Who should pay for this?

[Hannathy]

The most important thing is the kids shouldn't be playing on or around those boxes period!!! EVER. There is a lot of electricity flowing thru those things and while they shouldn't get shocked, things happen. They also have been know to blow up or catch fire and it isn't pretty. the one in the corner of our yard had a blow out and fire several years ago. It was small but they have blown before.

OP tell you DD to not even go near those boxes and next time to just go tell an adult when someone does something like that.

The Electric company may not even do anything with it, depending on how deep it is scratched.

 

[lyncecelia]

I also wouldn't pay it because of the way the family might twist it around...but I would be "sneaky" too, lol. I'd take the family out to a nice dinner as my "payment" since my daughter did nothing wrong..

I like the suggestion to have the neighbor send your daughter home should this little girl show up. Not worth the trouble IMO...

 

[Anjelica]

So the parents of the child who did this state that she "wasn't even over there" yet she can state it was your daughter who did it? How would she know if she wasn't over there.

 

[threecrazykids]

So the parents of the child who did this state that she "wasn't even over there" yet she can state it was your daughter who did it? How would she know if she wasn't over there.

Exactly...if she was nowhere around she'd have no way of knowing. The reason she says my daughter did it is because this little girl told her mom that my daughter told to her the next day that she had done it. And she told my daughter she was going to do that if she got caught.

This little girl is entirely too good at lying and being deceitful for her age. there have been plenty of issues in the time that we've lived there. She (and her sister) make up completely bizarre lies, and now that the girls are a little older they don't buy into any of it and it's making them mad.

This little girl is SO worried her parents are going to be upset with her, she will lie straight to their face versus take the chance of being a disappointment. I don't think there is any physical abuse, but mental and verbal, yes. When this little girl used to come over (the first few months we lived there) she would tell us all sorts of stories about her Dad saying "we just don't fit in with all the rich people out here, they all have nicer houses and their kids are all perfect". Whatever. I don't for one second think my kid is a snowflake, but I absolutely CAN tell when they are lying. And I will push and push until they tell the truth. They on the other hand would rather just take their word and not care whether it's the truth or not.

 

[AmongMadPeople]

Is this the small box that everyone has on the side of their house? Or one of those big box type things that usually sits on corner lots? If it's the latter, there's no way the utility company should charge them as it's just the utility companies property that happens to be on their property. In which case, it was just basically graffiti that the homeowner had no control over.

The box is owned by the utility. Defacing it is vandalism, a crime. Parents need to teach kids not to touch these things at all. Kids have been harmed by putting their hands where they don't belong when a vandal has broken the lock, etc. The utility could press charges against the defacers but they usually do not. Again, the box is not owned by the homewner and the homeowner has no right to alter it in any way. The box is located in a utility easement. Any child who scratched this utility box was wrong to even touch the box and the parents need to impress that upon all concerned. It is defacing the property of a public utililty and could be dangerous.

^All of these things^ In fact, I'm confused as to how anyone talked to someone who told them the cost before agreeing to pay half. If that encounter went down like I'm interpreting it, whomever they talked to probably shouldn't be talking about replacement costs with a homeowner.

For what it is worth, when a neighborhood kid punched our mailbox in broad daylight, luckily with me near a window, I tracked down his father, told him what happened, and replaced the mailbox ourselves. His father offered to repair it, and I appreciated the offer, but all I was interested in was not letting a kid get away with the destruction of property. Luckily I was dealing with someone receptive to my point.

 

[angwill]

Offer to have your daughter (with your help or your husbands) come over and sand out the scratches and repaint.

This is what I would do as well. She will not only learn a lesson but also how to fix the box.

 

[threecrazykids]

^All of these things^ In fact, I'm confused as to how anyone talked to someone who told them the cost before agreeing to pay half. If that encounter went down like I'm interpreting it, whomever they talked to probably shouldn't be talking about replacement costs with a homeowner.

For what it is worth, when a neighborhood kid punched our mailbox in broad daylight, luckily with me near a window, I tracked down his father, told him what happened, and replaced the mailbox ourselves. His father offered to repair it, and I appreciated the offer, but all I was interested in was not letting a kid get away with the destruction of property. Luckily I was dealing with someone receptive to my point.

The utility company came out to assess the damages to the box.

I think what the owner is afraid of is that even though the utility company will do the repairs, that they may receive a bill for the repair to the box. I'm not sure the utility company would do anything about repairing it unless someone requested for it to be repaired. So in that case, the owner just wants to make sure they don't actually have to pay the bill SHOULD they get charged for the repair. Does that make sense?

 

[Mic]

You were right to offer to pay for half the cost to fix the electrical box since your daughter was "involved"(even though she was trying to do the right thing). The mean girl's parents are NOT going to pay anything...trust me, we have been in similar situations. So you and the homeowner/neighbor can share the cost, then your neighbor can let the mean girl's parents know she is not to come over to their yard again...period. You, of course, need to post on the girl's father's facebook wall the name of a good realtor. The world is full of kids and parents like this...no accountability in the 3rd grade leads to much worse by high school!

 

[ancestry]

I just wanted to add that vandalism is a crime and since it is known who scratched the box charges can be pressed. If this is the utility company's property they may choose to press charges against the children (and thus their parents) who are involved. At this point I think paying for it would be the least of my worries. I would be more concerned about charges being brought against my child and thus me.

If the property owner receive a bill I would offer to pay for 1/2 of it once again. If they refused to accept the money I would drop the issue. However keep in mind that your offer of paying for a portion of it implies guilt on the part of your daughter (i.e. she did scratch the box) and therefore if anyone (i.e. the utility company) presses charges then your daughter will be charged.

 

[DVCBELLE]

Now that you mention that the parents verbally abuse their kids...I would let it go. We have a neighborhood trouble maker but his parents are neglectful and we try to help him and be nice instead of shunning him. I have found the better he finds things with us and the neighbors - the better he behaves. I correct him but I don't involve his parents b/c I know that it will not do any good and probably get him into WAY more trouble than it should.

We invite him in to eat if we are eating - include him in things we are doing and it has really made a difference in how he treats our kids - he has stopped bullying them and now they play well together - mostly b/c he knows what is expected of him here and b/c he gets attention and is treated well at our house.

I am not saying you have to do this for this little girl but I would not push this issue any further with the parents - unfortunately it will not change how they parent and this little girl already has enough problems in life as it is.

 

[lyncecelia]

100%, why should they pay for someone else's kid?

Pixie dust your way!

 

[threecrazykids]

Now that you mention that the parents verbally abuse their kids...I would let it go. We have a neighborhood trouble maker but his parents are neglectful and we try to help him and be nice instead of shunning him. I have found the better he finds things with us and the neighbors - the better he behaves. I correct him but I don't involve his parents b/c I know that it will not do any good and probably get him into WAY more trouble than it should.

We invite him in to eat if we are eating - include him in things we are doing and it has really made a difference in how he treats our kids - he has stopped bullying them and now they play well together - mostly b/c he knows what is expected of him here and b/c he gets attention and is treated well at our house.

I am not saying you have to do this for this little girl but I would not push this issue any further with the parents - unfortunately it will not change how they parent and this little girl already has enough problems in life as it is.

This is what we tried the first few months we lived here as I learned quickly this little girl was trouble. Sadly there are 4 kids in our cul-de-sac who are all in the same grade, which makes it very hard to truly "separate" them entirely. I in turn only had allowed her to play with her if they came inside our house where I could monitor them. I gave up trying to talk to the parents about issues because they simply choose not to believe she does anything wrong. They came storming over when they found out that I had told my daughter she wasn't allowed to play with her outside. Oh well...

 

[tinatark]

Sounds like everything has been blown out of proportion - I would have a parent sand the letters out and spray paint the box again - with ALL the kids watching/assisting.

 

[JENOS]

Deep scratches made from a rock that a little kid was holding can’t be sanded out ……hmmm sounds to me like your neighbor is acting more on principle than reason. If my neighbors came over and wanted to interrogate my small child (even if at fault) I would have a few choice words to say. I am parent and I will discipline accordingly, tell her to sand it out, repaint and move on.

 

[AmongMadPeople]

The utility company came out to assess the damages to the box.

I think what the owner is afraid of is that even though the utility company will do the repairs, that they may receive a bill for the repair to the box. I'm not sure the utility company would do anything about repairing it unless someone requested for it to be repaired. So in that case, the owner just wants to make sure they don't actually have to pay the bill SHOULD they get charged for the repair. Does that make sense?

Okay, I thought the utility company just happened to be in the area and someone spoke with them. If the utility company wasn't going to charge them for the repair/replacement, they shouldn't have given anyone a price. I understand there are several sides to this story and information is being passed around, so maybe once it is all sorted out and everyone knows what is going on there will be no issue.

 

[AmongMadPeople]

So, today I get copied an email from the neighbor of the little girl who did it and it (sent to the neighbor who had damage) that says "when the electrical company was out today, we spoke with him and told them that although our daughter had NOTHING to do with this, we will be willing to pay for 1/2 the cost of the damage".

Ok, I think this is why I was confused. Did the homeowner whose yard this happened in talk with the utility company? So far I don't see any evidence that the utility company is going to charge anyone for this. Hopefully that is the case and you have nothing to worry about. I might bake some cookies for the neighbor you like once this is all over, not as an admission of guilt, but as a friendly acknowledgment of the troubles they've dealt with

 

[threecrazykids]

Ok, I think this is why I was confused. Did the homeowner whose yard this happened in talk with the utility company? So far I don't see any evidence that the utility company is going to charge anyone for this. Hopefully that is the case and you have nothing to worry about. I might bake some cookies for the neighbor you like once this is all over, not as an admission of guilt, but as a friendly acknowledgment of the troubles they've dealt with

So far we know nothing as far as if there will even be a cost associated with the repairs. And I'm hoping that is the case. However, if the homeowner IS billed for the repairs, I don't feel they should have to pay it. I will more than likely pay for 1/2 even though based on principal I don't feel we should, but still, my daughter DID cause damage, even though she was trying to cover up the other little girls graffiti.

I have explained to her that next time, she needs to NOT touch anything, and get an adult immediately, be it another parent, or myself.

 

[ADisneyQueen]

Can't they just put a piece of electical tape over the bad words?

 

[happygirl]

I think bothe girls are at fault. I would pay 1/2 and hope they electric company doesn't press charges

 

[JENOS]

WHAT, press charges (I know it a crime to vandalize) over this? You have to be joking I’m sure the electric company has better things to do. I swear this is why America is the land of the law suits becuase people interpretation of justice.