Where's Molly - a story of a 'disappeared' child

[SueM in MN]

Where's Molly was a story this morning on the CBS Sunday Morning Show.

Molly was a child who appeared in her older brother's pictures and all of a sudden 'disappeared'. When her brother asked about her, he was told only "She's gone." She continued to exist (as far as he knew) only in the pictures in their photo albums.

Years later, he found out that Molly was disabled and her parents had been told to institutionalize her and pretend she never existed. So, they sent her to a state institution because that was the advice of the experts at that time.
With help (and some prodding) from his wife, he looked for and found his sister and is continuing to build a relationship that was interrupted when she disappeared. After finding her, he has tried to piece together what happened and why. He has a website, a movie and works to get people reunited with the "Mollys" of their own family.

I can't fault the family - they were doing what the medical experts, society and family advised at the time as best. It had to have been an agonizing decision. With little support, resources and a society not wanting to see people with disabilities, they were between a rock and a hard place.
Given all that, those who bucked the advice and kept their children at home were very brave indeed.

I will write more after people have a chance to respond.

 

[peemagg]

I know someone who was also given that decision and choose to keep her daughter home. It was not easy with her being a tiny woman herself with another child and a husband who was not much help, but she had over 30 wonderful years with her daughter. She wouldn't have traded a minute of the hardwork and stress at all.

 

[It'sWDW4me]

Where's Molly was a story this morning on the CBS Sunday Morning Show.

Molly was a child who appeared in her older brother's pictures and all of a sudden 'disappeared'. When her brother asked about her, he was told only "She's gone." She continued to exist (as far as he knew) only in the pictures in their photo albums.

Years later, he found out that Molly was disabled and her parents had been told to institutionalize her and pretend she never existed. So, they sent her to a state institution because that was the advice of the experts at that time.
With help (and some prodding) from his wife, he looked for and found his sister and is continuing to build a relationship that was interrupted when she disappeared. After finding her, he has tried to piece together what happened and why. He has a website, a movie and works to get people reunited with the "Mollys" of their own family.

I can't fault the family - they were doing what the medical experts, society and family advised at the time as best. It had to have been an agonizing decision. With little support, resources and a society not wanting to see people with disabilities, they were between a rock and a hard place.
Given all that, those who bucked the advice and kept their children at home were very brave indeed.

I will write more after people have a chance to respond.

Sounds like a "Rainman" type of situation. Best of luck to the newly reunited siblings!

 

[alizesmom]

I pray all of the Molly's will be found. Karen

 

[Piper]

When I was 6 years old, our neighbor had a baby. My mother went to check on her after her baby's first ped appt. and could hear her crying loudly and see her rocking the baby. Something didn't seem right, so Mother went in (This was 59 years ago.)

When she went to the doctor, he had abruptly told her, "This baby is an idiot. Your best bet is to put him in a home." She was in total shock. How she got home safely from that dr appt, I'll never know. My mother stayed with her until her husband came home and they arranged to go to my pedi as if it was their first appt.

My pedi did a thorough exam and gently asked her if her husband was in the waiting room--he was. My dr sat down with them and explained that the child was what they then called a Mongoloid. He told them there were many things they could do to help him and gave them exercises to do with him and taught them some massage techniques. He told them he couldn't predict at such a young age what the outcome would be, but to have faith and love him. They worked with that doctor for many years.

There were struggles, but they persevered. He graduated from college at the age of 28 with a degree in fine arts and is doing very well today.

What if that young mother had listened to the doctor!

 

[Pinmaniac]

My youngest brother was born when I was 3. He was very violent, hardly ever talked, only ate certain things and was very difficult for my parents to deal with. I don't know if they ever gave a name to what he had but my parents were told to institutionalize him but they refused. He is in his late 30's now, holds an MBA, owns two houses and is happily married.

When my DW was pregnant we learned that our baby would be born with Spina Bifida. It was suggested by one doctor that we have an abortion. Another doctor said our DD would not walk. So far our DD (11 yrs old next week) is walking and is keeping up with grade level in school.

Just goes to show that although medicine is great - doctors don't know it all.

 

[mdvlprof]

You never know...

Parents of a youngster were told he wouldn't live past 21. ... Grandpa passed away at age 95.

 

[dyna]

After my aunt was told her son had CP she was told to put him in an institution she an my uncle took him back home. This was the late 40's. He never developed beyond the age of a crawling infant. Yet he grew to be 5' tall an weighed 120lbs at 16 yrs old. At that time my aunt an uncle did put their son in an institution. He lived there till he passed away at the age of 32.

My aunt an uncle never had a wheelchair or anything for the boy. NO child has ever had better care tho. 16 yrs of cloth diapers (my aunt made his diapers after he out grew baby sized diapers. The only equipment they had to help with him was a wooden playpen that he was put in while supper was cooked or at times he was out of control. He was able to sit up an scoot on floor on his butt never crawled never stood up.

Aunt an uncle used to take turns going to church an taking their older DD to school events after their son got to big to go out with them. My uncle was very helpful to my aunt...In my book they was heros keeping their son home as long as they could, taking care of him the way they did. It broke their hearts to put their son in that institution..the rest of that boys life they faithfully visited him every other Sunday, more often if he was sick. 3 hour drive each way...True heros faithfully visiting the way they did.

A neighbor famiy had a son back in the mid 30's who at that time they always told everyone he was dropped as a baby. At that time it just was not acceptable to have an imperfect child. His baby sister was my best friend an it was not till we was adults that we knew he actually had CP.

This boy too was kept home. He walked talked in a manner that those around him all the time could usually understand him. He was of great value on the farm able to milk cows drive tractor hang clothes on the line an take them down. Very strong hard worker...

I've often wondered what Melvin could have been had he been born even 20 yrs later after those so called imperfect children was sent to school from a very young age educated on their level an givin all the therapy etc.

Melvin moved in with a sister after their dad died, she took care of him till he was no longer able to get around by himself an needed more care than her old 70+ yr old body could do. He then went to a nursing home where his sister went an fed him lunch every day till he died at about age 72. For most of Melvins life he was productive, along with workin on the farm an around the house, he loved watching westerns on TV an loved drawing mostly horses an western type pictures....he sure had some beautiful drawings that he had done.

Both of these families was country ppl who was willing to do what they had to do to take care of their own. (That was how others in the area felt about their misfortune too) They was used to hard work an not always having an easy life. Money may have been an issue with putting their sons in an insitution. I know my aunt an uncle did not get disability on their son till he went to the insitution. The neighbor family did not get disability on Melvin till after both the parents died an it was hardship on sister to take care of Melvin esp as he got older an needed more medical care.

When I was preggers an doctor recommended test fo the spial bifda an such I lloked at him an asked WHY? I'll never abort anyway. So the doctor decided I really did not need those tests.

 

[momto3inmn]

Pinmanic, we about went through the same kind of ordeal. I came back with an issue on a blood test when pregnant, the doctor said there was evidence of a neural tube defect. At the level 2 ultrasound I had they discovered that we were having twin girls, and one of them had spina bifida. The doctor came in and told me that if we wanted, we could fly somewhere and abort the "sick one" and have the healthy one! I was so angry!

Now my "sick one" is a beautiful, happy, fun, loving 10 year old! You are so right, doctors definitely do not know it all!

 

[blondietink]

I saw that spot on Sundy Morning last week and it made me very angry at the system that put people with disabilities away in institutions.

My DS 20 was born with Down syndrome and many medical problems. We never thought to give him up and have worked hard to make him accepted in our home town. He uses a Dynavox to speak and is moderately mentally retarded. He is the kindest, sweetest person you could ever meet and has a heart of gold (and many titanium parts inside him to match). I had the AFP test when I was pregnant with him which is supposed to show up Down syndrome. The results of the test were negative for Down syndrome. The doctors looked over those blood tests again and again after he was born and could not figure out where their science went wrong.

My DS 18 has classic Autism. We had chorionic villis (sp?) sampling done when I was 10 weeks pregnant to check for known disabilities. You guessed it, no disabilities found! Of course, Autism cannot be tested for. Anyway, when it came time for the AFP test later in the pregnancy, I refused, which irked the doctor. I said, well, the blood test in my first pregnancy didn't work right, so why bother? I'll take my chances.

Anyway, I applaud Molly's brother for searching her out and now including her in his life. I hope all the Molly's out there are found and can finally have a family to call their own