Why do you home school?

[sha_lyn]

I'm intrigued by the idea of homeschooling (though kids are merely a twinkle in my eye at this time). My question is, for those of you who homeschool, do you work outside of the home? A 9-5 job?

I work part time as a martial arts instructor, and have worked the front desk at a MA school previuosly. I can take DD to work with me. I have know a few HS moms that do work, but most work a different shift then their DH. I actually know of 2 dad who do most of the HS'ing while the mom works. In one family the mom is actually a school teacher and the father is a police officer. He works 2nd or 3rd shift. In the other family the mom travel 3-4 days out of the week and dad works out of the house. I also know a family where both the mom and dad are in college full time, but have arranged their schedule so one of them is at home with the kids while the other is in class.

 

[LanaJae]

I have a question...why do people always ask about socializing or socialization for homeschoolers when public schools frown upon socializing during school hours? You are not allowed to talk unless spoken to during class....and no standing around in the halls, you need to get to class.

This is such an excellent point. I don't home school and have not considered it. I have 4 kids (oldest in college, youngest in first grade). Several of my cousins do home school and all of their children are well-adjusted socially.

The one thing I noticed is that sheltering seems to be more of an issue that socializing and I've seen some of the kids get an us vs. them attitude, as if everyone on the outside is going to try to teach them something they should not learn. (I should mention that all the members in my family do home schooling purely for religious reasons, so this would probably not apply to home schooled situations where that isn't the foundation for home schooling)

I attended something called an ACE school for two years in the late 70's. I feel it was the single most damaging aspect of my education and destroyed my love of learning for many years. I heard a few years ago that the program has been reinvented as a home school tool and I hope that it is nothing similar to what it was when I was a child.

 

[graygables]

The one thing I noticed is that sheltering seems to be more of an issue that socializing and I've seen some of the kids get an us vs. them attitude, as if everyone on the outside is going to try to teach them something they should not learn. (I should mention that all the members in my family do home schooling purely for religious reasons, so this would probably not apply to home schooled situations where that isn't the foundation for home schooling)

I started homeschooling 12 years ago and can tell you that the face of homeschooling has radically changed. Used to be it was considered the religious right protecting their children from the liberal NEA (and all the heathen who supported them by sending their kids to PS) or a few "hippies" here and there who were bucking the establishment. I could fall on either side of that tree, actually...scary thought...

Curriculum choices were much more limited and we were looked at like weirdos, as if we were starting our own cult or something. Fortunately, homeschooling has become more mainstream and there are fewer and fewer (as evidenced by the poll) that are choosing it primarily for "sheltering" issues. The majority of homeschoolers today are less about sheltering their children and more about exposing them to TRUE learning. The learning that happens by experience and doing. It's parents who are tired of dealing with the aftermath of the bullying and harassment, the pointless tests and power trips, the wasted hours of valuable time and the social engineering in the public schools.

Sure there are still those (like my brother and his family) who are a cult in the making and there are those who joyously rebel against the establishment and homeschool "under the radar", but for the most part, it's ordinary people who've made a societally difficult choice to help their children learn in a way that works best for them and for their family dynamic. I think that's why most of us laugh at the "S" word anymore...it is *SO* last century in the homeschool discussion. It's the one thread that the public schools cling to in their argument against homeschooling and they can't see that there isn't anything on the other end anymore.

It's important that we, as homeschoolers, spend time educating "the public" about what our home schools are like. In my many conversations that usually begin with, "Why aren't you girls in school today?" people have said, "I had no idea..." and were much more receptive to the idea when they see that we aren't some kind of whack jobs and really needed to get going so we could be on time to ice skating lessons (or art, or music, or our field trip...)

I am excited to see where homeschooling goes and where this nation goes as "mainstream homeschoolers" start coming to the forefront in industry, government, and business. Creative and dynamic thinking in Washington??? Imagine that!

 

[CEDmom]

http://www.disboards.com/showpost.php?p=20923156&postcount=24

http://www.disboards.com/showpost.php?p=20923318&postcount=26

Our life contains plenty of boring and mundane. The whole point is that they're experiencing real life, complete with all the not so fun stuff, just like I do. We're not always playing and partying and doing whatever they want to do.

Then why not just call it homeschooling or send them to school since that's part of real life . If they're not leading the way each day then it doesn't sound like "unschooling" anyway. For the record, going to school is part of real life for a child.

BTW, just to clear up my previous post, I never said everyday life was boring and mundane. I said certain aspects were. Off the top of my head things like cleaning, laundry, mowing come to mind. We do them because they are necessary and because we like the end result but honestly who can get excited about scrubing a toilet.

And PLEASE don't twist my words to use as ammunition that homeschooling is the solution to a good education. I also said my DD8's school is dynamic and she isn't chained to a desk being force fed facts all day long. She has never once come home and said school was boring - actually just the opposite. IMO homeschooling would be the absolute last resort to ensuring my child receives the best education possible since we're surrounded by so many better options.

Finally DD is allowed to talk in school and get to know her classmates. It really is a fun place and they don't teach to the test although they always test high. It's a public school BTW.

 

[Nikel]

Then why not just call it homeschooling or send them to school since that's part of real life . If they're not leading the way each day then it doesn't sound like "unschooling" anyway. For the record, going to school is part of real life for a child.

BTW, just to clear up my previous post, I never said everyday life was boring and mundane. I said certain aspects were. Off the top of my head things like cleaning, laundry, mowing come to mind. We do them because they are necessary and because we like the end result but honestly who can get excited about scrubing a toilet.

And PLEASE don't twist my words to use as ammunition that homeschooling is the solution to a good education. I also said my DD8's school is dynamic and she isn't chained to a desk being force fed facts all day long. She has never once come home and said school was boring - actually just the opposite. IMO homeschooling would be the absolute last resort to ensuring my child receives the best education possible since we're surrounded by so many better options.

Finally DD is allowed to talk in school and get to know her classmates. It really is a fun place and they don't teach to the test although they always test high. It's a public school BTW.

How about I won't twist your words if you don't twist mine? I'm not even sure why you'd assume I'd do that in the first place.

1st, I never said that they don't get to make decisions on what they want to do, just that they don't dictate our entire lives. And the choices they do make aren't always to go to Disney World (which actually provides a ton of learning opportunities if one chooses to approach it that way) or other "fun" activity.

Call it homeschooling if you'd like. I really don't need you to validate what we do. We don't use a curriculum. The topics we learn about are chosen by the kids, and we learn about them the way they want to. I choose to use the label unschooling because that seems the most appropriate for what we do, IMO. If you don't agree, then you can call it whatever you want.

Going to school may be a real part of life for your family, but please don't think it's a real part of everyone's life, or even that it needs to be. If the schools there keep the children engaged, have small enough classes to cater to individual learning styles and individual paces in learning certain subjects, and teach how to survive in the real world rather than regurgitate facts that will never be used for most after school, then you've got it good. I'd choose public schooling too in that situation. Just remember that we don't all have that available to us. Our decision was to stay here and homeschool, so we could keep our children close to their extended family. We could move away to a state with better education, but that's not the right choice for us right now.

Homeschooling may be a last resort choice for your family, but public school would be a last resort choice for us right now. As long as both of our children are happy and learning, then why does it matter that they're going at it differently?

 

[cemsanchez]

Graygables----I completely agree with you . Homeschooling and public education has become the new "mommy war" . I believe that parents are the best teacher for their child, and everyone has a choice. Sometimes people take offense to the fact that we homeschool because they may feel we think the choice they made for their child was wrong or teachers feel we are saying they can't do their job. I love teachers , I just don't like the system of standardized testing. So the homeschoolers get on the deffense and start looking at anything negative they can find in ps. I think people should research and educate themselves about all the options that are available for eduaction and realize that there is more than just public and private schools. You can homeschool, use a charter/umbrella school. Just a thought . I wouldn't call that sheltering but more of what is best for my child way of thinking.

 

[LanaJae]

I started homeschooling 12 years ago and can tell you that the face of homeschooling has radically changed. Used to be it was considered the religious right protecting their children from the liberal NEA (and all the heathen who supported them by sending their kids to PS) ...............................Sure there are still those (like my brother and his family) who are a cult in the making and there are those who joyously rebel against the establishment and homeschool "under the radar", but for the most part, it's ordinary people who've made a societally difficult choice to help their children learn in a way that works best for them and for their family dynamic. I think that's why most of us laugh at the "S" word anymore...it is *SO* last century in the homeschool discussion. It's the one thread that the public schools cling to in their argument against homeschooling and they can't see that there isn't anything on the other end anymore.

In my extended family (cousins), I've got half doing a combination of the way it used to be, but trying to include newer ideas like co-ops; and the other half heading in your brother's direction.

I know they don't represent all home schoolers, but I do think they are the types that might be perpetuating the arguments.

I've enjoyed reading this thread to see the diverse reasons for home schooling and I'm impressed with anyone who does this. I am fortunate to be in a public school system that I feel is doing an excellent job and I have never been afraid that public schools might take away my children's values and beliefs - that's the only disagreement that I ever have with my cousins. I just don't go there with them on that as we would never reach an understanding.

 

[disneynutt1225]

Thanks for the answers - it's very interesting to read about. I really don't know if we'll ever get to a point where I'll be able to homeschool, but it's nice to know it's an option down the road.

 

[Principessa Alba]

While I agree that people have the right to do what they think is best for their children, I think it is obvious that there is more than we could all say than we are, for fear of starting a fight or stepping on toes.

I wish we could have an actual debate on the merits of the different methods of educationg without someone resorting to personal attacks, or someone getting too sensitive about someone else's opinion.

I am not completely anti-homeschooling because I know that there are situations in which it would be the best choice, but I do disagree with some of you that you have made the best choice. I know, it is none of my business, but i think it would be a discussion worth having.

I think a deeper discussion about homeschooling would be fascinating, if everyone just said what they thought without bringing personalities into it. Without flaming or fear of being flamed.

 

[Kath2003]

Agreed, very interesting thread. I'm still very pro-school over homeschooling but it's interesting to see the reasons why people do homeschool. I wouldn't consider it unless I had a special needs child, though (and even then there are lots of amazing schools for special needs kids in the UK so it would be unlikely to happen even then).

 

[Karel]

First, I disagree with your statement about kids with LD not being held back. At least in FL where the FCAT seems to be the main focus, kids are held back regularly (LD or not). 3rd. grade seems to be the year to do it. They want to increase those tests scores. <snip>
This is a kid that keeps a stock portfolio. He talks about mergers and corporations like most kids talk about baseball. His understanding and love for numbers is simply scary! To put him in the highest level math program offered in an elementary school would hold him back and bore the heck out of him. If he was in a "special" reading program and held back a year all because of his reading, I am betting his math skills would diminish along with his self-esteem.

Did you ask (about working on algebra in school)? And if he's that good in math, I think the school would want him to bring up their math scores. If he went to a rr for reading etc. maybe he could work on higher math there. You have to admit most fourth graders aren't ready for algebra.

In this area, (and I've worked in three different school districts and know several others), it is very rare to hold kids back. Kids that are held back because they have missed so many days of school that it is hard to really see how much they have learned. I know that in our HS, if you didnt' 'pass' one part of the standardized test, they work with that student the next year on their weak areas. For example, my daughter has supplemental math in addition to her regular math so she can get through the test next spring. I don't see this as a penalty or teaching to the test. They found a weak spot and they are doing what they can to help her. (And her self esteem is just fine thanks.)

How are his other math skills? Fractions, decimals, etc. etc. As you know, Algebra is a small piece of the math pie. My oldest flew through it but fell apart when he got to geometry.

 

[Wishing on a star]

So the homeschoolers get on the deffense and start looking at anything negative they can find in ps.

No, this is untrue...
In most cases, I think the complete opposit is true.

I don't think it is correct or fair to make this kind of assumption and to put words in other posters mouths.

I did not decide to homeschool, and then go looking for all the problems in our PS system in order to justify my decision, and/or to attack others. NOT AT ALL. This is clearly backwards, putting the cart before the horse.

My son has been in the public school system.
I saw the glaring problems in our PS system. (didn't even have to go looking to find them) And, then, as a cause-effect, I felt that I must pull my son out of PS. I decided to homeschool.

 

[Wishing on a star]

I am not completely anti-homeschooling because I know that there are situations in which it would be the best choice, but I do disagree with some of you that you have made the best choice. I know, it is none of my business, but i think it would be a discussion worth having.

I think a deeper discussion about homeschooling would be fascinating, if everyone just said what they thought without bringing personalities into it. Without flaming or fear of being flamed.

True!
But, all in all, I do think that this has been a fairly productive conversation.

I am sure that there are many cases where the home-schooled children are not being adequately educated, and the parents are not truly capable of effective home education. If that is what you are referring to, then I would have to agree. HOWEVER, this would mean that in order to disagree about homeschooling, you would have to openly say to the parent 'You are not capable' or 'your using homeschooling as a big cop-out'. And, yes, 'them's fight'n words!!!'

Other than that, there are many pros and cons to both types of education.
I think that we all know that.

Therefore, in order to have a productive and positive 'deeper' discussion, you would have to simpy exclude or rule out, or ignore 'those parents'.

For every parent who may not be capable and willing to do what is right and best in education, there are also teachers and school districts who are guilty of the same!!!!! (don't want to include a laundry list here, children left behind, drop-out rates, functionall illiteracy, etc...)

On one side you have many homeschooling parents who believe that their PS system has faoults and is not in their child's best interest. On the other side, you have those who feel that PS is better, and that homeschooling has faults and is not the the child's best interest.

Neither is 'perfect' and both may have major faults.
So, let's just admit all of this, and level the playing field here.

Otherwise, the barbs and flames and bashing will be the order of the day.

 

[Principessa Alba]

Well, I am sure that there are many cases where the children are not being adequately educated, and the parents are not truly capable of effective home education. If that is what you are referring to, then I would have to agree. HOWEVER, this would mean that in order to disagree about homeschooling, you would have to openly say to the parent 'You are not capable' or 'your using homeschooling as a big cop-out'. And, yes, 'them's fight'n words!!!'

Other than that, there are many pros and cons to both types of education.
I think that we all know that.

Therefore, in order to have a productive and positive 'deeper' discussion, you would have to simpy exclude or rule out, or ignore 'those parents'.

For every parent who may not be capable and willing to do what is right and best in education, there are also teachers and school districts who are the same!!!!!

So, let's just admit all of this, and level the playing field here.

Otherwise, the barbs and flames and bashing will be the order of the day.

But my opinions about home schooling are not really about who is and who is not "capable". There were a few school years that I'm sure I could have done a better job (and we did a lot at home), but for me that isn't my point or my problem with home schooling.

 

[TinkerbellMama]

Other. Let me see if I can articulate this properly. I don't agree with the structure, pace, testing, heavy workloads, etc of formal education. I do understand why it's that way, when there are so many children in a classroom. It's just too one size fits all. I prefer to follow my children's pace and interests. FWIW, we're unschoolers.

I agree with this poster.
We are also unschoolers! Well, I suppose we would be considered eclectic, properly...but with heavy unschooling tendencies!
I would also add that we are philosophically opposed to the goals and methods of compulsory, formal education. In other words, it wouldn't matter if we lived in the best school district in the country, and my son could have the best teacher in that district...we'd still homeschool. I have respect for teachers, who work hard and almost always have the best interests of their students at heart. I simply do not believe the public educational system is set up to maximize those desired results. I know my son will receive a better education NOT attending school, and that is really my first priority.
Way down on my list (although no less important; it's just that we aren't faced with these particular issues) are the safety and "negative influence" factors. They are real problems, just not ones directly related to our decision to homeschool.

 

[laurie31]

I am sort of unusual among homeschooling parents because DD8 is in public school while DD11 is homeschooled (we just started this year).

I read a wonderful article several years ago that talked about the three options (public, private, and home school) and how each of them were appropriate for certain children and certain families and it was up to you (the parent) to decide which option was best for YOUR child. Most articles I've read are very skewed towards one option and negative about the others. I liked seeing that ANY option could be the right one, depending on your individual situation.

DD11 went to private school for 3 years, public school for 3 years, and now we're homeschooling her, so she's done it all now - lol. We are NOT anti-public school. My dad taught in the public school system for 39 years The local elementary school is very good, and I'm happy with DD8 being there. However, the middle school is a place I would not board my dog, so how can I send my child there? (They are working on a new building, but it won't be finished until 2009). Also, I don't agree with the concept of middle school in general (so a new building would not rectify all that's wrong) and finally, our particular middle school has issues academically. By which I mean someone from the school system told us, to our face, that they had nothing to offer our DD there.

She and I are both LOVING homeschool and I plan to homeschool DD8 when she gets to middle school as well. We are currently planning to return to the public school system for high school, but we will see how things go. Right now, I can easily see myself keeping her home until she graduates, but that's a decision that will be made later.

 

[meandtheguys2]

I am not completely anti-homeschooling because I know that there are situations in which it would be the best choice, but I do disagree with some of you that you have made the best choice.

What an odd and judgemental statement. As though you have any idea what the best choice is for another person or family.

 

[Praise2Him]

We were sort of like you too. We started homeschooling late, when the oldest DS was a freshman in college (public school all 12 years), middle DS was in the 10th grade (all public school except 1 year of private and hated it), and youngest, DD was in 8th and asked to be homeschooled. She had attended PS for 4 years, Private School for 3 years, and I was a teacher at the private school. Middle DS said, "No way" and stayed at PS for another year and a half, then for some reason at Thanksgiving in 11th grade decided to be homeschooled the rest of the way.

So we've pretty much done it all. And even though the Public Schools in our area are excellent and the Private School was too, our favorite is still Homeschooling. I acknowledge that it isn't right for everyone, but it is so perfect for us!

 

[Principessa Alba]

What an odd and judgemental statement. As though you have any idea what the best choice is for another person or family.

OK, let me take a stab at this.

Of course we all have ideas like this. I'm sure you have something that you feel that all children need. You mean to say that you never look at other families and disagree with something they are doing? I think we all do that.

Just like many of you here on this thread have talked about how you disagree with what a traditional school is all about, I have my own problems with what homeschooling is all about.

Really, this is why it is so hard to have a real conversations if I am not able to give my true feelings without being called odd and judgemental.

 

[sha_lyn]

Really, this is why it is so hard to have a real conversations if I am not able to give my true feelings without being called odd and judgemental.

The fact is you are in no position to make such as judgement as

I am not completely anti-homeschooling because I know that there are situations in which it would be the best choice, but I do disagree with some of you that you have made the best choice.

So are you claiming that you know every detail of the situation for some of us? Useless you do know every detail, you really aren't IMHO in a position that would allow you to make an educated judgement. It is broad statements such as the one you made that make it impossible to "debate" homeschooling on the DIS.