Where to live? Soon to be Divorced

[jonestavern]

I have NEVER been good at decisions and all sorts of them are coming up for me.

I am getting divorced after 23 yrs.
No scandal, just that's the way he wants it & we're not fighting with one another. It's all very civilized.
I am heartbroken beyond words but that aside I must build another life.
These decisions are just making me spin my wheels.
I am on tranquilizers & a mess for the last almost 3 months since he walked out.

So an indecisive person is now a wreck

I'm not too cool!

So my major question is Where the heck do I live????

Let me say I have GOOGLED & GOOGLED!
I tried Savannah, GA (love the history & the manageability of the neighborhoods: too expensive); Orlando (job at WDW!!!); here in NH.

BUT:
I do have to decide where to live.
Here are some criteria:

1. I'm flexible but prefer a small town over a LARGE city.

Or at least, a manageable pocket neighborhood in a city.
ANYWHERE in the US!
If I thought Canada would let me in there, too. Or Italy or Ireland or Britain.


2.I have no family left (one sibling who lives in another--pricey state--and who is not interested) & DS will be going in the service.
So it's not like I have a healthy support system here or will be tearing myself away.

3. It is rural here so I'll need to be where I can easily drive in winter & not up in the mountains. UNLESS the apt/condo/tiny house is in walking distance of store/church etc

4. Housing: would like to get a small house (I love dogs & gardening) but it would have to be no more than $100,000 AND have 2 baths so I could rent out a room. Same for a condo.

5. I would like to be able to walk places from the apartment or condo.
I'll have a car but I would like to walk to things too.

6. I like museums, music so some cultural activities are important.

7. Since this will likely be the last place I move to it will need to be relatively near a good hospital

****************************************************
I am not getting the house. I am open to locations all over the WORLD
This house needs a LOT of work (some structural) & soon-2-b ex wants it. NOW he will fix it up (not too bitter, eh?). Quite logically, I cannot do this.
So I'm out.

I do have friends & service contacts, which would make employment here somewhat easier.
But New Hampshire is hit by the economic downturn, too.

I'm figuring everywhere will be tough.

I LOVE our small town.
I do NOT have a full time or even good paying job.
All my experience is with one small museum and a very specific one at that.
Field is notorious for demanding advanced degrees & paying very poorly.
And, get ready, I never tell, but I am nearing 60.

Looking bleak, huh?

So locations anyone?

Jean

 

[OceanAnnie]

Sorry for what you are going through.

Maybe I missed it, are you partial to a particular climate?

 

[teacups]

Wow such freedom! I dont want to say you are lucky... but you get my meaning, right? Maybe I should say this could be a wonderful opportunity for you to get a fresh start!

How are you with West Coast? California is low $ right now.
Portland Oregon is fab!
Seattle?

Maybe Maine? But you dont want snow.


Wow, good luck to you!!!!!!

 

[FINFAN]

http://www.topretirements.com/blog/...-25-best-places-to-retire-list-for-2008.html/

For your stress and worries, BUT for your awesome attitude!
I would maybe rent instead of buy, to give yourself time to get to know a new area if you do relocate. I know it is tempting to purchase as it IS a buyers market, but with som many changes and opportunities, mayeb don't lock yourself into 1 spot too soon.I posted the above link as places to retire do take into consideration fixed income, future medical etc. And heck, meeting new friends who have similar lifestyle is always a good thing!
Hang in there!

 

[bumbershoot]

Until I got to the 100,000 home...I was going to absolutely suggest Tacoma WA. It's a medium sized city that feels like a small town; you run into mayoral candidates at Costco, you know *everyone*, or at least half of everyone and they know the other half.

Weather a bit drizzly, but moderate temperatures. When it snows, things shut down; you cannot get better than that. Sure, you'll giggle at it the first couple snows, but then it's lovely. Why does it shut down? Because it's hilly. Picture it snowing in San Francisco...you wouldn't be able to drive anywhere (Tacoma is not as hilly as SF, but it's just an example).

We live just outside of downtown, in a building that is, aside from us and another set of renters, filled with LONG-retired people. Our neighbor is a famous western artist, and he's almost 100...his son has been living here since the early 70s, and the artist's daughter lives here with her husband...all retired. I've seen what the condos are going for, and it's over what you need, as are most places around here, unless you want a very small fixer-upper.

If you promise to never set foot in St Joseph "medical center", and only go to Tacoma General or Allenmore, I'll let you move to Tacoma. St Joseph isn't worth it, too dangerous there.

The place we live is walkable (with hills) to restaurants, library, banks, downtown farmer's market, grocery store (a bit more expensive than the driveable ones, but OK in a pinch and they are VERY nice there), park...just everything is within reach from here. When it did snow...wait, I lied about osmething...when it snowed this last winter, hubby made it to work all but one day. The rest of his colleagues who lived in Seattle did NOT make it to work. But hubby's commute involves a little walk, lightrail, train, and another little walk. Easy peasy. He didn't make it that one day b/c things started to melt, then iced up, and he couldn't do the walk part of the commute, so he telecommuted. Anyway, during the snow, we went to the pizza restaurant and the store, both with employees who walked in because they *wanted* to. They know that their neighbors would want them to be there! Very small town thing to do.

Glass Museum (started basically by Chihuly), Art Museum, WA history museum, all one right after the other, basically.



So except for the housing cost, and with the hospital stipulation I made, Tacoma would be good.

 

[TheBigBadWolf]

Texas. It's like a whole 'nother country!

 

[allison443]

Have you considered looking at college towns? They would usually have the cultural things you are seeking. Quite a few have their own museums. From going on college visits with my dds, we saw quite a few college towns that were walkable, and some with very nice retirement-type homes/condos geared to empty nesters.

Good luck with your new adventure!

 

[DisneyBlonde]

I'm sorry for what you're going through..but it sounds like you have a great outlook on your future, and I bet you'll find your balance in no time.

Boston is a great place and not too far from you. Virginia has some great areas. Coastal Oregon. Seattle.

I'm excited for you!

 

[GRUMPY PIRATE]

Hmm, go to Flordia and work at WDW?

 

[NHdisneylover]

Well, if you want to stay in NH--Frankling is a nice, small (but not tiny as is so often the case in NH) town (we used to live very near there). Housing tends to be very inexpensive because the perception is the schools are not so good--which does not affect you. The Franklin Opera House (I have heard the name changed to The Middle in the past few months) has a lot of theatre, music, etc. ranging from local groups (and the high school) at reasonable prices through touring shows at higher prices. The hospital is good (not great) and Concord Hospital is very good and not too far away (and the best doctor I have ever had in 6 states and two countries was in Tilton--right next door). You could easily walk all around downtown Franklin if you live on the "right" side of town. It is maybe a 5-10 minute drive out to the exit 20 area of I-93 in Tilton with the outlet mall, Khols, and other chains. Conocrd is about 30 minutes away by car and offers more cultural things and you can take the bus into Boston for (what used to be) $19 roundtrip for the day on Concord Trailways when you really want to do it up. You can also drive into the lakes region easily in 30 minutes to an hour depending on where you want to go and traffic. This offers lots of outdoor things in summer as well as several theaterical summer stock programs. Concord would be good too--bigger and more to do. Housing will be costlier and it is not as easy to walk everywhere; but it does have a bus system.

Rochester, New York is a great little city. Tons of cultural events and museums for its size. My best friend lives there and walks lots of places. I think he paid $80k for a two bedroom adorable condo about 4 years ago (only one bath but he finished the basment and put another there pretty easily) very close to many thigns (he walks to the theatre and play museum, etc.). I do not know about the hospital there but it is probably easy to research that. It is a place I would absolutely consider retiring to.

I do agree it would be a VERY good idea to rent for a year or so before committing to buying in a new area. ESPECIALLY if you go somewhere with a radically different climate than what you are used to (like you mentioned Savannah). Experience all four seasons before locking yourself in to an area.

If you like warm weather--you may look into any one of a number of areas in Mexico which have big communities of American ex-pats. Both of my parents retired to Puerto Vallarta about 12 years ago (they were beach bums for a few years and then got bored and sell real estate now). I think Puerto Vallarta has gotten too popular for you to afford (maybe not in some of hte outlying villages--I can ask my mom if you want me to) but other areas may still be within reason (maybe San Miguel de Allende)--easy enough to google if you want. The housing may run more here--but the other expensese after buying (utilities, food, property tax, medical care, bus fare) are generally much lower than in the U.S. I couldn't do it becuase I like winter--but they love it.

Best of luck to you.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

 

[DisneyFed]

First off, sorry to hear...

Secondly, Charleston, SC ain't bad..

 

[golfgal]

What about one of the suburbs around St. Louis? Housing there is affordable and there are some great towns in the area plus there is a lot to do in St. Louis and the surrounding area. Mainly it is affordable.

Since you don't mind winter, check out Marshall, Minnesota. It is a GREAT small town with a lot of job opportunities-not necessarily in the museum market but others. It is a college town so there are things to do there as well as a much needed rental market. You can find a smaller home for under $100,000 and the town is very walkable but also easy to drive in as well.

 

[KristinBelle]

How about Texas?

 

[SC Minnie]

What about looking in the Carolinas? If you look about 30min to or more outside a major city in the small towns you can get a house for a really good price. But you would still be close enough to the entertainment you want.

Just a thought.

 

[SereneOne]

How about Greenville, SC?

We have the BEST downtown, plenty of recreational activities to participate in, and if you are interested in the arts, we have plenty of that too! There are festivals all the time here and in the surrounding areas.

Housing is great, you can get a lot of house for not a lot of money. There are smaller cities on the outskirts such as Simpsonville, Mauldin, etc. Everything is practically at your doorstep, no matter where you live their are doctors offices, shopping and restaurants, etc.

We have a good hospital system, I should know, my 5yo sees seven doctors besides her peds and has had multiple surgeries and hospital stays.

You have the beach a few hours away and the mountains about an hour away.

Lots of retirees that go to Florida, end up here. I think they are called half-backs, lol!

 

[dismom2005]

Hugs to you.

You've gotten some great ideas from this board, and I also agree that renting at first would probably be best before purchasing something. Take care of yourself.

 

[Kickapoo Joie Juice]

I have an entirely different suggestion.

Take a year and wander the US. Buy a used RV, get a dog, get a map, sit down and just put stickers on every spot in the US that you might want to visit.

Then go there!

You should get some settlement money out of the divorce, figure out a budget for gas and food over the next year. You can work temp jobs if you decide you want to stay in one place for longer.

You can take a year to find a place AND to find out who you are.

Why burden yourself with a house and a mortgage? Maybe yes, eventually, but maybe you will find out after the end of a year that that's NOT what you want for yourself.

I say go explore the US, give yourself room to breathe, and find out who you are now .

 

[jonestavern]

Keep the suggestions coming please!
Wow! I knew DISers would give me some good ideas!

OceanAnnie No I don't mind snow. I can't tolerate heat but how often are you actually outside in the nasty? Just from car to store/door. So heat's not a deal breaker.

TheBigBadWolf & KristinBelle I see the Texans are out in number!
I have actually lived in Texas, twice.
Once as a young girl (Kingsville) & then in 1998 when DH worked in Dallas.
We lived in Corinth. We had a beautiful house. True, a 'MacMansion' but our DS & I liked it.
I ruled TX out because I don't think any of what friends I have or my nieces would be tempted to come visit I know this from experience.

GRUMPY PIRATEThat is why Orlando seemed attractive.
I would like to have company to visit frequently so I figured Orlando (or a nearby town) would be honey

I know CMs are paid poorly, but it wouldn't be much different for me here
The only thing that does scare me is the crime.
Here, in our neck of the woods, people don't lock their house or car doors.
Of course, we're all armed to the teeth
Sadly, I don't believe I'll ever be able to afford WDW again. 'We' have DVC but, right now, I'm figuring DH will get it as he can afford the fees. So it would give me the Magic!

allison443 great idea! If you have any suggestions PM or post them, I'm all ears
Just around here I'm thinking the Colby College area?

Mexico: I've thought of it but chucked it due to all the kidnappings & violence
Ain't nobody gonna ransom me!

NHdisneylover Right now I live in the Lakes region, but up in the hills (actually small mts)
I think I'll take a drive to Rochester! Our retired curator & his wife are from there & go back frequently, so I could ask for some tips.

bumbershoot Tacoma sounds lovely & I do have relatives on the West Coast.
Yes! the $100,000 thing is a pain. I think it is going to have to be a condo or rent!
I hate renting, no pets, no garden (at least it is that way hereabouts) & the rents are as much as our present mortgage and I like the charm & detail in an older place.
But maybe, since I'm not getting any younger a condo or apt is the way to go. It's so hard giving up having dogs.
Not to worry dog lovers: our dog is staying here at the house & will be the soon-2-B-ex's. So at least Zippy does not have to re-locate!

DisneyFed: I will look into Charleston, it is also very lovely!
Could you recommend neighborhoods or smaller outlying towns?

DisneyBlonde: I have checked out the smaller towns near Boston & out to Rhode Island, too, but they all seem pricey. DH & I were priced out of the Rhode Island market long ago that's why we moved to NH in '91.
I have to say, RI has the best weather for me & love to garden there--Zone 6 as opposed to Zone 4 here!

Golfgal: am going to google st Louis & Marshall MN.
Any particular neighborhoods you can say to keep away from or to check in to?

The Mystery Machine Thanks! I really needed that! It is quite simply one of the most disturbing times in my life, ever.
I am taking it one day at a time, hour by hour.
On the good side: although I'm still obese, I've lost 42 lbs to date (since 21 May)!

Any other advice or suggestions for this totally confused DISer?

 

[NHdisneylover]

Mexico: I've thought of it but chucked it due to all the kidnappings & violence
Ain't nobody gonna ransom me!

NHdisneylover Right now I live in the Lakes region, but up in the hills (actually small mts)
I think I'll take a drive to Rochester! Our retired curator & his wife are from there & go back frequently, so I could ask for some tips.

Hi former neighbor I was thinking you lived somewhere way up north for some reason

Mexico--I get what you are saying (and it is likely not the place for you anyway because of the heat) but I have to say MOST of the country is quite safe. It is a big place and the scary stuff (and it IS scarry) is pretty much isolated to very particular areas.

Rochester--oh yeah, go for a visit. It is not a bad drive at all from the lakes region(lots of tolls though). It will have a similar climate so that will not be a shock to your system.

Good luck finding your place

I wanted to comment on the heat thing. I do not tollerate heat well either. I lasted one year to the day in Phoenix I thought (like you posted) that it wouldn't be so bad because you just stay in the a/c (door to car to door). I notice you also asked for a place you can walk from place to place. I lived in an area where I could walk places in Phoenix and NEVER did because the heat was so unbearable to me. I just got so sick of being cooped up in doors all the time--even with bog indoor places like malls and recreation centers. I am not saying not to go somewhere warm--it works great for some people but do really think about it. If you do not do heat and you go somewhere hot how will you feel about not being comfortable to go for a walk or go into the garden?