Why do people insist on...

[mom2boys]

I like to feel like I'm contributing. However, if I am flat out told not to bring something, I won't. My SisterInLaw is notorious for bringing tons of food to a gathering. I am talking at least 4 extra dishes that the hostesses isn't expecting. The last time she was here for Christmas breakfast, she showed up an hour late with her usual extra dishes AND I had to heat her chipped beef because it was straight from the fridge - she lives 5 minutes away!

 

[Duckfan-in-Chicago]

My idiot brother showed up to a pizza party with a big bowl of chocolate pudding when he wasn't supposed to bring anything. Pudding doesn't go with pizza! Sure they both start with p's but that wasn't our theme. Anyway I took the pudding from him and told him he had to leave. It was a disaster. Everyone wanted pudding, and nobody ate the pizza! I can totally see the OP's point.

 

[mickeyboat]

My idiot brother showed up to a pizza party with a big bowl of chocolate pudding when he wasn't supposed to bring anything. Pudding doesn't go with pizza! Sure they both start with p's but that wasn't our theme. Anyway I took the pudding from him and told him he had to leave. It was a disaster. Everyone wanted pudding, and nobody ate the pizza! I can totally see the OP's point.

You are too funny!

Denae

 

[lillygator]

My family must be weird. When invited to a party or dinner, we always ask "Can we bring something?". If the answer is "no", which sometimes it is, we honor that wish and bring nothing (although usually we'll bring a hostess gift). If the answer is yes, and no foods are assigned, we ask "What do you need/what would you like?" If then given a suggestion, we bring that. If not given a suggestion, then and only then do we wing it and bring what we want.

We don't get uptight or upset about it. But then we are pretty laid back about most things in life, anyway.

When we are invited somewhere this is us as well.............AND I just simply posted a vent about my MIL people!

 

[Disney Doll]

disneymom 3,
Yep, into the freezer it would go, w/ wide eyes and a "thank-you for the gift, we'll enjoy it so much later". I was telling my sister about this thread...the first thing she said was "I'd cover it up with foil and put it in the freezer". There are quite a few issues that my sister and I hashed over...waste...I HATE wasting food and I can tell you that if those scalloped potatoes weren't frozen they would be wasted. Calories...don't do my any favors, please don't bring me any unasked for pies...sis and I were cracking up over that one too...I'm at my ideal weight, my sister is very close to hers...I spend lots of time and effort keeping it that way, and one of the things that works best is to eat only what I really want...now if I'm invited to your house for dinner I'm going to eat what you serve, and you'll never guess that it isn't my favorite thing in the world...I didn't even send my dad fruit cake or peanut brittle this year because I know he is dieting and so I asked him...he said please don't. I don't take anything to my sister's house w/o asking...I told her I was making tamales this morning and she hinted around that she wanted some...so when I talked to her later I offered to give her half when I see her tomorrow...she was thrilled. And for those of you that do holiday potlucks...fine...we don't do it that way...when my sister and I collaborate we decide what the meal will be, then what each is responsible for buying and cooking.

And no, much as I like scalloped potatoes they don't go with everything...not the tacos my sister is fixing tomorrow night, and not the game hens, wild rice stuffing w/ sausage and mushrooms, cauliflower cheddar gratin with horseradish crumbs, green salad, rolls, and cranberry orange relish I served last night.

Wow!!! You guys have some amazing control over your lives!!!!!

 

[Lanshark]

Wow! Not since the days of the old Debate Board would I ever have thought that scalloped potatoes could have gotten seven pages worth of responses.

 

[Nancy]

I finally convinced my MIL (after 20 years) to NOT bring food over for Christmas dinner. She is always late, I have my menu and I don't need or want the extra food....plus "she is always late!" (I know I said it twice). We are usually already eating when she shows up with half a meal that no one wants anymore. I'm so glad she finally listened...this years dinner was at 5:30...she came at almost 7:30. Good thing I wasn't counting on her bringing a dish! I go through a lot of time, planning and expense for my parties, if I want something brought over I will tell you when I am asked. She complains to DH how I let my Mom bring stuff over....ummm...no I don't, she also offers and I say no.

 

[Nagle]

I'm a rebel and sometimes I have both pumpkin and pecan pie on the same plate.

How dare you ruin the thought of delicious, heavenly, loving pecan pie by placing it beside foul, vile, sneaky, not to be trusted pumpkin pie. Though they both start with the letter P, we all know that one of them is a bannable offense. (Pizza-Pudding)

 

[suzannen]

I once heard etiquette maven Letitia Baldridge speak on this subject before and her answers have stuck with me. She felt unless a dinner is a potluck buffet or that you have specifically discussed with the host/hostess an item that they would like for you to prepare, you should never just show up with food expecting it to be served at the meal. She feels that most hosts/hostesses have put time and effort into their menu and that should be respected. (Although, remember she's used to State Dinners at the White House, so probably more formal than most of us). She agrees you should never come empty handed, but her recommendations for gifts were things like cute kitchen towels, candles, chocolates, and wine. The thing that stuck with me the most was her recommendation that if you want to give flowers, please give them already done up in a vase. To hand a hostess a bouquet of flowers when she's trying to greet her guests, is ackward because the hostess then has to leave her guests, find a vase, cut and arrange the flowers. As someone who has had to scramble searching for an unused vase while guests streamed in, I thought that was a great suggestion and I've followed it.

Meanwhile, I can understand the OP's frustration as my MIL does stuff like that to me all the time. She brought a cooked brisket along with her the first time I cooked Thanksgiving Dinner. I did put the brisket beside my turkey, but I was upset. I felt like she was saying she didn't believe I could actually cook a turkey well enough and that she'd save the day (once again). Luckily, the turkey was great and almost no one touched the brisket. I happily tucked it in my fridge, said my thanks, and used it a day or two later when I was too tired of the cooking. If she expected me to give it back to her - that wasn't going to happen!!

 

[Obi-Wan Pinobi]

game hens, wild rice stuffing w/ sausage and mushrooms, cauliflower cheddar gratin with horseradish crumbs, green salad, rolls, and cranberry orange relish I served last night.

Okay, the first time I read this the only thing I could think about was those Lean Cuisine commercials. You know the ones where the women are sitting around talking about what they ate the day before. "I ate a pan of Scalloped Potatoes", "I ate a Pecan Pie" then the one at the end comes out with some fancy schmancy gourmet sounding meal and pauses.. then says "it was Lean Cuisine"

 

[IMGONNABE40!]

My idiot brother showed up to a pizza party with a big bowl of chocolate pudding when he wasn't supposed to bring anything. Pudding doesn't go with pizza! Sure they both start with p's but that wasn't our theme. Anyway I took the pudding from him and told him he had to leave. It was a disaster. Everyone wanted pudding, and nobody ate the pizza! I can totally see the OP's point.

You kicked him out over a bowl of pudding?! Wow! Maybe he meant it for dessert? I just don't understand how a bowl of pudding can spell disaster for a pizza party.

 

[disneymom3]

I thought of this thread when FIL called on the morning of Christmas eve to see if there was anything he could bring to dinner that night. I had everything of course, but I also knew he was doing this out of a loving desire to contribute. I tried, "nope we don't need a thing. The kids are just so excited to see you." Didn't work. He offerred dessert but we had a specific one planned. So he offerred egg nog and root beer. Great! We already have some in the fridge, but WHO CARES? So there will be more in the fridge after dinner. He wanted to contribute because he loves us. Why hurt his feelings?

 

[Cantw8]

You kicked him out over a bowl of pudding?! Wow! Maybe he meant it for dessert? I just don't understand how a bowl of pudding can spell disaster for a pizza party.

Holy crap. I totally agree. I have no respect for someone who would so blantantly disregard their brother's love of pudding Duckfan, if that truly is your name, you should be ashamed of yourself I know Bill Cosby is

 

[LindsayDunn228]

You kicked him out over a bowl of pudding?! Wow! Maybe he meant it for dessert? I just don't understand how a bowl of pudding can spell disaster for a pizza party.

For real. It's chocolate, it's dessert, what is the problem??

 

[Aimeedyan]

For real. It's chocolate, it's dessert, what is the problem??

This is the funniest thread I have read in a long time... you don't think she was being serious, do you?

Carry on... I'm enjoying the Great Scalloped Potato Debate of 2005.

 

[LindsayDunn228]

She gave no indication she was kidding and there have been some pretty off-the-wall responses on this thread so I took it seriously.

 

[Aimeedyan]

She gave no indication she was kidding and there have been some pretty off-the-wall responses on this thread so I took it seriously.

You are right - there are some strange responses on here that I was expecting to be a joke and they weren't! Sorry if I came across rudely, I really didn't intend to. The whole thread is just so silly!

 

[jenm2878]

Can I add something? I am a vegetarian and a picky eater in general. I don't eat fried foods either. My in-laws fry everything, and chances are that the entire meal has either all been alive at some point or has been cooked into a pile of undistinguishable mush. If we didn't "contribute," I would never eat over there. I think it's less rude for us to bring a dish and have me eat a small portion of their food and what I brought then to not eat at all. My inlaws could care less that we do this - they like the way I cook and generally will dig right in.

 

[yeartolate]

Wow! Not since the days of the old Debate Board would I ever have thought that scalloped potatoes could have gotten seven pages worth of responses.

The tubers of the old debate board were at the root of the evil.

 

[Cantw8]

Here's a debate for you. What is the difference between scalloped potatoes and Au Gratin? Aren't they both spuds in cheese sauce?