Why do "some" older people think they can do anything they want?

[Papa Deuce]

I could give lots of examples, even in my family and my wife's family, but this one just happened to me today.

I'm in a doctor's waiting room. There are about 40 chairs, 10 of which are good for watching the TV. I'm THE ONLY person watching TV, and have been for over an hour while my mom is getting treated. I'm watching Law and Order. The show has about 10 minutes to go.

From this chair I can also see who is coming in and out of the place. Well, a woman of about 70 walks in to the area where I am watching TV and asks me if I am watching the TV. I said "yes". She said " Well Celine Dion is on and I want to watch that" ( she had just come in the front door 5 minutes prior to walking over to the area I was in ).

I said "Fine, at noon, you can change the channel"

She says "She'll be over by then" and then procedes to walk over and put her hand on the cable box.

I coughed, and said, "lady, you "really" don't want to change that channel". She turned around, gave me the evil eye, gathered her stuff and walked to the other side of the room.

What is it with "SOME" old people thinking that they are entitled to do whatever the heck they want?

 

[mickeyboat]

I have a several things to say.

She was rude. But maybe it was because she is just a rude person, not just because she is old.

I don't think I would have had a problem letting her change the channel. It's only a tv show, after all.

I treat older people with the utmost respect. They have earned it as far as I am concerned. If your mother wanted to change the channel, I bet you would hope someone would let her. I hope someone would have been just as kind to my mother / grandmother.

What a great son you are for going to your mother's treatments with her.

Denae

 

[tmq2766]

Age has nothing to do with manners.... I don't care if they are 5 or 105 everyone should be repectful.... I think it was extremely rude to think she could just come in and think it is ok to change the channel....

 

[lucyblondecat]

What were you going to do to her if she had changed the channel?

 

[Papa Deuce]

I have a several things to say.

She was rude. But maybe it was because she is just a rude person, not just because she is old.

I don't think I would have had a problem letting her change the channel. It's only a tv show, after all.

I treat older people with the utmost respect. They have earned it as far as I am concerned. If your mother wanted to change the channel, I bet you would hope someone would let her. I hope someone would have been just as kind to my mother / grandmother.

What a great son you are for going to your mother's treatments with her.

Denae

I treat people with respect who GIVE respect, not just because they are old. And, if she had asked me nicely, I probably would have said she could watch it. She NEVER asked me if she could change the channel. She just asked me if I was watching the TV. And even though I said yes, she decided that it was fine to ignore that fact.


It wasn't like I wouldda kicked her behind if she had actually changed the channel. My comment was more like a stern warning that she was being quite rude.

 

[Papa Deuce]

What were you going to do to her if she had changed the channel?

LOL... I would have told her she was being rude and ignorant, but I would have let her have the channel.

Besides being rude though, Or maybe another part of being rude, was thinking that everybody would want to listen to that "human chalkboard screech" aka Celine Dion.....

 

[va32h]

Your mother's doctor's waiting room has cable? I am already too jealous to offer you any sympathy.

I do think when people get older they lose their ability to self-censor. Both my parents have said some incredibly insensitive things in public, much to my embarassment. I don't know if it's physiological, or if they just don't care how they are perceived anymore.

 

[mommaU4]

Why do "some" older people think they can do anything they want?


Probably the same reason some younger people think they can do whatever they want too. They are just rude and were never taught that the world does not revolve around them.

 

[cardaway]

You sure matched her rudeness well.

She was out of line, you were there first, but man what a harsh way to deal with somebody that much your elder, and a lady at that. You basically threatened her.

I heard something about this on the radio this morning as it turns out. They were saying that many older people, especially men, think they can get away with anything. For example, being rude towards younger women and touching them. I do agree that it is a problem, not sure if threatening them is they way to solve it though.

 

[Papa Deuce]

Why do "some" older people think they can do anything they want?


Probably the same reason some younger people think they can do whatever they want too. They are just rude and were never taught that the world does not revolve around them.

Good point. However you must have heard, at least once "I'm "x" years old and I damned well am going to do "x" if I want to"....

Like I said, it has happened in my family and my wife's family.

 

[Papa Deuce]

You sure matched her rudeness well.

She was out of line, you were there first, but man what a harsh way to deal with somebody that much your elder, and a lady at that. You basically threatened her.

I heard something about this on the radio this morning as it turns out. They were saying that many older people, especially men, think they can get away with anything. For example, being rude towards younger women and touching them. I do agree that it is a problem, not sure if threatening them is they way to solve it though.

C'mon Mike. Be real. Do you think I wouldda physically abused her? LOL.... not a chance. I mean, there would have been witnesses!

 

[Dakota_Lynn]

I do think when people get older they lose their ability to self-censor. Both my parents have said some incredibly insensitive things in public, much to my embarassment. I don't know if it's physiological, or if they just don't care how they are perceived anymore.

I have noticed this, too. It's almost like they become bolder and more willing to do and say things they wouldn't have done when they were younger. Oh, I'm sure not all people do this, but it does appear that there is a tendency to get more gutsy with your words and actions when you age.

The older people in my neighborhood (especially my 90 year old neighbors) are constantly asking people in my home about who sleeps where and if we are all lesbians (we are). Man, these older people don't even hesitate to ask some majorly personal questions, I kid you not! They are obsessed with the sexual activities that go on in my home. I have never had the experience of a younger person doing this to me. But the older folks; yes, all the time! It used to piss me off big time but now we have made a game to see how much we can shock them when they ask personal stuff about our sex lives.

It think it is important to recognize that there are many diseases that come with age that really could alter a person's perceptions and behaviors. You gotta kind of make allowances for older people when they do these things, but at the same time, you gotta find ways to keep a sense of humor about it. I know it really irked me for a long time (the personal questions). So I decided that instead of getting embarassed or mad, I would answer their questions very explicitly (it's what they want!) and watch THEM get embarrased or shocked! lol! It makes us all happy. My family gets a great laugh and they get to go home and gossip and *****.

 

[goodeats]

My own grandma kind of has the attitude that she can do whatever she wants. She comments on whatever anybody eats (Oh, goodeats you had icecream? That's very fattening!), comments on people's gaining and losing weight, uses extremely politically incorrect language at times, etc. Of course I love her and respect her, but she sure can be a witch sometimes. I'm pretty sure she hasn't always been that way. I should ask my Dad!

I think you can get to the point where you just don't care what other people think anymore. And maybe they have gained that right?

 

[cardaway]

C'mon Mike. Be real. Do you think I wouldda physically abused her? LOL.... not a chance. I mean, there would have been witnesses!

Sounds like there was witnesses and you're lucky somebody didn't say something or she didn't go to somebody about you.

I don't think you would have, but it's really all about what she thought at that point.

Based on the discussion on the radio you are far from alone in experiencing this stuff, but nobody else said they responded to them the way you did.

 

[Buckalew11]

My grandmother had that way about her. She never said "please". She'd just assume you knew she meant "please". I guess. It was worse than a child and drove us nuts. But, in general, the people who dealt with her seemed to take it in stride and very kind.

While I agree your lady was rude, I would have let her change the channel because I guess I feel like older people do deserve some special treatment.

 

[disneysteve]

I don't think it has anything to do with age. Bad manners come in all ages. Why did she bother asking if you were watching it if she wasn't going to pay any attention to your answer?

Oh, and va32h, my waiting room has cable, too. But I don't keep patients waiting long enough for them to really care. Nobody would get to see a whole episode of Law and Order, that's for sure.

 

[Beth76]

PD, I think that was awesome. Sorry, but old people don't get to be rude just because their old. No one "earns" the right to be rude. She asked if he was watching it, he replied "yes", that should have been the end of it.

And PD, I don't think this has anything to do with being old. I think she was just a rude person.

 

[laurie31]

I do think when people get older they lose their ability to self-censor.

This is exactly what happens. The part of your brain that inhibits socially unacceptable behavior can deteriorate with age. That's why some older people just say whatever comes to mind without considering if it's rude. Sort of like preschoolers do.

Obviously it doesn't happen to everyone, but it is a physiological thing, not just a psychological one. (unless the person has been rude all their life - then it's just them ) If an older loved one has a sudden change in personality, their MD should be made aware of it.

Laurie

 

[ilovepcot]

I was raised around elderly people....2 sets of grandparents and 2 sets of great grandparents all within walking distance of my home. When I became a nurse it was working with the elderly that I felt most comfortable. (Naturally!) I noticed early on that personalities of elderly seemed to "often" have one distinct thing going on....they changed *dramatically* as they aged. People who were once shy and docile became outspoken and pushy in their old age. Those who were bold in their youth became much more mellow in their old age. Families have confirmed this in the many instances I'm aware of. Text books on geriatrics mentions this as well but I don't recall if a distinct *reason* this occurs was mentioned. Anyway, it's been most interesting to observe these personality changes. (And yes, I know this doesn't happen with *every* elderly person.)

I did witness my "once shy" little 98 pound grandmother take on a big man in a store. He did something she didn't like and she marched right up to him and poked him (hard!) in the chest and fussed at him. She had to throw her little head allll the way back to see him! He was so shocked that he blinked, gulped and kept repeating "Yes mam, so sorry mam." Years before she'd NEVER have done such a thing and been horrified over someone who did. I asked her if she wasn't afraid and she replied, "What was he going to do to me right there in front of God and everybody???!!!" I don't know, maybe they feel "empowered"?

 

[bigmerle1966]

I heard something about this on the radio this morning as it turns out. They were saying that many older people, especially men, think they can get away with anything. For example, being rude towards younger women and touching them. I do agree that it is a problem, not sure if threatening them is they way to solve it though.

Wonder if that had anything to do with the MD comptroller (sp) William Donald Schaefer. He's one who thinks he can do and say what he wants.

My mother is getting like that, she likes to talk about the gross and disgusting things they see at the hospital she works at when we are having family dinners, right in the middle of everyone eating. When I tell her to stop she says, "It's not gross" then procedes to talk about puking, puss, nice non-gross stuff like that.