Why are men so hard to buy gifts for?

[Lorelei Lee]

Dh's birthday is a week before Valentine's Day. Every year I go through the same agony of trying to figure out a gift for him. I really want to surprise him but I fail miserably. And every year I wind up asking him what he wants.


This year I think I'll just cut to the chase, spare myself the agony and just ask him.

 

[Baliezer]

What kind of stuff does he like? Does he travel a lot? Like a certain restaurant? Enjoy sports? Athletic or drink wine?

 

[Lorelei Lee]

By the time I figure out what DVD he wants, he just ordered it from Amazon. If I'm thinking show tickets as a surprise he asks me if we should get tickets to see it.


He is always one step ahead of me.

 

[tefrench]

One of the best gifts was when I saved up some money over the year, and told him to have fun shopping. I'm a SAHM, so it was hard, but he really loved the surprise.

Good luck, - my dh is the same way!

 

[MIGrandma]

My DH is hard to buy gifts for too. I think it's hard to buy gifts for most men because they don't have hobbies. DH just doesn't have time for hobbies at this point in his life. When he has free time he likes to read or watch sports on TV, that's about it. Oh, he likes guns and has several but I have no idea what to get him for that. He needs stuff for his guns, or wants a new gun, he buys it.

I get him books and clothes for gifts. Boring.

The best gift I ever gave him was a surprise 3-night trip to Las Vegas for his 50th birthday. Doubt I'll ever be able to top that.

 

[Bob NC]

This year I think I'll just cut to the chase, spare myself the agony and just ask him.

I'm just curious as to why asking him what he wants for his birthday is a 'bad' thing?

I saw a post on here a while ago from someone who gets christmas lists from their family, but refuses to buy them anything from the list because they won't be 'suprised'.

I'd prefer to get people what they want.

 

[Lorelei Lee]

Asking removes the element of surprise.

 

[SaraJayne]

One of the best gifts was when I saved up some money over the year, and told him to have fun shopping. I'm a SAHM, so it was hard, but he really loved the surprise.

Good luck, - my dh is the same way!

My DH would rather poke a fork in both eyes than go shopping ~ for anything.

OP, I completely sympathize with you. DH is having a custom set of golf clubs made, so that covers both his Christmas and birthday gift this year (bday is beginning of Feb).

So I got off easy this time.

 

[scrapquitler]

I'm just curious as to why asking him what he wants for his birthday is a 'bad' thing?

I saw a post on here a while ago from someone who gets christmas lists from their family, but refuses to buy them anything from the list because they won't be 'suprised'.

I'd prefer to get people what they want.

I agree with this. I want to give people a gift that they actually want rather than something that won't be useful or appreciated. Just because I ask them what they would like doesn't mean that they won't be surprised when they get it.

Having said that, my DH is easy to buy for. He loves so many things and collects lots of things, and he is in fact, a simple creature so I know there are many things that will be a hit.

 

[SC Minnie]

Dh is very hard to buy for. He likes music but buys CD's as soon as they come out. I will ask what he wants but sometimes like to surprise him with something.

I think the best ones I've surprised him with was a Donald Duck watch (his fac character). It is all silver and the Donald Duck is very subtle so he can wear it to work. Another one was a share of Disney stock that I bought and had framed. It's the gift that keeps on giving as he gets a dividend check every year. This year's was less than a dollar but hey.

 

[Praying Colonel]

It's not just a guy thing. Every Christmas and birthday DW says, "Oh, I don't know--just get me something you think I'd like." Yeah, thanks for the help, honey.

 

[clh2]

Just tossing a couple of car-related ideas out there - what about either a GC to have his car detailed? Or - if that is too much money what about a GC to have the "really good wash" (i.e. the one that is ~$25)?

My DH loves a nice looking car - especially in the winter - with all the snow and yuck stuff.

 

[burnurcomputer]

You just need to get a bit sneaky. You can check out his favorite sites via his history and see what he has been looking at to get an idea. Or you could ask him to make a list on a page like Amazon that has items that he likes and that he can add on to all year long.

My DH is also very hard to shop for. He doesn't like sports, car racing, or anything like that. If he wants a new game, he will get it. If he needs a computer part, he will get it. If he needs a new pair of pants he will go buy it himself. These wonderful self serving (in the best way possible) men can be a major pain to shop for !

You can also try to get him practical things that he would like or need. I find that works well for my DH. Like I will get replacement heads for his shaver, or get him a gift card to a web site he likes so he can get something he has been looking at. Something that makes his life easier so when he needs a new head he doesn't have to trouble himself with waiting for a new one. I will get him flowers delivered because he likes flowers, but its not something a woman "normally" gets for a man in a love/birthday situation. He really likes the practical gifts becuase it tells him that I pay attention to him and his needs on a daily basis, wehich , in his love language, translates in love and security

 

[focusondisney]

Dh's birthday is a week before Valentine's Day. Every year I go through the same agony of trying to figure out a gift for him. I really want to surprise him but I fail miserably. And every year I wind up asking him what he wants.


This year I think I'll just cut to the chase, spare myself the agony and just ask him.

Ugh, I hear you OP! I'm in the same boat, but my DH's birthday is this weekend! The stores used to have some spring clothes out by now, but they don't seem to do that anymore. I used to get him sweaters for Christmas, then short sleeved polos for his birthday but can't do that this year. He stopped buying cds, just uses his Ipod. We go to a lot of movies & have a pretty good cable package, so he doesn't want a lot of DVDs. We already split seasons tickets for hockey, so can't buy him those tickets. He's a fanatic about his car, takes excellent care of it himself & would never let anyone else detail it! Gift certificates for restaurants & movies seem pretty impersonal to get from your wife.

I'm reduced to dress/work shirts & a few books.

 

[SpecialK]

I'm lucky that my husband has a lot of hobbies so I always have a lot of choices for gifts.

In our house, I'm the one who's difficult to buy for, but I'm usually pleasantly surprised. Last Christmas my husband gave me something I'd mentioned months before. I couldn't believe he'd remembered.

 

[Micca]

Speaking as a life-long male, gift cards are great! I know that some people feel like that's so impersonal and that they can do better if they try. I don't think most guys feel that way. We know we're not the easiest to buy for, so don't sweat it. Amazon is tremendous because they have nearly everything. Gadgets, electronics, movies/music, computers--Best Buy. Even Target has an amazing selection of stuff especially on their website. With these choices you don't even have to guess what they really like or want.

It's nice to get stuff you like, but it's better to get gift cards than stuff you don't really care about.

 

[pixiewings71]

DBF's birthday was yesterday so I have 2 weeks between Christmas and his birthday. lol It isn't fun, some years he can be really hard to shop for! This year he got a new iPhone 5 (his first smart phone) for a combination birthday/Christmas gift, I also took him to some fish stores so he could look at saltwater corals (he's big into reefkeeping) and he did buy a few. I also took him to lunch (Benihana sends out a $30 certificate towards the birthday persons meal, can't beat that). We basically just did whatever he wanted to do for the day. The girls gave him some Star Trek shot glasses and DD16 drew him a card with the Enterprise on it that said "we owe you a trip to see Star Trek Into The Darkness when it opens in May", he was ecstatic with that! LOL I have to be sneaky, I had a whole big list of things I was going to buy but right before Christmas he went ahead and bought of the same things so I was stuck.....LOL

 

[newt2]

My wife says I'm hard to shop for but I think I'm pretty easy.

If it's something related to fast cars, Disney or something that gets you intoxicated, chances are I'll like it.

There's other gifts that would be very much appreciated also but this is a family forum...

 

[Bob NC]

It's not just a guy thing. Every Christmas and birthday DW says, "Oh, I don't know--just get me something you think I'd like." Yeah, thanks for the help, honey.

Gifts are more important to some folks than others.

My wife and I are the same way, neither of us cares much about birthday or Christmas gifts. We like suprising the kids with things that we know they'll like, but for us, the whole novelty of needing a huge suprise when opening gifts kinda went away when we turned 12.

For Christmas I got my wife a Kindle Paperwhite, and she got me a new brief/laptop case. I can't in a million years imagine opening my gift and being upset that she didn't get me 'what I wanted.' If I want something, I buy it. When she wants something, she buys it.

Sometimes for gifts we don't get each other anything, but, we'll go and buy something together, maybe a tv, maybe a cruise, maybe a Disney Vacation.

Rather than being 'hard to buy for', maybe he just doesn't care all that much.

 

[Zerosinthecloset]

Maybe he would like a gift card to Harbor Freight...if there is one in your area.