Why do people say stay strong?

[shinysparklybubbles]

Maybe I'm missing something here, but why do people say stay strong when someone passes?

 

[Kellydelly]

Because if you aren't "staying strong" you'd be doing the opposite: falling apart ?

 

[DisneyFan32WI]

Because it is easy to break-down emotionally during the whole grieving process. It is easy to forget to take care of yourself (eating, showering, sleeping, etc)

There is also so much work that needs to be done (planning the funeral arrangements, calling friends and relatives, other expenses, etc). It is like you are a broken record with everything that you need to repeat to everyone.

It is such an emotionally draining time. I did the stupidest things right after my dad died like mailing out a bill without the check, starting the washer without putting laundry detergent in, forgetting appointments, etc. Sometimes you just break down and cry for absolutely no reason at all. I wish I could've been strong through it all, but I was so very weak. It is so overwhelming.

 

[Nancyg56]

Because after the wake, after the funeral after everyone goes home............you still have got to get through all of the "stuff" and that is when the pain really can hit home. You have to get through it..you have to stay strong. ANd if you have a family then you cannot fall apart or it will ripple down to them.

 

[topolino]

Because it beats the alternative.

 

[Katie Dawn]

It is hard for me to imagine someone who has lost a loved saying this to another person who is grieving. I could imagine them saying "Take care of yourself" (as in, making sure you eat, shower, etc) but not "stay strong." Another DISer may come here and tell you that they in fact have experienced grief themselves and have said this to other people before, but in my view the grieving process is one that leaves most very vulnerable and it's not feasible or possible (or perhaps even healthy) to "stay strong" in the beginning.

 

[shinysparklybubbles]

It is hard for me to imagine someone who has lost a loved saying this to another person who is grieving. I could imagine them saying "Take care of yourself" (as in, making sure you eat, shower, etc) but not "stay strong." Another DISer may come here and tell you that they in fact have experienced grief themselves and have said this to other people before, but in my view the grieving process is one that leaves most very vulnerable and it's not feasible or possible (or possibly even healthy) to "stay strong" in the beginning.

That was what I was thinking. It just seems like you need a chance to be weak before you can build yourself back up to being "strong".

 

[low-key]

Everyone's gotta to do what they gotta to do to get by

 

[Feralpeg]

Because most people have no idea what to say to a person who has suffered a terrible loss. No matter what they say, it won't be enough.

 

[Art 1]

I think you know.

 

[FredinFL]

Because if you let it all fly apart, you'll never get it back together. They are trying to be supportive and, in a way, telling you that you CAN get thru this, even if you really, really, really, really, really, don't want to at that time.

Also, the first week or so, you are kind of in shock. After the death, the wake, the funeral...THEN comes the blow to the head, the heart, the soul. Yup, it royally sucks and if you let it, it will kill you dead one way or the other.

 

[Robinrs]

I think it's self explanatory.. have you ever lost anyone? Do you know how easy it is to fall apart but how hard it is to be STRONG? The grieving process takes many dips and ebbs but staying strong takes perseverance.

 

[shortbun]

I think people say all kinds of worthless, dumb things because they have no idea what is in your head. That's why I say very little to someone who's suffered a huge loss. I had totally different emotional reactions when each of my parents died so how in the hale am I going to understand how someone other than me is feeling.

 

[FredinFL]

Wow. So much hurt. People are just trying to help. They don't know what to say. Those of us who have been there may be of more help, but others are just trying to help. I know it's hard, but please, keep that in mind.