Why do you home school?

[LisaR]

My view, however, is that my wife (who was a primary teacher for seven years prior to staying home with the kids) and I can supplement her learning at home by being supportive parents and challenging her to read / write / do real-world math problems.

Good luck with that plan! We saw some of the same things in the classroom that you are seeing. No problem, we thought. We can just supplement at home. Yeah, right! The amount of homework my daughter was getting was ridiculous. We were lucky that she had time to shower and eat every night. I am not sure when we would have ever had the time to supplement. We decided to H.S. for one year (and at the same time we would search for a better school for her for the following year). That was 7 years ago and she hasn't been back. Our son has never been. It is a great lifestyle for all of us.

Socialization is a HUGE problem for us. I tell my kids all the time that we really have to STOP socializing so much so we can actually get school work done. My kids have plenty of friends, activities and time to just be kids. Socializing is the least of my concerns.

 

[disneymom3]

Lisa--I love your post. I was just telling my kids today that we canNOT go on a field trip with some of our friends on Monday because we do actually have to spend SOME time at home in order to homeschool!

I also wanted to say to those of you that have not been there, please join us on the Homeschool List thread on the family board. We are usually on page one or two. There are some unfamiliar names on this thread so I wanted to make sure you knew it was there. We have asked for a forum for Homeschoolers and it may happen some day--keep hoping! But in the meantime, just join in the thread. You don't have to read it all as it's been going for over a year now.

 

[sha_lyn]

My child and I would kill each other if we homeschooled. He needs a social outlet and the opportunity to meet others and to decide how he wants to fit into the classroom society. And to be honest with you, I think that's a pretty important factor in my decision making.....not the quality of schooling nor the quality of the students.

Oh good greif. We don't lock our children in a dugeon 24/7.
Our children have social outlets, meet other children etc

 

[graygables]

I voted other b/c we homeschool for several reasons.

1) I used to be a high school English teacher. BTDT, don't want my kids to go through it. I was in a "premiere" district and could not believe the cr*$ I was exposed to, including being told to adjust grades for an athlete.

2) Both DDs still at home are special needs. They have a myriad of issues that would make public schooling extremely difficult for them.

3) We travel. A LOT. We just put 4000 miles on our van on our recent 3.5 week trip to do scrapbook shows/vacation. We're leaving again in 10 days for a weekend in Alabama, 2 weeks after that is a weekend in Pittsburgh, and 2 weeks after that is DCL/WDW/last show of the season.

4) I can teach them better than anyone else. I was their first teacher and we have a relationship and rapport that simply cannot be had in a public school. I *LOVE* my children deeply and care for their well-being more than any PS teacher ever could (not saying that PS teachers don't care for their students, but they aren't their mothers).

5) We do not believe in the social engineering that is taking place in public schools. Imaginative, free thinking and creativity is squashed in place of columns, rows, testing, and pressure. There is more to life than learning to stand in a straight line in the hallways.

6) Having our children learn to "socialize" with a variety of people rather than a fixed age group is important to us. I love to watch their ice skating class and see the 17yo kids helping the 5yo kids. During free skate, rather than the older ones taking off and hooking up, they use that time to coordinate games that all the children can play together.

7) work ethic. My children work for a paycheck in addition to their learning and regular chores. I have a business and they work for me. As such, they are learning the value of hard work and the dollar. My 19yo is very grounded and works very hard. She is currently working as a professional babysitter while in school and always is receiving compliments about her maturity and work ethic. If they attended PS, there would not be time for them to learn these kinds of life lessons with the time wasted during the day on nonsense, the time on the school bus, then homework.

8) My DDs can all set up their own households, cook, clean, and provide for themselves by the time they are 18. They know how to balance a checkbook, manage their money, buy and prepare a variety of non-convenience foods, set up phone service, read contracts, and more. We are equipping them not only with knowledge of the world, but practical knowledge that they will need in their every day lives. The PS grossly fails to do this, assuming that everyone will go to college and that somehow, magically, they will learn how to do these things even though they are not covered on a test somewhere.

9) Revisionist history and more...I grew up in Europe. I was an American Army brat, but we travelled and learned about the world. When we moved back to the States, I was shocked at how little people knew (or wanted to know) about what lies beyond our borders. I choose to teach my children global thinking rather than American thinking. Yes, we are Americans and very proud of that. I burst with pride about my Dad's service to this country in 2 wars and 20 years. However, NOT being able to see America as the rest of the world does is what got us into a lot of the trouble we're in now. My girls learn not only about the American Revolution, but also the American Rebellion (spending the summer of 1976 in England as an 11yo was very eye-opening)

Traditional school is simply not an option for our family.

 

[Princess_Michelle]

9) Revisionist history and more...I grew up in Europe. I was an American Army brat, but we travelled and learned about the world. When we moved back to the States, I was shocked at how little people knew (or wanted to know) about what lies beyond our borders. I choose to teach my children global thinking rather than American thinking. Yes, we are Americans and very proud of that. I burst with pride about my Dad's service to this country in 2 wars and 20 years. However, NOT being able to see America as the rest of the world does is what got us into a lot of the trouble we're in now. My girls learn not only about the American Revolution, but also the American Rebellion (spending the summer of 1976 in England as an 11yo was very eye-opening)

This is the 2nd biggest reason why we are going to use the sonlight curriculum. They say in their "mission statement" that while it is important to learn about one's own country and that they are very patriotic; they don't agree that about 80% of History taught in US schools is about America. Considering that America has only been around for a few hundred years, and only comprises like 10% (maybe less?) of all recorded history, it seems that US students miss out on A LOT of history. (The biggest reason we are using it is b/c it's Literature/comprehensive thinking based)

 

[gina2000]

Oh good greif. We don't lock our children in a dugeon 24/7.
Our children have social outlets, meet other children etc

No one has suggested that you lock your children in a dungeon. But for us, a one on one situation would be counterproductive to the learning process. That's for and of whom I was speaking ....my family....just as you speak for yours.

 

[Principessa Alba]

THe answers are very interesting! I think I am seeing more general philosophy issues than I thought I would. I guess I thought there would be specific school or teacher issues, and rather it is the nature of a traditional classroom that is the problem for many of you.

Like I said, I really don't want to debate because everyone should do what is best for their own family, but I think that I probably wouldn't homeschool because of a difference in opinion about the very definition and purpose of "school".

Really, interesting reading. Thank you for your posts.

 

[Karel]

7) work ethic. My children work for a paycheck in addition to their learning and regular chores. <snip> as a professional babysitter while in school and always is receiving compliments about her maturity and work ethic. If they attended PS, there would not be time for them to learn these kinds of life lessons with the time wasted during the day on nonsense, the time on the school bus, then homework.

8) My DDs can all set up their own households, cook, clean, and provide for themselves by the time they are 18. The PS grossly fails to do this, assuming that everyone will go to college and that somehow, magically, they will learn how to do these things even though they are not covered on a test somewhere.
.

I have to disagree with these two items. Many public school kids do this kind of thing too. When they come home, they don't hide in the house till the next morning. Our HS is finished by 2:45 and they are home at 3. They have at least seven hours of day left.

My 16 year old joined our volunteer fire company and responds to calls. He's currently taking EMT class at the County College two nights a week. He also does Latin Club (at the state level) and tennis,soccer, all through the school. He umps the town baseball games. He's learning time management to get everything accomplished. He is in communication with all sorts of people throughout his week, month, year.

My 15 year old attends the County Institute of Technology to learn how to be a chef. He gets all the regular classes there too. When he turns 16, he'll join the fire company too. When he's a senior, we're hoping he'll be able to spend part of the school day working in a restaurant. He's also in Boy Scouts, which provides him with all sorts of leadership skills and life skills.

As to cleaning and cooking, etc., most of that is the parents' responsability to teach. My oldest did take a 'Life Skills' class at school which included balancing a checkbook, cooking and sewing. (He made a sweatshirt for his little sister!) There are classes in school for kids if they choose them or if they are appropriate for them. The school realizes Calculus is not right for everyone.

All my kids know how to clean a toilet and vacuum a room. They grocery shop with me, help cook and do their laundry.

 

[CraftyMouse]

No one has suggested that you lock your children in a dungeon. But for us, a one on one situation would be counterproductive to the learning process. That's for and of whom I was speaking ....my family....just as you speak for yours.

See, this is where a lot of the misunderstanding of homeschooling comes from. Homeschoolers are not always home with their parents all day. There is cooperative learning with other families, learning through experiences outside the home, social activities with both home- and traditionally-schooled friends, etc. It is so much bigger than what most people think. We often have to make time to stay home and get things done as there are so many other things to do elsewhere that also provide educational opportunities.

Homeschooling is far from a one-on-one situation for most of us.

 

[Principessa Alba]

See, this is where a lot of the misunderstanding of homeschooling comes from. Homeschoolers are not always home with their parents all day. There is cooperative learning with other families, learning through experiences outside the home, social activities with both home- and traditionally-schooled friends, etc. It is so much bigger than what most people think. We often have to make time to stay home and get things done as there are so many other things to do elsewhere that also provide educational opportunities.

Homeschooling is far from a one-on-one situation for most of us.

I don't think you understand what she is saying. I was going to try to explain, but I don't want to put words in her mouth. But she isn't trying (I don't think) to say that your kids are with you all day, but that she doesn't feel (as I do) that being her child's primary teacher would be productive (correct me if I'm wrong Gina).

 

[gina2000]

Principessa Alba, you're pretty much in sync with my thoughts. Every teacher brings something new and exciting to the forefront each day in my son's classroom situation. I feel that situation is very positive for my child in particular and children in general. The few homeschoolers that I know (and this may be where your situation differs from my experiences) learn with their parent(s) and siblings every day. Their afternoons are comprised of extracurricular activities similar to if not the same as those my son engages in. From what I've been privy to, cooperative learning groups are not used to educate on a daily basis though they are, of course, incorporated into the curriculum. That one to one learning is where I believe my son and I would not have a continuous, positive learning environment. He needs to see others around him, participate and compete with others in a classroom environment, as well as socialize with others in a setting away from his or his friends' parents.

I'm not knocking homeschooling. I'm merely discussing how and why I don't believe it would work for my son based on my observations of other families in the area who are homeschooling. We all come from different realities and make choices based on those realities. If I felt that our school did not provide a positive environment in which to learn, I'm sure I would be considering alternatives. My educational background is traditional in nature and worked for me so I felt that it was a workable and positive situation in which to place my son. Had it not been, I would have, of course, considered other methods of learning.

 

[JennyMominRI]

Principessa Alba, you're pretty much in sync with my thoughts. Every teacher brings something new and exciting to the forefront each day in my son's classroom situation. I feel that situation is very positive for my child in particular and children in general. The few homeschoolers that I know (and this may be where your situation differs from my experiences) learn with their parent(s) and siblings every day. Their afternoons are comprised of extracurricular activities similar to if not the same as those my son engages in. From what I've been privy to, cooperative learning groups are not used to educate on a daily basis though they are, of course, incorporated into the curriculum. That one to one learning is where I believe my son and I would not have a continuous, positive learning environment. He needs to see others around him, participate and compete with others in a classroom environment, as well as socialize with others in a setting away from his or his friends' parents.

I'm not knocking homeschooling. I'm merely discussing how and why I don't believe it would work for my son based on my observations of other families in the area who are homeschooling. We all come from different realities and make choices based on those realities. If I felt that our school did not provide a positive environment in which to learn, I'm sure I would be considering alternatives. My educational background is traditional in nature and worked for me so I felt that it was a workable and positive situation in which to place my son. Had it not been, I would have, of course, considered other methods of learning.

And that's what it's all about..Every family is I as in a very non-workable school situation and made the choice to take things into my own hand.. When my location and situation changed, I revaluated and did what was in the best interest of everyone.

 

[mello]

The short answer is because it works for us.

Here's the long, boring version...

When I was in college to be a teacher, they encouraged us to develop our own theories & philosophies on education. Unfortunately, once I got into student teaching I was disillusioned to find out that most of those lovely theories can't or don't work in an institutional school setting for various reasons. I remained convinced, however, that they would work in smaller-group or tutoring-type settings.

We put our oldest son in school, (in spite of my theories lol), and he was ahead academically but a bit young socially, and he had a very hard time. As a first-grader his whole personality changed from sunny and outgoing to sullen and nervous. He was bullied by older kids on the bus until he finally decided to run away from it one day, and the school called us. We thought, "this can't continue", so we started looking into homeschooling.

Once we started, it was SO much fun! We were able to go at ds' own pace, which was/is slower in some areas and faster in others. We could entirely skip things he already knew and spend more time on things that were difficult. We were able to find out about things that interested us.

We're now in our 7th year of homeschooling, and starting on our 3rd child (she's in "preschool" this year).

Another bonus is that, because we're not tied to a specific school schedule, we can work around my dh's work schedule, which is not a normal 9-5 Mon-Fri thing. Our younger ds, who plays hockey at a competetive level, doesn't have to "miss school" and fall behind like most of his team-mates do - we just adjust things when we travel. And best of all, we can go to Disney during the off-season!

 

[CraftyMouse]

I don't think you understand what she is saying. I was going to try to explain, but I don't want to put words in her mouth. But she isn't trying (I don't think) to say that your kids are with you all day, but that she doesn't feel (as I do) that being her child's primary teacher would be productive (correct me if I'm wrong Gina).

I completely understood what she was saying. She said that the one-on-one situation wouldn't be good for her or her child. I was just trying to explain that it isn't always one-on-one...more like that saying "it takes a village to raise a child". Homeschoolers don't just learn from their own parents. There is so much cooperative learning and learning through experience. My kids are home with me sometimes, but they learn from others as well. That's all I was saying. I just don't think many who don't homeschool truly understand what it is like but many think they do. (I'm not speaking of the poster I responded to, just the general negative responses homeschooling often gets.)

 

[CraftyMouse]

Principessa Alba, you're pretty much in sync with my thoughts. Every teacher brings something new and exciting to the forefront each day in my son's classroom situation. I feel that situation is very positive for my child in particular and children in general. The few homeschoolers that I know (and this may be where your situation differs from my experiences) learn with their parent(s) and siblings every day. Their afternoons are comprised of extracurricular activities similar to if not the same as those my son engages in. From what I've been privy to, cooperative learning groups are not used to educate on a daily basis though they are, of course, incorporated into the curriculum. That one to one learning is where I believe my son and I would not have a continuous, positive learning environment. He needs to see others around him, participate and compete with others in a classroom environment, as well as socialize with others in a setting away from his or his friends' parents.

I'm not knocking homeschooling. I'm merely discussing how and why I don't believe it would work for my son based on my observations of other families in the area who are homeschooling. We all come from different realities and make choices based on those realities. If I felt that our school did not provide a positive environment in which to learn, I'm sure I would be considering alternatives. My educational background is traditional in nature and worked for me so I felt that it was a workable and positive situation in which to place my son. Had it not been, I would have, of course, considered other methods of learning.

Oh, I never thought you were knocking homeschooling...just that you have an idea of what it is that isn't completely accurate for many of us. I was just trying to say that it isn't all one-on-one.

And I also wanted to say that if your child's teachers bring something new and exciting to the classroom every day you are really lucky. Far too often these days teachers are bogged down with behavior management issues, teaching to the lowest ability level and the red tape of school administrations. There certainly are some great teachers out there but there are just as many who have lost the love of what they do. If your child has not experienced this then count your blessings!

 

[Wishing on a star]

Good luck with that plan! We saw some of the same things in the classroom that you are seeing. No problem, we thought. We can just supplement at home. Yeah, right! The amount of homework my daughter was getting was ridiculous. We were lucky that she had time to shower and eat every night. I am not sure when we would have ever had the time to supplement. We decided to H.S. for one year (and at the same time we would search for a better school for her for the following year). That was 7 years ago and she hasn't been back. Our son has never been. It is a great lifestyle for all of us.

Socialization is a HUGE problem for us. I tell my kids all the time that we really have to STOP socializing so much so we can actually get school work done. My kids have plenty of friends, activities and time to just be kids. Socializing is the least of my concerns.

Man, where is a big 'applause' smiley!!!!!

This has been my experience EXACTLY!!! I had, for a while, thought that I could supplement to meet my sons needs and address his weakness in mathmatics. WRONG!!!! When the child is 'on the PS treadmill 24/7, the last thing that I would want to do is to add to the demands and the pressures. Also, what tiny bit of free time I did have with my son after the time and effort expended to keep up with PS, I felt needed to be 'personal family time'. NOT, lets do more learning time. My time and my relationship with my son are very important to me!

And, to the part in bold above...

My son has been more busy since we began home educating. In fact, we just got back from dropping off one of DS friends after they spent an evening together.

I know that many of us have seen homeschooled children who do not seem well socialized. Some may be being homeschooled by overprotective parents. Well, my son is not one of them. My son's social behaviors, IMHO, are way better than many of his PS peers! And, as an aside, I suspect that there are many children who are being homeschooled exactly because they have delays, and disabilities, and issues that affect their social skills. (asberger's, anxiety, developmental delays, etc...)

And, yes, when kids get into Middle School and High School, you have to look at what is going on with these teenagers in many public school districts, and ask yourself, 'Is THIS really the social example that I want my child to be learning from? Is this really 'socialization'? (Drugs, Cliques, Bullying, Sexual Promiscuity, Language, etc...) For me, the clear answer is, no.

 

[tonilea]

I am not actually home schooling... yet...but DH and I are seriously considering it. I never imagined I would even seriously consider HSing, but we are very unhappy with the schools here.

 

[Tinkerbell424]

This is a great thread!
My mom and I have been discussing homeschooling I for a long time now.
I think my mom is all go for it and I am almost there. We have to finish reading the homeschooling book we bought.

My reasons for wanting to be homeschooled are because of my confidence level. It may sound silly but hey.
I have such a low confidence level that it is starting to affect me. And plus also with the stress. I have been stressed to the point where I have cried myself to sleep and stayed home the next day.

 

[Wishing on a star]

I would like to address the issue that is being discussed about the parent and the child being in a one-on-one, teacher-student, situation.

YES, I can personally identify with those out there who are questioning this, and who would be concerned about this. It is a unique dynamic.

I was very concerned about this issue as I considered home educating my son. I went to a seminar at a nearby 'umbrella' academy, and I posed these exact concerns to the administrator.

I can remember when we were first seeking an IEP for my son. One of the people who attended the IEP meeting was the school district's psychologist. When I had mentioned my sons frustrations related to school, homework, etc.. the teachers mentioned that they never seemed to see this in my son. And the psychologist made a very very telling comment. she said, "A child will be more comfortable and more able to show their frustrations with a parent than they will be in the classroom'. This, of course also applies to similar issues like 'pushing the limits', 'bucking the system', etc...

Like the one poster said, before we started home educating, I almost wondered if DS and I would end up killing each other!!!!

I am happy to report that we are both still alive!!!!

 

[sha_lyn]

know that many of us have seen homeschooled children who do not seem well socialized. Some may be being homeschooled by overprotective parents. Well, my son is not one of them. My son's social behaviors, IMHO, are way better than many of his PS peers! And, as an aside, I suspect that there are many children who are being homeschooled exactly because they have delays, and disabilities, and issues that affect their social skills. (asberger's, anxiety, developmental delays, etc...)

To expand on the above.... I think we all know public schoolers who have terrible social skills too. You never hear someone say "oh it's because they are in public school. The parents should home school him(her)".

However if it is a home-schooler that has poor social skills, people start coming out of the woodwork. "oh it's because they are home-schooled. The parent should put them in public school where they belong".

I know several kids that were either pulled out of PS to be home-schooled after a diagnosis, or were diagnosed prior to school age with a learning disability, developmental delay,autism spectrum etc.
Each one of their parents get comments from relative, neighbors etc such as "oh he wouldn't be that way if you sent him to school".