Who else is a non-worrier?

[BCDisneyFanatic]

I never had been....until I had kids.

Wait until your kids are in school. You worry about whether you chose the right school for them and are you scarring them for life with some of the choices you make for them.

Then you worry about whether they've turned in their homework and stuff like that when they get a bit older. Then they get to high school and you worry about every little test and project because you're worried their grades aren't good enough to get into the school they want.

Nope. I don't worry about whether I've chosen the right school for them (and my oldest DD10 has been in 4 different elementary schools). I firmly believe that if you give your kids a good foundation and support, they will thrive in any environment. If I felt they weren't being challenged enough at school, I would be proactive and do something about it...not worry!

Every choice I've made in life has had positive and negative consequences. I'm sure that will be the case with my kids. However, as long as I feel I am making the right decisions for me and my family at the time, I don't see any point in second-guessing them. I try to work with what I've got...not worry about what might have been.

As for their homework...well, that's their responsibility (even though they are only 8 and 10). If they don't do it, there will be consequences at school, and then I will instill consequences at home when their grades drop. Since that hasn't been a problem yet, I'm not going to waste my time worrying about it.

I am also not going to worry about them getting into the 'right' university...I've known lots of people who haven't gotten into their first (or second...or third) choices, and have gone on to live very successful, happy lives. I hope they will get into their first-choice school, but learning early on that they can't have everything in life they want isn't a bad thing either.

If one of my kids was exhibiting signs of being seriously ill, this would cause me to worry. Homework and school choices? Not so much.

 

[java]

Not much of a worrier until recently. Recently being my 15 year old's new girlfriend. She has said things in my presence that my hair fall out. She is all over him. Yes I worry. A lot now. I am up at night can't sleep because of it.

Is it wasted energy- yes. and do I wish I could just roll with it all - yes. But I can't I sit up at night worring that she's putting all kinds of ideas in his head. She has already tried to get him to run away. Thankfully he told me that one. But you would think that I would worry less- as he obviously made the right choice- but nope I worry that one of her ideas may be more appealing to a 15 year old boy.

He is my oldest. I have not ever felt worry like this before.

 

[hereyago]

I never had been....until I had kids.

Wait until your kids are in school. You worry about whether you chose the right school for them and are you scarring them for life with some of the choices you make for them.

Then you worry about whether they've turned in their homework and stuff like that when they get a bit older. Then they get to high school and you worry about every little test and project because you're worried their grades aren't good enough to get into the school they want.

I have a dd11 and I still don't worry. I have changed her school in K at the last minute. I actually let her go out and play with her friends. One of her friends is the same age as DD, her DM won't let her go to the bus stop alone if DD isn't there, and the bus stop is at the end of our cul de sac.

As for homework, dd knows I don't "play" about school. If she doesn't do her homework or whatever, there are both consequences at school and home. I had a very different childhood then my DD, so I don't worry about scarring her for life yet. I am a very active parent and I have to trust I have done the right things in raising her.

Java: I am sorry you are having to go through this. When my DD gets older, I am sure there are going to be times where I worry as I had a very differnt up bringing -as it not much of one, so it will be hard for me to know how to balance of being too strict or too "easy going" about things.

 

[ReneeA]

I used to worry alot about everything. I am much more laid back and less worried now. Every once in a great while I'll get stuck on a "loop" - obsessively worrying about something I can't control or change at that moment. What helps me is to find somewhere quiet, sit by myself, take some deep breaths and ask myself, "Is this something I can control? Is this something I can change right now?"

If my answer to those questions is "No" - and let's face it - 99.9% of the time we all worry needlessly - then I have learned to calm myself by that realization and focus on things going on in my life right then. Focus on the here and now and enjoy the good things.

I learned that technique about 6 years ago and it's greatly improved my quality of life.

 

[Mouse House Mama]

Nope, not me. This is me...

Are we related? I swear I am the same way. My middle name should be angst.

 

[Luv2Scrap]

I wish I wasn't a worrier! A typical day in my mind:

(starts out the night before)

...will I wake up in time? I'm getting to bed so late, and I'm so tired - I really need to shower, and if I can't shower I might as well not even go to work... hmm... idea... no, can't use that leave, gotta save it for in case we get H1N1...

...Does DS need a lunch? Do I have anything to feed him? dang, why didn't I make him a tuna sandwich last night?

...when will I be able to afford to go back to Disney again?

...Did the bus come yet? Where is the other kid that waits a block down? I better wait and see if DS missed the bus... it's such a long drive back if he has to call me...

...What if I can't afford to go back to Disney for another two years??

...traffic... construction... ugh! how bad will it be today?

...I don't think I can handle two years with no Disney. I'll go crazy!

...DS is staying over at his friend's house this weekend. What if their house burns down while he's there?

...will DH and I really be able to find a better job after we get our degrees, or will we still be stuck in the same low-paying job, but with a bunch of student loans to try to pay for?

...do I really want to relocate for a new job? UGH! This is SO stressful - how to make the right choices...??? I have NO idea what the right thing to do is!

...I really want DVC! Will I finally be able to afford it when I graduate and get a GREAT paying job???

...Do I really look as fat as that reflection in the window makes me look? I better buckle down! I can't go to Disney again until I lose 25 pounds! GRRR!!!

...I have all those scrapbooking supplies and no time to scrap. I feel guilty for owning it all... I should just sell it, even though I'd take such a huge loss on it all...

...but what about my Disney trips? How would I scrap them if I sell all my stuff?

...lunch? do I have time? hungry!! OH NO! Maybe DS forgot his lunch today - I didn't make sure he grabbed it, I bet he forgot! He's probably starving, poor kid!

...I bet DH won't ever come to Disney with me again. He had an alright time, but he really doesn't love it. Is it even fair for me to want him to go?

...Gotta hurry home so DS doesn't have to walk all the way home! That bear has been coming around the house during the day again... and in the winter, a car could slide into him, since there aren't any sidewalks for him to walk on... (hey - it could happen!) gotta hurry - GET OUT OF THE WAY!!! CAN'T YOU SEE I'M IN A HURRY???

...What if my plane crashes on the way to Disney...???

...and so on... all day long...



So if someone could share their secret to not worrying, my mind could really use a little peace of mind!!!

 

[ckay87]

I never had been....until I had kids.

Wait until your kids are in school. You worry about whether you chose the right school for them and are you scarring them for life with some of the choices you make for them.

Then you worry about whether they've turned in their homework and stuff like that when they get a bit older. Then they get to high school and you worry about every little test and project because you're worried their grades aren't good enough to get into the school they want.

I definitely don't worry about that stuff. I mean, on the list of possible worries, this would be way down there, but that's just me. But again, I'm not even a worrier when it comes to my kids.

 

[Becky2005]

I think I'm somewhere in-between. I'm pretty sure other parents think I'm crazy now at the High School since I'm not overly worried about apparently other things that they are.

On the other hand, I can overly worry too depending on what it is BUT I don't think it's so much a worrier as the planner in me. I like to plan contingencies and have a bit of a control freak issue with it....however, I know when it's time to roll with whatever happens too.

If it's something out of my control, then I don't worry about it too much because it's out of my control so whatever happens, happens.

I don't even know if that makes sense.