Why can't I figure out what I want?

[PryncessChrysty]

I hope you all don't mind if I vent for a bit here - I've been feeling a little defeated lately and I'm hoping that getting this off my chest will help me out of this funk, at least a little bit.....

After about 5 years of living together, DH2B and I became 'officially' engaged 8/2004. I have a lot of family drama and he has very little family, so after weighing a few options, we decided an intimate wedding at WDW was PERFECT for us! With exactly one year to go, I called in and booked our wedding for 10/5/05 at Sea Breeze Pointe! But after a few months we decided that we should get some other stuff (financial, career, etc.) in line first, and postpone the wedding for a bit.
Recently my mom started urging me to get back into the planning mode, so we weighed our options once again and this time around decided to go with a suite at the Grand Californian in April 2008. We would just plan and book everything ourselves (we'd be having the ceremony and the reception in the suite). But now I'm having second thoughts. I don't know if it's the gemini in me or what, but I just can't commit to any one idea, and I can't stop thinking about that intimate at Sea Breeze Pointe. Part of me really wants to plan the big event and have more than just a few people there, but I think even more of me wants to have a 'real' Disney wedding, working with them to do the planning (not to mention that I won't have to deal with the family drama since we are only allowed to have 18 people!). I think my biggest concern with the WDW plan is making sure that the people we want to be there, are able to get there. Of all the people we'd be inviting, the only one that knows anything about WDW is my mom - everyone else would be clueless. And because it would be our honeymoon, we only want to spend the first 3-4 days with everyone.
I did a rough estimate, and the WDW plan (which includes 8 days of WDW for DH2B and I) is approx $2-3k more than the GC plan (no honeymoon included). I think I just answered my own dilemma - we should go ahead with the WDW plan, it feels like that's really what is in my heart.
The biggest obstacle weighing over me, though is making sure all of our guests feel like they're getting their $ worth, and that they don't feel lost or excluded. I know it's already asking a lot for people to make the trek out to FL, but we would give them at least 12-18 months notice and I was planning on making up an itinerary for the first few days with maps to let everyone know where we'd be and when. I just don't want anyone to feel obligated in case they can't afford everything we'd be doing, and unfortunately, we really can't afford to pay for everyone's accommodations. We'd probably help out my FMIL, but that would be it.
OK, I actually feel a little better now! If you've made it this far, THANK YOU!!!

Any advice you have to offer would be GREATLY appreciated!!!!!

 

[DisneyMommyMichelle]

Honestly, please do what YOU want, don't worry about your guests. That sounds harsh, but this is YOUR wedding! we went ahead and did our own thing and 2 yrs later all our guests at the wedding are STILL asking us when we are doing it again! Everyone will find there own things to do!

 

[Chrissie-riel]

Go for the WDW wedding! If you are important to them, they will make it a point to be there, especially if you give them a whole year to locate the funds. In January, I was lucky enough to receive a wedding invitation to a Fairy-Tale Wedding, set aside the tax refund money for the trip and took the kids for a one week September Disney vacation that ended with my best friend's wedding in the pavilion!! Don't make your plans based on what you think your friends/family will do. They may happily surprise you!

 

[DisneyGirl4188]

You need to do what YOU want and not worry about anyone else. If you settle, then you will never be happy. I think a year in advance is plenty notice. You could always decide to have a reception at home and invite everyone that couldn't make it to FL.

 

[honeybee5517]

Ive been struggling with the same questions myself. I kept going back and forth so much with my family that they even told me to just do what we wanted and not to think about everyone else.

In the end, its your wedding and the only people that will really matter there are you and your fiance. If you want, you can opt to have a reception at home.

 

[dsnyfan6/18]

I had the same thoughts, i have very little family, my DH's family is huge. We knew a lot of his family wouldn't be able to make it, but this was waht we had wanted, so we went with it. It was most important that our close family & friends were there with us, so when they said they were in, we went for it. Of course, some family complianed when they couldn't afford it or coudln't take off of work, but ultimately it was their decision, and we were so happy with the turnout (35 people total) it was absoutely perfect, and if I had to do it over I can say 200% that i'd do it again the same exact way!

 

[PryncessChrysty]

Thanks everyone!! DH2B and I were talking about it today, and he agrees that if the intimate at WDW is what I really want, then this is what we should do. (He said he doesn't have any sort of preference where we do it, he just wants to do it! haha). He also concurred with what a lot of you said, that we don't really need to worry about everyone else. We'll give them plenty of notice, give them an itinerary w/maps & estimated costs, and just let everything else work itself out.

Thanks again...I'm feeling much better & my eye twitch has calmed down quite a bit in the last 24 hours.

 

[ItGirl753]

Pryncess Chrysty,
I'm glad you are feeling better. I would love to have just an intimate, but with only 18 allowed we couldn't even fit all of our siblings and their kids plus our parents. So a custom it will be! We have a short list for Disney but then I am hoping/planning on a reception at home for the rest of the family.