Why do parents do this

[xipetotec]

But we also made an effort to not be the annoying kids who tells others in school that Santa isn't real. It was just not polite.

on that note, I remember being at what was then MGM, and we had an aunt and her kids travelling with us. It was actually a really cold Florida February day and we were waiting in line for Meeko when she exclaims "It's so cold, I wish I had HIS costume on right now", to which the handler just answered "What costume??? " and she just laughed... I just imagine some of the smaller kids around ...

 

[mm1971]

Why would you tell your 4and6 year old that it is a waste to see the characters, that they are just people dressed up and not to bother. Story I witnessed a parent do this a few years ago and gave not gotten over it.

I'm guessing it's because the parents had other things they wanted to do and didn't feel like waiting in lines. There are people in the world that out their own wants and needs in front of others, including their children.

My kids figured it out early. My DS is very factual and matter of fact. Most things are black and white. He still enjoyed seeing some of the characters (loves goofy interactions for obvious reasons) and DD likes Minnie and the princesses. I really don't think the issue is real vs. fake, more on whether or not you find meeting the characters a fun experience. We still do a few, but not as many as when they were younger.

 

[MrsJ Henry]

I believe in taking the lead FROM my daughter.... I don't want to crush her magic or her dreams so when she is ready to ask the questions.. I will answer.
But in our family we will always believe in fairytales, magic, happiness and Santa Clause.... And the Magic of Disney!!!

 

[SunkistJoy]

That is kinda what I was thinking



No she did not do do this she was at her house I was just visiting

Sorry, quote is out of context. But the above was said in response to someone stating that either OP might have been eavesdropping, or that the parent might have shouted this where everyone could hear. (post #33)

If I'm understanding this right, and all this took place in the family's home, then the parent may have been trying to explain why they didn't take time to meet characters when at DW. Or why they weren't going to when they make a future trip. Or why it wasn't that important that some other child got to go when this family couldn't afford it. Or perhaps the parent had a really bad day and was overly snappy.

At least no other children would overhear (unless OP was a child at the time). To me this is a totally different dynamic. Still no reason to crush hopes and dreams, if that is what was actually happening.

 

[tinkerbellandeeyor]

Sorry, quote is out of context. But the above was said in response to someone stating that either OP might have been eavesdropping, or that the parent might have shouted this where everyone could hear. (post #33)

If I'm understanding this right, and all this took place in the family's home, then the parent may have been trying to explain why they didn't take time to meet characters when at DW. Or why they weren't going to when they make a future trip. Or why it wasn't that important that some other child got to go when this family couldn't afford it. Or perhaps the parent had a really bad day and was overly snappy.

At least no other children would overhear (unless OP was a child at the time). To me this is a totally different dynamic. Still no reason to crush hopes and dreams, if that is what was actually happening.

No we were planing on going together and she said it I in the house as we were planing it

 

[aprilchem]

I find this thread very interesting - my kids are 3,5, and 7 and I don't think they ever thought the dressed-up characters were real. We've always told them they were people dressed in costumes. Same with mall Santas and Easter Bunnies.

 

[Mrs.Malone]

I find this thread very interesting - my kids are 3,5, and 7 and I don't think they ever thought the dressed-up characters were real. We've always told them they were people dressed in costumes. Same with mall Santas and Easter Bunnies.

MTE and all my kids adore Disney parks wholeheartedly (even my slightly grouchy tweens!). They never thought the characters were real. The Disney magic is still much alive in their hearts and mine.

 

[GadgetTheInventor]

So I grew up near a theme park where many parents, older siblings, and eventually friends worked, worked myself as a costumed character in college, and still do stints as non-theme park educational characters every now and then (I probably have the only 5 ft. tall trilobite costume in the world). I survived untraumatized and it turns out that character work is a very nice skill to have.

I don't remember myself or my friends ever believing that the costumed characters were real even though we saw cartoon versions of them on TV all the time. Neither was there a very high level of belief in Santa, the EB, or the TF because adults just didn't see the point of lying when the truth was so obvious to most of us. We didn't suffer too much though and still loved the magic of costumed characters and themed rides. Theme parks can still be wonderful places without 100% of the magic being real. I knew WAY too much about the inner workings of a theme park at too young of an age due to overhearing comments at dinner and play dates, but I had just as much fun as a kid visiting from out of town. It was just a slightly different reality for us and we knew we weren't being lied to. We also learned to keep the magic alive for believers, just as the adults did who worked at the park.

The only time I encountered a traumatized child was on St. Patrick's day at a Catholic school where I worked. The kindergarteners were going on about how leprechauns had left presents for them while they were away from their classroom and one of my second graders was screaming that they were lying and that leprechauns weren't real. I came to discover that the second graders had made a booklet where it clearly stated that leprechauns were mythical creatures of Irish folklore. THAT was a long conversation I wasn't planning on having that day. Lying to kids can backfire and create trust issues for a very long time for some kids.

I doubt those kids at the park that day were traumatized because their parents are probably normally like that and it is obvious at second glance that the characters aren't real. And not waiting in line for autographs let the kids have more time for rides that they would enjoy just as much.

Yeah, the kids are alright...

 

[tinkerbellandeeyor]

So I grew up near a theme park where many parents, older siblings, and eventually friends worked, worked myself as a costumed character in college, and still do stints as non-theme park educational characters every now and then (I probably have the only 5 ft. tall trilobite costume in the world). I survived untraumatized and it turns out that character work is a very nice skill to have.

I don't remember myself or my friends ever believing that the costumed characters were real even though we saw cartoon versions of them on TV all the time. Neither was there a very high level of belief in Santa, the EB, or the TF because adults just didn't see the point of lying when the truth was so obvious to most of us. We didn't suffer too much though and still loved the magic of costumed characters and themed rides. Theme parks can still be wonderful places without 100% of the magic being real. I knew WAY too much about the inner workings of a theme park at too young of an age due to overhearing comments at dinner and play dates, but I had just as much fun as a kid visiting from out of town. It was just a slightly different reality for us and we knew we weren't being lied to. We also learned to keep the magic alive for believers, just as the adults did who worked at the park.

The only time I encountered a traumatized child was on St. Patrick's day at a Catholic school where I worked. The kindergarteners were going on about how leprechauns had left presents for them while they were away from their classroom and one of my second graders was screaming that they were lying and that leprechauns weren't real. I came to discover that the second graders had made a booklet where it clearly stated that leprechauns were mythical creatures of Irish folklore. THAT was a long conversation I wasn't planning on having that day. Lying to kids can backfire and create trust issues for a very long time for some kids.

I doubt those kids at the park that day were traumatized because their parents are probably normally like that and it is obvious at second glance that the characters aren't real. And not waiting in line for autographs let the kids have more time for rides that they would enjoy just as much.

Yeah, the kids are alright...

I can see your point but when I was little my mom told me all was real latter I found out the truth and I trust her now if that makes sense she was trying to keep my childhood pure.

 

[Minnesota!]

I never led my kids to believe they were real. My older son was deathly afraid of them so I told him it was just a mom or a dad in a costume. He was no longer afraid of them. I am sure he notified younger son at some point - cuz younger son has never believed they were real. Doesn't decrease the joy they have when they see them.

Yes, they believe in Santa, EB, TF, etc. Just have always been too realistic to believe there is a 5 foot mouse running around in Florida, ha ha!

 

[DznyGal]

I was on the WDW College program back in 2000 and I remember a story where a Gaston shaped/attitude man walked up to a cast member friend of mine and asked where he could find the people dressed as bears. (she worked in Adventure Land at MK) thinking she knew he meant the Country Bear Jamboree she said "I don't know what you are talking about, we do not have people dressed as bears anywhere in the park, but if you want to meet the Country Bears they are currently performing in their theater" She then pointed him in the right direction. He then was confused and kept insisting they were people in costumes and she kept correcting him. He finally got it and kind of stormed off. She was so happy with herself for keeping it all together since he was a big guy and kind of imtimidating.

 

[Lady V]

Growing up I was told from the start that there was no Santa. I would have enjoyed believing in him I think. With my kids we do Santa and everyone else and I have enjoyed every moment of the childhood innocence and pure joy that has come with it!!

As far as people ruining it for other peoples kids....that kills me. That's just cruel. When I was little and my mom told me there was no Santa she also told me that many kids do believe and NOT to ruin it for them because if their parents decided to do Santa that it was their decision.

 

[honeybunches]

Just want to point out that my DD learned there was no tooth fairy while she was at Disney....while watching the Disney Channel!! She lost a tooth the week before and refused to put it under her pillow; she wanted to save it for the Disney trip because she thought the Tooth Fairy might be more generous while at WDW. LOL such an entrepreneur. When we arrived, we were in the hotel room watching TV and getting ready to head to the parks when on the show (not sure what it was...maybe Good Luck CHarlie?) they said something offhand about "Yeah right, and the tooth fairy isn't really your mom." I froze--and DD looked over at me very slowly and said, "Is that true?!" She was 8 so I just told her the truth and also that she's now the keeper of the secret...... she was excited because she got her cash earlier instead of waiting until the morning.

 

[sss]

For me the bottom line is this...whether or not your kids believe (like lots of others, my kids figured it out pretty early) that just seems something said in anger and downright MEAN. Who needs their own parents to rain on their parades? All my kids (ages 11, 11, and 8) know what the deal is and I still won't address it, LOL. That said, my youngest still loves meeting characters. Frustrating sometimes, yes but I remind myself they have long adulthoods ahead of them, why take this time away from them?

 

[mmdisneylover]

Why would you tell your 4and6 year old that it is a waste to see the characters, that they are just people dressed up and not to bother. Story I witnessed a parent do this a few years ago and gave not gotten over it.

I told my youngest kid because he was afraid of the big faced characters say Mickey but not as much Chip and Dale. We told him they were just ordinary people dressed up in costumes so he wouldn't be afraid of them. For him he was I think then 3 1/2 and once we told him he was a little better but still didn't like the big faced ones. He could do Tink and Peter and the ones he could tell were real people. No I would ruin the magic but so he would get the experience of the characters we told him

 

[tinkerbellandeeyor]

Thanks everyone

 

[smallblackstars]

My DD (3 and a half) has already said that Mickey, Minnie, Donald, Daisy etc are just people in costumes, I have tried to tell her they are real but she is still not 100% convinced. She keeps saying the ones in the cartoons are real but not the ones you can meet, I am convinced one of the older children in her nursery class told her this as he was also running about telling the other kids Santa wasn't real (that made for a fun Christmas last year, spending everyday convincing her he was real! Luckily nice presents from Santa sorted that right out!). The princesses, now that's another story, they are as real as real can be in her eyes! I can't understand parents telling kids that they aren't real at all. I'm desperately trying to convince her they are real so our trip will be super magical for her. I'm pretty certain that when she meets Mickey and co again all ideas of them not being real will be totally forgotten but I still feel a little sad that she doesn't believe it at the moment.

 

[SEA333]

I find this thread very interesting - my kids are 3,5, and 7 and I don't think they ever thought the dressed-up characters were real. We've always told them they were people dressed in costumes. Same with mall Santas and Easter Bunnies.

Right!!!! I totally agree! I don't ever remembering translating "cartoon people" and costumed people into reality - ever. I'm pretty sure my kids never did either. It was pretty much just assumed that if it was a cartoon, it wasn't real, and if a cartoon character was 6 feet tall with a head bigger than a beach ball, it wasn't real anyway.

To the PP's claiming this - How are parents ruining the magic by not pretending these people are real? To me, it's kind of like meeting a movie star - sure he played Peter Parker in Spiderman, but he isn't REALLY Peter Parker, or Spiderman, all the time. There is a reason why little kids are scared of 6 foot tall characters that look like Mickey Mouse and Handy Manny - because they are supposed to be cute and sweet and LITTLE, like they are on TV!!! Not 6 feet tall, unable to talk, and have weird creepy eyes that don't move or blink! Now, don't get me wrong - I do appreciate the attempt/opportunity for a good photo op, but I'm not sure Disney, or anyone else for that matter, really ever *expected* kids to believe they were truly real. (money-making schemes aside...)

After reading this whole thread, I just don't get the debate that is is ruining the magic or a parent is not doing their job of being responsible for their child's childhood. Last time I checked, the responsibility of a parent was to raise a human being that will one day be able to meaningfully contribute to society. I may have missed this part, but I don't remember perpetuating the lie that gigantic mice and cartoon children are "real" on that list of responsibilities!

 

[Jessica14]

I believe in taking the lead FROM my daughter.... I don't want to crush her magic or her dreams so when she is ready to ask the questions.. I will answer.
But in our family we will always believe in fairytales, magic, happiness and Santa Clause.... And the Magic of Disney!!!

I love this! My DS is 8 and stopped believing in everything this year. He was crushed for awhile but ad long as he gets presents on Christmas, candy on Easter, money for a tooth, and a hug from Mickey, he's happy!

I also wanted to add that I find it troubling that some have decided that a belief past some random age is somehow a "developmental issue." My DS difficulty with reading and writing us a developmental issue, not whether or not he thought that there was some magic that made Pooh real.