Who has a crazy sister in law or brother in law?

[MomofKatie]

My ex-SIL is a whack job, but I didn't realize how crazy she was until she and my brother split up. She was never very friendly, and we were never close, but she was tolerable until they seperated. It's like she was impersonating a loving mother and wife for all the years I knew her, and the minute she was divorced, she just let loose with the weird behavior.

She told her kids that she didn't like them or want them around her anymore, and they were no longer her responsibility (they were 15, 12, and 11 at the time). DBro has had to go to court to get her to pay child support, since all 3 kids live with him. She has a biker boyfriend who has a restraining order out against him (he can't get within 100 feet of his own kids), but she believes him when he tells her my niece is crazy and "telling lies about him" (has to do with inappropriate behavior on Biker Boy's part- my niece has since moved in permanently with DBro).

I could go on and on- all the infidelity we never knew about (she started fooling around on him within 2 years of getting married, and never stopped until the divorce 20 years later), her every weekend trips alone during the last 2 years of marriage, etc, etc... If I never have to see her again, it will be too soon.

 

[sbpuckett]

Well... mine are crazy to me but not as crazy as some of yours... here it is anyway...

SIL #1 - DH's older sister... has 2 sons (17, 15) and has always favored nephew 15 over his brother. To the point that we nearly petitioned the court for custody several years ago... Both boys fail nearly every year of school and have since they were in the 3rd or 4th grade... SIL and BIL are too concerned with smoking pot and such that they've left the boys to raise themselves. Four years ago SIL announced she was pregnant, ended up being a girl and the boys have pretty much raised her since SIL and BIL are too busy to tend to her... however, you'd think she was a real princess as she is the most spoiled kid I've ever seen! Add to this the fact that SIL went back to school to get her teaching degree (can't fault her for finally stepping up and taking care of the family) but she was making all A's while the boys were failing Then add in the fact that SIL has been "borrowing" money from their grandparents to the point that they were paying all of SIL's and BIL's bills and have nothing but a huge amount of debt left... all the while SIL and BIL bought new cars and Harley's

SIL # 2 - DH's step-sister - works as a nurse and has two daughters by two different men. Constantly paraded one man after another into her home with the girls for several years. MIL cares for and tends to the girls while SIL works... basically MIL has raised them. Wore a see-through white dress to younger SIL's wedding... just recently married a known sex offender - the girls are still at home and both are teenagers Found out last night that she filed a restraining order and kicked him out because she found out a bunch of stuff she didn't know... can't imagine what info could be worse than what she already knew... Also talked bad about me behind my back and would ignore me when I was in the room.

Basically I dealt with DH's families bad behavior for roughly 10 years... I finally told DH how I felt and I now visit his family only on major holidays. It's still miserable but at least I don't have to deal with it once or twice a month like I used to

 

[Grumpy's Gal]

I really really want to go to the store, buy all the condiments and stock up their fridge. Id ask that crazy to pass the ketchup everytime i saw her! Good times.

I'm surprised ya'll aren't making ketchup packet christmas ornaments to hang on her tree.

 

[Abregok]

Having BTDT, my advice is this:
Get on the same page with your dh, inform your family of this page and stick like glue to that page, NO MATTER WHAT.
And what should that page be? The wedding was the last straw after 13 years of insanity. All contact with the nutjob will cease effective immediately. I can tell you that if you fail to take a stand, your marriage and your life will suffer forever. She is not going to change, she is not going to get better, and she is not doing this for any reason other than to gain control and attention.

I think this advice is for me. Thank you.

I did take a stand. We are not talking to them now. In other words, she and her husband (my SIL and BIL) are blocked from contacting me by e-mail and would never have the guts to call. I've had words with my BIL, unfortunately, after he e-mailed me trying to assert her lies and again making our wedding about them and their nutty perceptions. I don't even think he has a choice. Imagine what his life would be like if he didn't back up her insanity? She has sent 3 or 4 e-mails to my husband since I stopped communicating with her. He has not answered any of them. He is very angry, while being confused about his relationship with his brother, who has not returned any of his calls.

We've been married four months and so much of our marriage has been about anxiety over her meddling and sharp tongued, self-righteous, cruel words. Trying to get over that each time and talking to my husband about it wears on our marriage, and that's what she wants. So, I agree with you that I had to take some kind of stand, and exit stage left on the witch. Now, I will just ignore her craziness, should it find an opportunity to rise its ugly head again.

We will see the rest of the family in June. Of course, we have their support. They're sane and warm people. We'll just have to explain more succinctly that this is what we're doing, so they clearly understand our position.

KA

 

[Abregok]

I have a crazy sister in law. There are so many stories but here's one that gives you a little insight...My DB and CrazySIL got in a fight over nothing one night and my DB got fed up and went to sleep in his son's room who was off at college. CrazySIL comes in every 15 minutes berating DB that he has no right to sleep in the son's bed (who was off at college ) She continues this crazy rampage and wants DB to call his son and ask Permission to sleep in the bed? DB says I paid for the bed and will sleep in it if I want! CrazySIL still berates him every 15 minutes until DB decides the couch is quieter

Thanks for the laugh! I Needed THAT!

 

[stsomewhere]

My SIl called us. She was very upset. She had called the police to report a mouse in her garbage can. She thought that they should know in case they were looking for one in her area.
SIL said that the police were no help and were very rude to her. She called her husband home from work to help with the situation. We told them to get a trap or to hit it with a shovel. They were horrified that they would need to use their good shovel because it is uses to "clean" up after their dogs.
They ended up buying a new shovel ond trach can.

DH and I
It is a joke among our friends. They

 

[Camicar]

I think this advice is for me. Thank you.

I did take a stand. We are not talking to them now. In other words, she and her husband (my SIL and BIL) are blocked from contacting me by e-mail and would never have the guts to call. I've had words with my BIL, unfortunately, after he e-mailed me trying to assert her lies and again making our wedding about them and their nutty perceptions. I don't even think he has a choice. Imagine what his life would be like if he didn't back up her insanity? She has sent 3 or 4 e-mails to my husband since I stopped communicating with her. He has not answered any of them. He is very angry, while being confused about his relationship with his brother, who has not returned any of his calls.

We've been married four months and so much of our marriage has been about anxiety over her meddling and sharp tongued, self-righteous, cruel words. Trying to get over that each time and talking to my husband about it wears on our marriage, and that's what she wants. So, I agree with you that I had to take some kind of stand, and exit stage left on the witch. Now, I will just ignore her craziness, should it find an opportunity to rise its ugly head again.

We will see the rest of the family in June. Of course, we have their support. They're sane and warm people. We'll just have to explain more succinctly that this is what we're doing, so they clearly understand our position.

KA

Thanks for the update. I have thought about your situation and wondered how it was going. Good luck.

 

[Disney Doll]

See bolded, below

Disney Doll,
Thanks so much for your advice, but it may be too late. The crazy loon had her husband e-mail me after I had blocked her e-mail address. In his e-mail, he insisted that this big lie she created at the wedding was true, saying he saw it, etc., when we know for a fact it isn't. I got mad and sent him an e-mail back telling him that I didn't believe it and to please not mention it to me again. I also told him that it was hurtful, to have him support something so negative about our wedding, when we just wanted to have our day and remember it in a positive way. Now, he is not returning any of my husband's calls, most likely because he's mad but also because we have real proof that they're lying or she's delusional. If he calls back, my husband will tell him the truth. I'm worried because they've never had a conflict with each other before. Now this witch has made her lie into a family barrier. Actually, her husband is the one who chose to create a family barrier. She had a willing accomplice. I have always been one for putting the blame where the blame lies. He made his choice as to who he wanted to support, and he did not chooose his brother. She sent an e-mail to my husband saying that I had alienated myself from their entire family, including the kids, so don't bother sending gifts because they will be returned to sender. That's a good thing...you'll save money at Christmas and have more to spend on DH. So mean and ugly. I don't know what to do. I can ignore her craziness from here, per your advice, but I am afraid things are too messed up now. Actually, when things are messed up is the best time to start the ignoring. Then when people ask why you are ignoring them, you can truthfully answer "Because her behavior became more inappropriate and BIL supported it so we figured that the best thing to do was to step away".

You were right about the "rise" factor. She got her husband to write me, which got quite a rise out of me. Now she can blame me for something, right? Yep I get it now. Boy do I want to bounce her head. Rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr....rrrrrrrr!!

KA

Believe me, I have dealt with this for the 20 years I have known my DH.

And I will honestly tell you that there are some people that you just cannot have a relationship with, even if they are family. They are toxic and will get you every time.

I maintain that not letting them get any rise out of you is the best thing to do.

I'll tell you a crazy SIL story...about 10 years ago, DH & I were going through infertility issues. SIL was also trying to have a baby, needed some medical assistance...which we heard a blow by blow description of constantly, & finally she became pregnant. Of course, the big announcement was made immediately...I think she was about 45 minutes pregnant. DH & I were also seeing an MD to help us get pregnant. It was shortly before Thanksgiving that year, and I too was pregnant. The difference being I didn't tell anyone (other than DH of course) because we had had such difficulty that I didn't want to announce it only to miscarry (which is what ultimately happened). In any event, about a week prior to Thanksgiving, I get a long letter from her, saying how she hopes I won't hate her because she was pregnant and I wasn't, she hopes I won't feel bad to see her "heavy with child" ...her words...have I mentioned that she is a Drama Queen . Now, keep in mind this was all assumption on her part because DH & I never discussed our personal issues with either side of the family. No one knew there were issues nor did anyone know that I was, at that moment, actually pregnant. So I read the letter, DH reads the letter. He is pissed. I am not surprised, therefore not really pissed because it was par for the course for this SIL. Of course, he says "What are you going to do?". I told him I was going to nothing. I wasn't going to respond. It was not a topic that was up for discussion, especially not with her. He voiced his concern that she would bring it up when she was hete for Thanksgiving. I told him if she did, I would tell her it was not a topic for discussion. My silence must have spoken volumes to her, because she did not bring it up.

Knowing SIL, I am quite sure that her purported "concern" was mean-spirited...you know "nyah, nyah, I'm pregannt and you're not" kid of thing. A way to rub my face in it. At the time, since I was pregnant and quite excited to be so, it didn't faze me. And the child she was pregnant with is the Spawn of Satan...the most horrid obnoxious child I have ever known. I am quite convinced that he has mental issues and will grow up to be a serial killer. And I say that with the utmost sincerity...I have never known a child without conscience until this boy. They have had numerous problems with him, and I am quite certain they will have many more. And I am also quite certain that it is "payback" for her thinking she was being so slick and cruel to me.

You must live the right way, you must learn to ignore them and you must not feed into it.

 

[dad2t&e]

I sure do!

 

[Mkgaapril]

See bolded, below
Believe me, I have dealt with this for the 20 years I have known my DH.

And I will honestly tell you that there are some people that you just cannot have a relationship with, even if they are family. They are toxic and will get you every time.

I maintain that not letting them get any rise out of you is the best thing to do.

I'll tell you a crazy SIL story...about 10 years ago, DH & I were going through infertility issues. SIL was also trying to have a baby, needed some medical assistance...which we heard a blow by blow description of constantly, & finally she became pregnant. Of course, the big announcement was made immediately...I think she was about 45 minutes pregnant. DH & I were also seeing an MD to help us get pregnant. It was shortly before Thanksgiving that year, and I too was pregnant. The difference being I didn't tell anyone (other than DH of course) because we had had such difficulty that I didn't want to announce it only to miscarry (which is what ultimately happened). In any event, about a week prior to Thanksgiving, I get a long letter from her, saying how she hopes I won't hate her because she was pregnant and I wasn't, she hopes I won't feel bad to see her "heavy with child" ...her words...have I mentioned that she is a Drama Queen . Now, keep in mind this was all assumption on her part because DH & I never discussed our personal issues with either side of the family. No one knew there were issues nor did anyone know that I was, at that moment, actually pregnant. So I read the letter, DH reads the letter. He is pissed. I am not surprised, therefore not really pissed because it was par for the course for this SIL. Of course, he says "What are you going to do?". I told him I was going to nothing. I wasn't going to respond. It was not a topic that was up for discussion, especially not with her. He voiced his concern that she would bring it up when she was hete for Thanksgiving. I told him if she did, I would tell her it was not a topic for discussion. My silence must have spoken volumes to her, because she did not bring it up.

Knowing SIL, I am quite sure that her purported "concern" was mean-spirited...you know "nyah, nyah, I'm pregannt and you're not" kid of thing. A way to rub my face in it. At the time, since I was pregnant and quite excited to be so, it didn't faze me. And the child she was pregnant with is the Spawn of Satan...the most horrid obnoxious child I have ever known. I am quite convinced that he has mental issues and will grow up to be a serial killer. And I say that with the utmost sincerity...I have never known a child without conscience until this boy. They have had numerous problems with him, and I am quite certain they will have many more. And I am also quite certain that it is "payback" for her thinking she was being so slick and cruel to me.

You must live the right way, you must learn to ignore them and you must not feed into it.

she would have been heavy alright...walking around with all my toe nails floating in her...

 

[stm61]

OMG - my DH has 10 brothers and sisters and they are ALL crazy. If they aren't criminals, they're lying, cheating bottom feeders.

ok, you win! Dh has 5 brothers and 5 sisters. One brother is nuts, one is a few bricks shy of a full load, one is deceased and 2 of his sisters are completely nuts! I'm just grateful the rest are relatively sane lol.

 

[Disney Doll]

See below, bolded

I think this advice is for me. Thank you.

I did take a stand. We are not talking to them now. In other words, she and her husband (my SIL and BIL) are blocked from contacting me by e-mail and would never have the guts to call. I've had words with my BIL, unfortunately, after he e-mailed me trying to assert her lies and again making our wedding about them and their nutty perceptions. I don't even think he has a choice. Imagine what his life would be like if he didn't back up her insanity? Yes, he'd be divorced, free to live amongst the normal people She has sent 3 or 4 e-mails to my husband since I stopped communicating with her. He has not answered any of them. He should continue along this line. He is very angry, while being confused about his relationship with his brother, who has not returned any of his calls. I am sorry for your husband. I'm sure it is distressing.
We've been married four months and so much of our marriage has been about anxiety over her meddling and sharp tongued, self-righteous, cruel words. Trying to get over that each time and talking to my husband about it wears on our marriage, and that's what she wants. Yes it is. Based on what you have told me about her hisotry of having made a pass at your handsome doctor DH , she probably figures if she drives a wedge between you two that eh will rush back to her arms. So, I agree with you that I had to take some kind of stand, and exit stage left on the witch. Now, I will just ignore her craziness, should it find an opportunity to rise its ugly head again. This is the best plan.
We will see the rest of the family in June. Of course, we have their support. They're sane and warm people. We'll just have to explain more succinctly that this is what we're doing, so they clearly understand our position.
I wouldn't go into too much detail. A simple "SIL & BIL have some issues and we choose not to deal with their bad behavior" should suffice. Remember, anything you say will somehow get back to them...blood is thicker than water...and they will know that they are still able to "get" to you. KA

Remember, hate is still an emotion. Hate is still an indication that you have some feelings left for a person. Hate is not the opposite of love.

Indifference is the opposite of love, and your best bet is to treat them with indifference. That'll drive her crazy! Works for my crazy SIL. It'll work for you.

 

[Tarheel Tink]

Fortunately for me my brother is too crazy for anyone to date or marry him! Seriously. (He's 53)
If anyone DID marry him they would be insane and I would have the situations some of you have.
A pet monkey??!!

 

[tonilea]

Unfortunately, the nuts in my family are not the inlaws.

 

[dananbethany]

I'm checking to see if my sister already posted about our SIL...and I don't see that she has. Our SIL is the most selfish person I have ever met. She has two beautiful kids that the only time she wants to spend time with them is when she needs to show off her SuperMom skills. Her daughter is beautiful...but she can only be bothered with her when she is in front of people. Her son is adorable...but she can only be bothered with him when she's complaining about him (well, he is a little bit hyper...). I have to give it to my brother though, he really takes cares of the house and the kids...because SIL is way too tired at the end of the day to do anything, even though my brother has back problems and really shouldn't be toting the kids up and down the stairs, doing the laundry, cooking, and other tasks every day. Nope, it's all about her and we just live in her world...

 

[DisneyWorldOct08]

this thread is hilarious.

I'm so glad my SIL is a sweet, fun girl that I like being around. Many days I like her MORE than I like my DB. lol. No idea how she puts up with him sometimes.

I do have some cousins that are peices of work though.

 

[Abregok]

See bolded, below
Believe me, I have dealt with this for the 20 years I have known my DH.

And I will honestly tell you that there are some people that you just cannot have a relationship with, even if they are family. They are toxic and will get you every time.

I maintain that not letting them get any rise out of you is the best thing to do.

I'll tell you a crazy SIL story...about 10 years ago, DH & I were going through infertility issues. SIL was also trying to have a baby, needed some medical assistance...which we heard a blow by blow description of constantly, & finally she became pregnant. Of course, the big announcement was made immediately...I think she was about 45 minutes pregnant. DH & I were also seeing an MD to help us get pregnant. It was shortly before Thanksgiving that year, and I too was pregnant. The difference being I didn't tell anyone (other than DH of course) because we had had such difficulty that I didn't want to announce it only to miscarry (which is what ultimately happened). In any event, about a week prior to Thanksgiving, I get a long letter from her, saying how she hopes I won't hate her because she was pregnant and I wasn't, she hopes I won't feel bad to see her "heavy with child" ...her words...have I mentioned that she is a Drama Queen . Now, keep in mind this was all assumption on her part because DH & I never discussed our personal issues with either side of the family. No one knew there were issues nor did anyone know that I was, at that moment, actually pregnant. So I read the letter, DH reads the letter. He is pissed. I am not surprised, therefore not really pissed because it was par for the course for this SIL. Of course, he says "What are you going to do?". I told him I was going to nothing. I wasn't going to respond. It was not a topic that was up for discussion, especially not with her. He voiced his concern that she would bring it up when she was hete for Thanksgiving. I told him if she did, I would tell her it was not a topic for discussion. My silence must have spoken volumes to her, because she did not bring it up.

Knowing SIL, I am quite sure that her purported "concern" was mean-spirited...you know "nyah, nyah, I'm pregannt and you're not" kid of thing. A way to rub my face in it. At the time, since I was pregnant and quite excited to be so, it didn't faze me. And the child she was pregnant with is the Spawn of Satan...the most horrid obnoxious child I have ever known. I am quite convinced that he has mental issues and will grow up to be a serial killer. And I say that with the utmost sincerity...I have never known a child without conscience until this boy. They have had numerous problems with him, and I am quite certain they will have many more. And I am also quite certain that it is "payback" for her thinking she was being so slick and cruel to me.

You must live the right way, you must learn to ignore them and you must not feed into it.

OMGoodness Disney Doll,

That is pure evil. That would really hurt me. I'm sorry she said that to you. It takes a lot of dignity and control not to respond to something so cruel and still to absorb the sting of such a nasty comment. I hope she gets more of what she deserves. You're my hero.

It comes down to one thing: ENVY. It's way beyond jealousy and enters a spiritual domain. I would not put this kind of hostile manipulation past my SIL either. I will stay the heck away from her, that's for sure. I've seen enough to know she's capable of anything. I even think she'd commit suicide and leave a note blaming me for it!

They are not women. They are sick children that never grew up.

KA

 

[Mouse House Mama]

Uh, I think I am the crazy SIL.

I actually really like my BIL's and SIL. They're nice people.

 

[sunsprinkle24]

My dad passed away on April 29 of lung cancer. My SIL birthday. A friend forwarded me an email she sent to another friend saying "my crazy sister in laws dad died today. Yeah on my birthday. Couldn't he have waited for his own special day? LOL".
So I wouldn't say she is crazy but she is mean and cruel.

 

[LuvMickey36]

I thank god everyday that I am an only child. My BIL & SIL are both liars, cheats, no good, crazy...........

BIL is 42 & getting ready to get married for the 6th time!!! They are both upset that dh & I refuse to come the the rehearsal dinner on 10/31/08. I mean geez, I am not gonna make my kid miss halloween for your thing 3hrs. away. Especially when we have been told no kids are allowed. I think the girl he is marrying is just as crazy. I mean, she is planning on marrying him. She has started telling me things like, "i was talking to Kate (MIL) last night & she said I am her fav. dil" WTHeck??? Then starts badmouthing my dh?? Then proceed to tell me that a woman my dh casually dated a few time 11 yrs. ago only went out with him to get to my BIL. UMMMM hello?? They only got together because BIL hit redial on the phone after dh called her & then he asked her out. Ended up marrying her. She was wife #5. All I can say about that is he got what he deserved. And he owes $40,000 in back child support.

Now the SIL...... there is not even words to describe her. She was a hardcore druggy for almost 20yrs., lived on the streets/was a hooker/drugdealer/in & out of jail. Has cleaned up & has kids, but still has the druggy manipulative ways. Always trying to scam you out of money or stuff. We never let her in the house because things disappear when she is around. Always has some kind of teenage drama going on & she is 46!!!

Now on to the MIL............. Let me start by saying that she didn't want dh to marry me in the first place. Took him to lunch day before the wedding to tell him why he should not marry me. Her reasons were:
1. I am too opinionated
2. I am a democrat
3. I wasn't pregnant
4. I am too independent
5. I am not the kind of girl she would have picked for him to marry
6. I am too short for him ( I am 5ft & he is 6ft 8 in tall)
7. I am a little on the heavy side

She has since testified at his child custody hearing about what a horrible mother I am. Letting her extreme dislike of me cause her son to lose a lot precious time with his daughter. Throws things at me & calls me names. Tried to talk crap about me to my own kid, but I quickly put a stop to that. She is not allowed to be alone with him. Tells my dh he should thank her everyday for taking him in & adopting him. And she carries her clear purse with her bible in it everywhere, because she is such a devoted christian.

I finally was considered part of the family when I gave birth to a blood relative. The list goes on & on................

I also thank god everyday that my dh is nothing like them. He is almost 12 yrs. younger than BIL & 15yrs. younger than SIL. He mostly did things with his dad growing up & it shows.

I could go on & on, but I will stop now......For those of you with good IL's be thankful!!