Why do people send their kids to school sick?

[luvmy3]

A. You MUST be a stay at home mother to even ask a thing like this, and to be to so judgemental.

B. I have been all - stay at home, work from home, and work out of the home, and let me tell you....when I stayed at home, it was an easy decision to make. It was also MUCH easier when it was only my oldest in school (he is 4 years older tha #2, and #3 is 19 months younger than #2)

C. When I was a stay at home mom: My kid had a cough that kept them up all night? They stayed home. My kid's eye was a little red? off to the Dr to rule out pinkeye. My kid threw up Sunday morning, but never had a fever and was fine the rest of the day? He stayed home Monday. You hurt your ankle at football practice last night? Why don't you stay home and put some ice on it.

D. Working outside of the home goes a little more like this: your eyes look a little pink. You were outside all day yesterday in the grass and you have allergies. your eye is not crusty or ozzing. You are going to school.

You threw up at 6am Sunday, but don't have a fever and ate dinner just fine last night? You are going to school.

Coughing? Runny nose? you are going to school.

You hurt your ankle at football? Let me call your friend's mom and see if she will drive you home after school today.

Fever? Sore thoat with white spots? No school for you - let's go to the Wellness Clinic at Target as soon as they open since the DR cannot get you in until tomorrow.

Throwing up on Tuesday morning? I'll call into work this time, DH, next time, it's your turn. Hopefully, this is only a 24-hour thing.

E. Times all of this by 3 for three kids. I am lucky that my employer gives us unlimited sick days, but I still try to NOT take advantage, and save them for when my kids really do need to stay home.

My youngest child (2nd grade) has asthma. He has been in the hospital a few times, once for three days. Each time, he caught the "virus" that caused his asthma to flare up from school because none of the rest of us were sick at all. Do I panic when I get the note home that the flu is going around my asthmatic child's classroom? Heck yeah!!! Does it make me want to post nasty things to parents on a discussion board?

Not really. I think we all need to settle down a little.

***Edited for a disclaimer: I'm not attacking stay at home parents or starting a SAHM vs. WOHM debate. All I am saying that, in my experience, it was a LOT easier to make a snap decision to keep my kid home when I was actually AT HOME. Working out of the home causes parents to really think about the options/benefits/drawbacks of every decision.

I'm a SAHM and I totally agree with you. I have been considering going back to work, but in all honesty my first thought was what the heck do I do when the kids are sick I am fortunate to be able to be home for them if I need to pick them up early, or if they just stay home. I don't know how some families do it when they can't miss work anymore.
I'm not sure the OP was meaning to come off judgmental, she just may take for granted the fact that some people do have it much easier when it comes to what to do with their sick kids.

OP, you do realize that germs are everywhere, and while keeping sick kids home from school may help, it isn't a guarantee your kids aren't going to catch the latest bug that is going around.

 

[Gracie09]

Most illnesses are spread when you are showing symptoms. Runny nose and sneezing and coughing. In the twenty four hours before you show symptoms yeah you are contagious but you are not coughing and sneezing on people or blowing your nose and opening doors etc. Basic hygiene like washing your hands and such should combat that problem. I would never say you shouldn't have kids if you can't afford it. Most of these so called people who say they can't afford to take a day off or what ever maybe have their priorities wrong. My husband and I have lived really poor and would still stay home if kids are sick. We also would not have tv or video games or cell phones. It's all in choices made. I still think if your kids are obviously sick don't send and make other kids sick.

the cdc and who disagree with you. I'll take their word for when people are contagious. If your kids are following proper hygiene then they should never get sick, right

 

[Gracie09]

Most illnesses are spread when you are showing symptoms. Runny nose and sneezing and coughing. In the twenty four hours before you show symptoms yeah you are contagious but you are not coughing and sneezing on people or blowing your nose and opening doors etc. Basic hygiene like washing your hands and such should combat that problem. I would never say you shouldn't have kids if you can't afford it. Most of these so called people who say they can't afford to take a day off or what ever maybe have their priorities wrong. My husband and I have lived really poor and would still stay home if kids are sick. We also would not have tv or video games or cell phones. It's all in choices made. I still think if your kids are obviously sick don't send and make other kids sick.

oh and I thought eating was a priority silly me.

 

[SEA333]

I'm a SAHM and I totally agree with you. I have been considering going back to work, but in all honesty my first thought was what the heck do I do when the kids are sick I am fortunate to be able to be home for them if I need to pick them up early, or if they just stay home. I don't know how some families do it when they can't miss work anymore.
I'm not sure the OP was meaning to come off judgmental, she just may take for granted the fact that some people do have it much easier when it comes to what to do with their sick kids.

OP, you do realize that germs are everywhere, and while keeping sick kids home from school may help, it isn't a guarantee your kids aren't going to catch the latest bug that is going around.

That was me, too, when my kids were very small. I was a SAHM/WAHM until my youngest was in preK (the other two were in 5th and 1st). The hardest thing for me was worrying about them getting sick. I have been back to work for three years now coming up in December, and I am SOOO lucky that the company I have landed at, and my own department manager, are so wonderful about sick days and working parents. I don't think I could do it otherwise!

 

[scrapquitler]

I absolutely hate when people send their kids to school sick. I have four kids and when they bring something home from school it takes a while for it to make it through everyone. We used to live in a different city and the school they went to there was very strict on people not sending their kids sick. If you did you would be called to pick them up. This worked awesome, my kids hardly got sick. School is not there for child care. It's there to provide an education. So for me the excuse that you couldn't take time off work or whatever doesn't fly with me. What does everyone else think?

Some school districts have draconian attendance policies where if your child misses too many days of school (even for illness) you get called in and accused of truancy. Some people who send sick children to school are trying to avoid having to deal with that.

 

[campbell95]

I'll start by saying that I am a SAHM. So work does not factor into my decisions. Our school has the following guidelines for staying home when sick:
Fever
Vomiting

Anything else? Not excused. If my children have a runny nose and a cough, I send them in. In most cases, most of the other kids in the class already have it, which is why they have it.

And with the rate that my kids get sick from other kids while in school, if I were to keep them home every time they sniffle, the make up work would be overwhelming. So, runny nose and a cough get sudaphed and mucinex and they go to school. The same way I would go to work in an office if it was just a little cold.

 

[PWammy]

A. How do you know your kid got sick at school; you could bring some germs home from the grocery store.

B. Kids get sick from adults at the schools too; not to mention a child doesn't have to show any visible symptoms of illness for someone to catch a cold or illness.

We live with germs and some folks carry germs that they have built a resistance to and others haven't. It's the world we live in; home school if that doesn't work for you. Without a serious illness, fever or vomiting, my daughter generally goes to school.

 

[jaiminee krikit]

I used to work with a woman whose daughter went to the same daycare as my daughter. On many (MANY) occasions, she would tell us that her daughter was up sick all night, but she took her to daycare anyway, then inform us that she gave her a dose of Tylenol and was waiting for the daycare to call to have her come pick up her sick child. She was well aware of the daycare's policy on keeping sick children home - they had to be fever-free for 24 hours. It drove me crazy and took everything I had to keep my mouth shut. We worked in the same department, and for as long as I worked there, no one ever got fired for staying home with their sick child.
I can see where the OP is coming from, and I know I'm not worried about kids with a runny nose. If a child is throwing up or absolutely miserably sick, they should be home in bed. I was shocked the other day when my daughter told me one of her classmates threw up in class, went to the nurse, and was sent back to the classroom (even after telling the nurse he didn't fell well). If that was my daughter, that school would definitely be getting a phone call!

 

[laughinplace199]

It's not the schools problem if you can't afford to take time off work. There are other options like you finding a sitter. Even you say you were so sick last year you are behind in learning from being sick and I know from experience that kids who go to schools that are strict about not letting kids coming to school sick get sick way less often. Like I said school is not a form of child care.

Finding a sitter for a sick child isn't easy. Who wants to care for someone else's sick child? If it's not ok to expose teachers and kids at school to a sick child, then why is it ok to expose a sitter to a sick child?

If your kids wakes up at 6:00 AM vomiting, how do you even find a sitter at that time (provided you could even find one who would want to step foot in your house)?

 

[quandrea]

Most illnesses are spread when you are showing symptoms. Runny nose and sneezing and coughing. In the twenty four hours before you show symptoms yeah you are contagious but you are not coughing and sneezing on people or blowing your nose and opening doors etc. Basic hygiene like washing your hands and such should combat that problem. I would never say you shouldn't have kids if you can't afford it. Most of these so called people who say they can't afford to take a day off or what ever maybe have their priorities wrong. My husband and I have lived really poor and would still stay home if kids are sick. We also would not have tv or video games or cell phones. It's all in choices made. I still think if your kids are obviously sick don't send and make other kids sick.

This is a reasonable comment. I do wish children with colds would stay home. For my asthmatic son, myself and my dh there is no such thing as a little cold. Every virus is a major deal with weeks of medication. Last December I went so far as to pull all three kids out of school until January just to get off the illness carousel. People send their kids in sick and it can really be a nightmare for other families. Health care professionals don masks if you are drippy or coughing. Should be a clue that coughing, drippy kids don't belong in school. Fever or not.

 

[MidwayState]

I agree with the OP. It's because we live in a completely self centered world and fact is that Johnny's mama don't care if your child gets sick because she sent Johnny to school with a fever. Johnny's mama is going to do what is most convenient for her. It's just how people are these days.

For me, I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that I don't make enough money to just sit out of work every time something comes up with a child so I decided not to have any in the first place. IMO not enough people bother to think about important things like that before having children.

Along the line of selfishness, the same thing happens to me in my salon. You wouldn't believe how many people come in sick as a dog and say, "I'm so sick but I figured it would make me feel better to get my hair done." Thanks...thanks a lot.

 

[3Gsandme]

I agree with the OP. It's because we live in a completely self centered world and fact is that Johnny's mama don't care if your child gets sick because she sent Johnny to school with a fever. Johnny's mama is going to do what is most convenient for her. It's just how people are these days.

For me, I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that I don't make enough money to just sit out of work every time something comes up with a child so I decided not to have any in the first place. IMO not enough people bother to think about important things like that before having children.

Along the line of selfishness, the same thing happens to me in my salon. You wouldn't believe how many people come in sick as a dog and say, "I'm so sick but I figured it would make me feel better to get my hair done." Thanks...thanks a lot.

You can't possibly foresee every single situation that may, in ten years, find you without sick child care. Life doesn't work like that. I've been blessed, really, to be a SAHM for 13 years with no plan to ever really go to work (though I may to fund a very expensive double vacation year coming up in 2016). It's very easy for me to keep sniffly kids home or not have to debate about whether 18 hours fever free is long enough or if I should stick to 24. It's a luxury. But I have no way of knowing that when I wake up tomorrow morning that my life will be the same as it is now. What if my dh passes away? We're well insured, but that money won't last forever with three kids that will go to college and want to get married. I'd have to go to work. Then what?

You're right that some people are absolutely self centered and just don't care if their child is unwell at school or if they make you sick, but you just can't plan for every single possible situation that may occur. I feel badly for families that have no choice but to send their little ones off to school or daycare ill.

 

[WantToGoNow]

If they don't have a fever, vomitting or diarrhea they probably don't need to stay home. If they were kept home everytime they sneezed or coughed they would never go to school (allergies and asthma for both). I actually got a call from the truancy office a couple of weeks ago - ds12 was home on brain rest following a concussion obtained during football practice - the office forgot to pass along the info.

Seriously, here in Ohio everyone seems to have a stuffy or runny nose all the time.

 

[jennylyn_b]

I was not attacking anyone but u seem to like to. It's not my fault if your kid gets sick and you can't take off work. You are responsible for your kid if you can't take a day off then you should have a back up plan. My family shouldn't have to suffer because other people irresponsibly send their kids to school sick. Kids wouldn't get sick as often if people would keep them home when sick. It's a fact. Stating a fact isn't attacking anyone.

While I understand what you are saying I could turn it on you. Why aren't your kids immune systems strong enough to not get every little thing? Isn't your house clean enough that the germs don't bounce around from one person to another? Now I'm not attacking you I'm just pointing out that there are other sides to this issue. People cannot take off from work for every sniffle. Period. They cannot. If you can then lucky you. Count your blessings. Some people don't have family or friends to help them out either. A sitter... We don't have one and have no plans of getting one either.
I was a teacher before having my dd. I never got sick except once for 3 days and I missed one day of school. That's it. Teachers are exposed too. So why didn't I get sick and your kids are always sick? Who knows?
Your post is hostile and very narrow minded IMO. You say you don't care if people can't take off work. That it's not your problem. They are just selfish. Really? They have to work to feed, clothe and keep a shelter over those kids. I'm sure most parents would love to stay home whenever their child coughs or sneezes but they cannot. No need to make them feel worse about it.
Another issue is the child. Believe it or not some kids insist on going to school even when a little sick. They don't want make up work. There is something going on at school they don't want to miss etc.

 

[Gracie09]

I agree with the OP. It's because we live in a completely self centered world and fact is that Johnny's mama don't care if your child gets sick because she sent Johnny to school with a fever. Johnny's mama is going to do what is most convenient for her. It's just how people are these days. For me, I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that I don't make enough money to just sit out of work every time something comes up with a child so I decided not to have any in the first place. IMO not enough people bother to think about important things like that before having children. Along the line of selfishness, the same thing happens to me in my salon. You wouldn't believe how many people come in sick as a dog and say, "I'm so sick but I figured it would make me feel better to get my hair done." Thanks...thanks a lot.

You're right how could I not foresee that after struggling to get pregnant I would have preeclampsia and hellp syndrome and deliver my daughter early, causing among other things crappy lungs, cp and a brain injury. That she would then go on to get RSV at five months and be hospitalized and then get every possible illness going around even when she wasn't in day care. How thoughtless and selfish of me. It lucky I was able to afford to give up my very well paying job to stay home after I exhausted all my leave paid and unpaid and my husband was told one more day and he was gone, or I might have sent her to school with an occasional cold or cough.

Life isn't cut and dry. As parents you do your best and judging other parents because they send Johnny to school with a cold is stupid. You want to help offer to be the person the school calls if a friends kid is sick. I have done that for a bunch of my working friends. I keep the kid until the parent can get there. It may be an hour it may be five (I do have a no active vomit rule because I can't do vomit). I keep the sick kid in our spare bedroom and keep my kids away. Never had an issue.

 

[brymolmom]

OP - How do you know that parents are doing this? I mean, I'm sure that some knowingly do so - but in my school my guess is that it is not the norm.

That said, I have frequently sent my kids to school sick...We just didn't realize it until later in the day...They usually just get up and get ready for school.

No way will I keep kids home for every sniffle...And it sounds like that's what you want OP - We live in Western NY and with all the snow and cold - The class will have 5% - 10% attendance in the winter if everyone kept them home with sniffles.

I'm a firm believer that kids get sick at the grocery store, friends' house or movie theater just as often as at school. And in many cases it's because the child wasn't exhibiting symptoms when the germs were spread.

Doesn't seem like something to worry about so much...And if it is a big worry - just homeschool - then you don't have any other germs to worry about but your own family's.

 

[cjbcam]

That fact is that at the school were they send kids home if they are sick (fever, or vomiting, or hacking every minute and constantly blowing their nose) not coughing a couple times or blowing their nose a couple times a day. They had way less sickness at the school and their attendance was better since they started implementing it. This is in northern Alberta, so a cold and snowy place. My kids were less sick, and yes my house is clean. When they are on summer holidays they are never sick. And yes I have accidentally sent my kids to school not knowing they were sick. I am talking about kids that are blatantly sick. I would never knowingly send my kids when they are sick and that's that I just wish other people would be as considerate. Not only would I feel bad if I knew my kids were probably the ones to make someone sick but I know it's better for my kids if they are home when they are sick.

 

[SEA333]

That fact is that at the school were they send kids home if they are sick (fever, or vomiting, or hacking every minute and constantly blowing their nose) not coughing a couple times or blowing their nose a couple times a day. They had way less sickness at the school and their attendance was better since they started implementing it. This is in northern Alberta, so a cold and snowy place. My kids were less sick, and yes my house is clean. When they are on summer holidays they are never sick. And yes I have accidentally sent my kids to school not knowing they were sick. I am talking about kids that are blatantly sick. I would never knowingly send my kids when they are sick and that's that I just wish other people would be as considerate. Not only would I feel bad if I knew my kids were probably the ones to make someone sick but I know it's better for my kids if they are home when they are sick.

Hey OP! I like that you changed your tone. This last post is much less hostile, and you seem to have realized that the issue is not as black and white as you initially sounded. Even though I was called irresponsible and uncaring about other people's children, I am going to give you the benefit of the doubt and assume that you have had a rough week with sick kids.

Hope everyone stays healthy this winter!

 

[MidwayState]

You can't possibly foresee every single situation that may, in ten years, find you without sick child care. Life doesn't work like that. I've been blessed, really, to be a SAHM for 13 years with no plan to ever really go to work (though I may to fund a very expensive double vacation year coming up in 2016). It's very easy for me to keep sniffly kids home or not have to debate about whether 18 hours fever free is long enough or if I should stick to 24. It's a luxury. But I have no way of knowing that when I wake up tomorrow morning that my life will be the same as it is now. What if my dh passes away? We're well insured, but that money won't last forever with three kids that will go to college and want to get married. I'd have to go to work. Then what?

You're right that some people are absolutely self centered and just don't care if their child is unwell at school or if they make you sick, but you just can't plan for every single possible situation that may occur. I feel badly for families that have no choice but to send their little ones off to school or daycare ill.

Well you're right about not being able to foresee the future but for me all of that stuff was high risk. I heard too many people I work with and their stories of not having childcare or childcare costing almost as much as they made in the first place and I just didn't want to get myself into something I couldn't handle. At least not for the sake of "but I want a kid". know what I mean? For me I weighed in all of the "what ifs" and scared myself off of the idea. Especially nowdays. I can't imagine trying to raise a child today.

 

[MidwayState]

You're right how could I not foresee that after struggling to get pregnant I would have preeclampsia and hellp syndrome and deliver my daughter early, causing among other things crappy lungs, cp and a brain injury. That she would then go on to get RSV at five months and be hospitalized and then get every possible illness going around even when she wasn't in day care. How thoughtless and selfish of me. It lucky I was able to afford to give up my very well paying job to stay home after I exhausted all my leave paid and unpaid and my husband was told one more day and he was gone, or I might have sent her to school with an occasional cold or cough.

Life isn't cut and dry. As parents you do your best and judging other parents because they send Johnny to school with a cold is stupid. You want to help offer to be the person the school calls if a friends kid is sick. I have done that for a bunch of my working friends. I keep the kid until the parent can get there. It may be an hour it may be five (I do have a no active vomit rule because I can't do vomit). I keep the sick kid in our spare bedroom and keep my kids away. Never had an issue.

hmmm...but, am I supposed to feel bad about the choices you chose to make? Those are things you are potentially signing up for when you have children, and that's my point. Because you've had all of these issues in your life with your child and what you can and can't do when they are sick etc, everyone else is supposed to just understand your inconsideration when you send a sick child to school to possibly put their family in the same boat with you? I'm sorry but with all due respect, I still can't agree with you here.