You may or may not have read 'bout my warped kitty and other warped pets I've had in a previous post. To my knowledge, I've never mentioned that my family's warped, as have been most of my friends throughout life, but yep, same deal: all warped. And it should go without saying that my spouse is more than a little warped as well. What this may say about me is, IMHO, something best left unexplored. 
But anyway.
Earlier today my spouse mowed a little old lady's lawn for a coworker who was on vacation.
Spouse comes home and relays the following to me:
Spouse: She asked me, "Would it be okay if I wrote you a check?" I told her, "No, I want to be paid in cash. Cash doesn't bounce."
Me: *jaw doesn't even get a chance to hit the ground, I'm shocked into silence*
Spouse, continuing: She said, "Well, I don't really have enough to pay you in cash." I said, "You knew I was coming. Go get some."
Me: *I stammer a bit as my jaw hits the ground*
Spouse, continuing: (I don't know what was said, I was still processing the above)
I finally catch on and realize I'm being "had" again.
Grrrr.
Spouse's parting shot as he heads off to work: You can't believe half of what I say, and the other half isn't true.
So how much would it set me back for one of y'all to take a slightly used, more-than-a-wee-bit warped spouse off my hands for awhile? Hard worker. Handy 'round the house. Good for a laugh now and again. Some assembly required. Batteries not included.
But anyway.
Earlier today my spouse mowed a little old lady's lawn for a coworker who was on vacation.
Spouse comes home and relays the following to me:
Spouse: She asked me, "Would it be okay if I wrote you a check?" I told her, "No, I want to be paid in cash. Cash doesn't bounce."
Me: *jaw doesn't even get a chance to hit the ground, I'm shocked into silence*
Spouse, continuing: She said, "Well, I don't really have enough to pay you in cash." I said, "You knew I was coming. Go get some."
Me: *I stammer a bit as my jaw hits the ground*
Spouse, continuing: (I don't know what was said, I was still processing the above)
I finally catch on and realize I'm being "had" again.
Grrrr. Spouse's parting shot as he heads off to work: You can't believe half of what I say, and the other half isn't true.
So how much would it set me back for one of y'all to take a slightly used, more-than-a-wee-bit warped spouse off my hands for awhile? Hard worker. Handy 'round the house. Good for a laugh now and again. Some assembly required. Batteries not included.
