Who do some parents force kids on attractions if they are afraid?

[BurkeTribe]

But NO ride was worth "45 minutes" of crying while waiting to ride just to prove what an all knowing parent I was.

That's where Fastpass has helped us, and other parents probably-- luckily my son was only sniffling for about 3 to 5 minutes in the FP line before BTMRR. There is no way we could have waited 45 minutes, that would have been too much time for him to imagine multitudes of horrors and scenarios (of what the ride of course wasn't), and to have worked himself into a meltdown.

I'm just imagining someone trying to get a crying kid through one of the the 1970s Space Mountain 2 hour lines-- that would have been absolutely a nightmare double whammy.

 

[wdwcoltsfan]

We have coaxed our kids on certain rides. Our dd8 loves coasters, but was apprehensive about RNR because she couldn't see what the track looked like. We convinced her to go on it and told her if she didn't like it, she didn't have to do it again. Well, she really enjoyed it and does it every trip. She wanted to try TOT so we went on it with her. She was crying when she got off, so I'm sure people thought we were terrible parents. She was willing to try it and she knows she doesn't have to go on it again if she doesn't want to.

I think most parents know what their children can handle. However, after reading some guide books, I am surprised at the response of some people after certain rides. The parent that wrote in to one book complaining that her children were "terrified" in Pooh still stumps me. I guess you never know!


Rachel

 

[DisneyCrazyX5]

Yes I'm one of those horrible mothers that forced my child onto a ride he didn't want to go on. He was actually starting to cry. Basically I told him not to worry, sit down and shut up.

He was 6 years old at the time and terrified. Want to know why I did it? Because I really don't think any 6 year old boy should be scared of It's a Small World!!

Well I'm happy to say he survived the entire trip, the song didn't get stuck in his head for the rest of his life and he actually enjoyed the ride. I have no idea why he was terrified of it, what he thought was going to happen. I made him go because there was only a 2 minute wait and I needed to sit down, my feet were tired!

Now this hysteria was coming from a kid that had no problems with Haunted Mansion, Pirates otC, etc... See sometimes Mom does know what's best!

I forced my DS(than age 5) to ride DUMBO - I knew he was going to be fine - he is the kind of kid who is scared to try new things - he loved it. But still haven't been able to convince him to ride those flying Dino's at Animal Kingdom- I knew he would like it too, but he was a tired grumpy boy and I knew not to push him. Timing is everything.

We also made him ride a mini-dropping ride at Dollywood. Once he knew they would stop the ride he was fine. After the first drop he looked up with a "Is that all it does" look. He got off of the ride very proud of himself for being so brave. Now he wants to ride everything when we go to WDW next time.

 

[Teresa Pitman]

"Yes, being able to talk one's way through things to one's self is a good skill to learn, but it's a skill that young children take a LONG time in gaining (that's something that most people don't pick up past "I don't wanna until mom makes me" until their teens) and one that if parents don't help them get over the hump good and early with positive reward sometimes, will hamper them in life. I know too many adults who won't try new things, like look for a new job, because it makes them uncomfortable as it is."

You know, my experience with this has been different. That "I don't wanna until mom makes me" seems to stick with people who are "pushed" into things. These are the kids who become the adults who don't want to try new things - because they are still waiting for Mom to show up and push them into it. It's like they don't learn to think things through for themselves because their parents have short-circuited that process.

What I've seen is that the child who isn't forced (and I'm not just talking about rides here but about all kinds of new things) to do these things will figure it out for himself. I think that's especially true if nobody belittles the child or ridicules him, but instead we just go on and enjoy the rides (or do the activities) we want to go on. The child sees (without anybody rubbing it in his face) that others went on the rides (or changed jobs, or took a class, or whatever) and it turned out well. Then he can make his own decision, when he's ready. I think this prepares them for being more willing to try new things later in life - knowing that nobody is going to force them, that they need to consider things and make their own decisions.

I've seen this with my own kids. Two of them have fairly cautious personalities - there were many things they didn't want to try at first. They take a little time to evaluate things (unlike another one of my children, who has been a "jump right in!" kid since birth). Now as adults, they still like to look things over and evaluate them, but they feel confident in their ability to judge whether it is right for them and like to try new experiences. (The one who was probably the most cautious is now the most adventurous traveler in the family!)

That's been my experience, anyway.

Teresa

Teresa

 

[TDC Nala]

I know kids who have already been on the attraction (sometimes on the same day) and are raising a fuss for whatever reason. I think they like the ride fine but they want to make sure Mom or Dad will stay close.

My friend's son cried throughout the Peter Pan ride (I think because it was dark) and then asked to go again. He cried throughout the second ride, also.

 

[Cass]

I think kids should try everything once, if they are afraid to go back on a ride they have tried then that is fine. but if they are raising a ruckus about something they have no idea what it is like, they should be encouraged to try it.

(Unless it's something obviously scary like Hulk etc... )

Anyway, in most cases when they kid goes reluctantly on a ride they come off on top of the world that they have accomplished it and conquered their fear and usually they want to go again. It is a life's lesson - an important lesson to carry with them - to give it a try if they are afraid, there is no shame in failing to like something or in being afraid but I think there is in not even trying.

Saw a poor little kid in front of us on splash mountain HOWLING crying through the whole ride, then coming off the ride he was laughing his head off and Mom gave him a big hug, Dad gave him a high five, he was so proud

 

[Disneyfriend]

I think there's a big difference between coaxing your child onto Dumbo and forcing your little one to go on Dinosaur.

I just rode Dinosaur by myself about ten days ago because my dh was sitting with our infant. The family in back of me was forcing their 5 year old little girl to go on Dinosaur. She was crying and pulling back before even getting on the ride. I felt SO sorry for her. I literally almost told the parents that *I* would be happy to wait with her at the end of the ride so that she didn't have to go. (I'm sure they would have thought I was a nut case, though, so I didn't even try.)

I could see that the parents thought everything would be be hunky dory once she just "gave it a try". I knew differently. It was seriously like watching a train wreck about to happen. Dinosaur is a pretty intense ride - in the dark, loud sounds, realistic-looking dinosaurs coming right at you.

Sure enough, the little girl was an absolute basket case by the end of the ride. Even as we pulled into the exit area, the parents were *still* trying to tell the little girl that she shouldn't have been as scared as she was. Huh? All the cast member who was unloading the car could do was smile and tell the little girl, "It's all over now, princess!"

But why should a five year old little girl have to endure something like that on vacation? Why should she go through what was for her a terrifying event and get the crud scared out of her for the rest of the day/trip?

I'm usually a big believer in the idea that parents know best . . . but not always. Seeing this little Dinosaur train wreck unfold really ruined the whole experience for me. And I bet it happens at that ride alone multiple times a day. Come on, parents! Do you really HAVE to force your 5 year old to ride Dinosaur or any other super intense ride? For every parent who did so and had it turn out "just fine" (or so they think), I bet there are a lot of other disasters out there that don't turn out so well for the child involved.

Disneyfriend

 

[DisneyCrazyX5]

I think there's a big difference between coaxing your child onto Dumbo and forcing your little one to go on Dinosaur.

My DH has to ride Dinosaur by himself, I don't even ride it. My sons (age 5) also did not want to see Mickey's PhiarMagic (yep we talked them into trying in to "It's tough to be a bug) I knew they would like it, but I thought it was very loud, so DH and I watched it with older DS.

 

[LaraK]

I've actively encouraged my kids to do rides. DD is a daredevil and likes thrill rides. I was shocked when we got to the end of the line for Test Track and she suddenly baulked...I talked her onto it and she cried when the truck came...I felt like a worm. I realized later that her fearfulness was caused by an unfortunate encounter with the bucket at the Curious George water park in Universal (I wasn't with her and DH wasn't holding onto her because he didn't realize how hard the water would fall...it hit her and she hit the ground. She was timid the rest of the week.

DS has to be pushed much more than DD. He is just not an adventurous guy. He doesn't particularly like things jumping out at him. We don't encourage him to go on as much as his sister....he just has a different personality. If we think he'll love it, we'll push and he does love it. If it has any thrill aspect to it, we don't push.

 

[BlindTyldak]

"Yes, being able to talk one's way through things to one's self is a good skill to learn, but it's a skill that young children take a LONG time in gaining (that's something that most people don't pick up past "I don't wanna until mom makes me" until their teens) and one that if parents don't help them get over the hump good and early with positive reward sometimes, will hamper them in life. I know too many adults who won't try new things, like look for a new job, because it makes them uncomfortable as it is."

You know, my experience with this has been different. That "I don't wanna until mom makes me" seems to stick with people who are "pushed" into things. These are the kids who become the adults who don't want to try new things - because they are still waiting for Mom to show up and push them into it. It's like they don't learn to think things through for themselves because their parents have short-circuited that process.

What I've seen is that the child who isn't forced (and I'm not just talking about rides here but about all kinds of new things) to do these things will figure it out for himself. I think that's especially true if nobody belittles the child or ridicules him, but instead we just go on and enjoy the rides (or do the activities) we want to go on. The child sees (without anybody rubbing it in his face) that others went on the rides (or changed jobs, or took a class, or whatever) and it turned out well. Then he can make his own decision, when he's ready. I think this prepares them for being more willing to try new things later in life - knowing that nobody is going to force them, that they need to consider things and make their own decisions.

I've seen this with my own kids. Two of them have fairly cautious personalities - there were many things they didn't want to try at first. They take a little time to evaluate things (unlike another one of my children, who has been a "jump right in!" kid since birth). Now as adults, they still like to look things over and evaluate them, but they feel confident in their ability to judge whether it is right for them and like to try new experiences. (The one who was probably the most cautious is now the most adventurous traveler in the family!)

That's been my experience, anyway.

Teresa

Teresa

My experience has been the complete opposite . . . my younger sister (now 29) was one of those children who was told they didn't have to do things until she was ready to do so, and now she's an adult who will not do a thing until she's sure there's a 100% good thing afterward. Needless to say, she doesn't do much in life. My daughter needs a little push forward sometimes, but I will make her do things that she is not happy about doing if I know that she'll be fine with it, and she's learned that trying new things isn't bad and you just never know unless you take a chance. That same girl who two years ago was afraid to go on SE now wants to ride RnRC and dinosaur, both of which I've told her that she very honestly may not like. She rolled her eyes at me and said that she won't know unless she tries it. SO much different from my sis who wouldn't (and still won') go on either because she's not sure she'll like it so she just won't go.

 

[Cmbar]

Two weeks ago we were at Star Tours. There was a boy about 4 or 5 in the last row who started freaking out as soon as the doors started to close. He was crying and yelling " I want to get off " over and over again. A cast member went over to him and did a wonderful job of trying to calm him done. It didn't work but his dad insisted that they would stay on. The CM told dad that they would be watching and if he waved they would shut the ride down. So after a 10 minute delay we took our tour. The boy continued yelling " I want to get off " thru the whole ride.

DH and I were disgusted. I don't know what Dad was trying to prove. When our son was young he needed some strong encouragement to ride some things but never on a level approaching this boys fear. And if he had we would not have forced him.

I would never have done that for two reasons: 1) Never put a child through that kind of fear. If they are making that big of a scene they must be scared. I can't imagine they are that spoiled and need that much attention. 2) I never would have been that disrespectful to the other people in the ride that have waited for their chance to ride.

 

[Sammie]

Is any parent going to admit they forced their child onto a ride they did not want to experience and it resulted in a bad situation, I seriously doubt it.

You will hear only about the ones with the happy endings. I agree sometimes a gentle coaxing is necessary but "forcing" against a child's will, never.

 

[CR Resort Fan 4 Life]

Is any parent going to admit they forced their child onto a ride they did not want to experience and it resulted in a bad situation, I seriously doubt it.

You will hear only about the ones with the happy endings. I agree sometimes a gentle coaxing is necessary but "forcing" against a child's will, never.

Maybe they are afraid of being flamed for forcing their child onto a ride they did not want to go on?

 

[BlindTyldak]

I'll admit it, but it didn't happen at WDW, it happened at Canobie Lake Park. They have a haunted mine ride and my DD really didn't want to go on it, but I remembered it being one of my favorites from my childhood and knew it was quite tame . . . about as creepy as the temples in JC. well, they had updated it quite a bit and yeah, she was not a happy camper and I felt like dirt.

 

[Brise Nannie]

My DSon-in-law forced my 5 yr old grandson to go on The Dinosaur ride in Animal Kingdon. Scared the be-jeebers out of him and refused to go on another ride the rest of the week. That was our first day.....nice, huh.

I hear that! One year my DH and I did a Grand Gathering with our DD, her hubby, my grandsons, and her in-laws. The entire trip the in-laws spent most of the time trying to embarrass and egg one of my grandsons onto rides he didn't want to ride. He's afraid of the dark and some of the attractions would've made him jump out of his skin. It irritated me because I know he's more of a parade, shows, and FWs kinda kid. Needless to say the entire trip was a continual nagging from the so-called adults with my grandson keeping his distance from them most of the time. That was 5 yrs ago and do you know to this day my grandson still mentions how he didn't enjoy them 'nagging' him on that trip.

 

[Feralpeg]

Obviously, it is up to the parent to make the decision best for their child.

I never forced DD to ride anything (still don't) that she didn't want to ride. There are many rides that I won't ride. I wouldn't want anyone to force me to do something I didn't want to do, so I won't force anyone else.

 

[Metallicat]

On one trip when we were in line for the RNR, there was a man and a little boy in front of us. we were all walking pretty fast (fast passes) and the man is practically dragging the kid along by the hand yelling at him "I told you a hundred times this ride does not go upside down, so shut up and stop that whining!"

I felt so bad for that kid.

 

[Tiffer]

I have bribed DSS onto rides. Only rides that I have been on and know he will enjoy. HE ALWAYS ends up LOVING the ride. First, when he was 5 on PoC, 2nd, on ToT at age 8 and at age 12 at DL, CA California Screamin.

Each time, He has gotten off and wanted to go on again immediately. I guess you have to know your kid and what they will and won't like.

Wth that said I have brought DD on HISTA 2 x's with a 3 yr difference and both times, had to bring her out in the middle. And she isn't normally afraid of anything. But I didn't force her.

 

[PratersloveDW]

Is any parent going to admit they forced their child onto a ride they did not want to experience and it resulted in a bad situation, I seriously doubt it.

You will hear only about the ones with the happy endings. I agree sometimes a gentle coaxing is necessary but "forcing" against a child's will, never.

I'll admit to taking DS on attractions against his will and not having a happy ending. Our DS (3 1/2) has been to the World several times in his short life and loves most everything about it - the characters, rides, etc. There have most certainly been times, however, where DH and I have had to persuade DS to try something new or something he didn't remember from previous trips. We know our son's boundaries and when to give a little 'push.' However, as most parents can attest, when trying new things with your children you win some and lose some - and not just at Disney World.

The few battles we have lost at Disney in no way hindered the enjoyment of the ride for those around us. Our DS is quiet and not very out spoken so if he were to lash out loudly before a ride, that is a serious red alarm for us and we simply pass that attraction and try again next time.

If I see a child crying in line and it seems his parents are just trying to help the child conquer his fear, I don't get upset. However, if it appears the parent is just insensitive to the child's fear, that's a whole different story.

 

[PratersloveDW]

On one trip when we were in line for the RNR, there was a man and a little boy in front of us. we were all walking pretty fast (fast passes) and the man is practically dragging the kid along by the hand yelling at him "I told you a hundred times this ride does not go upside down, so shut up and stop that whining!"

I felt so bad for that kid.

Now that's just wrong!!