Who do some parents force kids on attractions if they are afraid?

[BurkeTribe]

Is any parent going to admit they forced their child onto a ride they did not want to experience and it resulted in a bad situation, I seriously doubt it.
.

Well, the only kind of bad ride situation with we had this past week was a ride both kids wanted to go on-- Dinosaur. It wasn't a really terrible result, but after the ride they were not laughing and yelling "let's ride it again" as they do other rides, they were quiet and not smiling. I asked if it had scared them, and my son said "yes, a little, even though I know they are just robot* dinosaurs," so I told them they won't have to ride it again until they say they are ready. And they were then happy again and ready to play in the Boneyard.

Our worst situations usually revolve around one or both refusing to eat (too many other things to do, right?), which inevitably leads to a meltdown within an hour or two (usually over an expensive toy that can be purchased later back in our hometown rather than lugged around the park**). We allot about 10-20 minutes per park for these events, and usually find a less populated place to sit until he/she agrees to eat something, which almost instantly calms them and it's over.




*easier to explain than animatronic at this age
** Suuuure, we COULD have it sent back to the resort-- but the kids won't go for that... spoiled little weasels

 

[thirtycats]

Most things in kids' lives are non-negotiable (they have to go to school, for example). I think the they should be able to make a few decisions about what they do for fun. If it's their choice, they'll probably warm up to it faster.

:

They have to go to school only if you make them.

Some parents force their kids to go to school.

Others force them to go on Disney World rides.

 

[LoriMistress]

I can understand why some parents "forse" their kid to go on HM...sometimes the kid has to realize that the ride is not as scary as it seems. The kid has to build up their self confidence and have to experience fear. By sheltering a child for every little thing that might "frighten" them, will only hurt your child's self esteem when they grow up to be adults. I use to go to the HM as a child and I would be scared all the time, but I knew that evetually when I get older I wouldn't be afraid. I would get over my fear.

I forsed my little cousin to go on SpM when she was about five or six. She was "afraid"of the drop. After going on the ride, she was still afraid of the drop, but she did realize that the ride itself wasn't all that bad. And, in fact, she did get over it and it is one of her favorite rides.

 

[thirtycats]

I think one thing that makes a huge difference is WHY the parents are "forcing" the child on the ride.

Are they doing it because THEY want to go on the ride and they have no one to watch the child?

Are they doing it because they paid all that money and don't want it to go to waste.

Are they doing it because they don't want to go home and have to admit to friends that their child was too scared of the Dumbo ride.

Or are they doing it because they believe the child will like the ride. But they know their child can be apprehensive about new things.

In our case, my son is almost obsessed with Disney World rides. He looks at ride descriptions on the internet all the time. He makes grand plans to go on rides, but once we get their, he loses his nerve.

So, this year I pushed him more than I usually do.

We were lucky to have a happy ending.

Money was actually somewhat involved. I will admit. We were in Disney World for six days. Before the trip, I told him we'd be only spending 1 or 2 days at the parks unless he went on rides. I explained I wouldn't be mad. It's just that it's too expensive to go to the parks to just walk around, buy food, and play on playgrounds. We could do other stuff instead. Hang out at the hotel, ride the buses, go to downtown disney, swim, etc. Go to hotel playgrounds!

We went to the parks and he went on no rides. Uh and he's also not a big character fan. So we pretty much just wandered around aimlessly.

But then a few days later, he wanted to go to more parks. He didn't have a tantrum. He wasn't obnoxious. Just asked and seemed pretty bummed when I said we weren't going back.

I started feeling bad and said maybe we'd go if he went on some rides. He assured me he would. And then when we got to MK, he suddenly seemed apprehensive (no I was not surprised).

I didn't take him on It's a Small World kicking or screaming. Just whimpering a bit. But he ended up loving it.

I also forced him to go to Playhouse Disney Live. He kept talking about it at home and I felt he'd be disappointed in himself for not trying it. That one didn't work out as well. He cried (not loud) before the show came on. I was able to distract him somewhat. I hoped once it began, he'd be okay. But after the show started, he still wanted to leave. So I took him out.

Anyway, I took him on things I felt he would like. I was right once and wrong the other time. But I didn't take him on things simply because I wanted to go on it.

 

[aliceblue]

What I've seen is that the child who isn't forced (and I'm not just talking about rides here but about all kinds of new things) to do these things will figure it out for himself. I think that's especially true if nobody belittles the child or ridicules him, but instead we just go on and enjoy the rides (or do the activities) we want to go on. The child sees (without anybody rubbing it in his face) that others went on the rides (or changed jobs, or took a class, or whatever) and it turned out well. Then he can make his own decision, when he's ready. I think this prepares them for being more willing to try new things later in life - knowing that nobody is going to force them, that they need to consider things and make their own decisions.

I totally agree with this!

For kids who are very sensitive by nature, (I was one of them; spent the entire time with my hands over my ears the first time my family went to Disneyland ), it's important that you acknowledge their feelings without making a big deal about it. Nobody ever forced me to go on the Matterhorn, but knowing that the rest of the family went on it eventually helped me to get up the guts to try it. ( I recall hurtling through the ride in speechless shock as my mom asked cheerily, "Isn't this fun?" ) Though I did go on it a handful of times over the years, I realized it was never going to be a pleasant experience for me. I learned by trial and error what my limits were, and now I thoroughly enjoy rides like Indiana Jones, Splash Mountain and Star Tours. (Space Mountain and Big Thunder Mountain didn't make the cut!)

One of our kids had a similar sensitivity to rides, and we never pushed the issue. He was not particularly interested in venturing out of his comfort zone until he was teenager. Then lo and behold, he came home one day from a Knott's Berry Farm trip with friends, and he had ridden every single "wild" ride in the park! Hasn't stopped since, either.

Our daughter used to work at "Tough to Be a Bug" in Disney's California Adventure, and unfortunately was witness to many instances of parents belittling their children for being afraid. They would say things like "No, you're not really scared" or "I don't care, we're doing it anyway." TTBAB is one of those theater environments where a child's distress can't help but disrupt the show, so cast members were constantly having to escort families with sobbing and/or screaming children outside. And no matter how many times they warned parents that one-year-olds invariably were startled into crying by the show's effects, nobody ever thought their one-year-old would react that way.

 

[Marilou]

As a Mom, I can appreciate the "I know my own child" thought process.
I will share the only incident I ever saw with this. My DD (12) & I were in line for ToT and a girl around the same age was crying that she didnt want to ride. Her Gramma kept chastising her saying things like "your a big girl not a lil 5yo baby" and the dad kept saying things like "if you don't ride , we're going back to the hotel" This was a situation where the grownups were being cruel, and I know that's not always the case. My DD however was mortified! She kept looking at me with questions in her eyes and sympathy. She would whisper to me "mom, why are they doing that?" She has been lucky to not come across cruel adults in her life, so this was shocking to her. She basically wanted "Supermom" to swoop in and help this child in distress. Which of course you know, you can't just step in when you don't agree with another parent's tactics, unless of course if violence is seen and then one has to go thru proper channels. The end result was this other girl was physically pulled onto the ride, crying, by her grownup comapnions.

It was difficult to watch.

Now my own guilty story: As we were getting into the cars/seating for Ellen's Universe of Energy, my son (age 9) started to get nervous, then when the seating secions seperated and started moving he was plenty apprehensive. Somewhere towards the beginning, he saw a glowing red exit sign off to our right...he had his hands over his ears and was pointing with his elbow "exit Mom...there's an exit!" His main problem was that he got freaked out by "its tough to be a bug" 2 yrs back. I knew this ride would not be like that so I just kept my arms around him and talking to him. The end result was he loved the ride and went back on again another time. If he was crying hysterically , however, I would not have forced him, nor would I have chastised him, calling him a baby and threatning going back to the hotel.