Why do I get so annoyed...

[KandD]

when people ask me when my boyfriend and I are getting married? It didn't used to bother me but now it seems like ALL THE TIME people are inquiring about when he is going to propose. First of all, how the heck do I know? Second of all, whether or not we have discussed marriage is really not anyone's business.

I know I am being touchy so I usually just put a smile on my face and say I don't know but it is really starting to bug me. Ugg...ok this started off as a question but I think it was more of a vent. So thanks for listening and any advice on what to say to these questions would be appreciated.

 

[paintnolish]

Don't worry...if/when you do it get married, they'll start asking when you'll be having kids! Or more kids. Or trying for a boy. Or trying for a girl.

 

[Robinrs]

What bugs me worse is that they assume it's HIM instead of you. My ex asked me to marry him over and over for 6 years and it was ME who didn't want it... but the world is convinced it's always the MAN who doesn't want to be married!

 

[KandD]

Don't worry...if/when you do it get married, they'll start asking when you'll be having kids! Or more kids. Or trying for a boy. Or trying for a girl.

Oh great! Something to look forward to!

 

[DisneyBamaFan]

Could it be your subconscious talking to you? Is it starting to become an issue within your mind? If this feeling is new, maybe something has changed in you to notice it more...

 

[KandD]

Could it be your subconscious talking to you? Is it starting to become an issue within your mind? If this feeling is new, maybe something has changed in you to notice it more...

I don't think you're wrong...I know that I am probably getting annoyed with the questions because I might be a little anxious myself but STILL. Geesh...I KNOW I am not engaged/married I don't need a constant reminder!!

 

[Bren's Mom]

It could be bothering you when other people mention it because it IS bothering you that you're not engaged to him yet. I'd definitely explore that.

You need to have a great comeback, though.

Something like:

'OH, yeah, he wants to get married but his probation officer said until he's off probation that he really shouldn't.'

'His first wife still won't sign the papers, they haven't resolved the child support for their 7 kids.'

'I'm still not sure about the polygamy thing so I'm holding off giving him an answer to his proposal.'

Just shock 'em.

 

[Cantw8]

it annoys you because, well....it's annoying and I don't blame you

 

[sunnyday123]

just tell them, "when it's legal in all the states", smile and walk away.


and everyone is right, once you do get married, it's just a whole set of new questions.

 

[Nie0214]

My mom was asking where the grandbabies are while I was single.

It's never going to end. Nosey people are horrible. My friend is married, early 30s and just recently quit smoking, so the rumors at her work were that she's trying for a baby. Someone actually came up to her and asked how long she has been trying. This is a really sore subject with her, she can't have kids and wants kids, so these rude people just bring it all back up to her mind all because she quit smoking!

Wish people would shut their mouths more often.

 

[worm761]

I feel for you. We have the same problem here and it is coming from everywhere! It really doesn't help that we got pregnant either. Now even those that weren't on the bandwagon before definitely are. I just tell them we will in our own time. My feeling is that he is barely divorced. Not even two years since the papers were signed! I have no plans of leaving him any time soon but I don't think he should rush right back into marriage either.

As for a comeback...I would not answer the question but instead ask them a really private question in return. I figure if you are going to be rude and ask about my private affairs I should be allowed to ask about yours.

 

[anniemae]

I agree with the posters who say it never ends!!

If you are dating it's "when will you get married?"

If you get married, it's "when will you have kids?"

If you have a child it's, "when will have another child?"

 

[maelstrom]

When you get married, the question will turn into when are you having kids. Nosy people are nosy no matter what. Think up a snarky response.

 

[frndshpcptn]

We get it all the time as well (together 7 years, live together for 2).

It's annoying.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

I don't think you're wrong...I know that I am probably getting annoyed with the questions because I might be a little anxious myself but STILL. Geesh...I KNOW I am not engaged/married I don't need a constant reminder!!

You answered your own question.

I would just say simply, "I don't know." If you want to follow up with snarky, you could say "what have you heard?"

 

[Hercules10]

So when are ya'll getting hitched?

 

[DisneyBamaFan]

So when are ya'll getting hitched?

 

[KandD]

So when are ya'll getting hitched?

 

[AshleyW]

I feel your pain - my fiance and I dated for about 6.5 years before he proposed.. so I'd been getting that question for about 4 years. But, neither of us was ready until then. But now that we've been engaged for about 1.5 years, it's "so when's the wedding? do you have your dress? when am I getting my invitation?" .. seriously, if it took us that long just to get engaged, it's not hard to assume the engagement will probably be long too. People just need to mind their own business.

 

[bumbershoot]

Don't worry...if/when you do it get married, they'll start asking when you'll be having kids! Or more kids. Or trying for a boy. Or trying for a girl.

Definitely.

Thankfully people who know us haven't bugged us about having another (they say what a handful DS was until about a year ago!!!), but strangers do. Worse, they ask my son if he wants a brother/sister. What the? That just makes him think, even more, that it's a simple thing, to make a new baby.


However, not an hour after we were married, my FIL asked when we'd have a baby. WORSE, at our rehearsal dinner, my stepmom and dad started asking, even going to the point where my stepmom (a nurse with NO boundaries) asked if we were "using protection".


Be thankful it's just the questions you're getting now, b/c it only gets worse.