Whinning & Complaining

[loonytoony]

Looking for ideas how to avoid or stop whinning & complaining while @ WDW.
MY DS is 5.

 

[aka-mad4themouse]

Whining and complaining is usually the result or combination of hunger, tiredness, heat and overstimulation. 5yo's are not in touch with their feelings and they really don't know why they're cross. They just are. It's up to us adults to understand the causes and take control for them.

Know your child's limits and take a break before things get to the point of a meltdown. Sometimes you may only need to sitdown and grab a cool drink or an ice cream. At other times, you may have to leave the park entirely and go relax in your room for a while. That's a hard thing to do, especially when you've paid so much for admission. The temptation is there to "get your money's worth". But if you've got an upset child on your hands, you're not having any fun regardless of how much you spent.

The truth is that they get cranky at home, they get cranky at school and they will get cranky at some point at WDW. For the most part, those cranky moments will be outshined by the moments of wonder & joy. Have a great trip!

 

[RockinDisney]

I agree with Lisa knowing your child's limits is important I would add know your limits as well. It always bothers me to see a parent screaming at a child but it especially bothers me when it is a young child at WDW, it is 10:00 at night, way past the child's bed time, and usually they have been going since at least 8am in the FL heat. The child is tired, the parent is tired and this will be their memory of Disney Definitely know your child's limits and make sure you know your limits as well.
On a lighter note if you are looking for ways to keep your child entertained in line try blowing bubbles, tic tac toe, I spy, and the alphabet game. Hope that helps.

 

[rentayenta]

What's behind the whining and complaining? Bored, hunger, tired? If he is overwhelmed, take a rest or grab a snack; a swim back at the hotel and a nap does wonders for my kids. If it's whining for stuff, maybe set a per day limit on much he can spend. That seems to work for us. They can "bank" it or blow it day by day.

 

[lovehoney]

Whining and complaining is usually the result or combination of hunger, tiredness, heat and overstimulation. 5yo's are not in touch with their feelings and they really don't know why they're cross. They just are. It's up to us adults to understand the causes and take control for them.

Know your child's limits and take a break before things get to the point of a meltdown. Sometimes you may only need to sitdown and grab a cool drink or an ice cream. At other times, you may have to leave the park entirely and go relax in your room for a while. That's a hard thing to do, especially when you've paid so much for admission. The temptation is there to "get your money's worth". But if you've got an upset child on your hands, you're not having any fun regardless of how much you spent.

The truth is that they get cranky at home, they get cranky at school and they will get cranky at some point at WDW. For the most part, those cranky moments will be outshined by the moments of wonder & joy. Have a great trip!

Wonderful advice. Always have an exit (or downtime) strategy. On our upcoming trip I've really been cutting back our touring time to allow down time every day at the resort.

I also figured out with my DN4 that she must be fed every 2 hours to keep from melting down. I don't know why but it works for her.

I am also a believer in time-outs no matter where you are. A shady curb at the park will work just as well as a corner at home. The kids do get warned before time-outs. If the kids are just too far gone then back to the resort we go.

 

[Luv Bunnies]

My boys are a little older (11 & 8) but we still had our fair share of whining in December! One strategy that worked is to sometimes let kids make choices about what to do next (f you go with more than one kid you need to switch off). Two choices at a time are enough for a 5 year old (do you want to ride Dumbo or go on Pooh next?). You're probably going to do both eventually and letting her choose will make her feel more involved and might decrease the whinies when she gets in line. I wouldn't let her choose everything you do. (That's way too much power for a 5 year old and it will lead to more whining and a few ugly stand-offs!).

Kids also like to be able to predict what will happen next and they get uncomfortable with the unknown. We frequently stopped with our kids and layed out a little game plan -- OK guys, after we use our Fastpasses for Space Mountain, it will be time for our lunch reservation at the Plaza. We'll need to walk straight over to get there on time - no rides in between. You probably can't use as much detail with a 5 year old but you could say, "After we ride Dumbo we're going to leave Fantasyland and see the Pirates!" Then she can start getting used to the idea of what will come next.

Heat, hunger, thirst and exhaustion are all factors that cause whining. But I think it's important to see the experience from the kid's point of view. Give her a choice now and then, tell her what's coming next. Help her feel a little more in control of where she is and what she's doing. A well-informed kid is a happy kid! Have a good trip.

 

[bits-n-pieces]

I totally agree with letting them make some decisions. This really worked for my 6 yo in April. She was kind of down and when I asked why I found out she was just overwhelmed and didn't like not knowing what was next. So, I started giving her either or choices and she felt more in control and comfortable with all the excitement. Of course, I made sure all the choices I gave her were realistic.

We also avoid buying anything until later in the week when we go to DTD. Since the girls have been a couple of times they understand anything they see in the park can be found at DTD too. So, they go in knowing there is no reason to aks for anything while we are out at the parks. It doesn't stop all the "I want that's" but, it helps.

Of course as everyone else has said get pleanty of down time and maybe keep some small snacks handy to head off the "grumbly tumbles"

 

[loonytoony]

Great answers now if those would only work on my wife also.

 

[PrincessV]

Ditto all the advice before my post! I do all of the above with my DS-almost-5 and it works well.

I'll add 2 things:
1. Lay out the rules AHEAD of time. Before we get to a park, I let DS know what will happen if there's any whining or arguing (he gets a time-out) and what will happen if it continues (we leave the park - works for us, since we live close by). I also tell him if he'll be allowed to get a souvenir, so there's not constant "wanting".

2. Try to remind yourself that 5 year olds tend to do a certain amount of whining and complaining even when you do your best to avoid it. Don't let it get to you!

 

[novdisneydreams]

We always find that we can control DS5's moods better if we have a well-stocked bag with us ... of course water and snacks ... but we'll also bring a mini etch-a-sketch, give him a disposable camera, kid binoculars, that sort of thing. That can really cut down on boredom in lines, waiting for ADRs etc. For restaurants, we always bring crayons and smallish pads of paper. I don't know if anyone else mentioned this, but last time we went to WDW we ended up renting a double stroller, even though DS6 hadn't ridden in one for years ... there is SO much walking involved that he was grateful to sit, and the strollers are large enough for a bigger kid. We'd start out the day with everyone walking and then get the stroller later in the day when the kids got tired. Also - if it is hot find the "wet" places in the parks. I remember one particularly grumbly afternoon when we happened upon the squirty area in adventureland and my grumpsters were instantly turned into the most adorable little happy guys! (Plus we got some great pics of their laughing and smiling faces) Of course they were soaked afterwards , but hey, its Florida, they dried. That seemed to recharge them for awhile. If all else fails and there is still whining (an ultimately that happens at some point) it is DEFINITELY time to head back to your hotel for and ice cream/swimming/nap break. You can always hit the parks later when everyone is feeling better

 

[Jill in Chicago]

I think it would help to start working on this behavior at home before the trip. Some kids simply tend to get upset more than other kids. Just like some adults are so easy going, and some adults, like me, easily have their feelings hurt.

First thing I did with my boys at a young age was when they began to whine I would say very calmly, "I'm sorry. I can't understand you when you talk like that. Take a deep breath and try again." Then we would take the deep breath together. This really gets rid of the whining conversations. They get really tired of repeating themselves.

I have found that when you are trying to change behavior with a child a chart helps. You need to turn the chart around to a positive, like every time you ask me a question without whining you get a sticker. Or set the timer. No whining for 3 hours up goes a sticker. Never remove stickers. Then have a fun prize. Get 20 stickers and we sit down and play a board game. Always make it so there is room for error.

For instance instead of saying if, "if you don't whine for a whole week we'll go for ice cream," say, "if you get 50 stickers we'll go for ice cream." Give them room to mess up. We all mess up.

It takes about 3 weeks to change a very specific behavior in a child. The first week,or at least part of the week they actually enjoy the challenge and see it as a game. Then they begin to rebel. They will try to question your rules and negotiate their way around the rules saying, "Well I don't think I was whining. I wasn't really whining. Who said it was whining..." Don't let this happen. Be firm. Restate the rules. Give examples.

Week two is usually pretty rough with lots of tears. The third week is magic. All of a sudden they get that you mean business. They see that their reward is in sight, or they may have actually enjoyed their first reward.

It works. DH says I am the queen of behavior modification.

Then once on vacation continue your action plan.

 

[quiltymom]

My kids whine if they are bored. "I'm too tired!" But they are suddenly full of energy if I suggest a playground.

If this is the case for your child, how about a trip to one of the many play areas, depending upon which park. My kids loved the Boneyard & the Honey I Shrunk... movie set. 20 minutes in there with them being in total control of what they were doing, worked wonders. They were happy campers after that.

I'm planning on at least two 1-1/2 hours visits to Tom Sawyers Island this trip. Letting them run, explore and use their imaginations is wonderful medicine for them.