Who paid for your bridesmaids dresses?

[Fantasia Sam]

That's always the saving grace being in the UK and getting married that far away, not so many to have to have in the bridal party, eh Laura ?

I have to say that as most of our wedding guests were from the US I became more up to date with US etiquette than UK etiquette.

The good news for US etiquette, IMO, is that BM's are expected to pay for their own dresses and even if it is a destination wedding, it's a destination that everyone wants to go to and that with being honored to be asked to be in the bridal party, it isn't "wrong" to get the BM's to buy their own dresses. All my own opinion, of course

 

[Lqqieee]

I paid for my BM dresses. They paid for their shoes and alterations if they need them. It will be the least I can do, since htey have to pay for traveling and lodging expenses from NJ and NY. I also custom-made all of their jewelry and I am giving that to them as a gift.

 

[pixie08]

I am having my bridesmaids (4 plus i jr) pay for their dresses but they are under $200 and since the skirt is black i told them they can wear any black dressy shoes (they all have a pair or are willing to buy) as a thank you for travelling down I am paying for 3 nights accomadation for each, thier hair the day of the wedding and a nice gift (maybe a small coach bag) so I think it depends on your budget, how close you are to them and what situation they are in financially. For instance say there is one girl who is seriously strugfgling but wants to be in your wedding then there is nothing wrong with helping her out. Not to say you have to be secretive but really no one else has to know your business. Anyway that is just one situation.

 

[PoohBear8481]

I offered to pay for my girl's dress, but she said that she will pay for it. We have different taste in clothes. I told her as long as it's semi-formal and one of the colors it would be fine. I personally would rather her pick it out. That way she can wear it more than once. When I was a bridesmaid the bride picked out the dresses and they were ugly so I decided that I would let her pick

 

[trdgrl]

I've been lurking for a while, but this is my first post.

I always found it weird how most people on the mainland have their bridesmaids pay for their own dresses. I guess down here (Hawaii), it's a given that the bride/groom pay for the bridesmaids dresses & tux rentals. The mentality I guess, is that since you're asking them to be apart of your wedding, you should pay for their dress/tux....otherwise no one(or most people) would want to be a bridesmaid if they had to buy their own dress.

I totally don't mean to offend anyone, I guess it's just different culture, different etiquette. I just wanted to add to the discussion.

 

[Codie]

I've been lurking for a while, but this is my first post.

I always found it weird how most people on the mainland have their bridesmaids pay for their own dresses. I guess down here (Hawaii), it's a given that the bride/groom pay for the bridesmaids dresses & tux rentals. The mentality I guess, is that since you're asking them to be apart of your wedding, you should pay for their dress/tux....otherwise no one(or most people) would want to be a bridesmaid if they had to buy their own dress.

I totally don't mean to offend anyone, I guess it's just different culture, different etiquette. I just wanted to add to the discussion.

I have never had a dress paid for and quite honestly that is one of the distinct reasons why I cringe everytime I am afraid;-) that I might be asked! It is ALWAYS so expensive. That said, I think it is very unusual for people, at least in my area to not pay for their own dress. My girls all paid for their dresses--although we did buy the flower girl dresses. I tried to be very price conscious (sp?) but in the end they picked out the dress anyway! I guess it is all where you are...

 

[trdgrl]

I have never had a dress paid for and quite honestly that is one of the distinct reasons why I cringe everytime I am afraid;-) that I might be asked! It is ALWAYS so expensive. That said, I think it is very unusual for people, at least in my area to not pay for their own dress. My girls all paid for their dresses--although we did buy the flower girl dresses. I tried to be very price conscious (sp?) but in the end they picked out the dress anyway! I guess it is all where you are...

I hear you...if that was the case, I would totally cringe everytime I was asked as well!! Yea...I guess that's why my Arizona friend was so surprised when I told her we'd be paying for her dress, all she needed to buy was the shoes.

 

[Codie]

LOL Trdgrl! Are you getting married at Disney?

 

[trdgrl]

LOL Trdgrl! Are you getting married at Disney?

No, we're getting married at home but will be spending our honeymoon at Disneyworld. I wish...a Disney wedding would be awesome...but I think majority of our guest would dread the long plane ride

 

[ThreeMusketeers]

My bridesmaids paid for their own dresses, shoes, ect. I wasn't really anal about having matching jewlery and everything. But I wanted everyone to look uniform. And most of my girls just sold their dresses back to the very shop they bought them from for about 20 % less than sticker price.

 

[Codie]

Trdgrl--I was just thinking how amazing a hawaii wedding would be...I agree about the plane ride--that's the only reason I don't have more of an urge to come out your way (I'm on the north east coast). I had a dance friend who grew up in Hawaii, that would be amazing

 

[trdgrl]

Trdgrl--I was just thinking how amazing a hawaii wedding would be...I agree about the plane ride--that's the only reason I don't have more of an urge to come out your way (I'm on the north east coast). I had a dance friend who grew up in Hawaii, that would be amazing

Well if you do decide to vacation here, let me know. I'll give you all the inside scoops & tips on places to go

 

[IrishCinderella]

I plan on contributing a certain portion toward each 'maid's dress. I can't afford to pay for them outright, but I do want to show my appreciation....

 

[ceiligh1]

We paid for the tux rentals for the men and for the dresses for the maids. The tux rental came with shoes and socks so there was no worry that one of them would show up with brown socks. As for the ladies I just asked that they all have black shoes. What ever type they wanted. I figured that they had to at least have one pair already. I also asked their opinion on the dress and color as I didn’t want to get them something they wouldn’t be caught dead in. Any jewelry was up to them. This was do to the fact that some of our maids could not afford the plane ticket as well as the dress. We didn’t want to single anyone out so we bought for everyone. We had also saved for 2 years so we were able to add this to the budget. Not everyone can do that and not everyone has to. It made things less stressful for us knowing that we were not causing financial hardship to our friends.

 

[rosiejo]

Hi - I paid for my BM dress and her shoes for our wedding last year - we also paid for all of the tuxes (My Dad and brother, and DH's brother who was best man) we wanted all the men to match. I also bought wraps for all of the girls (4 in total including me) to wear in the evening.

This was personal choice (not sure what the etiquette is) everyone paid their own way for the trip and from the UK that's quite pricey - so we were just saying thank you. My BM actually wore an evening dress - we picked it together - so she can wear it again - she already did to her Christmas party.

Just my experience for you