Where do you stand on this?

[gwynne]

This is almost exactly like the bathroom thread.

"If you don't let my kid use your private restroom, he's going to pee all over your floor."

"If you don't give my kid a steaming hot meal, she's going to scream & scratch people."

Perhaps, this teenager was calm after she ate & was calm when the paramedics boarded, but the pilot had NO WAY of knowing if she would continue to stay calm for the remainder of the flight.

At the point the mom made the threat, the pilot then had to protect the flight & the rest of the passengers. According to the mother's own words, her daughter is capable of injuring (scratching) other people if she doesn't get her way. The mother basically told the flight crew, "If my daughter doesn't get her way, I'm not capable of controlling her." The pilot then can do nothing but land the plane - he can't continue the flight w/ a possibly uncontrollable passenger on board.

I feel for the mom, but, as parents, we have to take responsibility & accountability for our children - we cannot assume that our children can be accommodated in every single situation, so, then, we have to be smart enough & "with it" enough to plan accordingly.

This. Exactly this. You explained it very well.

 

[robinb]

But then wouldn't this open up requests from all "in the back of the plane"?
Who is to decide whether this one or that one has a legitimate reason to request food from 1st class?
If you need hot food-Fly 1st class.....but as others pointed out it may not be a flight with a meal that is heated-just cold sandwich
This woman was adamant that her DD needed super hot food

Sorry, I don't buy the "slippery slope" argument. This isn't 2nd grade where you have to bring plenty of candy for everyone.

FWIW, I agree with most here that the mom could have handled things better and could have made better choices so she didn't need a hot meal from FC. Many good solutions have been offered here on this thread, including booking a FC seat next time. I'm just not willing to vilify and demonize her for doing her best for her child in the situation she was in, even if she was there by her own mistakes.

 

[cabanafrau]

Jambalaya - all around! (Heated, with steam!)

I'll take mine without onion, please.

 

[asta]

The mom is running a PR campaign in order to bolster her lawsuit but I don't think it is helping her. I noticed in the video that opens with the teen swinging that she makes a point of spoon feeding the girl directly from a pot of something cooking on the stove. I would be surprised if any airline food is that hot. If it is someone would probably sue for being served food so hot it burned them.

 

[cabanafrau]

Sorry, I don't buy the "slippery slope" argument. This isn't 2nd grade where you have to bring plenty of candy for everyone.

FWIW, I agree with most here that the mom could have handled things better and could have made better choices so she didn't need a hot meal from FC. Many good solutions have been offered here on this thread, including booking a FC seat next time. I'm just not willing to vilify and demonize her for doing her best for her child in the situation she was in, even if she was there by her own mistakes.

Problem being it seems mom is attempting to use this as a teachable moment for the others to learn what they did wrong, and how the system must change.

 

[robinb]

Problem being it seems mom is attempting to use this as a teachable moment for the others to learn what they did wrong, and how the system must change.

I wonder what came first, the "teachable moment" or the You Tube video showing her being escorted off the plane. This could all be part of her trying to save face after the video came out ... all of which seems to be totally backfiring on her.

 

[goofyintoronto]

"If you don't give my kid a steaming hot meal, she's going to scream & scratch people."
Perhaps, this teenager was calm after she ate & was calm when the paramedics boarded, but the pilot had NO WAY of knowing if she would continue to stay calm for the remainder of the flight.
At the point the mom made the threat, the pilot then had to protect the flight & the rest of the passengers. According to the mother's own words, her daughter is capable of injuring (scratching) other people if she doesn't get her way. The mother basically told the flight crew, "If my daughter doesn't get her way, I'm not capable of controlling her." The pilot then can do nothing but land the plane - he can't continue the flight w/ a possibly uncontrollable passenger on board.

This. Exactly this. She pretty much said "I cant control her if she loses it". I honestly dont blame the pilot for what he did in this case.

 

[gwynne]

Sorry, I don't buy the "slippery slope" argument. This isn't 2nd grade where you have to bring plenty of candy for everyone.

FWIW, I agree with most here that the mom could have handled things better and could have made better choices so she didn't need a hot meal from FC. Many good solutions have been offered here on this thread, including booking a FC seat next time. I'm just not willing to vilify and demonize her for doing her best for her child in the situation she was in, even if she was there by her own mistakes.

But the thing is, it's an airplane. No one, not even a mom of a special needs teenager, gets to make demands of FA's. Demanding First Class food be delivered to coach is not reasonable. Threatening the possibility of bodily harm is also not reasonable. It sounds like Mom accommodates the piping hot food need every day, and that is fine. It's none of our business what she does at home. On a plane, though, it's a different situation. Follow the rules and policies of the airline, the directives of the FA's and crew... or don't fly.
(Or book First Class where the special accommodation desired is provided.)

 

[NewRVLady]

http://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation/2015/05/11/flight-grounded-autism/27123423/
In this video the DAD says she DID get out of control on the flight and scratched Him-he pointed out it was a small scratch-but it still was a scratch

 

[SMD]

The mother's story also seems to be that the daughter calmed down, then the emergency landing announcement was made. In all likelihood the arrangements for the landing had already been made long before the announcement, that they were already diverting and it was too late to take it back. Plus, as others have said, once something has happened, the pilot and the airline shouldn't take the risk that it will happen again. This is not like dad threatening to turn the car around by changing lanes and then going back because everyone is behaving. I don't think that the mom's version of events gets her anywhere with her argument that the plane should not have landed. And of course, once the decision was made to make the emergency landing, the family was obviously going to be removed from the flight, that's pretty standard.

 

[EMom]

The airline doesn't need training. The mom does.

If your adult sized teen becomes uncontrollable and potentially violent when X, Y or Z does not go their way, that is unfortunate. But which party should deal with the fallout from that? The burden falls to either the immediate family, the airline or the passengers. Of those three, it's the responsibility of the FAMILY to bear the burden.

 

[sam_gordon]

Do you REALLY think that ANY person NOT in First Class has the right to ask this?? Really??
Even if they ask NICELY?

(as OTHERS have said-OFTEN the first class meal is not a HOT meal or its a SNACK

Yes, EVERYONE has the right to ASK for whatever. However, someone in coach doesn't have the right to DEMAND they get something from FC. There's a big difference between asking and demanding.

 

[JanaDee]

Unfortunately Jana, and I know I'll get flamed for this but it's because some where along the line we've adopted a "children are precious jewels that everyone must love at all times" mentality.

It's become standard that everyone must be understanding and patient with someone else's kids, no matter what.

Can you imagine being the passenger on that plane who may now miss their connection due to this and dare voice anger at this mom?

I agree with you. We've also adopted the "it is everyone else's responsibility to do what I should have done myself".

 

[JanaDee]

Wow. You don't need to shout. Yes, I think that in this specific case it was a legitimate request. I think was her biggest mistake was putting her in the situation where the hot food from first class was necessary instead of making sure she had food in a thermos as suggested by others on this thread.

No, it wasn't a legitimate request. If you want the food from First Class, you pay for First Class. Even then, you rarely get a hot meal.

 

[KiKi Mouse]

So if this 15 y/o girl had a meltdown and scratched other passengers then what?
When I fly I expect myself and my family to be safe from being assaulted.

 

[KiKi Mouse]

I agree with you. We've also adopted the "it is everyone else's responsibility to do what I should have done myself".

Yep, the lack of planning on my part is now an emergency on your part.

 

[nugov2]

http://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation/2015/05/11/flight-grounded-autism/27123423/
In this video the DAD says she DID get out of control on the flight and scratched Him-he pointed out it was a small scratch-but it still was a scratch

This woman's YouTube video is called fear of autism. This woman is making it out like they targeted her DD because she is autistic and that burns me. I can't stand when people use their children as pawns to further their cause and to get the spotlight when it is for their personal gain and not to really help their child or their cause. This woman is a piece of work. Ugh...I hope karma bites her.

 

[Imzadi]

Fully on the side of the airline. The family brags about extensive travel in their past so they know how airlines operate. It sounds like they figured out how to get first class treatment while paying coach prices. I wonder how much special treatment in other areas of their life that they demand by threatening to hurt others.

The mom used the daughter's potential violence to threaten and intimidate the crew. They called her bluff. I don't want to be on a flight anywhere near someone (who looks to be adult size) having that kind of a meltdown. Something tells me this mom bullies and threatens her way to a lot of special treatment.

hummm....the plot thickens...sounds like a publicity stunt now

http://www.combarriers.com/

Problem being it seems mom is attempting to use this as a teachable moment for the others to learn what they did wrong, and how the system must change.

From snippets of the mother's bio that Happy Snowman linked to, it says:

"My education, my work, and my passion are to help people from all races who are trapped in poverty. I want them to have genuine options for lifelong success. This can only happen if the voices of those struggling with poverty can be heard and their perspectives understood. [...]

"Dr. Donna M. Beegle provides inspirational, motivational, informative speeches [...]

"Donna weaves personal experiences with research to provide insights for communicating and working more effectively across race, poverty, gender, and generational barriers. [...]"
​

This woman is a "poverty fighter," finding ways to change or buck the system to get people in poverty situations things they wouldn't ordinarily get. I also get a whiff that the mother had planned to USE her child's autism to get a hot meal while booked in Coach and then be able to speak about her "personal experience" where people at the poverty level don't HAVE to book First Class tickets, don't HAVE to arrange with the airlines ahead of time for a hot meal they may be charged for, but simply thought she could bully and threaten her way into being given a hot meal for her daughter, if the situation arose. Then she could speak about it at her many events.

This is a woman who would NEVER buy her & her child a first class ticket to proactively prepare for or accommodate her autistic child's needs herself. She fully expected she could bully and threaten the airlines into giving her what she wanted. Thus, her not being prepared in any way, nor changing their plans when her child refused to eat the hot meal at the airport. (I'd love it if they could track down the airport restaurant waiter who served them, and was that person told the child needed the food with "steam rolling off it." And since the child wouldn't eat it, WHY didn't they order something else hot for the picky eater to eat instead? Oh! They would have been charged for the extra meal. )

What I find really ironic is that her bio claims she can speak in an inspirational & motivational manner. Yet, we are so far, ONLY hearing the story from her side of it, her OWN words in news clips, and just from what she has said herself, nothing from the airlines, SHE is not coming off in a good light, judging from how many posters here disagree with her and/or are giving the airlines the benefit of the doubt. She does NOT know how to present herself in a way that is proactive and not a victim. And she's turning it into a situation about autism when it is not one, so she could "help" other parents of autistic children get rules bent to get what they want.

So it seems they were on their way back from Disney World, according to one article I read. I wonder if the mom is on the DIS?

The flight originated in Houston, TX. Not sure how they were coming from WDW unless this was a leg of the flight.

 

[tinah159]

I would venture to say that she was taking care of her child's needs by (1) attempting to feed her at the airport and (2) asking for a hot meal in-flight.

What would you have her do differently?

Not bring her child on the flight.

 

[NHdisneylover]

I'm just not willing to vilify and demonize her for doing her best for her child in the situation she was in, even if she was there by her own mistakes.

To be fair, the only reason people are talking about other things the mother/parents could have/should have done is that the mother has made a big stink, gone to the press and is suing the airline. I have no issue with her doing "the best she could in the situation she was in" or even with her possibly sounding threatening and demanding on the plane just from being stressed herself as can easily happen to a parent coping with a meltdown in a place where that can be a big issue.
But once no longer in the throes of the situation she is trying to place blame for that situation where I am not so sure that it lies (and if it does a bit, not to the extent of her reaction, IMO). I doubt anyone would be criticizing, or vilifying the mother if she were not trying to vilify the airline, flight attendants and pilot.