I was working nights as a waitress on the beach. The kids would spend the night at my friend Loris house because I got home so late and I didnt want them home alone. It was about 4 hours after I got to bed when my friend Lori was pounding on my bedroom window.
Get up, were going to the lake! she was yelling at my window. Excuse me? Why do I want to go to a lake, when I work on a beach? I reached over and put my hand on the glass and showed her one of my fingers.
Hey! Nice nail polish, now GET UP! Lori screamed at my window. What time is it?
7:00 AM according to my clock. So, this is what 7:00 AM on a Saturday looks like.
I never wanted to know that.
I showed Lori another finger on the other hand, but she wasnt going to go away. She used Nikkis house key to let herself in my apartment and came into my bedroom.
Today is a big day for you, your going someplace besides work today. She said to me as she ripped my blankets off.
I think she expected me to be wearing more than I was.
I wasnt expecting company.
I decided that later when I got home from work that night at 3:00 am Id pop over to Loris house and rip the blankets off her. I felt I needed to know what the married ladies were wearing to bed those days.
Maybe not, her husband Ben was an innocent bystander.
I was afraid of what Ben might or might NOT be wearing.
Lori dragged me out of bed by my leg and forced me to get ready to go to the stupid lake. She was even trying to brush my hair for me and pull on my clothes. I was getting mad, but she was really uninterested. I tried to tell her I had to work that night, I needed to sleep. She had made her husband bring a lounge chair along just for me to sleep in. She knew I would use that excuse and was prepared for it.
I had used that excuse a few too many times.
I told Lori I couldnt go anywhere without coffee. She yelled outside for her husband Ben who walked in and put a cup of coffee in my hand.
Okay, now Ben was no longer an innocent bystander but an active participant in this 7:00 AM madness, see you at 3:00 AM buddy.
Just hope not TOO much of you.
I grumbled and complained but I still put together lunch for the kids and I, chicken kabobs.
I am pretty limited on what I can make for lunch but I can stab food pretty well.
Lori also made all of the kids, mine and hers, get in my car and scream at me to hurry up. They were blowing my horn and jumping around in the car. I guess they thought my neighbors would all like to see what 7:00 AM on a Saturday looked like too.
We got to the lake and Lori was waiting for her sister Kathys group to join us. They were running very late and Lori was getting mad. I suggested maybe she should have gone to Kathys house, yank her blankets off and harassed her instead of me.
Lori already had done that and thats why she was mad. My god, if you were at my house yanking blankets off sleeping people at 7:00 AM, what time were you at your sister Kathys? I didnt know it then, but Del was also being forced to go to the lake against his will too. He didnt drag out of bed as easily as I did.
My friend and her sister apparently go around town, yanking blankets and dragging people out of bed at an unholy hour to go to the lake.
I was wondering how long it would take me to fill the lake up with dirt one bucket at a time so innocent sleeping people could stay that way.
A couple hours later, it was time for lunch. I was standing at the picnic table putting our chicken kabobs next to the hamburgers and hotdogs on the hibachi when Del came walking down the pathway with Kathys group that was finally joining us.
Nice job, God! I thought to myself Thats a beautiful man, why cant I have a beautiful man like that? All the men that ever asked me out were complete losers that I would never want near my kids. Most of them didnt have or want a job, they sometimes had drug or drinking problems or they just bugged me.
I was quite content being single and alone.
But at that moment I was having a very nice daydream about the beautiful man walking down the pathway. I was already in love with him.
Ill tell you now; the daydream had nothing on the reality.
I was so distracted dreaming and watching Del walking down the pathway I missed the hibachi with one of my chicken kabobs and placed it on Loris husband arm instead.
I always keep my raw food on my friends.
Ben started acting like an idiot over the chicken kabob that I touched him with. He hopped up from the picnic table and started acting like a cry-baby girl wanting to know why I would ever do that to him.
Not enough sleep maybe? I could wash it off with a cup of coffee if youd like.
He was making a scene over the accidental chicken kabob touching, running around trying to find a way to wash it off. Dont attract attention over here NOW, theres a beautiful man walking down the pathway and I have no place to hide.
I thought I would probably be safe from the beautiful man, he would never notice me anyway because there were other girls there.
Pretty girls wearing bikinis.
Pretty girls who had also spent time that morning doing their hair and make-up.
To go to the lake. I did not know the lake dress code.
I had to look down at myself to see what Lori had decided I was going to wear when she was pulling on my clothes.
My shirt was on backwards.
Very nice.
The pretty girls wearing bikinis who had also spent time doing their hair and make-up to go to the lake, were drooling over the new guy who introduced himself as Del, As in farmer in the.. he said.
I was behind a tree trying to turn my shirt around.
Even though I was already in love with him, I felt he was out of my league. I was trying to stay as far away from him as I could because he made me nervous. I never had someone make me nervous before.
Everyone started gathering around the picnic table to get a plate of food, while I went to sit in my lounge chair-slash-napping chair, and Del and his friend took all my chicken kabobs.
The pretty girls wearing bikinis who had also spent time doing their hair and make-up to go to the lake, stood with their food waiting to see where Del was going to sit.
He pulled up a chair next to my lounge chair-slash-napping chair.
The pretty girls wearing bikinis who had also spent time doing their hair and make-up to go to the lake were extremely disappointed.
Hi. Del said to me. You dont say very much. As he said this to me a small piece of chicken flew out of his mouth and onto my leg.
Well, I didnt have anything to say until RIGHT NOW.
Being a gentleman, he looked at the chicken and said My mother always told me to share. He reached over and wiped the chicken off my leg.
I was in love with a chicken spitter.
He was paying too much attention to me and it was making napping impossible. He was also busy being the life of the party; everyone was laughing and having a very good time at his jokes. Everyone at the lake knew Del liked me, and I was getting more self-conscious about it. I got up and moved my chair away from everyone, safely behind the chicken spitter.
I figured if a guy like that was paying attention to me, it HAD to be for the wrong reasons. Why would a guy like that, who was single, had a group of bikini wearing Barbie dolls drooling over him pay attention to the older divorced lady with three kids?
I had four brothers; I thought I knew what he thought of me.
As the afternoon went on Del was still paying too much attention to me and started playing ball with my DS Chris (almost 14yrs. old at that time) while I was busy trying to hide from him. Del and Chris were talking about me and Del asked Chris if he was older wouldnt he want to date me? You DO know thats my MOM, right dude? Chris asked him.
Del had no idea. He was a little embarrassed because he had been telling Chris that I was hot. Chris had a lot of fun with that.
Things werent going very well for him so far, or so he thought, because he didnt know I was in love with him.
But Del wasnt going to give up, Thank God, he asked Kathy to ask me if I would take a walk with him. Where? I asked looking around at the lake and trees.
In the woods. Kathy said.
Where a body could be hidden?!?
I dont walk around in the woods with strange men even if I am in love with them. No way. I told her. She asked if he could ride back to town with me when we left the lake. Again I said No way. My kids would be in that car and I didnt want them to see their mother murdered.
I didnt know him and I was afraid of him. I was afraid of most men especially when they paid so much attention to me.
I had a small self-esteem problem.
And I watched too much crime TV.
Kathy was getting mad at me for not co-operating This is the guy youre going to marry, you know.
I started packing up my belongings and kids because I had to get to work that night. Del wanted me to stay very badly and kept asking me to call out of work. I explained to him I couldnt my boss would kill me, besides I needed the money.
I couldnt believe what he said next. He really didnt mean it the way it came out, he didnt think before he spoke it. He was busy thinking up ways to get me to stay.
Ill pay you what you would have made tonight if you stay. How much?
I looked at Kathy and asked her if I just heard that right, did a strange, possibly murdering man just offer to PAY me to stay?
Bye-bye.
I left the lake, only slightly insulted but still in love with him. I thought about him the entire time I was driving home and getting ready for work.
I was fine at work for about 10 minutes when Del, Kathy and her boyfriend showed up. Del kept apologizing for what he had said; he didnt mean it the way I took it.
It was okay, I still loved him, but I wasnt going to let him know that. I was flattered that he came down to my job to tell me.
Then I couldnt hold on to anything. The bartender was getting mad at me because I was supposed to be the good waitress; I was fast, never made mistakes and never dropped anything.
Del kept tipping me $5.00 for every $2.50 beer he got. He also kept staring at me.
One of my other tables wore their beers because I dropped the tray.
One table never got served at all.
The last straw was when I went to the bar and ordered a Rolling Rock. We have never sold Rolling Rock in the three years I had worked there.
I was sent on a break. I went into the ladies room to pull myself together when Kathy followed me in and shoved me into a stall. There wasnt enough room for both of us and I ended up standing on the toilet seat.
Just so you know, when you stand on a toilet seat in a public restroom, you can see into the other stalls. The lady in the next stall looked up at me horrified because she didnt know I was being crammed into it but a crazy person. I looked down at her and said Hi! Can I bring you another drink?
She didnt think it was funny.
Guess Im not good at toilet humor.
Kathy was begging me to give Del a chance. I really wanted to, I was in love with him and everything, but I didnt think we had much in common.
She kept insisting that Del was the guy I was going to marry. She wanted me to hurry up and start dating him so she could start planning the wedding.
The lady in the next stall had left, in a big hurry I might add, so I climbed over the stall and make a break for it.
When I went back to the bar, the bartender handed me a rose. It wasnt unusual for the waitresses to be given roses by the customers, however when the bartender gave it to me he told me it was from my future husband.
Everyone but me knew Del & I would end up together. Im a little slow.
Del attracted a lot of attention from the bar fly girls. The bartender & I spent the evening watching different girls throw themselves at him and him being totally oblivious to it. I thought it was an act, until one girl went over to him and bent over in his face.
To which he pushed her aside because she was blocking his view of me.
That girl wouldnt tip me again the rest of the night.
Del asked me again to go out with him, just one drink when I got out of work. I told him no. I explained to him that even though I was flattered that he was interested in me I couldnt get involved with anyone because I had kids.
He knew that, he had met Chris. He told me he had a daughter and he knew all about having kids.
He had a toddler in diapers, yeah, thats the same thing as teenagers.
So a few weeks went by, I was regretting not going for that drink with Del and Chris birthday rolled around. At his party I asked Chris if he got everything he wanted. He told me I will if you go out with the funny guy from the lake.
It really was my kids that convinced me to start dating Del. They picked him. My kids never liked anyone near me, but they instantly loved Del. Chris MADE me make the phone call to Del and we started dating.
It was because of Dels baby Emily that we became a family.
One afternoon, Nikki & I went to Dels second floor apartment that he shared with a couple other guys. Del wanted to buy us Chinese take-out for lunch. Emily was toddling around with her bottle, being just as sweet as ever while we were looking at the menu.
Ill never forget the TERROR in Dels voice when he suddenly said OH, Please, God, NO! as he ran out the front door. I had no idea what had just happened until Nikki pointed at the window. Mom! she cried. The curtains where pulled outside the window.
My God! Dels baby girl tumbled out the window!
Get up, were going to the lake! she was yelling at my window. Excuse me? Why do I want to go to a lake, when I work on a beach? I reached over and put my hand on the glass and showed her one of my fingers.
Hey! Nice nail polish, now GET UP! Lori screamed at my window. What time is it?
7:00 AM according to my clock. So, this is what 7:00 AM on a Saturday looks like.
I never wanted to know that.
I showed Lori another finger on the other hand, but she wasnt going to go away. She used Nikkis house key to let herself in my apartment and came into my bedroom.
Today is a big day for you, your going someplace besides work today. She said to me as she ripped my blankets off.
I think she expected me to be wearing more than I was.
I wasnt expecting company.
I decided that later when I got home from work that night at 3:00 am Id pop over to Loris house and rip the blankets off her. I felt I needed to know what the married ladies were wearing to bed those days.
Maybe not, her husband Ben was an innocent bystander.
I was afraid of what Ben might or might NOT be wearing.
Lori dragged me out of bed by my leg and forced me to get ready to go to the stupid lake. She was even trying to brush my hair for me and pull on my clothes. I was getting mad, but she was really uninterested. I tried to tell her I had to work that night, I needed to sleep. She had made her husband bring a lounge chair along just for me to sleep in. She knew I would use that excuse and was prepared for it.
I had used that excuse a few too many times.
I told Lori I couldnt go anywhere without coffee. She yelled outside for her husband Ben who walked in and put a cup of coffee in my hand.
Okay, now Ben was no longer an innocent bystander but an active participant in this 7:00 AM madness, see you at 3:00 AM buddy.
Just hope not TOO much of you.
I grumbled and complained but I still put together lunch for the kids and I, chicken kabobs.
I am pretty limited on what I can make for lunch but I can stab food pretty well.
Lori also made all of the kids, mine and hers, get in my car and scream at me to hurry up. They were blowing my horn and jumping around in the car. I guess they thought my neighbors would all like to see what 7:00 AM on a Saturday looked like too.
We got to the lake and Lori was waiting for her sister Kathys group to join us. They were running very late and Lori was getting mad. I suggested maybe she should have gone to Kathys house, yank her blankets off and harassed her instead of me.
Lori already had done that and thats why she was mad. My god, if you were at my house yanking blankets off sleeping people at 7:00 AM, what time were you at your sister Kathys? I didnt know it then, but Del was also being forced to go to the lake against his will too. He didnt drag out of bed as easily as I did.
My friend and her sister apparently go around town, yanking blankets and dragging people out of bed at an unholy hour to go to the lake.
I was wondering how long it would take me to fill the lake up with dirt one bucket at a time so innocent sleeping people could stay that way.
A couple hours later, it was time for lunch. I was standing at the picnic table putting our chicken kabobs next to the hamburgers and hotdogs on the hibachi when Del came walking down the pathway with Kathys group that was finally joining us.
Nice job, God! I thought to myself Thats a beautiful man, why cant I have a beautiful man like that? All the men that ever asked me out were complete losers that I would never want near my kids. Most of them didnt have or want a job, they sometimes had drug or drinking problems or they just bugged me.
I was quite content being single and alone.
But at that moment I was having a very nice daydream about the beautiful man walking down the pathway. I was already in love with him.
Ill tell you now; the daydream had nothing on the reality.
I was so distracted dreaming and watching Del walking down the pathway I missed the hibachi with one of my chicken kabobs and placed it on Loris husband arm instead.
I always keep my raw food on my friends.
Ben started acting like an idiot over the chicken kabob that I touched him with. He hopped up from the picnic table and started acting like a cry-baby girl wanting to know why I would ever do that to him.
Not enough sleep maybe? I could wash it off with a cup of coffee if youd like.
He was making a scene over the accidental chicken kabob touching, running around trying to find a way to wash it off. Dont attract attention over here NOW, theres a beautiful man walking down the pathway and I have no place to hide.
I thought I would probably be safe from the beautiful man, he would never notice me anyway because there were other girls there.
Pretty girls wearing bikinis.
Pretty girls who had also spent time that morning doing their hair and make-up.
To go to the lake. I did not know the lake dress code.
I had to look down at myself to see what Lori had decided I was going to wear when she was pulling on my clothes.
My shirt was on backwards.
Very nice.
The pretty girls wearing bikinis who had also spent time doing their hair and make-up to go to the lake, were drooling over the new guy who introduced himself as Del, As in farmer in the.. he said.
I was behind a tree trying to turn my shirt around.
Even though I was already in love with him, I felt he was out of my league. I was trying to stay as far away from him as I could because he made me nervous. I never had someone make me nervous before.
Everyone started gathering around the picnic table to get a plate of food, while I went to sit in my lounge chair-slash-napping chair, and Del and his friend took all my chicken kabobs.
The pretty girls wearing bikinis who had also spent time doing their hair and make-up to go to the lake, stood with their food waiting to see where Del was going to sit.
He pulled up a chair next to my lounge chair-slash-napping chair.
The pretty girls wearing bikinis who had also spent time doing their hair and make-up to go to the lake were extremely disappointed.
Hi. Del said to me. You dont say very much. As he said this to me a small piece of chicken flew out of his mouth and onto my leg.
Well, I didnt have anything to say until RIGHT NOW.
Being a gentleman, he looked at the chicken and said My mother always told me to share. He reached over and wiped the chicken off my leg.
I was in love with a chicken spitter.
He was paying too much attention to me and it was making napping impossible. He was also busy being the life of the party; everyone was laughing and having a very good time at his jokes. Everyone at the lake knew Del liked me, and I was getting more self-conscious about it. I got up and moved my chair away from everyone, safely behind the chicken spitter.
I figured if a guy like that was paying attention to me, it HAD to be for the wrong reasons. Why would a guy like that, who was single, had a group of bikini wearing Barbie dolls drooling over him pay attention to the older divorced lady with three kids?
I had four brothers; I thought I knew what he thought of me.
As the afternoon went on Del was still paying too much attention to me and started playing ball with my DS Chris (almost 14yrs. old at that time) while I was busy trying to hide from him. Del and Chris were talking about me and Del asked Chris if he was older wouldnt he want to date me? You DO know thats my MOM, right dude? Chris asked him.
Del had no idea. He was a little embarrassed because he had been telling Chris that I was hot. Chris had a lot of fun with that.
Things werent going very well for him so far, or so he thought, because he didnt know I was in love with him.
But Del wasnt going to give up, Thank God, he asked Kathy to ask me if I would take a walk with him. Where? I asked looking around at the lake and trees.
In the woods. Kathy said.
Where a body could be hidden?!?
I dont walk around in the woods with strange men even if I am in love with them. No way. I told her. She asked if he could ride back to town with me when we left the lake. Again I said No way. My kids would be in that car and I didnt want them to see their mother murdered.
I didnt know him and I was afraid of him. I was afraid of most men especially when they paid so much attention to me.
I had a small self-esteem problem.
And I watched too much crime TV.
Kathy was getting mad at me for not co-operating This is the guy youre going to marry, you know.
I started packing up my belongings and kids because I had to get to work that night. Del wanted me to stay very badly and kept asking me to call out of work. I explained to him I couldnt my boss would kill me, besides I needed the money.
I couldnt believe what he said next. He really didnt mean it the way it came out, he didnt think before he spoke it. He was busy thinking up ways to get me to stay.
Ill pay you what you would have made tonight if you stay. How much?
I looked at Kathy and asked her if I just heard that right, did a strange, possibly murdering man just offer to PAY me to stay?
Bye-bye.
I left the lake, only slightly insulted but still in love with him. I thought about him the entire time I was driving home and getting ready for work.
I was fine at work for about 10 minutes when Del, Kathy and her boyfriend showed up. Del kept apologizing for what he had said; he didnt mean it the way I took it.
It was okay, I still loved him, but I wasnt going to let him know that. I was flattered that he came down to my job to tell me.
Then I couldnt hold on to anything. The bartender was getting mad at me because I was supposed to be the good waitress; I was fast, never made mistakes and never dropped anything.
Del kept tipping me $5.00 for every $2.50 beer he got. He also kept staring at me.
One of my other tables wore their beers because I dropped the tray.
One table never got served at all.
The last straw was when I went to the bar and ordered a Rolling Rock. We have never sold Rolling Rock in the three years I had worked there.
I was sent on a break. I went into the ladies room to pull myself together when Kathy followed me in and shoved me into a stall. There wasnt enough room for both of us and I ended up standing on the toilet seat.
Just so you know, when you stand on a toilet seat in a public restroom, you can see into the other stalls. The lady in the next stall looked up at me horrified because she didnt know I was being crammed into it but a crazy person. I looked down at her and said Hi! Can I bring you another drink?
She didnt think it was funny.
Guess Im not good at toilet humor.
Kathy was begging me to give Del a chance. I really wanted to, I was in love with him and everything, but I didnt think we had much in common.
She kept insisting that Del was the guy I was going to marry. She wanted me to hurry up and start dating him so she could start planning the wedding.
The lady in the next stall had left, in a big hurry I might add, so I climbed over the stall and make a break for it.
When I went back to the bar, the bartender handed me a rose. It wasnt unusual for the waitresses to be given roses by the customers, however when the bartender gave it to me he told me it was from my future husband.
Everyone but me knew Del & I would end up together. Im a little slow.
Del attracted a lot of attention from the bar fly girls. The bartender & I spent the evening watching different girls throw themselves at him and him being totally oblivious to it. I thought it was an act, until one girl went over to him and bent over in his face.
To which he pushed her aside because she was blocking his view of me.
That girl wouldnt tip me again the rest of the night.
Del asked me again to go out with him, just one drink when I got out of work. I told him no. I explained to him that even though I was flattered that he was interested in me I couldnt get involved with anyone because I had kids.
He knew that, he had met Chris. He told me he had a daughter and he knew all about having kids.
He had a toddler in diapers, yeah, thats the same thing as teenagers.
So a few weeks went by, I was regretting not going for that drink with Del and Chris birthday rolled around. At his party I asked Chris if he got everything he wanted. He told me I will if you go out with the funny guy from the lake.
It really was my kids that convinced me to start dating Del. They picked him. My kids never liked anyone near me, but they instantly loved Del. Chris MADE me make the phone call to Del and we started dating.
It was because of Dels baby Emily that we became a family.
One afternoon, Nikki & I went to Dels second floor apartment that he shared with a couple other guys. Del wanted to buy us Chinese take-out for lunch. Emily was toddling around with her bottle, being just as sweet as ever while we were looking at the menu.
Ill never forget the TERROR in Dels voice when he suddenly said OH, Please, God, NO! as he ran out the front door. I had no idea what had just happened until Nikki pointed at the window. Mom! she cried. The curtains where pulled outside the window.
My God! Dels baby girl tumbled out the window!
OF COURSE, this couldn't be a normal story. There have to be crazy twists and cliffhangers for a good Delswife/Scuba Steve story. 
, but since we know she just went to Disney, we'll let you slide.
