Why do I always get a WARPED one?!

[flaps]

Mel Brooks' Blazing Saddles imitation:

Why do I/[We] always get a WARPED one?!

That's a phrase heard frequently at our place these days.

Over the years, I've had several pets. All of them "warped" in some way or another.

Dogs? Warped.
Cats? Warped.
Rabbits? Goats? Guinea Pigs? All warped.

My most recently acquired pet - a canine in cat's clothing, i.e. a cat who thinks she's a dog - is no exception.

In fact, I think she's the most warped of any pet I've ever had. The simple fact that my husband is the "cat person," yet she chose to bond with me and regard my spouse as little more than a chew toy kinda clued me in from the get-go that she wasn't firing on all cylinders.

Maybe she was born that way. Maybe it's because she's been around me practically 24-7. Nature vs. Nuture? or Which came first, the chicken or the egg? I dunno. But whatever the reason, she is decidedly "warped."

Among other things, she can't seem to master the concept of covering her "business" after she uses her litter box.

She digs a hole. Good start. For the most part, she hits the hole. So far, so good. But then it's all downhill from there, so it's best not to be standing downwind.

She just doesn't "get it."

Oh, it's not for lack of trying. She's persistant, that one. She knows it stinks and that she needs to cover, and she'll spend many minutes attempting to do just that.

She'll paw and scratch all around the insides of her box. Then she'll scratch and paw around the lip of her box. Ever careful, though, not to touch any actual litter.

When that doesn't seem to do the trick, she'll start pawing/scratching the wall.

And then the door.

And then the floor.

And then if there's anything within 4 cats' lengths of her box that she can "grab," she'll try to pull it into her box to "cover."

On more than one occasion I've discovered that she's pulled my duster out of my cleaning supplies a few feet away in her never-successful attempts to do what I *thought* was supposed to come "naturally."


Last night was the kicker, though, as far as covering-but-not-covering is concerned.



DH made the mistake of being in a little too close proximity at just the right (or wrong) time...


...and the cat discovered another use for him besides "chew toy."




So, do you have a "warped" pet?

 

[delswife]

I can't even respond to this right now, I'm too busy laughing!

 

[two4ruff]

Thanks for my first smile of the day!

ALL my pets are warped or mutants too. Come to think of it, maybe my kids are a little warped too....

 

[remyandhollandsmommy]

Our dog is warped. I was tricked by television into thinking that german shepards were smart, but it was a lie. Xander, the not smart shepard, was the runt of the litter and while he caught up size-wise he must have a peanut brain.
For example...most dogs stop before they pee, but not our dog. He just keeps running, peeing all over himself. Poor DH got peed on as the dog ran past him this afternoon. Then he has this habit of digging in his water bowl and drinking the spilled water off the ground. I was not aware that water tasted better off the ground, but it must because that dumb dog won't leave it in the bowl. And the barking...oh lord, the barking...Xander barks at everthing! He barks at me everytime he sees me, like he forgets who I am in the time it takes me to get something out of the car and come back inside. He also ate my cat's whiskers by chewing on Kipper's head (thankfully he doesn't bite down). I had to explain to our vet why my poor cat had stubble instead of whiskers.
That dumb dog....

 

[Disfan1]

My cat HATES socks with feet in them! Empty socks, OK, Bare feet, OK. But if you walk past her in wearing socks and no shoes, watch out! She bit DH HARD on the ankle one day...I swear she waits under the couch for her next "victim". The most embarrassing was when we had our A/C worked on. It was rainy that day so the workman removed his muddy boots on our front porch before he came in the house and... He shrieked loud enough that my neighbor heard and called to see if we were OK!

 

[HauntedMansionGeek]

Warped pets are the best kind to have!

 

[cynsaun]

We have four animals, but one is REALLY warped! She is a persian cat named Jinxy (yes, after the cat in "Meet the Parents!) and I can tell you she has lived up to her name! She is a jinx upon herself!

We had had her for maybe a week and a half, and she was so small that she would get "lost." One day we looked for her for an hour and a half, but she was NO WHERE! I don't know what made my husband open the fridge door, but out rolls Jinxy cat all happy and chilled! She had apparently jumped in when we were cleaning up lunch!

Another time she started to meow loud. Now, persians have very soft voices, so I knew something was wrong! I looked all over the first floor for her and found her sitting OUTSIDE the dining room window ledge meowing to get back in. I was freaking out, had NO idea how she got out there. All the screens were on the DOWNstairs windows...hmmmm... OMG!!!! I ran upstairs and sure enough, she had pushed out the screen on my daughter's window and JUMPED!!! Thank goodness, she did in fact land on all fours (answers that question, doesn't it? ) and wasn't hurt at all!

Every day it seems to be something with her! She has to be on one of her last lives, I'm sure of it! And, she's only 1 1/2!!

 

[sha_lyn]

ph yes all of ours are warped... the prize in our house actually goes to one of our fish

We've had sharky for 14 yrs. He spent the first 10 so afraid of everythign that he would knock himself out on the side of the tank when I cleaned it.

About 10 yrs ago I just knew he was dead. knocked himself out and floated to the top. I picked him up and he beganto slip out of my hand, sqeezed a bit to keep hold and all of a sudden he starts moving. ended up having to do "chest compressions" on him a few other times too.


then we have tink (tinkerbell) our 10m kitten. Her newest nicknames are flubber and spidermonkey... we've decided she needs a 12step program to cure her adiction to chains. DS wears the bulky "goth" chains and tink is adicted to playing with them. so much so, that she goes nuts when she hears him open his jewlery chest. IF his door is shut she will cry outside it. If someone is holding her she goes nuts wanting down. She must get to the chain right them.

Of course there are our dogs...14 yrPanda and 16 yrSandy. they got along great for yrs, then decided they hated each other. For about 8 yrs now we have had to keep them apart. Funny thing is if at the kennel they love eachother and the kennel lets them out together to play during play time. Vet has also put them both in a pen together and they are fine. Bring them home and they start growling and fighting.

 

[flaps]

Originally posted by HauntedMansionGeek
Warped pets are the best kind to have!

Indeed!



LOL at the "Tales From the Warped Side." Thanks for sharing, all.

 

[Pop Daddy]

hmmmm, maybe if you didnt double space it would be such a long post

 

[flaps]

Originally posted by Pop Daddy
hmmmm, maybe if you didnt double space it would be such a long post

I was just trying to go easy on some folks' eyes.

 

[Pop Daddy]

Originally posted by flaps
I was just trying to go easy on some folks' eyes.

actually it made it very aluring, it almost persuaded me to read it

 

[flaps]

Originally posted by Pop Daddy
actually it made it very aluring, it almost persuaded me to read it

Sorry 'bout that.

Hey, you have a dog, don't you? Is he "warped?"

 

[Pop Daddy]

Originally posted by flaps


Hey, you have a dog, don't you? Is he "warped?"

nope but his person is

 

[flaps]

Originally posted by Pop Daddy
nope but his person is

That was, of course, a given.