Why are you a single parent?

[DisneyHeather]

I am a single mom by choice. Hadn't met the one yet (still haven't) and wanted a baby. Good job, owned a home, no debt at the time so I went for it. It was the best decision I've ever made. I adore my son and wouldn't trade him for the world. I joke sometimes that I had him so I had a built in travel buddy as we've done Disneyland 4 times, World 3 time and two DCL cruises in his 4 years.

I'm also happy I did it alone because I don't have to deal with the drama of an ex and I don't have to share my boy with anyone he's all mine. The older he gets the more I think I wouldn't want to share him with someone else so at this point I don't have any desire to date or deal with the hassle of dating.

 

[JaxDad]

jupers, your story is somewhat similar to my own. The trip WILL be good for you all. Go and have fun!

I don't want to turn this into a divorce court forum, but make sure you and your lawyer go for all the things you want and need out of the marriage. Be firm but reasonable. IMHO, your goal should be to make this the one and only court date you will ever need, then you can more easily move on with your life. My communication with ex is still almost all by email and text after 2 years. That's okay.

I wish you all the best!

 

[rapunzelmom]

I too became a mom through adoption, DD8, came home to be from.Guatemala. I just turned 40 when she came home so I had been witness to lots.of friends marriages and I truly think that yes, there are lots of tough times, but even my happily married friends have to deal with a lot of husband drama I don't! I have full control of the remote, and we always go to my family for the holidays.
To PP, you got this, kick his cheating assignment to the curb and know you got whole lot of DIS estrogen on your side.

 

[savage1117]

I ended up pregnant after an affair with a coworker. He told me to get an abortion because he already had a family. He's never seen her & has said he never wants to. My amazing daughter Brooklyn is now 9 & I know I made the best decision to keep her and be a single parent.
She has an autoimmune disorder that has made the last 5 years very tough, but we love going to Disney. I love to see the world thru her eyes.

 

[MommyMeNDisney]

I ended up pregnant after an affair with a coworker. He told me to get an abortion because he already had a family. He's never seen her & has said he never wants to. My amazing daughter Brooklyn is now 9 & I know I made the best decision to keep her and be a single parent.
She has an autoimmune disorder that has made the last 5 years very tough, but we love going to Disney. I love to see the world thru her eyes.

I pray all will be well with your baby girl. Isn't it nice seeing the world through your kids eyes?

 

[jupers]

jupers, your story is somewhat similar to my own. The trip WILL be good for you all. Go and have fun!

I don't want to turn this into a divorce court forum, but make sure you and your lawyer go for all the things you want and need out of the marriage. Be firm but reasonable. IMHO, your goal should be to make this the one and only court date you will ever need, then you can more easily move on with your life. My communication with ex is still almost all by email and text after 2 years. That's okay.

I wish you all the best!

Thank you...that's what I'm hoping for!

 

[Jedimom]

I divorced their dad years ago when youngest was just a baby. Best decision I ever made! He just wasn't a good person, my polar opposite. He sees them maybe twice a year for a few hours (his choice). Even when we were married, I was practically a single parent, doing everything for/with the kids on my own, so I was used to it.

 

[NJMomto2]

Well...I don't talk about it much. I was the one who thought I'd never get married. I fell in love and thought I was happy. I didn't realize at the time I had convinced myself of something that wasn't really love. Things were just ok. Then I got pregnant with little man and was terrified...I never wanted a child. But I'm a big believer that everything happens for a reason. For me there was no option other than keeping him. My ex didn't want him but was mostly respectful that I did. Once little man was here and all that stress and sleeplessness was upon us things changed fast. Ex ended up committing a crime against my infant son. I pressed charges, hired a lawyer, did all the right things. Ex was out on bail when he found us and committed another crime against our son. Please don't think I'm one of those women that let ex around my son again after something like that happens...it was not like that...he took my son from me in the parking lot of daycare. Anyway after that he went to jail for good and had his rights terminated. That was when little man was 7 months and we haven't seen him since.

While it was awful....I'm very thankful that I have little man and that now things are very final and it's just the two of us forever with no question or having to deal with anyone else. And that those things happened while little man was way too little to remember anything.

I admire your strength. I am so glad you have gotten peace now. I ended up in a wheelchair with a bone disease at 8 mo pregnant. When my daughter was born, My exhusband assaulted both of us. She was 5 weeks old and I was laying in bed nursing her. My leg was broken. I was bleeding down my face. He strangled me for a good 10 min and she ended up face down in the blankets squirming to breathe.

The DA refused to prosecute as there was no eye witness. My ex husband filed for custody.

Then my ex husband assaulted another woman and child in 2014. DA dropped charges again. There were 2 witnesses.

In August, we go back as he is fighting for custody again...

 

[Tiffylv]

.

 

[MommyMeNDisney]

I admire your strength. I am so glad you have gotten peace now. I ended up in a wheelchair with a bone disease at 8 mo pregnant. When my daughter was born, My exhusband assaulted both of us. She was 5 weeks old and I was laying in bed nursing her. My leg was broken. I was bleeding down my face. He strangled me for a good 10 min and she ended up face down in the blankets squirming to breathe.

The DA refused to prosecute as there was no eye witness. My ex husband filed for custody.

Then my ex husband assaulted another woman and child in 2014. DA dropped charges again. There were 2 witnesses.

In August, we go back as he is fighting for custody again...

OMG, my heart hurts for you and your baby! What a HORRIBLE person!!! Karma is a patient little #%*^! Just when your ex has forgotten about how horrible he treated you and your baby...WHAM, karma's going to slap him in the face!

The judicial system sucks when it comes to child custody cases! I'm in an ongoing custody battle and the judge's rulings so far are horrible for a baby my DS's age! Someone who doesn't know my ex is making custody decisions for my DS...horrible custody decisions! Being in a custody battle (especially for a baby), while you're post partum SUCKS! Especially when the ex wanted an abortion! Smh

I'm praying for you and your daughter. I'm so sorry you two are dealing with this!

 

[Tiffylv]

.

 

[MommyMeNDisney]

This is very true too. I'm sure my ex is having a great time in jail....yours will get his too!!!

Haha...I love it!!! I love it when karma pays the wicked a visit!

 

[ratlenhum]

My husband was NYPD and a 9-11 first responder. He passed away last August from a 9-11 related cancer. He was 44. We we're a Disney family and still are. He made me promise to keep taking our son after he died. We've been twice since he passed. We will be celebrating his life at WDW on the first anniversary of his death. That's where he'd want us to be.

 

[Princesspolly0110]

I never found Mr. Right, but knew I wanted to be a mom. So I adopted! I think in some respects it's been easier for me than for some who have lost a spouse and father to their children, whatever the reason. I signed up for single parenthood even though I knew it would not be a walk in the park, knowing that I would have only myself to rely on to love her, support her, and make all of the big decisions. It's been scary at times to be doing this on my own, but I wouldn't trade it for the world! I also have a supportive family and friends to rely on which makes a world of difference in both of our lives.

Can I ask how old you were when you adopted your daughter? I'm 23 (so young I know!) I haven't met mr right but I have an immense desire to be a mom, more so than finding a lifetime parter.

 

[alopez926]

Can I ask how old you were when you adopted your daughter? I'm 23 (so young I know!) I haven't met mr right but I have an immense desire to be a mom, more so than finding a lifetime parter.

Hi! I was 39 when I started the adoption process. I received my daughter's referral on my 40th birthday (no joke!) and 2 months later she was home with me. If I had to do it over, I might have started a little younger (say 35), but many of my friends were having babies in their late 30's and early 40's so we were all going through first-time parenthood together.

I wish you all the best with your decision down the road if this is the path you choose. It's a big one. Single-parentlng (and parenting in general) is a life changer. I also think you have a good while before you need to decide!

I encourage you to explore your life's passions while you are young, single, and child-free! I had a very full life before becoming a mom.... I had great friends, I traveled as much as I could, I went to the theater often, I volunteered, and I was spontaneous. I still have a full life, richer in many ways...it's just a different kind of "full" LOL!

 

[firepuppy]

My husband was NYPD and a 9-11 first responder. He passed away last August from a 9-11 related cancer. He was 44. We we're a Disney family and still are. He made me promise to keep taking our son after he died. We've been twice since he passed. We will be celebrating his life at WDW on the first anniversary of his death. That's where he'd want us to be.

I know it is never to late to say Thank you.... I was also on my way up to help when we were called back saying they did not need any more help. I have been FD and PD for over 25 years. We will be there in spirit with you.

 

[clr055]

I am a single parent because I was fresh out of high school and was your stereotypical teenager who had been raised in foster care (i.e. completely out of control) and had been told by a doctor I could not have children so didn't give birth control a second thought. Getting pregnant was the single best moment of my life and completely changed the path I was on. I call her my angel because she literally came from heaven and saved me. Her birth father admitted to a meth problem when I told him I was pregnant and I bought him a plane ticket back to Arizona where he was from and told him not to come back unless he got his life together. She is now 13 and he has complied with my wishes and kept his drunk, drug using behind away from her. She is brilliant and wonderful.

It is a blessing and a curse to raise a child as a sole supporting single parent. There has never been any support (emotional, financial) or anyone else there to help or give you a break when things are hard. When you are rushing your child to the hospital you will feel the void of the lack of the partner. When they come home crying from daycare because every other kid there has a daddy. When your child has been in daycare their whole life because you have always worked. But in the alternative I don't have to fight with some man who can't get over his selfish ways that hurts the kid. My biggest goal in life is to raise my child with as few issues as possible so she can be happy.

 

[v3rs3]

I guess I'm one of the rare stories, being a single dad. My son is 8 and has lived full-time with me since his mom and I divorced when he was 3. She had numerous affairs and really cared about nothing but herself. So I let her go along with her life seeing him 2-3 days a month.

We had so much drama for the first year or two, but then I just gave up and complied with whatever she asked. If she didn't want to pick him up, I wouldn't press it, if she argued with me, I'd just agree. So basically I just try to be as nice as possible to her, and do what I need to. It has worked out and she finally started taking a bit more inituative. He's been staying with her at least 1 night a week and 1 or 2 weekends a month.

I honestly wouldn't have it any other way. He's my purpose in life and my best buddy.

 

[TigrLvsPooh]

Maybe this thread will end up being a downer, but as a newly single mom who only has friends who are happily married, I feel really alone a lot of the time in my situation. My husband and I are getting a divorce (after 10+ years he admitted to several affairs, including one long term that resulted in a child) and I am still reeling from that.

I know we aren't all single parents due to divorce but I thought it might be helpful to hear where everyone else is coming from.

I can feel your pain It's so hard to deal with I know first hand. I just keep reminding myself how much better off I am knowing the truth.

 

[MommyMeNDisney]

I guess I'm one of the rare stories, being a single dad. My son is 8 and has lived full-time with me since his mom and I divorced when he was 3. She had numerous affairs and really cared about nothing but herself. So I let her go along with her life seeing him 2-3 days a month.

We had so much drama for the first year or two, but then I just gave up and complied with whatever she asked. If she didn't want to pick him up, I wouldn't press it, if she argued with me, I'd just agree. So basically I just try to be as nice as possible to her, and do what I need to. It has worked out and she finally started taking a bit more inituative. He's been staying with her at least 1 night a week and 1 or 2 weekends a month.

I honestly wouldn't have it any other way. He's my purpose in life and my best buddy.

I'm glad your son has you.

I would lose it if I didn't have my DS the majority of the time! I'm sad beyond words when my son has to be away from me to visit with his dad. If DS is not visiting with his dad, he's with me.