Why do you home school?

[disneymom3]

Just like many of you here on this thread have talked about how you disagree with what a traditional school is all about, I have my own problems with what homeschooling is all about.

Really, this is why it is so hard to have a real conversations if I am not able to give my true feelings without being called odd and judgemental.

I think really that the problem is that no one starts a thread saying that they wonder why on earth people are sending their kids to public school. Many of us do feel strongly negative toward the public schools. For many of us, you have no idea why because we edit ourselves so as not to stir up any more hornets. So, when it comes to a "real" conversation most of the time, it is simply homeschoolers having to defend their choices, not an actual conversation. If you were told that you were screwing up your child's childhood because you were sending them to public school like sheep to the slaughter, would you not think that person was being judgemental and get a little defensive?

The DIS overall is not a very homeschooling friendly place. Many of us on this thread have had the "conversation" umpteen times. I am happy to explain why I do what I do when asked very nicely as was the OP seeming to be. I will not however, go on to defend my family's choice. Partially because I will never say here what a lot of our real reasons are.

As for someone else deciding weather others have made the best choice or not, it really doesn't matter. There are plenty of people in the world I don't think should have had children ever but I didn't get a vote.

 

[sha_lyn]

Actually, I do have some questions about homeschooling. And they're directly linked to the concept of separation of school from home or work from home. How do you separate teacher/mommy from mommy/mommy? Is there a difference? Should there be one? Also, do you have a separate area that signifies "learning in progress" as opposed to a family room which may be used for other purposes? Are they intertwined? Does it work if they are? And lastly, how do you separate learning time from playing time? Is it a conjoined theory of learning/playing or does one naturally separate from the other?

You'll probably get as many different answers as there are home-schoolers.
In very general terms you have the home-school philosophy that it is all intertwined and on the other "extreme" end you have the ridged school at home philosophy.
Personally we fall in between somewhere.
We have a "classroom" mainly because the supplies were over taking the dining room. DD probably does about 1/2 the actually school work in there. Reading together is usually done in the living room. Her free time reading is done where ever she lands LOL. Most written work is done at the table in the classroom, but if pushed for time she'll finish up at the kitchen table what I'm making dinner. The other day my back was killing me, so she brought the lap desk into my room and we did math in my bed.

As for playtime, I guess my DD said it best when explaining HS'ing to a PS friend. The friend's "concern" was that DD didn't have recess. DD said she gets recess "whenever". sometimes it's at the beginning of the day, sometimes in the middle and sometimes not until she's finished all her school work. Her friend seemed horrified that sometimes DD wouldn't get "recess" until after she finished with everything.

In many ways homeschooling isn't just the type of education the child receives it is a lifestyle. Sometimes it's hard to separate the 2 but sometimes its really fun when you don't. IE the other day DD crawled into bed with me. I rolled over. DD said "hey you kneed me." I laughed and said "yes honey I needed you." Then hugged her. My silly moment then became a lesson on homophones. I guess the best way to look at it is that we sort of follow the same natural way of learning that takes place in their early years. Let's say your 3 yr old is coloring and ask you want color crayon they have. You don't say to them "oh honey I can't tell you. It isn't color learning time. It is free play time now." You tell them what color it is. Then if they really seem interested in color, you might encourage them to combine yellow and red to see what color they end up with. However if they turn around and start coloring again the "learning" moment ends there.

 

[graygables]

First, I'd need to be convinced that a home school environment was not too controlled.

I'm not sure how this is relevant, either. The PS classroom was always MUCH more "controlled". The school system decides what is taught and what is omitted. The teachers are restricted now by the NCLB and testing, so their environment is very tightly controlled as far as what is being taught.

I know that you go to great lengths to socialize your kids and to get them out into other classes and such, but in the end, you are leaving very little up to chance. I know that there are people out there with things to offer my kids that perhaps I would not recognize.

I don't understand the "leaving very little up to chance" comment. Since we live in less structured and restricted way than PSers, it is much easier for my children to have encounters with "chance" people on the playground, at the mall, at a show, etc. B/c we view these encounters as learning opportunities (even for the adults), we tend to spend more time involved with them. For instance, at AKL, rather than be in a big rush to the next thing as so many other parents are, we tend to sit around the table and chat with the CM from Zimbabwe or South Africa and learn about their culture from their own perspective. I think the majority of HSers seek out these opportunities or more easily recognize them when they come as it's part of our learning culture.

I think that in a traditional classroom so much is going to come up that I can't anticipate. i believe my children learned so much from the whole experience, not just the curriculum. I can't tell you how many times my kids learned something because of the diversity of their classroom. Things that I couldn't or wouldn't have known were important to teach.

I'd like you to elaborate with some examples of this and how they are exclusive to the PS classroom environment.

My husband and I always felt like our kids primary teachers, but the resources, the good and the bad of traditional school are things I am not sure how you could duplicate.

Duplicating the public school environment or experience isn't the goal. For us, the goal is giving our children a full and vibrant education with a deep understanding of the world in which they live that is best achieved through experience and true learning.

 

[Karel]

I don't want to not be able to go to see family in New Orleans for Thanksgiving b/c my kids' school won't let them have more days off. I don't want to miss out on family weddings/funerals/births b/c my kids have to sit in school and read about what happens in the real world. I don't want my child to miss out on the experience of.....going to the Olympics in a foreign country.....or, going to Harbin, China to see the Harbin Snow & Ice Festival....or seeing the Northern Lights.....or St. Patrick's Day in Ireland......or the Running of the Bulls in Pamplona, or any other once in a lifetime learning experience that I can provide him with b/c, you know, he'll miss out on doing too many math worksheets at school. And yes, all of these things are being planned for him, and any other kids we have. I have the time and financial means to show him the world and gosh darn it, that's what I'm going to do. If our kids DO get sent to high school (and it would be private) we are planning on taking them on one of those 3 month, around the globe cruises before they go. <snip>. Another part of his "curriculum" will be volunteering for Habitat for Humanity and doing Inner City missions. Things we'll all do together. His middle school years, and maybe high school, will have numerous missions trips to countries less fortunate than our own. I want him to see that not everyone in the world has a warm bed, all the food they want, and iPods. And judging by some of the stories you hear about kids these days, it doesn't look like many schools, public or private, are doing that good of a job in that area or education........

Some of that sounds great and travel is fun and a great way to learn things but most people don't have the luxury of time and money to drop everything and go. You must be independently weathly. How can your husband get so much time off?

Learning Chinese at a young age is great but how useful is that? What are you going to do when he says, I really don't want to go to Grandma's - I'd rather go to the football game with my friends.


I would rather have my kids play a team sport with their friends rather than going to the Olympics (though that would be interesting but I'm not sure about educational) I want them to help an elderly neighbor or the family in our town that lost their house to fire rather than travel to a third world county on a mission. They've been to a shelter to serve meals and know that not everyone has it so good.

I would rather they participate in their own backyard then be an observer. There's plenty of time later for them to travel and see things. I want them to have a strong sense of self and community.

 

[Kath2003]

I'm very pro-classroom because I believe that it does kids good to work with those who may have different strengths and weaknesses, and also because I think having to conform is a good skill for children to learn. I'm not a "special snowflake" kind of person, though

Homeschooling is really uncommon in the UK, probably because most schools are great (and not as big on testing as the US, although they are big on it).

 

[Sleepy]

I homeschool because the PS system would not work with my son's dance schedule. They did him a favor.

 

[graygables]

I would rather have my kids play a team sport with their friends rather than going to the Olympics (though that would be interesting but I'm not sure about educational) I want them to help an elderly neighbor or the family in our town that lost their house to fire rather than travel to a third world county on a mission. They've been to a shelter to serve meals and know that not everyone has it so good.

I would rather they participate in their own backyard then be an observer. There's plenty of time later for them to travel and see things. I want them to have a strong sense of self and community.

As someone who spent over 400 days travelling the world in a 7 year period (and many more since then), I have to disagree with you. I ran a footrace on the original Olympic track with my brothers. I walked inside Mt. Vesuvius. I attended a Venetian wedding reception and tried calamari for the first time. I walked the streets of Jerusalem late at night and spent the night laughing and talking with Israelis and learning about them. I argued politics with my German godbrothers (even to this day... ) I played with British schoolchildren that we met on our travels during the summer of the Bicentennial of the American Rebellion and learned THEIR perspective. I got a private tour of the Blue Mosque from its curator who had been honored by Queen Elizabeth and he let me hold his medal. I learned a bit of Spanish from the children we met along our travels there. I watched my father leave us at the border between West Berlin and East Berlin b/c he wasn't allowed across and they felt it was vitally important that we see first hand what was behind the walls. I saw Yugoslavia when it was still a country and the poverty in which those children lived. I learned about communism first hand when I asked why the Bulgarians still had their Christmas decorations up in June, only it wasn't Christmas decorations, but shiny communist stars. I learned about Normandy by walking in the trenches.

I still attended "public school", my Dad was an Army officer, so not independently wealthy by any stretch. Our schools encouraged travel and as long as we were able to make the grade, then so be it. We had a camping trailer and took off, even for long weekends, every chance we got. Along the way, we made "playground friends" at the various campsites. We learned to communicate with hand signals or rudimentary exchanges of language.

During that time, we helped dig wells for water, helped families who were displaced, helped rebuild a home burned to the ground, served those less fortunate than ourselves, and were very active in our community, wherever that community happened to be.

I would rather my children have a view of the global community with a heart for the world which does, in our view, begin in our own backyard. We observe and we participate, they are not mutually exclusive.

As far as team sports go, many HSers do participate in team sports, just not the Friday Night Football Game. Many HSers do NOT participate in team sports b/c we haven't bought into the social programming that encourages it.

 

[cemsanchez]

No, this is untrue...
In most cases, I think the complete opposit is true.

I don't think it is correct or fair to make this kind of assumption and to put words in other posters mouths.

I did not decide to homeschool, and then go looking for all the problems in our PS system in order to justify my decision, and/or to attack others. NOT AT ALL. This is clearly backwards, putting the cart before the horse.

My son has been in the public school system.
I saw the glaring problems in our PS system. (didn't even have to go looking to find them) And, then, as a cause-effect, I felt that I must pull my son out of PS. I decided to homeschool.

I homeschool my children, I know many families that homeschool and I also know many people that work in education and that send their children to public school. I am not making an assumption I am stating what I have seen for myself. It is happening on this thread people are taking offense to others posts about their opinions on education. I did not put words in other posters mouths, I stated that this is what I believe. Just like you are stating what you believe or feel is true to your situation. People feel they need to justify why they live a certain way. I apologize if what I wrote upset you, that was never my intention to do that. I am simply stating that as a reaction to someone making a comment, the result is a comment made back. Just because you did not do this does not mean others do not. I have a sil that homeschools also and she had a degree in education and has taught in the public school system and now will only homeschool, my other sil has a masters in education and is an assistant principal she would never consider homeschooling. I get along with both of them because we have agreed to disagree, but the two of them together go head to head all of the time. Neither one of them having anything positive to say about the others decision on education, they just see the negative of their decision. I have heard other moms in my homeschool group go on and on about how much better homeschooling is in deffense to what others have said to them. But just let me set the record straight I never said homeschoolers or public schoolers wake up and start their day with the intention to look for the negative in others. Both parties go back and forth justifing why they homeschool or use public education and everyone just goes in circles. That is my personal opinion. Honestly, I am not trying to add fuel to the fire . I have been out all day and missed the earlier posts. I just did not want to leave the impression that I was trying to start an angry argument. I am glad to see the thread moving forward again.

 

[Karel]

mixed in. They also don't have to grow up to have boring and mundane jobs. I'm sorry, but I don't believe that people should just put up with boring and mundane b/c "that's just the way it is." You only have one life, and it is what you make it........

The people with the boring and mundane jobs are the ones that give you the world that you live in. The firefighters, the police, the people making electricty, the nurse, the trash collector, the waiter... They make society run. Millions of people get up every day, day or night, to make sure that your life is comfortable.

I don't want my nurse not knowing how to figure out medication because 'she wasn't interested in learning that part of it..."

Yes, I want my children to find something they like to do but even the most desired job has it's down sides, it's dull moments. I want them to contribute to society, whether it's being a janitor or a CEO of a corporation.

 

[Wishing on a star]

I'd need to be convinced that a home school environment was not too controlled. [/B]

Wow!!!!! JUST WOW!!!!

I have not read any other comments beyond this sentence... I had to stop in my tracks and respond.

In my son's public school classroom doors are locked. Parents are not allowed to enter the building, and the children get two, yes TWO, restroom breaks in an 8 hour day. (If they request that they NEED to be excused to go to the restroom, they are penalized.) These children are under repressive control every single second of the school day. The school seems to have a need to control little childrens basic bodily functions.

And you think Home Education is too controlled???

Freedom from this kind of control is one huge reason for many home educators.


Sorry, but if you have such erroneous preconceived ideals and expectations, including a blanket negative opinion of home education, then I do not see how there can be any open-minded and positive discussion here.

If you want to defend the controlled and structured system of public education, and you feel that this is what is best for children, then fine... You are welcome to your opinions. I will not disagree with you or try to change your mind.

You say you want to hear more, that you want to understand. But, with the negative statements that you have made, followed with such a completely untrue assumption (PS is less controlled than HS), I really do not see that there is anything that anyone here could say that you could begin to understand.

 

[Wishing on a star]

So the homeschoolers get on the deffense and start looking at anything negative they can find in ps.

I think people should research and educate themselves about all the options that are available for eduaction and realize that there is more than just public and private schools. You can homeschool, use a charter/umbrella school. Just a thought . I wouldn't call that sheltering but more of what is best for my child way of thinking.

Sorry if I did seem to be throwing some flames your way!!!

I completely agree with the last paragraph of your comments above!!!

It is just that we must be careful about making blanket statements and putting words in the mouths of others. As a Home Educator, I do not agree with the statement above, and would never say/do that. And, I feel that this is probably true of many other Home Educators too!

 

[JennyMominRI]

Sorry if I did seem to be throwing some flames your way!!!

I completely agree with the last paragraph of your comments above!!!

It is just that we must be carefull about making blanket statements and putting words in the mouths of others. As a Home Educator, I do not agree with the statement above. And, I feel that this is probably true of many other Home Educators too!

I never felt that way either..If I did, I certainly would not have put my kids back in school when circumstances changed.

 

[sha_lyn]

I'm very pro-classroom because I believe that it does kids good to work with those who may have different strengths and weaknesses, and also because I think having to conform is a good skill for children to learn. I'm not a "special snowflake" kind of person, though

Why do those elements have to take place 7.5 hrs a day 180 days a year?
My DD has (DS had) the opportunity to experience those things as a part of co-op classes, Martial Arts, scouts etc

The people with the boring and mundane jobs are the ones that give you the world that you live in. The firefighters, the police, the people making electricty, the nurse, the trash collector, the waiter... They make society run. Millions of people get up every day, day or night, to make sure that your life is comfortable

I don't think you are getting the point she is trying to make. No one is forced into those career fields. If someone chose to become a police officer it would be because they wanted to, not because a teacher decided they had to. If they discovered they didn't like the job, they can change career fields.
How would you feel if you were forced into a career field you didn't like?

I don't want my nurse not knowing how to figure out medication because 'she wasn't interested in learning that part of it..."

I don't think anyone would want that. Where do you get the idea that that would be considered OK?

Yes, I want my children to find something they like to do but even the most desired job has it's down sides, it's dull moments. I want them to contribute to society, whether it's being a janitor or a CEO of a corporation.

And your point is what? That you believe that homeschoolers are selfish and don't want their children to contribute to society?

 

[Nikel]

Thank you!

I certainly do agree that homeschooling is the best sometimes! I would in a heartbeat do it if I needed to.

I disagree with the people who say that they'd do it even if the schools were good because the structure of traditional school is not good. I disagree with that.

Well we're just going to have to agree to disagree here.

The people with the boring and mundane jobs are the ones that give you the world that you live in. The firefighters, the police, the people making electricty, the nurse, the trash collector, the waiter... They make society run. Millions of people get up every day, day or night, to make sure that your life is comfortable.

Not sure what you're getting at here......

I don't want my nurse not knowing how to figure out medication because 'she wasn't interested in learning that part of it..."

Well then she's wouldn't earn the advanced degree, now would she? We're not all completely against any formal training or regulations. In some fields, it's obviously needed, and I doubt you'll find many, if any, people that would disagree with you.

Yes, I want my children to find something they like to do but even the most desired job has it's down sides, it's dull moments. I want them to contribute to society, whether it's being a janitor or a CEO of a corporation.

Umm, doesn't everyone want that for their children?

 

[Kath2003]

Why do those elements have to take place 7.5 hrs a day 180 days a year?

I don't think they have to, but kids spend more time at home with their parents and doing out-of-school activities than they ever do in school, so they still get a range of opportunities. I just like the contrast of the two elements of school (i.e. having to conform, but at the same time learning to value other people's opinions, strengths, weaknesses and contributions), plus like I said, I'm not a 'special snowflake' kind of person so I do think conformity is something positive in a child's life. You don't have to agree, and you can do what you want with your kids, it's no skin off my nose

My future kids will be attending public school, though, and I will still have plenty of time to spend with my children to explore areas they want to learn more about, just the same as I had that opportunity with my parents and they theirs

 

[cemsanchez]

Sorry if I did seem to be throwing some flames your way!!!

I completely agree with the last paragraph of your comments above!!!

It is just that we must be careful about making blanket statements and putting words in the mouths of others. As a Home Educator, I do not agree with the statement above, and would never say/do that. And, I feel that this is probably true of many other Home Educators too!

Its all good . What I was trying to write just came out wrong.

 

[LisaR]

I would rather have my kids play a team sport with their friends rather than going to the Olympics (though that would be interesting but I'm not sure about educational) I want them to help an elderly neighbor or the family in our town that lost their house to fire rather than travel to a third world county on a mission. They've been to a shelter to serve meals and know that not everyone has it so good.

I would rather they participate in their own backyard then be an observer. There's plenty of time later for them to travel and see things. I want them to have a strong sense of self and community.

But that is just what that particular poster plans on doing. Most H.S. are not traveling the world (although most would probably love to, myself included). But my kids (along with most H.S. kids that I know) do play team sports and volunteer locally.

 

[sha_lyn]

I don't think they have to, but kids spend more time at home with their parents and doing out-of-school activities than they ever do in school, so they still get a range of opportunities.

During the school yrs (when school is in session) I don't really believe that to be the case. Imho you can't count the time they are sleeping.
So let's say on average counting commute time the school day is 8 hours. They sleep for 8 hours. There is 2/3 of the day gone right there. 20min per grade level of homework a night + 30 reading time. So the average 6 grader would have 2.5 hrs of homework not counting studying. Round that up to 3 hrs to account for studying. That leave 5 hours a day for socializing, extra curricular activities, eating dinner, bathing, free time etc.

 

[Kath2003]

That's the difference between the US and the UK systems - the 5th graders I was with last week get 10 spellings to learn, a multiplication table to learn, and 30 minutes of homework per week, plus 20 minutes of private reading per night - so probably 30-40 minutes homework per night (Mon-Fri). If school finishes at 3.15pm, they're home and changed by 4pm, homework's over by 5pm. Even in 11th and 12th grade I wasn't doing more than 2 hours a night of homework, although I did revise around exam time. Then you got weekends, school holidays etc. etc.

 

[Karel]

I don't think you are getting the point she is trying to make. No one is forced into those career fields. If someone chose to become a police officer it would be because they wanted to, not because a teacher decided they had to. If they discovered they didn't like the job, they can change career fields.
How would you feel if you were forced into a career field you didn't like??

I guess I did miss her point because I didn't see anywhere that a teacher was deciding these things. I don't think teachers have the ability to decide and force a career field on their students. I read it as how terrible to have a boring mundane job and live a perfectly average life. The 'whole my child's life will be better because we're off to see the world'!

Nurse comment:??[/QUOTE]I don't think anyone would want that. Where do you get the idea that that would be considered OK??[/QUOTE]

That was a side comment on unschooling. I get the homeschooling thing mostly but not unschooling. If I could learn only what I was interested in learning, I would have never learned math and most of the sciences. I sometimes thing what would happen down the road if I forget to impart some crucial piece of knowledge to my kids, like never stick a metal fork into the toaster. What if that nurse was unschooled and never learned to....(fill in the blank) because it didn't interest her.


[/QUOTE]And your point is what? That you believe that homeschoolers are selfish and don't want their children to contribute to society?[/QUOTE]

No, no, no. It was a response to the poster (Princess Michelle??) about living a quiet normal life. I think my family has a great life and is getting a good education. We don't need to travel the world and experience poverty in some world country to be well rounded people.