Who (if anyone) was in the wrong?

[Maleficent13]

As briefly as possible:

My girlfriend (let's call her A) takes aerobics. She goes several nights a week, every week. Last spring, several of her family members died, AND she found out she was unexpectedly pregnant. Suffice to say these events have been especially hard on A.

The same month, one of the women she takes aerobics with was diagnosed with an illness. All of the people in A's class (including A) got together and sent a gift basket to her, along with a card.

Fast forward to last night: A is leaving aerobics mid-way through class because she gets tired these days (still pregnant). This woman, the one who was diagnosed with the illness, stops in the middle of her routine and follows A out of class. Stops her on the stairs and proceeds to ream her out for not "keeping in touch with her" during her illness...tells her "she hopes A never gets sick because you really need your friends around you" and ends up just storming off, leaving A stunned.

A calls me in tears, declaring she feels like a horrible person, and just generally upset by the encounter. I don't know this woman, so I ask A how close they were...she says they only knew each other through aerobics. They are not comtemporaries: A is 20 something and this woman is 50 something.

Who, if either of them, was in the wrong here? I know there are a plethora of opinions on the DIS, so have at it!

 

[Pam]

It definitely isn't A's fault.

I personally feel as though the other woman from the aerobics class was waaaaaay out of line.

 

[bananiem]

The older woman is in the wrong. What a wacko.

 

[TurboKitty]

Wow. Give A a hug from me.

I don't see A as having done anything wrong and hope she can just avoid the woman in her aerobic classes. I wish A the best with everything!

 

[mickeyfan2]

The older woman is in the wrong. What a wacko.

 

[Hedy]

The older woman is in the wrong. What a wacko.

Agreed. Poor A.

 

[DawnCt1]

A is totally in the clear here. no one owes anyone attention, particularly casual acquaintances that no one would ever have a relationship with except for circumstances.

 

[DisneyMommyMichelle]

The older woman was totally out of line. Seems really wierd if you ask me!

 

[RitaZ.]

I'm with everyone else, the woman was out of line.

 

[Maleficent13]

Well, that's what I thought too...I thought the whole thing was really strange.

 

[shirleyb]

Tell A she did nothing wrong. The woman sounds a little unbalanced.

 

[Miss Jasmine]

Awhh poor A. The older woman is nuts.

 

[DisneyBlonde]

50-something was out of line.

 

[babytrees]

Give A a hug from us and tell her she has nothing to worry about. Older lady definitely has a screw loose.

 

[Beth76]

ditto everyone else

 

[arielsleepingbeauty]

I think that the woman should not have done that to your girlfriend. The woman doesn't know if somethign is going on with your girlsfriend and the woman should understand that some people get weirded out when someone is ill. Some people feel funny about "bothering" someone who may or may not feel up to company. I don't think yoru girlfriend was wrong. They were not friends outside of the class so really she has no "obligation", she sent a gift which was thoughtful to do for someone who is just in the same class as her. Maybe the woman doesn't have any close friends or family and was alone through her illness. I do think that the woman should have taken a different appraoch if she was hurt. She could have taken your girlfreind aside and tell her that she hopes she keeps in touch with her and that she woudl really enjoy having her for company and explain how lonely she was(if she was) during her illness.

 

[Missy1961]

Just like everyone else, I think the older woman was wrong. Your poor friend, just tell her the DIS thinks she needs a hug.

 

[poohandwendy]

Yep, the older woman was out of line. I don't think you are ever in the right when you ream someone out for not doing enough for you unless there was some sort of verbal agreement made beforehand. Obviously, that is not the case here. I agree with the others, she is a wacko and totally in the wrong.

 

[jen0610]

Sounds like the other lady needs to be in some other class beside aerobics. Tell "A" she did nothing wrong.

 

[curlybop]

They acknowledged her illness, sent a basket, what more does she want?? I think that's plenty for someone you know just through a class. If they were best friends or something, yes, it would be different - but they're not.

A is definitely not in the wrong here.