When Your Spouse Has To Work . . .

[Jing]

We have been planning this vacation for a year and the timing was chosen because it was supposed to be a lull in a couple of major work projects for hubs. Well he just got word that one of those projects was going to need his attention ahead of schedule so he is going to have to be somewhat on-call during our September trip. It is one of those situations where he says "Oh, I'll just answer emails at night and may need an hour or so in the mornings" - a well intended attempt to belay my disappointment, but also total BS.

We have a 2.5 year old who is almost potty trained and we are staying at Beach Club with park-hoppers. My thoughts are that Mr. Littles and I will do rope drop and then have hubs meet us in the parks or back at the hotel for lunch, do some afternoon napping/touring together, then he and I will catch some of the nighttime entertainment while hubs takes care of business. Realistic plan? Alternatives? Would love to hear from folks who have gone with their toddler with little-no other adult support.

 

[jeepnjudy]

I think this depends on your toddler. When I was a single parent with my oldest we would go to Disney together and stay in the park all day. However, he was a good stroller sleeper so I could walk around and enjoy other things while he was napping. If you're going back to the room to take a nap break anyway, why can't DH work on his project then? Would that be an option?

 

[Jing]

Naps are so-so these days, but he is a champion stroller sleeper.

 

[linkelly]

My husband usually has to do some work on our annual trip to WDW. We always stay at the YC/BC and naps are when he gets his work done at the hotel. He'll go out early with us and during nap time our toddler will go down and he will get his work done.

Hope it works out for u guys!

 

[TravelingTotMom]

I've taken my two year old son up to Disney on day trips several times by myself, and we've always had a blast.

Honestly, the only semi challenge I have had is handling him and the stroller on trams or busses. You would only have to deal with it on busses, but as long as you have a lighter weight stroller and your son is good at listening (can stand next to you while you fold your stroller up and hold your hand to get on the bus), then you will be just fine. Also, I have almost always had other parents offer to help by holding open a tram door or hanging on to the stroller for a second while we get settled on busses.

Also, it would probably be a good idea to use FastPasses when it is just the two of you or plan on going on rides that don't usually have long waits. Waiting in a long line with a toddler is bad enough with two parents trying to entertain them...

 

[Macprincess]

Is it possible to postpone the trip to another date when your husband can actually put all his focus on the family? Or is his job, much like my own husbands, one where it will probably always have a possibility of interfering with family vacations? If it's the latter I highly suggest going in with the attitude that your going to travel with your child and anytime he is able to join you is a bonus. I would plan around what you want to do with your son and plan a schedule that works for the two of you. Keep your cell phone charged so hubby can reach you and meet up with you whenever he is able.

I found that my only challenge traveling alone to the parks when the children were toddlers was the whole stroller folding issue on and off Disney transportation. For me it was worth the extra money to just take what we needed in a backpack, freeing up hands to walk to transportation with my toddler and then renting the stroller once I got in the parks. Everyone is different you might find you need a stroller. I also rented a car one trip, I had a 4 year old, 2 year old, and was prego with baby #3. I needed the double stroller and for my peace of mind I wanted both kids strapped in while getting to and from transportation. I found it easier to drive to the parks and just walk with the kids in the stroller to the front gates. At Magic Kingdom I avoided the parking lot tram, walking to the ticket and transportation center, and took the boat over the seven seas lagoon which allowed for easier maneuvering of the stroller and no need to fold it up.

In a perfect world I would love to have my husband be able to escape work completely and focus on us for just one stinking week a year. Unfortunately, I have had to deal with the fact that this is not our families reality. It ticks me off at times but it is what it is. I hope this is not a normal way of life for you forever. However, if it is I would advise you to learn to go with the flow and appreciate the time you get together. I spent far too many vacations pissed off over this and that put a damper on the time we did have...I have also learned as our children got older and school limited our availability even further to just go ahead and plan vacations when the children and I can travel. Otherwise we would never get vacations and I need a vacation for my sanity every year. If my husband is able to join us for all or part of the trip we consider it a bonus...Ironically, after missing out on a few trips he has begun to make more of an effort now to figure out ways to travel and still work.

 

[Jing]

Hubs is an author/journalist. Unless the internet disappears, this is life. I am taking that same attitude of "bonus" since it is psychologically better for me to plan for his participation to be minimal. @Macprincess pregnant and outnumbered?! You are hardcore supermom!

Mr. Littles still allows babywearing, so that makes things a bit easier for mornings at MK/AK. Afternoons or planned days at DHS/Epcot we can stroll the whole time since we will walk it (umbrellas and stroller cover are packed!).

 

[FortForever]

. It ticks me off at times but it is what it is. I hope this is not a normal way of life for you forever. However, if it is I would advise you to learn to go with the flow and appreciate the time you get together. I spent far too many vacations pissed off over this and that put a damper on the time we did have...

This sounds like my life. Only difference is, my husband was never working, he was just a selfish jerk who would disappear and do his own thing. One minute he would be there, the next, I was alone with 4 kids. I just decided to stop being mad about it and enjoy the time with my kids. They grew up very quickly, and I have lots of sweet memories that he doesn't. His loss.

Although he has never admitted it, or said anything, I'm sure he regrets it. We have 4 grandchildren whom he dotes on. We have taken them to Disney, camping, fishing, museums, and lots of other places. He never wanders off. He is all about spending time with the kids.

Mr. Littles still allows babywearing,

You must physically fit and strong! I can barely lift a 2.5 year old anymore. I'm glad you are still able to do it, in any event. With the internet now, so many young moms seem to be in competition to make their babies grow up way too fast. Keep that baby close as long as he will let you.

 

[scrapquitler]

We have been planning this vacation for a year and the timing was chosen because it was supposed to be a lull in a couple of major work projects for hubs. Well he just got word that one of those projects was going to need his attention ahead of schedule so he is going to have to be somewhat on-call during our September trip. It is one of those situations where he says "Oh, I'll just answer emails at night and may need an hour or so in the mornings" - a well intended attempt to belay my disappointment, but also total BS.

We have a 2.5 year old who is almost potty trained and we are staying at Beach Club with park-hoppers. My thoughts are that Mr. Littles and I will do rope drop and then have hubs meet us in the parks or back at the hotel for lunch, do some afternoon napping/touring together, then he and I will catch some of the nighttime entertainment while hubs takes care of business. Realistic plan? Alternatives? Would love to hear from folks who have gone with their toddler with little-no other adult support.

My husband always has to work on our trips, and we do pretty much what you are describing (but my little guy is 13). Hubby always gets up earlier than us anyway, so he works for an hour or two in the morning and deals with anything that came up overnight (worldwide clients, so things are 24/7 for him). We go to the park together, and he might have to take a call or check emails and touch base with the programmers or clients, and if that happens we will ride a ride or something while he take a time out to do that. We always take an afternoon break, and sometimes Hubby has to deal with work things again while we rest. Later in the evening, he might have to work a little bit again before he goes to bed. He just works it in when he has to, and the clients and his programmers know that he will be in touch when they really need him, but he will also tell them to shove off when they start being ridiculous.

We just make it work, it's the way our life is, and it allows DH enough flexibility that we CAN go when we want, so it's a minor inconvenience that we don't complain about. Even if he's working 4 or 5 hours during the day on our trip, it's a LOT less than he works regularly.

The one thing that I would suggest is to have hubby make a deal with work that there will be at least one or two days on the trip when he will be out of touch completely if at all possible, or at least just certain times that they know not to call him. My husband blocks times out on his calendar that say "do not disturb" and he doesn't look at his emails or texts during those times at all.

 

[SandyinMonterey]

I lived the last 16 years with every vacation my husband doing some sort of work. We got married at WDW, I recall going to our rehearsal and my husband was on the phone with work. My husband was a CIO/Senior VP so I understood to some extent. But as the years went by and it was every time, every vacation, even weekend trips...it got to me. We lived in California and would travel every summer to NJ to visit friends and family for two weeks. He worked almost every day. Once it was so bad, the COO gave him all his vacation days back. The CEO was always emailing, calling or texting him for reports fully aware he was on vacation. My husband always gave sufficient notice of time off, worked 60 plus hours a week (not including weekends) and I felt should be left alone. Towards the end, it got to my husband. I remember be in Hawaii and his boss was asking for numbers, reports, etc...the usual. I said enough is enough, shut it down and he did. I was shocked. But the best way I felt I could handle it was to best support my husband because I knew this wasn't his choice and he would much rather be doing other things so I tried to make it as easy for him as possible. My husband just left that job. Took a new job in Georgia which he really likes that has a much better work/life balance and appreciates him much more than his old job.