Hey jade1! Sorry for teasing about the colors. I have men in my family who likewise would not accept a neon affront to their masculinity, so I do understand you trying to placate DSIL.
Our trip was in September 2013, when the MagicBands were fairly new. I'm not sure how many options were available at that time. However, we both view the bands as utilitarian rather than decorative. My husband had no interest in how it looked so I just selected red for him.
Maybe in future trips I'd get some stickers and sealant (modge podge? I don't know crafty stuff) to decorate a plain colored band. Do you think that might work for DSIL? You could get the gray band and decorate it with whatever he likes. Good luck to you!