps rude, but we have to know. I may just start doing that with all events with an RSVP - calling the people and asking since I haven't heard from them.

 

[C.Ann]

It's really unfair - but the funny part about it is when the shoe is on the other foot, I bet they have a hissy fit over it!!

 

[ilovejack02]

My way of handling rsvps is as soon as I open invites I call immediately. It always surprises people how fast I answer LOL.

 

[Cyndirella]

That drives me crazy!! I have a birthday party for DD scheduled for next Friday night at a skating rink and the package is food, etc. for 10 kids. She invited 13, figuring not everyone would be able to come. I put my phone # and e-mail address on the invitation and still haven't heard a word from anyone. If more than 10 are coming, I need to order an extra pizza and more drinks...but I don't want to order more unless I'm sure. Why can't people take a minute or two to respond?

 

[cybrkitn]

I've asked the same questions many times for DS's birthday parties. The mentality I get is that they see no reason to call because we should already know they will be coming Um, no we don't! How else are DH and I to know how much food to order if we don't have a head count?

 

[cybrkitn]

I put aside what I'm sure is bad manners and am having my assistant contact anyone that hasn't RSVP'd. Perhaps rude, but we have to know. I may just start doing that with all events with an RSVP - calling the people and asking since I haven't heard from them.

I've had to call people too. I don't think it's rude to do at all. What I find rude are those people who don't bother responding. That tells me that you aren't coming.

 

[mookie]

My DH's side has done this. My mom has invited his side to a few of her bigger parties, and they just "assume" that I'll be their representative in letting my mom know if they are coming or not. I have enough things to do than to be a secretary.

 

[EthansMom]

I always end up calling everyone (except the few that RSVP in a timely manner) to ask them if they're coming. Often, they've misplaced the invitation and completely forgotten about the party!!!!

I'm seriously considering not having any parties this year. We'll be on vacation for DD's birthday and DS would be just as happy going to pizza and a movie with just one or two good friends.

And don't even get me started on people not RSVPing for family get-togethers. After hostessing Christmas Eve dinner, I may not want to host any family get-togethers this year, either.

 

[dzorn]

OK I'll do it right now for the b'day invite my daughter got.

Denise in MI

 

[summerrluvv]

I honestly think people do not know what RSVP means. I think people think it means you only have to call if you are coming. DS's party is tomorrow and we invited the 14 kids in his class. Five of the kids' parents called, the rest did not. One kid's mom called yesterday and left a message on my machine that she knows it's passed the RSVP date and her son has been bugging her to call for days but can he still come. Why she didn't call days ago when her son was bugging her is beyond me!. I even put my email address on the invite. Well, we already invited cub scout kids since no one else bothered to call and are at the limit so no, her son can't come. I didn't call her back. I feel bad, and usually am a pushover, but how do these parents learn?

 

[shirleyb]

For kids birthday parties, though, you can't always blame the parents. Sometimes my DD doesn't bring the invite home!

I personally won't call if I don't hear from someone, I will just assume they are not coming.

 

[korbbec]

I don't even have kids, but feel this pain daily. I work in a place that hosts childrens birthday parties and am constantly calling birthday moms (btw-why is it ALWAYS the mom?) to try to get a final head count. I had one today- the lady reserved in Nov for next Sat. She gave a head count of 18-20, which is fine, especially that far out. Well, I called her today to confirm/ update the head count- it is now 12-19 people It got worse, not better. She told me out of 19 invites she was still waiting to hear from 7 people. People just don't get it.

 

[summerrluvv]

For kids birthday parties, though, you can't always blame the parents. Sometimes my DD doesn't bring the invite home!

I personally won't call if I don't hear from someone, I will just assume they are not coming.

Well, I know that the teaching assistant puts the invites in the kids backpacks in my son's class, so I just think they are rude, or don't "get" the RSVP thing. My son has had the same kids in his class for the last three years and it's always the same people that don't respond.