Why are you a single parent?

Discussion in 'Disney for Single Parents' started by ophelia2002, Jul 7, 2015.

  1. ophelia2002

    ophelia2002 Mouseketeer

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    Maybe this thread will end up being a downer, but as a newly single mom who only has friends who are happily married, I feel really alone a lot of the time in my situation. My husband and I are getting a divorce (after 10+ years he admitted to several affairs, including one long term that resulted in a child) and I am still reeling from that.

    I know we aren't all single parents due to divorce but I thought it might be helpful to hear where everyone else is coming from.
     
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  2. JustCallMeMommy

    JustCallMeMommy DIS Veteran

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    I'm sorry you are going through this now. It does get better. My house is so much more peaceful now - DD and I were walking on eggshells around exH and didn't realize it until later.

    ExH and I were married for 16 years when we divorced. I didn't see it coming; he said he had been miserable for a long time (which I hear is common among those who are justifying their affairs). I actually discovered he was about to cheat and confronted him, and he still chose to proceed.

    I was very hurt, but I try to put my feelings aside and do whatever is best for DD. ExH even joined us on part of our last Disney vacation.
     
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  4. momofboyz3

    momofboyz3 DIS Veteran

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    Hi there. Well... When my twins were about 3 we went to "visit" his country. The "visit" lasted 2 yrs & I got pregnant w/my 3rd. He ended up abandoning us. To make a long, emotional story short we ended up getting out. It was a bad marriage from the start & I never should've left the country. He's a narcissist. He cheated a number of times.
    It's been 12 yrs & very happy to have my freedom!
     
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  5. Jasesmom

    Jasesmom Mouseketeer

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    I was never married. I had dated Jase's father for 2 years when I got pregnant with him. He immediately told me to have an abortion and I refused. Jase was not a mistake by any means and I'm a firm believer that God gave him to me at the perfect point in my life! His father has seen him maybe 4 hours in the last 2.5 years and we only live 2 miles apart.
     
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  6. luvmy2babies

    luvmy2babies DIS Veteran

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    My husband died in 2010. He passed away in his sleep after some years of pulmonary issues along with diabetes he got from taking steroids to deal with the pulmonary issues. My daughter was 6, my son 2 months old. They are now 12 and 5. It gets bumpy and exhausting and emotional; but even though I miss him, I have faith things are the only way they could be now. He suffered immensely, more than a lot of people knew as did I caring for him when he would often become incapacitated. I honestly don't know how I would have taken care of everyone if he had survived based on the progression of his condition.

    Even with all of the bumps and exhaustion and frustration, the children and I are making the best go of it we can. I am grateful for the life we have.
     
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  7. firepuppy

    firepuppy Mouseketeer

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    I was married and got a divorce when my DS was just 1. It was a very bad marriage and thank God I was able to get out. My DS has not seen or spoken to his father in over 10 years. I can tell you it will not be easy all the time nor will it be hard all the time. Each day comes with its now set of problems and rewards. I know I made the correct move after the divorce when I was able to put my DS to bed with no fear. My DS is older now and thanks me for keeping him safe. With us doing to Disney allows us to forget about our everyday lives and have fun. It also makes me proud knowing I did it on my own I did not need help.
     
  8. DisneyClown

    DisneyClown DIS Veteran

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    Divorced for a year and half now, after 6 years of marriage and two kids. It got really bad toward the end, but we are amicable now and get along pretty well for the most part. My house is more peaceful now. :) Going to be heading out on our first family vacation without him next year, on a Disney cruise, and I am kind of nervous, but we will be ok!
     
  9. MommyMeNDisney

    MommyMeNDisney DIS Veteran

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    Oh I wish I could answer this question, but the wounds are still so FRESH! The only words I can muster up right now to explain why I'm a single mom would not be appropriate to use on here.

    I envy those of you who don't have to deal with the drama of an ex. I'm learning to enjoy every second of peace I'm able to experience. I have no problem being a single parent. DS and I have a great system and I LOVE our bond. I'm in tears (silent...no weeping) now as I type this and DS just stopped playing, crawled over to me and placed his head on me. I carry this little boy in my SPIRIT! He KNOWS when something's not right with me. So, I suck it up & smile so he can see that mom will be ok. He smiles, then returns to playing.

    I'll just be glad when it gets "better"! Because this quite frankly...SUCKS!!!!

    I wish the best for everyone here.
     
  10. firepuppy

    firepuppy Mouseketeer

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    I can say this now..... I know what you are saying. Reading this tread it looks like several have been or are still in the same shoes you are. To help we send pixie dust when it is needed. You will find you now have a new extended family of other single parents you can look to for help.
     
  11. nobellybutton

    nobellybutton Mouseketeer

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    Keep strong, you're doing a great job. My mom divorced my dad when I was 6 and in order to soften the hurt I would feel, we drove from Miami to Orlando and met up with her 2 brothers and all their family. It was our one BIG family vacation and 32yrs later I still remember it as a good memory. as for the days, months years after its not easy, but as a grown up, I know how how hard my mom worked to make me happy, and non affected. You all are being Amazing single parents kudos to you ALL!:worship:
     
  12. MommyMeNDisney

    MommyMeNDisney DIS Veteran

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    Thank you so much for these encouraging words!
     
  13. ophelia2002

    ophelia2002 Mouseketeer

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    Oh I'm sorry this upset you! I thought this thread might bum people out but I know that I find some comfort in knowing that there are others in situations similar and that they get through each day, too.
     
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  14. MommyMeNDisney

    MommyMeNDisney DIS Veteran

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    Thank you so much! I try really hard not to allow this to affect DS negatively.
     
  15. MommyMeNDisney

    MommyMeNDisney DIS Veteran

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    Love your profile picture by the way. Princess Leia is ADORABLE!!! :)
     
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  16. MommyMeNDisney

    MommyMeNDisney DIS Veteran

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    It's ok. It's a part of the healing process. It's bad right now and I don't know how much longer it will be this way, but I am certain that THIS TOO SHALL PASS! I say all the time, when God has decided that DS and I have had enough of this crap, He WILL deliver us out of this! When He does, we will be stronger and able to help someone else in this similar situation.
     
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  17. Candy1971

    Candy1971 Fin! Noggin! Dude!!

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    I never married...and I'm the only one that has parented my children. It has been really hard sometimes since one of my children is a heart and stroke patient, but I can honestly say I'm so thankful we haven't had to go through the drama of the other parent coming in and out of their lives, etc, etc.
     
  18. alopez926

    alopez926 Mouseketeer

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    I never found Mr. Right, but knew I wanted to be a mom. So I adopted! I think in some respects it's been easier for me than for some who have lost a spouse and father to their children, whatever the reason. I signed up for single parenthood even though I knew it would not be a walk in the park, knowing that I would have only myself to rely on to love her, support her, and make all of the big decisions. It's been scary at times to be doing this on my own, but I wouldn't trade it for the world! I also have a supportive family and friends to rely on which makes a world of difference in both of our lives.
     
  19. annacali

    annacali DIS Veteran

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    Another single parent by choice here. My two girls were adopted as infants from Guatemala. They are 10 and 12 now (almost 13, yikes!) Even though doing it on my own is sometimes harder than anything, I am still super blessed to have them both. My parents are local and a huge help and great friends are available to help out too.
     
  20. MsMamaBear

    MsMamaBear Mouseketeer

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    I wasn't married to him, but we were together for 5 years when I found out he cheated and is still with her today. I have 3 friends- 2 are married and the other is a single mom as well. So we are split even. It gets better, SO much better. It's been 2 years and I am so much happier. Like a PP, I never knew how unhappy I was until it was over. I started running because of him. Nothing pounds out frustration like running to totally exhausting yourself. :) Financially I am better off as well. He didn't manage money well and that is a downer on a relationship! I haven't started to date yet, not really ready to anyway.:)
     
  21. Tiffylv

    Tiffylv DIS Veteran

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    .
     
    Last edited: Jan 25, 2016
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