who wants to trade family members for the holidays?

[budbeerlady]

you can print a blank bingo card here
http://www.bingocardprinter.com/bingo_blank.php


and I wasn't joking -- it really helps! When we've had a day that we'd rather not repeat, we get home, get a snack and put on our pj's. Often times we are in bed whispering back and forth so the kids don't hear.....we each get a pencil to track what squares we won on the card and before long, we're in tears laughing so hard.

I know that may sounds cruel but honestly, it's the only way I can get thru the dysfunctional holiday sometimes.

I think we need a seperate thread after Thanksgiving to see who gets the most squares on their card filled in one family event!

 

[pklein09]

I'd like to donate my DH's family...except his Dad...he doesn't say much.

Newly-wed, this May, I'm trying very hard to adjust to his family, or at least have some sort of acceptance....it's not working.

When learning that DH and I became engaged, his Aunt and mother took it upon themselves to find someone more appropriate for him...to the point of driving to places of business to find girls that they've heard about in the community.

His two male cousins were employed by the family to convince DH that he should not marry someone outside of his nationality (he considers himself American btw)...and dilute his proud blood line...really??? DH didn't get that either.

So, every holiday, we visit with my family and have an early dinner and then go to his family's house where everyone just pretends to be nice to everyone else. Given the chance, they talk about anyone who happens to leave the room. Usually, I end up sitting quietly at the table and don't say a word...although they all speak English, it's all Armenian at that dinner table and DH tries very hard to translate for me (he's getting better at it ). I since learned the slang word for non-Armenian, so I can figure out they are speaking about me when DH leaves the room.


I will take any, any family that will speak English around me and not look down on me for being American/Korean mix. Crazy or not...I'll take your family!

I feel for you. My husband is Jewish and I'm Catholic. After almost 19 years of marriage, I'm still the shiksa who stole her son. I don't want to go any further because I don't want to hijack the thread. I would have thrown in my in-laws in my first post except they don't celebrate Christmas, which makes my Christmas soooooooooo much better.

 

[RoseColoredGlasses]

I've got a SIL like Hambirg, the two of them would make quite the pair. She always turns up her nose no matter what she gets or if you get her exactly what she asked for she will laugh and say "Oh I thought you knew I was joking when I said I wanted this". As for the grandparents, restaurant coupons are great! Go to Restaurants.com and you can get gift certificates for fractions of what they are worth. And just recently they changed them so that they won't expire. Hope that helps!

 

[Worfiedoodles]

I feel for you. My husband is Jewish and I'm Catholic. After almost 19 years of marriage, I'm still the shiksa who stole her son. I don't want to go any further because I don't want to hijack the thread. I would have thrown in my in-laws in my first post except they don't celebrate Christmas, which makes my Christmas soooooooooo much better.

I think you have the longest trial -- 8 days of Hannukah is a really long time with a Jewish mother who thinks you took her baby away...

I'm also going to throw this out there, because I think it's bizarre. My dh is from NH. His family likes to tell ethnic jokes about French-Canadians. I am from the Midwest USA, and I just don't get it. It would be offensive if they substituted another ethnic group -- but using French-Canadian it just sounds like they have no idea what they are talking about! I just look at them puzzled and they wander away...

Maria

 

[DVCBELLE]

I think we need a seperate thread after Thanksgiving to see who gets the most squares on their card filled in one family event!

I think there could be a drinking game instead .... of course it sounds like a lot of people on here would end up very drunk!!

 

[ohlas]

Merry X-mas to me this year.

How to have a nice hoilday, make evil family member so made at you that they never want to talk to you again. Live in blessed peace, without the crazy ones.

Would trade mil, but she isnt talking to me so i couldnt even arrange an exchange. Srry. lol

Why you ask isnt she talking to me this time... well lets see it all started at my hanicapped sons graduation, where she tried to talk to exhusband and his wife of 30 years, was rude to them and wife told her drop dead. month later exhusband died, mil ran around to all 3 of her sons asking them to defend her and tell wife off before and after newly widowed. All sons said no, so she nagged and nagged and cryed about how no one loves her etc etc. Well one week before we left to go to disney she came over her with the whineing, nagging, crying about how noone loves her started a big fight with husband who just lost his dad 60 days before (cold hearted *****). She always starts in on him and fights 75 percent of the time she comes over and he is here. I got so sick of it i yelled and asked her to leave the house and not come back till she can learn to not fight infront of my child.

So im getting coal for xmas and loving it

ps she was also mad because i wouldnt take her to disney with us. she cannt keep her mouth shut long enough to not insult or pick fight with her son every time she sees him and she wants us to take her with us like hell to the noooooooooooooooooo.....

 

[Ava]

As for family members to toss in the pot....can I toss in my cousin? He only shows up at the family party to collect his daughter's gift. It's a pollyanna, so the rest of us give pretty nice $25 gifts. Them? They maybe spend between $10 - $15 on the gift. We always dread who they have to buy for...that kid always gets the short end of the stick. This year, it's my daughter. Oh, well.

It sounds like we have the same cousin. Except with mine there were years where she didn't show up AT ALL so whomever was supposed to get a gift from her got nothing. Thankfully my extended family has stopped exchanging gifts so we don't have to worry about it any more.

 

[Inigo]

I think there could be a drinking game instead .... of course it sounds like a lot of people on here would end up very drunk!!

I've already started drinking in preparation!!! Anyone want a drink? The bar is open!

I offer my niece. She is 36 years old, has a live-in boyfriend who doesn't work and can't drive (because of multiple DUI's). He insists on bringing his guitar and singing at the holiday get togethers even though he has no talent. (We all walk away!) She complains about having no money, and gets upset when anyone has anything nice. Of course if the idiot boyfriend would get a job... Her parents GAVE her a three bedroom house so she doesn't have to pay rent/mortgage, and they also paid off her car for her.

She doesn't like kids so no one is allowed to show pictures of the kids. After all, the kids are there so why do we need to look at or share pictures? She gets jealous when the kids get attention. Fortunately for my kids, they're 23 and 19, so they understand she's odd. The little kids (1, 4, and 7) think she's scary!

She spends time telling me my doctors are wrong and what I should be doing for my illnesses. After all, she is a medical professional. (2 year nursing degree that took her 7 years to complete, so of course she knows more than my doctors who specialize in my illnesses!)

Her nursing job is more important than any of our jobs, and she tells us all the time.

If she thinks you say something stupid, she'll go "Derrr" and crook her arm up in front of her in what I suppose she considers to be a caricature of a mentally retarded person.

Any takers? I'll be refilling the ice bucket while I wait...

 

[Belle5]

I've already started drinking in preparation!!! Anyone want a drink? The bar is open!

I offer my niece. She is 36 years old, has a live-in boyfriend who doesn't work and can't drive (because of multiple DUI's). He insists on bringing his guitar and singing at the holiday get togethers even though he has no talent. (We all walk away!) She complains about having no money, and gets upset when anyone has anything nice. Of course if the idiot boyfriend would get a job... Her parents GAVE her a three bedroom house so she doesn't have to pay rent/mortgage, and they also paid off her car for her.

She doesn't like kids so no one is allowed to show pictures of the kids. After all, the kids are there so why do we need to look at or share pictures? She gets jealous when the kids get attention. Fortunately for my kids, they're 23 and 19, so they understand she's odd. The little kids (1, 4, and 7) think she's scary!

She spends time telling me my doctors are wrong and what I should be doing for my illnesses. After all, she is a medical professional. (2 year nursing degree that took her 7 years to complete, so of course she knows more than my doctors who specialize in my illnesses!)

Her nursing job is more important than any of our jobs, and she tells us all the time.

If she thinks you say something stupid, she'll go "Derrr" and crook her arm up in front of her in what I suppose she considers to be a caricature of a mentally retarded person.

Any takers? I'll be refilling the ice bucket while I wait...

While your niece sounds like a real prize , I am not sure the drink-fest is the best solution. Have you noticed about half the complaints so far have been about relatives who ruin everything by their drunken behavior? I like the solution of spending every Christmas on vacation away from the nuts.

 

[leadfootlevi]

WHAT?!?! 9 pages and no one has offered their DH?!? Let me be the first...He's just like his mother - constantly making other people's business their own, complaining non-stop and dragging all of those around them down, talking about how GREAT they are and how un-great you are.

I think i just made myself a new-years resolution.

 

[Karenj2]

I was reading this, feeling very grateful that I don't have any family members that I'd like to add to the pot, when I realized I *do* have someone to add!

My contribution is my Aunt-in-law ("P"). The sort-ish explaination why is this: DH's mom is one of 14 in an Irish Catholic family. The whole family was VERY close to each other up until late June 2009, when we were suddenly called to the hospital to say our goodbyes to DH's other Aunt ("K"), who was dying of liver failure. (She was an alcoholic, which everyone knew - or should have known - but what we didn't know was that she had chosen to continue to drink instead of getting sober so she could get a liver transplant.) Her husband ("O") had made a promise to her that he not tell any of her siblings - AT ALL - which he broke when K ended up in the hospital. (She was serious about it, and was actually not speaking to O for a few days while in ICU because he "ratted her out". Luckily, when she went home to die, her attitude softened towards him.

After K died, the P (and two other siblings) went on a rampage on O, if he was invited to something, she wouldn't attend. P didn't invite him to her daughter's wedding, and the kicker was Christmas Eve last year... He was invited to Christmas Eve at P's house in the email blast that they send out to everyone, and when he showed up at the door, she yelled at him and told him to get out, that he was not welcome. So, on the first Christmas Eve after his wife died, he was sent away from the extended family that he loved (despite her) to go home, alone. (We arrived late, and only found out about it later) And the kicker of this whole thing is, she's a "peace loving" mediation counselor in her school district.

We'll see what the attitude is this year at Thanksgiving, and if she's still bent out of shape, we're boycotting his family's get together.

 

[cheap traveler]

I would like to offer for trade: Me and my 2 DDs.
I am 28, single, don't drink, hate confrontation, give thoughtful gifts, and take care of my own children.
DD6 (almost 7) is a wonderful, smart little girl with an amazing smile. She has trouble with anxiety, so she won't stray too far from my side in a new situation. She is too used to getting snide comments from my DMom because she doesn't like to be hugged/kissed unless she is in the mood. (I have a bad habit of teaching my girls they don't have to accept any touches they don't like. DMom thinks this is crazy)
DD4.5 is a doll - she will entertain the whole room, smiles nonstop, snuggles with everyone, talks nonstop though. Gets along with everyone

We will come to your house, bring gifts, clean up after ourselves and help you clean up too, enhance your celebration, and not cause any drama.

Now, if you would like you can send your disfunctional family member(s) to celebrate with my family. DMom will berate you and your children if you do anything she has decided you shouldn't, or if the children don't give kisses on demand. She will also snap at anyone who is in the kitchen trying to help prepare the meal, or be snotty to you if you don't help with the meal. She will buy you and your kids useless junk that you have asked her for YEARS not to buy. Oh, and make sure you eat your vegetables or you will hear about it, even if you are grown.

DStepfather - he is great, but doesn't shop, so don't expect any gifts. And make sure you have a 2nd room to hang out in, because he is going to fall asleep on the couch after the meal. He really is a good person - no wonder he is divorcing DMom!

Dsis29 - she isn't so bad, but you have to work the celebration around her sleep schedule. And this year she will have her new husband - don't even get me started on him!
Dsis32 - she won't return your calls to let you know if she is coming, but you better make sure you get her gifts just in case!
DBro21 - deadbeat, nasty attitude, but he will leave before dinner
DBro33 - he will sit quietly in the living room, playing video games, so he is no trouble. Just hope one of his 4 kids doesn't get into trouble, because he will be no help.


All in all, none of them get along with more than 2 of the others, so don't expect any peace. Make sure you include on your bingo card - so-and-so sneaks outside to smoke some pot, a dish gets broken when someone gets pissed off and throws it in the sink, and the rolls get burnt in the oven (its a tradition)

 

[Figment1990]

On the plus side, they live on the other side of the country and we only see them once a year. The once a year is NOT during the holiday season!

I would LOVE to know how you manage this feat??? Please share - if we only see my ILs 1x a year its ALWAYS for the holidays. I'll offer up a MIL and SIL to whoever wants them!

Holidays? What are those? I have a vague memory of those from my childhood, but they couldn't possibly be the same thing I experience now??? Those memories are full of happy times, laughter, and generally getting actually relax or have fun on my own, with my sister, or whoever happened to come over our house. Now, it's: pull up a piece of floor to sleep on for 5 nights and don't forget to take a number to get a shower before we run out of hot water and NO what on earth makes you think that you can just duck out of here for 2 hours on Black Friday (or on Dec 26) and go to the MALL!?!?!?

Add my to the "my-MIL-thinks-the-sun-shines-out-of-my-SIL's-butt and her-granddaughter-can-do-no-wrong" list.

When DH and I got married, I was #4 on the list (DH's Sis and BIL were 1 & 2, then DH followed by me...). Now I'm number #6, DNiece and my son have passed up BIL.... Problem is, my son now has to measure up to my niece, and he gets every same gift MIL has ever given her for 1st bday, 1st christmas, etc etc. I don't know what will happen when we hit the point that my niece started receiving Barbie dolls!

And to the dreaded "what do you want for christmas this year, even though I'll just ignore it" email list.

My MIL is known for giving clothing gifts every year and she refuses to give you a gift receipt until after you have tried it on. My clothes from her never fit, so I either have to publicly fess up that I'm too fat to fit into the same clothes that you bought for my 6 foot, 110 pound SIL (I'm 5'4 and NOT 110lbs!) or I suck it up and take it home and throw it in the back of my closet.

And add me to the 5-days with NO TV allowed (except FILs sporting events) list.

And: "Yes, we know we all have digital cameras but we really must take these family pictures with ever possible combination of groups with every single one of our 10 cameras. And then post them to the internet everywhere, and we don't really care that you are 8 months pregnant and feel miserable about how you look but really, couldn't you have worn something more special than jeans and to DH: are you growing a beard now, would it kill you to shave?"

The worst part is just losing complete and total control over getting to do anything at all that I want to do for my family or myself over the holiday. I can understand if we had input, but it's basically, "jump when I say jump and if you dare cross me, I'll make you miserable and cause a big fight between you and my son." Which happens a lot when we go there for the holidays. Which is also a reason I dread going....

I swear one of these days I am going to buy an island in the Caribbean and spend every holiday there by myself! Although after reading this thread I suspect I might have a lot of company...

Whew! Thank you all for listening - that helped!

 

[Figment1990]

Just had to add... tomorrow I'll come back and post about my own side of the family, whose holiday drama is just as bad as my IL side....

Really, is it any wonder that Disney charges thru the roof for rooms over Christmas/NYE? Just look at all of us who need a place to escape our crazy family holiday drama...

 

[Pumbaa_]

I would LOVE to know how you manage this feat??? Please share - if we only see my ILs 1x a year its ALWAYS for the holidays.

Just say no! We want to start new family traditions - we will visit you every year at (insert month here) and then stay at a hotel

traveleing at the holidays is expensive
And best of all, packing up the kids is not fair to them

Try it, I promise you will like it

 

[Figment1990]

Just say no! We want to start new family traditions - we will visit you every year at (insert month here) and then stay at a hotel

traveleing at the holidays is expensive
And best of all, packing up the kids is not fair to them

Try it, I promise you will like it

Sounds great... except DH won't do it (yet, i'm still working on it). MIL spends the whole year lamenting how we live so far away from each other (We're only 4 hours from them, they are retired and come multiple times throughout the year. But my SILs family is a plane ride or long drive away and never accepts our invitations to our house). SIL will only go to MILs, so MIL tells DH "you only get to see your sister once a year..." and all that crap (which is not our choice, it's SILs). So we have to go when SIL can go. DH is not good at standing up to his family at all (which is why they run all over him and us). One year, we simply could not go because of work (DH usually has to request off, and could not that year) and we invited ALL of them down to our house. They stayed for 18 hours and left so SIL could go visit her friends. But if we leave even 6 hours earlier than planned, MIL does the "we're very disappointed in you, you must not love your sister like I thought you did" to my DH. DH is sensitive and she upsets him, and that ticks me off because I"m protective of him.

DH and I work in a retail industry and both of us really only get 1 day off for thanksgiving and 2 days off for christmas. But every single year MIL says "oh?! Your store is open today?!" They were teachers and cannot fathom that some people might have to work on Dec 24, Dec 26, or the two days after thanksgiving.

I'm planning to have another baby next year in December to put an end to this tradition! I can't WAIT!

 

[leight]

this is so much fun! I already offered my mom & brother but I thought I will sweeten the pot! My mom now wants me to chip in so that she can afford life insurance to pay her mortgage so my brother will have a house for free. I should help since I can keep a job and earn a decent income and won't need the inheritance. Instead of paying for this life insurance I thought that I would go thru the garage and offer gifts she's given me that I couldn't return: maternity clothes last year (not pg and her way of telling me I'd gained weight), a 4 ft stone statue of a manatee holding a manatee baby (no explanation) dollar store pots, and the half used jc penny gift card-she used it and then gave it to me last xmas.

I'll even offer U at trip to fl(we're only an hour from WDW- although my mom will ask you how an adult could love an amusement park everyhour) in exch for swapping with someone in NY so we can visit dh's family who I actually like more. Any takers???


I love the bingo cards- I am definately going to keep that in mind for Xmas, thank you!

 

[sunnyday123]

Who was it that was requesting a full family? I will gladly give you mine.

DMom-don't dare weigh more than 80 lbs, she'll name 75 people who are overweight, and go on and on for hours about their obesity in her passive agressive way of telling you you're fat. Then she'll go on and on about SIL wearing a size 0-A SIZE 0-, and tell you she was going to buy the same shirt for you...but they didn't have your size. ( apparently medium/sz 8 is obese) She will criticize every single thing you do, try to take a picture of you then say "forget it, you make stupid faces" if you dare smile, and then snap "Just go sit down" if you try to help.

Dbrother-the most foulest, miserable human being on the earth. He's 33, lives with our Dfather, and lazy. He pays no bills, has never purchased clothing for himself, and complains about everything. He comes with three kids, an 11 year old who already has the temperment of a surly teenager, a 6 year old who screams if you try to talk to him, and a 2 yr old who is the 2nd coming of Jesus. He is the best and the brightest and they will argue with you until you agree.

Dsil-wife to the above. You may have to wake her up for dinner, since she sleeps till 3pm everyday. On the bright side, the 2 yr old has learned to play on his own in his crib very well.

DUncle-cusses so much the air turns blue. He also feels women are stupid, and nothing more than something to look at, and will tell you just how stupid and insignificant you are, and how much better he is. He expects you to bow down to him and recognize his greatness, and freely hand him money that he will never repay.

DAunt-above Uncles wife. She'll get so drunk she slurs her words, then tell you in great detail about how horrible their fights are, all of their illegal activities, and where exactly puts her weed when she flys. Yep, that's where she puts it.

Ex husband-mine, who drops DD off at my Mom's house, and will get invited in for drinks. My mother greets him more warmly than she does me, and tells everyone we're divorced because I was "hard to live with" and how lucky I am to have him as an ex because he's wonderful. I guess I was hard to live with, what with me complaining about his cheating and hitting me.

I think this year I'm going to become Jewish.

 

[punkin]

I think this year I'm going to become Jewish.

It won't help. You'll still have Thanksgiving to deal with...and then there's Passover. Oy Vey!!! Don't do it. Trust me.

 

[pklein09]

It won't help. You'll still have Thanksgiving to deal with...and then there's Passover. Oy Vey!!! Don't do it. Trust me.

Agreed! It won't help.