Who wants to discuss their long distance relationships?

[sand2270]

Hi all. Thought I would see if those on the adult/solo boards who are or were in long distance relationships with the one they love would like a place to chat about it (how do you handle it, offer support, vent if necessary ). I don't want to hijack other threads with this topic so thought I would create a new one.

I'll start. I have been dating my DBF for about 2 1/2 years. I am in Tucson and he is in Denver. We both have kids which has prevented either of us from moving. We love each other and are committed to each other so we are just taking it one day at a time. I personally never thought I could do a LDR but I guess when you meet the right person you do what you can to make it work.

 

[jpringle]

I am also in a long distance relationship, it is very hard only seeing each other a few times a year. What makes it particularly hard is we both live in different countries, I'm in England and my girlfriend is in Canada. We are both looking forward to May when shes comes over here for nine nights. Then we are both heading for WDW in October for a week . We have found MSN and Skype very useful for keeping in touch the five hour time difference doesn't help though.

James

 

[sand2270]

I am also in a long distance relationship, it is very hard only seeing each other a few times a year. What makes it particularly hard is we both live in different countries, I'm in England and my girlfriend is in Canada. We are both looking forward to May when shes comes over here for nine nights. Then we are both heading for WDW in October for a week . We have found MSN and Skype very useful for keeping in touch the five hour time difference doesn't help though.

James

That is quite a distance. My DBF spent over 6 months in Tokyo last year, it was very hard but we survived. Instant messenger was definitely our friend. What keeps me going is looking forward to the next time we see each other.

How did you meet?

 

[blondie7]

That is quite a distance. My DBF spent over 6 months in Tokyo last year, it was very hard but we survived. Instant messenger was definitely our friend. What keeps me going is looking forward to the next time we see each other.

How did you meet?

I can answer that. I am James girlfriend. We met here and Dismates. We both shared a love for Disney started talking and then before we knew it we were in love. We met in August and James came over to visit me in Jan/Feb for a few days. As he said I am going over there in May. I can't wait. I am also looking forward to our trip to WDW in October. The distance is hard but true love is worth every hardship and I am positive we will end up together in the end. It must have been difficult when your DBF was in Toyko the time difference is the hardest part to deal with. We really only get to talk on weekends. Good luck to you and your DBF I know with kids it is even more difficult.

 

[CoMickey]

Hi all. Thought I would see if those on the adult/solo boards who are or were in long distance relationships with the one they love would like a place to chat about it (how do you handle it, offer support, vent if necessary ). I don't want to hijack other threads with this topic so thought I would create a new one.

I'll start. I have been dating my DBF for about 2 1/2 years. I am in Tucson and he is in Denver. We both have kids which has prevented either of us from moving. We love each other and are committed to each other so we are just taking it one day at a time. I personally never thought I could do a LDR but I guess when you meet the right person you do what you can to make it work.

Hi there! I'll jump in. My DBF just left this morning after a wonderfully long weekend visit. I live in Denver and my DBF lives in LA. We met at WDW last July 4th and have been lucky enough to meet at least once a month but usually are able to fit in twice a month. I work from home and can take my job anywhere so I am able to go to visit him for longer periods. I will be seeing him again beginning April 24 until May 5th!

I agree that I wasn't so sure about a LDR either but here we are and I know that I made the right choice in sticking with it. He has two children still in school and I have one DD who is in college. We had 'the talk' this weekend and I am so excited! Neither of us had really seriously brought up the subject of moving just said 'what if's', but we did talk about it this weekend and I can't wait! My lease on my aprartment isn't up until Sep. so I won't be moving right away but at least there is an end in sight!

 

[sand2270]

Hi there! I'll jump in. My DBF just left this morning after a wonderfully long weekend visit. I live in Denver and my DBF lives in LA. We met at WDW last July 4th and have been lucky enough to meet at least once a month but usually are able to fit in twice a month. I work from home and can take my job anywhere so I am able to go to visit him for longer periods. I will be seeing him again beginning April 24 until May 5th!

I agree that I wasn't so sure about a LDR either but here we are and I know that I made the right choice in sticking with it. He has two children still in school and I have one DD who is in college. We had 'the talk' this weekend and I am so excited! Neither of us had really seriously brought up the subject of moving just said 'what if's', but we did talk about it this weekend and I can't wait! My lease on my aprartment isn't up until Sep. so I won't be moving right away but at least there is an end in sight!

That's great. I hope it works out. If you move to LA you would also be much closer to your daughter at ASU .

 

[sand2270]

it's nice to talk to people going through the same thing.

 

[Devil_Dog99]

Hi there. Was going to read the posts and move along, but considering DW has been calling our marriage a LDR lately, figured I would give my .02:

I am a travelling consultant in the computer industry. When I work from home (like this week), I can roll out of bed, put a t-shirt on, and I am ready for work. Unfortunately I have been traveling most of the past nine months and I found out today I could be going for a four month gig in Wisconsin when I am done in Durham NC and after a week long trip to Chicago.

We have been married 15 years and I have had this job for 3. Not that we had problems before, but my traveling has brought us closer. As she says - we dont have time to argue . We use e-mail, and I call her no less than 4 times a day - morning, noon, night and bedtime. Most times, it is just 'hi how are you' and less than three minutes long. Othertimes we'll talk for an hour. She knows how much I love my job and I remind her what I told her when I first took it - the worst part is the time between 5 pm one night and 8 am the next morning. We have made it work.

Good luck to all you couples in a true LDR - I feel a little guilty posting because I do get to see DW every weekend. But those 48 hours seem oh so short, then it's off to the airport again.

 

[sand2270]

Hi there. Was going to read the posts and move along, but considering DW has been calling our marriage a LDR lately, figured I would give my .02:

I am a travelling consultant in the computer industry. When I work from home (like this week), I can roll out of bed, put a t-shirt on, and I am ready for work. Unfortunately I have been traveling most of the past nine months and I found out today I could be going for a four month gig in Wisconsin when I am done in Durham NC and after a week long trip to Chicago.

We have been married 15 years and I have had this job for 3. Not that we had problems before, but my traveling has brought us closer. As she says - we dont have time to argue . We use e-mail, and I call her no less than 4 times a day - morning, noon, night and bedtime. Most times, it is just 'hi how are you' and less than three minutes long. Othertimes we'll talk for an hour. She knows how much I love my job and I remind her what I told her when I first took it - the worst part is the time between 5 pm one night and 8 am the next morning. We have made it work.

Good luck to all you couples in a true LDR - I feel a little guilty posting because I do get to see DW every weekend. But those 48 hours seem oh so short, then it's off to the airport again.

I can relate. With my DBF's job even if one of us move he still travels a lot for work. He was in Tokyo for 8 months last year, so even if we lived in the same city I still would have hardly seen him. Tha's also why it doesn't make sense for me to move to Denver since he is gone a lot and at least I have my family and friends here.

I don't see that as an entirely bad thing. I think one of the reasons this relationship works is we are both the type of people that need our space. Now granted, living in 2 different states is a little more space than I need. But the nice thing is we are so happy to see each other that we rarely fight and it feels like we are still in the honeymoon phase.

 

[djblu883]

well this one is certainly a bit different..my soulmate is in prison...yes I knew him before and its been 10 years. He is in for DUI manslaughter. He is a great guy who made a very horrible decision to drink and drive.... I tried dating outside the relationship at his request BUT I've stuck by him and he supports my love of Disney. We spend as much time together as we can(weekend visits)...and share our dreams as well as our frustrations together...recently he was moved to work release...this means in a few months I can take him home on weekends...and in a year possibly to WDW again for the first time in many many years...we plan a Disney re-wedding to celebrate his release...

 

[beansmom]

oh, my! That must be awful hard.

My fiance lives in the Boston area and I live in Dallas...circumstances also prevent us from being together right now. We're working on changing that within the year, tho!

He'd not been to DW in years and we went last year together and now it's one of 'our places'.

LDRs ARE hard but we fly back and forth a bit...in fact, he'll be with me in 3 weeks for my birthday. I think I just have to say I believe the old saying 'love conquers all'.

 

[MagiKitty]

Wow! I just found this thread. Its good to know there are others out there in a similar situation to mine.

I'm in NY, my BF is in Kansas, we've been together three years. We see each other several times during the year, as scheduling permits. WDW is our special place, we plan an extended week's vacation together every year.

I don't usually bring up that I'm in a LDR, people have doubts that it can really work. But I talk to my BF every night, and that's more than some people who live in the same house!

Be strong everyone! Our sweeties may not be with us everyday, but they're in our hearts and minds.

 

[sand2270]

I don't usually bring up that I'm in a LDR, people have doubts that it can really work. But I talk to my BF every night, and that's more than some people who live in the same house!

That is what I struggle with. Neither of us are in a place where we can move right now. We know we will end up together we just don't know when. While this has been one of the hardest things I have ever done at the same time I have never felt this way about anyone. What I mean is, I don't think I could have an LDR with anyone else...this is who I want to be with and this is just the barrier we have to put up with right now.

But I have also started limiting what I say to my friends because I get a lot of pressure and criticism. All of my friends seem to think I need to find someone who lives close by, is ready to get married and settle down. Well, I already had that, I got married when I was 25 and was never really happy in the relationship. I would rather do a LDR with someone I really love and care about than have a relationship with someone who lives close by but that I don't really feel the same way about. Marriage is not my goal, being with the right person is my goal.

It is also funny coming from people who are in a relationship and live together/are married but they hate each other (or just don't seem to like each other very much). I can't say what will happen when we are finally in the same place, but for now I know that the time we do have together is usually happy and fun, I cry when he leaves, but we are so happy to see each other when he returns. We do fight, but not much, and it always just brings us closer.

 

[MagiKitty]

I always think that relationships, whether in proximity or distance, takes a lot of work. I always say I wouldn't recommend LDR to anyone, I won't deny it really gets tough sometimes. But I always think about how BLESSED I am to have found this amazing person, this happiness, that its worth fighting for and dealing with whatever hardship may come our way.

We too do not know when we will be able to move and be together "full time", but I do know that it will happen and I look forward to that day.

 

[CoMickey]

Hi all - Although it doesn't making being away from our LDR's any easier, it is comforting to be able to share with others that understand!

I am currently in LA with Mr. CA and have been since April 24 and I am already dreading leaving on Monday, May 5th. We are going to Disneyland on Friday and Saturday...so excited!

We'll be together again the weekend of May 16th we're both flying to Phoenix for my DD's birthday (they haven't met yet and it's been 9 months!) but it still is hard being away from him for even one day especially after spending this much time with him. It really makes the withdrawal that much more difficult then a weekend visit.

How did all of you meet your LDR's? Maybe you already wrote that but I have memory failure!

Hey DJblue - have you already been to Disneyland?

Waiting for Mr. CA to get home from work so we can go out on a 'date'...woo hoo! We've had his kids the entire time I've been here so this will be our night! Do any of your LDR's have kids? Being in a relationship with kids is a new experience for me, the other man that I dated for long term did not have any kids and I wasn't sure how it would be but it's working out great so far. The kids and I get along really well and they don't seem to mind that I am getting some of their dad's attention. Whew!

Take care everyone!

 

[MagiKitty]

Oh, CoMickey, I know exactly how you feel! It doesn't help that I'm a complete wreck when its time to go. I'm the crazy girl in the airport bawling uncontrollably. Its truly the most difficult part.

Bf and I, ahem, met online. We were in an advice chat room. I gave him advice on a problem he was having with a girl. We spoke once, and went our separate ways. Some time later, we ran into each other again and I asked about what happened to the girl. I guess my advice didn't work, because she and my now BF didn't get together. I myself was getting over someone and was on a self-proclaimed "man sabbatical". I told him we could talk, but no matter how charming he was, it was a no go.

I held out for about five months. I was in Canada visiting family and realized I wanted to talk to HIM and I couldn't b/c it would cost a fortune.

I've been in trouble (happily) with him ever since.

No, neither one of us have children. Have fun on your date! Enjoy your weekend!

 

[djblu883]

Hi all - Although it doesn't making being away from our LDR's any easier, it is comforting to be able to share with others that understand!

I am currently in LA with Mr. CA and have been since April 24 and I am already dreading leaving on Monday, May 5th. We are going to Disneyland on Friday and Saturday...so excited!

We'll be together again the weekend of May 16th we're both flying to Phoenix for my DD's birthday (they haven't met yet and it's been 9 months!) but it still is hard being away from him for even one day especially after spending this much time with him. It really makes the withdrawal that much more difficult then a weekend visit.

How did all of you meet your LDR's? Maybe you already wrote that but I have memory failure!

Hey DJblue - have you already been to Disneyland?

Waiting for Mr. CA to get home from work so we can go out on a 'date'...woo hoo! We've had his kids the entire time I've been here so this will be our night! Do any of your LDR's have kids? Being in a relationship with kids is a new experience for me, the other man that I dated for long term did not have any kids and I wasn't sure how it would be but it's working out great so far. The kids and I get along really well and they don't seem to mind that I am getting some of their dad's attention. Whew!

Take care everyone!

Yes I was there 2 weeks ago...I enjoyed it but still prefer WDW lol...I met my LDR at a bar...not good since he is now in trouble for DUI manslaughter...but he is a good man otherwise and hasn't tried to do that again although has that chance everyday!!!We hve been together for 16 years now. He traveled for work and we would spend most weekends together somewhere..camping and at home. He wold travel several states at times so we could be together...now It's my turn. I work on the road and travel to see him. We write and talk...It's hard not to have him there to share good and bad times with...he didn't see my grandaughter born...but they share a special bond now. He lost both parents in that time as well.life is what you make it so we do and still feel very blessed to have found one another...glad things go well for others in similar circumstances and know it can and does work!!

 

[beansmom]

my favorite thing is when my 'friend' tells me that my fiance isn't 'real' because we met online and he lives so far away. Gee, he sure SEEMS real when he's got his arms wrapped around me. Yup...real for real!

LOL. I also limit what I say...I don't care what people think but I don't have enough time to explain it all to everyone. The only people that truly matter are me and him and our children.

He IS my Prince Charming.

 

[sand2270]

Hi all. I realized yesterday that my post could have been taken the wrong way. I agree, LDR's are hard and I would not recommend them. This is probably one of the hardest things I have done. And while I know couples who are in the same place that aren't happy I also know many that are.

Really the only point I was trying to get across is this is what I have chosen as right for me right now. I love my friends and know they are looking out for my best interest, but I am the only one who can make the choices that are right for me. The same goes for everyone else. While I try hard not to judge others relationships because mine gets judged so often, I am human and do judge sometimes. But really everyone has to make the choices that work for them.

 

[MagiKitty]

Sand, I'm a little confused now! I read your post title as wanting to open a discussion about persons who share the same situation. What do you think has been taken the wrong way? Has it gone in a direction that you're not comfortable with? Please help me understand.