Who should I have in the delivery room with me? Who did you have?

[Sonya]

I figure while I am in labor I don't care if my familly and in-laws are in there with me as long as they don't distract me. I think they will help make the time go by faster than if it was just DH and me staring at each other with scared looks on our faces. But when it comes time for the actual birth my hospital says only 2 people. That would be DH and one other. Who should I pick, if anyone?

My mom-
She has never given birth (I was adopted) but would have had 10 kids if it were possible. She is so excited about this kid and I know she is dying for me to ask her. However my mom makes me a little crazy sometimes. I love her but she is a type A person who loves attention. She also might ignore my request that no pictures be taking of me laboring. She and DH get along fine but he wants to make it clear to her before hand that she is there for support , not entertainment. I think she would do OK, and I can see myself in pain asking for her.

My sis-in-law-
she is 16 and this would be a great form of birth control. We get along like sisters and I think it would be great for her to bond with Thor so early. She would do exactly what was asked of her and she is very compassionate and caring. I really think I would like to ask her but I think my mom would be very hurt.

Nobody but DH-
It IS a very private moment and it's our 1st child. This way no one would come between us in a very special moment. I'm kind of leaning twards this but I am wondering if it's b/c I don't want to make a very hard decision.


There is only my dad and MIL and both would be OK with being in there but I don't really want my dad to watch and my mom would kill me if MIL got in and she didn't.
What should I do?

 

[dianeschlicht]

I had DH in there, and I would not have wanted anyone else! Mom would have been too overbearing, and I don't have sisters, so....Just DH!

 

[Indyman]

I had my wife in there with me.

 

[dianeschlicht]

Glad to hear it Indyman!! Glad it wasn't your "girlfriend"!!

 

[Pembo]

I only had dh all 3 times. My mom, dad and s-i-l were at the hospital for #1 but ended up with a c-section. I wished my mom could have been there for my vbac's but alas it didn't work out.

A word during labor-my family kept appearing during labor with #1. When it really hurt, I was annoyed that anyone was there other than dh. Just my experience..........

 

[JohnTBap]

C-Sections both times so just DH.

 

[CamColt]

I voted for you mom. I only had DH but I never really considered others at the time. Now thinking about it, it would have been nice to have my mom there too.

 

[Indyman]

Originally posted by dianeschlicht
Glad to hear it Indyman!! Glad it wasn't your "girlfriend"!!

I can't even imagine how mad my wife would have been if "she" were in there also!

 

[TRAPPED-PARENT]

Didn't want the in-laws ... my parents had 14 of their own, so ...

It was great - just me and DH and a cast of medical professionals!!

 

[Michelle]

I definitely did NOT want anyone in there except my DH.

I'm a private person and I don't like people seeing me in pain. Plus I just felt that the birth of a child is a special moment for a couple that they should share alone (with a doctor and a nurse or two!). I would NEVER be able to relax and concentrate with any other family members around while giving birth.

Good luck with your decision!

 

[kdibattista]

Although I have not been through this... I would definitely say just DH. There is no way I would want anyone else in there with me!!!

 

[Lorix2]

I feel the way WebmasterMichelle does. I thought just DH and I should share those first precious moments after the birth. I don't regret it not having anyone else there for both kids. Of course, afterward you welcome the family once you've had a chance to get freshened up and feeling comfortable.

It's a truly joyous time for you and your DH. You shouldn't feel obligated either to have to invite mom, unless of course you really want her there.

 

[cinlee3]

I had various relatives in and out during early labor for my first but when it came to serious labor I only wanted DH.

My 2nd was VBAC and I really wish I would have let my sister in the delivery room. She flew in from Houston and arrived about 10 minutes before DS was born.

 

[MosMom]

I think it is a personal decision that you have to make on how you feel.

I only had DH both times because we feel it is a private time for us. If my SIL & MIL would have lived closer I might have let them in as we are very close. No way my mother would ever be let in. She has a tendency of ruining all happy moments in my life. I would have my dad in before my mom!

I feel (in my very humble opinion...I don't want to set off a pregnant lady! ) you just need to think about what these people would bring to your birth, not what you could bring to them. Don't worry about being birth control for your 16yo SIL. Worry about who will bring the most to your experience. But, I do think that it is a decision only you and DH can make!

 

[patsal]

With mine everyone(DH, Mom, Dad for first child and DH, Mom,Dad, son, sister) was in and out constantly--it did make the time go by faster! During the actual birth only two people were allowed to be in there, DH stayed with me and Mom decided she'd like to stay. Keep in mind I have horrible pregnancies and I wasn't suppose to even attempt child number two. I think the whole family was really scared and they felt they needed to be there. If you and your DH are comfy with another person being there, I don't see any problem with that.

 

[whirlsy]

for my first child after the labor started I wanted my "mommy" and she was there with DH, second child just me and DH. It really helped having mom there with me for the first one, and up until the point of contractions I would have sworn to you she wouldnt be in there. We are close but that bonding thing isnt there with us, I think it is because I am adopted too. I dont know what it is even to this day when I get sick I want my mommy there to hold my head.

 

[browneyes]

I had my mom and my SO when I had my dd. When I was having my ds, my SO was in there and my mom would bring my dd in every now and then so she wouldn't worry about me. There were about 10-15 people in the waiting room though.

 

[Jenn Lynn]

I had my Mom, Dad, and DH of course. I would have had pretty much anyone that I liked. I am not a shy person.

My Dad was there because he adopted my sister and I and was not there for our births. He has said that it was the most special event he has ever been too. And he was so proud to have been invited. He was also with my sister when she had her son.

 

[mowsie dreamer]

Sonya:
I voted for DH only, but when all is said & done, I think you should choose the person or persons that you are most comfortable having there. After all, who is doing all the work?

 

[mowsie dreamer]

BTW, my DH was a total coward!!! He refused to go!