Why do people insist on...

[lillygator]

bringing "something" when you tell them not to?

DH tells me last night that his mom is bringing scalloped potatoes.....FIRST of all that won't really "go" with what we are serving and secondly I said not to bring anything!! I had him call her and they talked and she still felt she HAD to bring something so I told her to get a cheesecake sampler.......


but why do people do this?

 

[stinkerbelle]

but why do people do this?

human nature. I was raised not to show up emptied handed.

don't look a gift horse in the mouth...smile, nod, and serve the potatoes.

 

[Christine]

I don't know but my MIL is the same way.

She is coming over for Christmas Day and spending the night. We all have tickets to Wicked that were purchased back in October (we did not get tickets for the in-laws as we had no idea they would be visiting). Anyway, I told MIL that we were not having a Christmas dinner that day. We were having our "big" meal on Christmas eve. But, my mom was making a pan of lasagna that we would eat about 3:00 p.m. I didn't want to eat much because I don't want to be sitting in The Kennedy Center stuffed to the gills with food and have to pee all night. Well, my MIL cannot get it through her head that WE ARE NOT HAVING DINNER and I want nothing. She is bringing apple pie, brownies, and possibly antipasto (which I hate). Can't she just show up?

 

[Rhonda922]

I was always taught by my mom that you don't show up empty-handed when going to someone's house for dinner or a special occasion. I would always bring a little something even if it were just a floral arrangement for the table. I would feel funny just coming to eat and not contributing at all.

 

[lillygator]

I am just not a fan of food from other people's homes....if that makes sense....if she doesn't want to show up empty handed a bottle of wine would do it ! Or something that isn't expected to be served....then I have to worry about cleaning the dish - getting it back to the person....

 

[KarenAylwood]

I was always taught by my mom that you don't show up empty-handed when going to someone's house for dinner or a special occasion. I would always bring a little something even if it were just a floral arrangement for the table. I would feel funny just coming to eat and not contributing at all.

Ditto that.

 

[lillygator]

I can understand being "taught not to show up empty handed" but even when the host/hostess STRESSES to bring NOTHING?

 

[Christine]

I am just not a fan of food from other people's homes....if that makes sense....if she doesn't want to show up empty handed a bottle of wine would do it ! Or something that isn't expected to be served....then I have to worry about cleaning the dish - getting it back to the person....

I kind of agree with you, although it's not really an issue of food from other homes. I feel that if someone has invited you to dinner, then they have PLANNED a specific menu. Unless the host asks me for a meal/food item, I would only bring wine, flowers, a food "gift", but not part of the meal. I swear it is a "power play" on the part of MILs!

 

[stinkerbelle]

I am just not a fan of food from other people's homes....if that makes sense....

I totally know what you are saying...which is why I steer clear of the "snack table" here at work.

besides - the sick guy keeps going over to it...BLECH

YOU don't have to eat it...but still serve it with a smile.

 

[lillygator]

I swear it is a "power play" on the part of MILs!

That must be it!

 

[Crankyshank]

Because it's good manners to bring a gift for the hostess. Yes even if they insist to not bring anything. I always offer to bring something and if I'm told to not bring anything, I will bring wine for the hostess or flowers.

 

[Wishing on a star]

They do this because they want to share! They want to bring something that they are accustomed to eating.

They want to bring something that they know they know how to prepare, that they know is good, and that they want others to enjoy.

They want to help!


First of all... different people have different tastes. Second of all, some people have to be carefull about eating different foods. Believe me, on those two counts alone, I could STARVE at my MIL's on what she prepares. LOL!!!!

Secondly, potatoes go with almost everything! Except maybe something like Italian. And, let's say that you are serving Italian, pasta, etc.. Does your MIL enjoy Italian, or whatever it is you are serving?

I am sorry, but it seems a little selfish and childish to be making a big deal about some scalloped potatos???

Guess what, I am in the very OPPOSIT situation. DH just volunteered me to prepare and to bring the whole entire meal to MIL and FIL's.!!!!

Then, of course I have to cook a couple things for my family...

Why is Christmas sounding less and less fun, and more like a nightmare every single minute.... sigh...

 

[Christine]

Because it's good manners to bring a gift for the hostess. Yes even if they insist to not bring anything. I always offer to bring something and if I'm told to not bring anything, I will bring wine for the hostess or flowers.

Hmmmm...a gift of scalloped potatoes??

 

[NMAmy]

Because they're trying to be helpful and nice.

I know that I was raised with the notion that you never go to someone's house emptyhanded. I can't help myself. I always ask if I can bring something and if I'm told no, I try to bring something the hostess can use later anyway.

Not to be Pollyanna-ish-- but I'd just accept your MIL's offering and serve up scalloped potatoes along with everything else. It's Christmas and she probably just wants to help.

 

[tjmw2727]

I was also taught not to show up empty handed. I will always offer to bring something that is needed, it helps if the host/hostess can be honest and let me help. With family, I try and bring dessert to my sil's who dosen't love to bake, my sister is an AWESOME cook so I will bring appetizer. My last resort would be a nice bottle of wine if I know the menu and can match it or something for the host/hostess to be saved for later.

Since you know your MIL likes to bring something, I would try and honor her need and ask for something that will make your life easier. That is after all what we are trying to do by brining something. Suggest something she makes that you all like that goes with dinner or as you have done, let her bring dessert.

I suggest you just try be gracious and accept the offer. Then you can snicker when you read a post from someone complaining that company always shows up empty handed!!

TJ

 

[Crankyshank]

Hmmmm...a gift of scalloped potatoes??

Well in my Grandmother's case it would be about 10lbs worth of eggplant parm or lasagna, but to each his own I prefer gifts of booze myself

 

[Tinijocaro]

Because some people are raised that it is rude to show up empty-handed. That's how I was raised, and yes, I always bring something.

Jackie

 

[Wishing on a star]

Ohhhh good Lord,

Scalloped potatoes are a power play!!! ?????????

Grow up people....

 

[Wishing on a star]

Just adding,

Maybe some of you have seen some of my posts about my inlaws.

Believe me, they are self-righteous control freaks.

You know, if a pan of scalloped potatos were all all I had to complain about, I would be jumping for joy!!!

 

[Lisa F]

Send these power hungry MILs my way. I'd love a nice pan of scalloped potatoes or some lasagna. Heck, I'd even eat them together. I'm not such a control freak about my food that I wil flip out if someone brings something that doesn't "go."