Why do parents do this

[Hayliesmom]

My daughter realizes that the characters are people in costumes, but in a way she also believes that those people "become" the character. She is 7 now but 6 when we went. She collected as many autographs as possible and LOVED meeting them but she also says she wants to be Snow White at Disney World when she grows up. To me its a combination of fantasy and being realistic.

She still believes in Santa, the tooth fairy, and the easter bunny

 

[Allison]

Here is the original post (some punctuation added to reflect how I read it):

(bold is mine)

What did I add in my understanding of the OP's story? ... I added that it was a father who did this to his children instead of a generic "parent". I don't know why I assumed it was a father she witnessed doing this a few years ago. Maybe because I am a father myself and made this issue personal.

I'm not sure how attaching gender to the OP's recollection makes my consideration of it any less relevant.

You assigned a father to the story and what his motives were which you have no real idea about. You gave facts to the story that aren't facts but are your interpretation.

 

[Aliceacc]

I've done it, though not where anyone but my family could hear.

None of my kids has ever liked characters in costume. That's right. My husband, who works part time as a photographer has not ONE picture of ANY of the three kids with Santa or the Easter Bunny. Our first trip to WDW started with ear shattering screams of "YOU CAN'T MAKE ME GO IN THERE!!!!" after one of our kids realized that there would be pictures with Mickey. (Yeah, I know... what on earth was I thinking booking Chef Mickey's that first time?????)

My kids have always known that the Santa and Easter Bunny in the malls are not the "real" Santa and Easter Bunny. And, at Disney, they've almost always known that those characters are just regular people in costumes.

Of course, I would never say so in public, where it could ruin someone else's experience. And my kids have always known better than to utter it where anyone but our family could hear.

They still get a kick out of the characters, but the knowledge helped.

 

[rainboots]

My 6yo DD told me she doesn't want to meet Cinderella because it looks like she is wearing a wig. I couldn't come up with an intelligent response that would keep her believing. I hope I didn't ruin it for her, but at the same time, she is a smart girl, she probably didn't buy it anyhow. I hate being blindsided with things like this before the thought ever entered my mind!

 

[MSSANDRA]

There are a lot of people that have very strong feelings about their children not interacting with characters including WDW ones, store Santa etc. While it is unfair to express their feelings in front of other kids, they do have the right to avoid and shield their children from these situations. One blog I follow was speaking of the Mall Santa they had visited for years with their large family. It was finally discovered that the Santa was not a very nice man and was arrested for Pornography of children. It made them, as it would anyone, sick to their stomach to think of their children on his lap. Some parents do not want characters touching and interacting with their kids. This is ok.

Neither of my boys ever believed the characters, Tooth Fairy or Bunny was real, though Santa did have a very short time of glory. Everything but Santa they just never had ANY believe in and the Santa story we let them believe until they asked straight out. Little one was like 5, older was was older but admitted he had it figured out by five.

Thing is they both LOVED all the characters at WDW. I HATE character lines so we do the meals, plus hunt down the one or two other characters that they really want to see (like Buzz) and try to time it so we see him with little wait. They know not to tell other kids the truth (but the little one has questioned how in the world they have not figured that out yet)

BTW-Santa, Bunny and T Fairy do come to our house.....they were and are just in on the truth!

 

[xipetotec]

Why would you tell your 4and6 year old that it is a waste to see the characters, that they are just people dressed up and not to bother. Story I witnessed a parent do this a few years ago and gave not gotten over it.

Several years ( and trips ) ago, we were in the MK and heard a little boy excitedly exclaim "Look mummy! It's Tigger!" to which she responded ANGRILY "It's just a guy in a SUIT" and pulled him along....

To this day, we still "laugh" about this at our house. And by "laugh" I mean we sort of uncomfortably recall this and chuckle awkwardly. Talk about crushing dreams.

 

[Chabby]

Really? At 4 & 6 years old they knew there were people inside the costumes? Wow...I'm pretty surprised they would know that at such a young age without someone telling them. Then again, this is coming from someone that believed in Santa until I was about 12 years old. :/

My DD figured it out when she was 6. She asked me if Mickey was real and I told her the truth, but I also talked to her about how nice it is to play and believe in magic and fantasy. She had a great time meeting the characters!!!

I also told her not to say anything along the lines of "people in costume" in front of anybody because it ruins the magic for them and its not fair.

Weird thing is now she is 7 and still believes in Santa (not the one at the store, that one is a person dressed up, the "real one" the one in the north pole ) and the tooth fairy

 

[MinnieLovesMickey12]

I don't think my kids would have fallen for the magic when they were younger. I think they would have figured it out that the characters weren't real.

I never took them until they were 10 ish so by then they knew better.

But both of mine when they were little figured out at a very early age that Santa, the Tooth Fairy and the Easter Bunny weren't real. And when they came to me and asked me to tell them the truth I refused to keep up the lie. So I told them the truth.

They didn't cry. It didn't crush their dreams or ruin the magic and wonder of being a kid.

Really we raise our kids to not tell a lie but we lie to them for the first 6 to 8 years of their lives. And then they find out we have been lying all that time. But we get all indignant when we find out they have been lying to us about something. That is the example that has been set for them. It's ok to lie if you are lying for a reason.

 

[CKBear]

We actually started telling my nephew when he was about 4 that it was just a person in a costume like he wears on Halloween, but that was in an attempt to make them seem less scary to him so he'd go take pictures with them. I'd never tell a kid that wanted to meet Mickey that it wasn't worth the time; that's a part of what trips to Disney when they are younger is about.

My nephew is at an age now where he wants to go to Howl-O-Scream and Halloween Horror Nights and he gets himself through the haunted houses by yelling at the people that he knows they are just playing dress-up when they scare him!

 

[tinkerbellandeeyor]

There are a lot of people that have very strong feelings about their children not interacting with characters including WDW ones, store Santa etc. While it is unfair to express their feelings in front of other kids, they do have the right to avoid and shield their children from these situations. One blog I follow was speaking of the Mall Santa they had visited for years with their large family. It was finally discovered that the Santa was not a very nice man and was arrested for Pornography of children. It made them, as it would anyone, sick to their stomach to think of their children on his lap. Some parents do not want characters touching and interacting with their kids. This is ok.

Neither of my boys ever believed the characters, Tooth Fairy or Bunny was real, though Santa did have a very short time of glory. Everything but Santa they just never had ANY believe in and the Santa story we let them believe until they asked straight out. Little one was like 5, older was was older but admitted he had it figured out by five.

Thing is they both LOVED all the characters at WDW. I HATE character lines so we do the meals, plus hunt down the one or two other characters that they really want to see (like Buzz) and try to time it so we see him with little wait. They know not to tell other kids the truth (but the little one has questioned how in the world they have not figured that out yet)

BTW-Santa, Bunny and T Fairy do come to our house.....they were and are just in on the truth!

Thank you for the insight it makes sense she was a helicopter parent

 

[purpledisneyprncess]

My 4 year old daughter picked up on it right away during our last trip and said that the characters weren't real. She said that is NOT the same Cinderella that we met that is in the movie. I was a little sad that she didn't believe--- but I still continue to make it magical for her by showing the excitement of meeting all the characters. My DS who is 7, now I'm not sure when he first picked up that they weren't real- we never had any discussions about it-- just my daughter on our last trip outright stated it...

They still believe in Santa and the Easter Bunny though, so all is good.. lol

As for the parent that OP heard saying that to their kids-- I mean, to each their own. It's like the parents who tell their children from the getgo that Santa isn't real. It annoys me as those kids talked about it in my son's class and he came home and asked me about it. My answer... Santa comes to those children's houses that believe in Santa. Maybe the kids that don't believe, maybe their parents just buy them their gifts.. I am trying to keep the magic in believing for as long as possible. For both Disney and Santa.

 

[xipetotec]

I don't think my kids would have fallen for the magic when they were younger. I think they would have figured it out that the characters weren't real.

I never took them until they were 10 ish so by then they knew better.

But both of mine when they were little figured out at a very early age that Santa, the Tooth Fairy and the Easter Bunny weren't real. And when they came to me and asked me to tell them the truth I refused to keep up the lie. So I told them the truth.

They didn't cry. It didn't crush their dreams or ruin the magic and wonder of being a kid.

Really we raise our kids to not tell a lie but we lie to them for the first 6 to 8 years of their lives. And then they find out we have been lying all that time. But we get all indignant when we find out they have been lying to us about something. That is the example that has been set for them. It's ok to lie if you are lying for a reason.

Well sure, it reaches a point where they'll ask point blank because they already doubt it. Then it's time. But when you drag your kid away saying "That's not X! it's just a guy in a suit!" ... that's harsh.

 

[Allison]

Thank you for the insight it makes sense she was a helicopter parent

Nobody said anyone was a helicopter parent.

 

[tinkerbellandeeyor]

Nobody said anyone was a helicopter parent.

No I said that be use I knew the mom she was my neighbor p

 

[MSSANDRA]

No I said that be use I knew the mom she was my neighbor p

How could you possibly know if someone I mentioned was your neighbor?

I can not image any parent not being at least a little uncomfortable knowing that their child has sit on the lap of a pedophile! Not sure that would qualify as helicopter parent at all.

 

[cobright]

You assigned a father to the story and what his motives were which you have no real idea about. You gave facts to the story that aren't facts but are your interpretation.

I was asked to conject. "Why would a parent...?" was the question and my answer applied.

I did assume it was a father and not mother in question but since I was asked a hypothetical, I don't see how it matters.

Perhaps if the OP had asked "Why did this parent ...?" speculation wouldn't be appropriate but I thought my answer was fair.

 

[cobright]

As soon as a kid is able to understand that the same actor can play different characters in different movies. Or offer the voices to different characters in many cartoons. That's when a more abstract understanding is possible.

My daughter is 9 and understands that the magic of Disney is from the characters of the stories and the people we meet are doing us the favor of presenting that magic for us and to us.

 

[FlightlessDuck]

Because it's true. I would never say it to my children, but it's true.

For the most part, we avoid character lines (Jedi Mickey being an exception). If we saw characters with no, or very short lines, we would say "Hi" and take pictures, but there was no way I am willing to waste hours of my day standing in line for a picture with Mickey. It's just not happening. There are rides to ride, sights to see.

 

[kate_wdw]

My 6yo DD told me she doesn't want to meet Cinderella because it looks like she is wearing a wig.

This made me laugh out loud. Your DD sounds like a cool kid

 

[rachael95]

I've seen parents tell kids who were afraid of the character that it was someone dressed up. But that was always in an effort to get them to go over for pictures. You'd have to be a real downer to just crush a kid like that.

My family never made a big deal about Santa. We always knew that "Mrs. Claus" filled our stockings and we needed to go to bed early before she fell asleep on the couch as my mother usually did each evening since she had to be at work at 4a.m. Santa was whoever passed out the presents the next morning. But we also made an effort to not be the annoying kids who tells others in school that Santa isn't real. It was just not polite.