When to make unwilling kid ride?

[lustergirl]

Part of being a parent is helping a child overcome fears. Would we say 'never' if the question was about helping a young child overcome the fear of sleeping by themselves in their own bed? What if a child is scared of escalaters? Do we always go out of our way to find an elevator? What if elevators scare them too? Do we keep them on the first floor of a building at all times?

There is a fine line here. Children should not be forced to go on a ride, but backing down the first time they show a little uncertainty is not the right approach either.

I think having them watch the exit and observe other children their age getting off the ride smiling, laughing, and being excited works very well. Let them know it's just not adults that can enjoy the ride. If that doesn't work, then offering encouragement, support, and maybe even a little reward are perfectly acceptable.

Bottom line is that dragging them on kicking an screaming is not the answer, but 'never' is not the best approach either.

Different strokes for different folks. I would of never forced my young sons on a ride that they didn't want to go on.

 

[sharadoc]

Never. DD still won't ride HM and she's 14.

Last trip we sat behind a Mom with a 3-4 year old on Star Tours. He was screaming and petrified, he absolutely did not want to go on. The Mom said, It doesn't move, it's just a movie. She turned to me and asked if I thought it moved around a lot and could be too much for a little kid. I said that's your choice, but yes it does move around a lot and could be scary, especially the parts where it looks like you're going headfirst into a hole, or outer space, or whatever. I couldn't in good conscience tell her that it's fine. She decided to take him off but it was obvious she was annoyed that she had asked me.

 

[nkereina]

Probably depends on the kid. In my own case, I was always too afraid to ride rollercoasters with loops and inversions. My dad tricked me into going on one at Hershey Park when I was about 10 - he told me the queue we were entering was for a different ride and by the time I got to the front of the line and realized, it was too late. Turned out to be the best thing he could have done, because I realized how fun it was, that I was not at risk for dying, and now I have no qualms about rides at all.

 

[DISNEYWITHCHILDREN]

I don't get parents who make their children go on rides-I just don't. To me that's borderline abuse. And trust me as a single mom who 90% of the time is at the parks by myself child swap is not an option. As my daughter has gotten older she has been wanting to try some rides. But she knows I will never make her. And she knows I will absolutely get out of the line if she changes her mind.

A year ago I was with other family members at HS. I went to go on TOT myself. There was a mom in front of me with a 7/8 year old crying he didn't want to go. The mom was like, you'll be fine. He cried on the fastpass line, lucky me got them in my elevator, he cried and screamed (in terror) throughout the ride. I think the mom was being selfish-it was so obvious she wanted to go on the ride and was not taking into account her child's feelings.

Ultimately ask yourself-would you want to be forced on a ride. What gives a parent the right to force a child. And living near Disnet, going at least 1 x a week I see it all the time. And I'll be blunt-parents who are forcing their kids onto rides disgust me, and I wish Disney could stop it. Because I see it over and over.

 

[Anna114]

I reasoned with my son. He did not want to go on Test Track. He was 10, at the time. I told him that I drive faster then the ride would go, that took away what frightened him. He loved the ride.

 

[bjscheel]

We encouraged our youngest to try rides, sometimes we were successful, sometimes not. The only time you might say we "forced" was during Year of a Million Dreams when a CM approached and offered to take us to the front of the line for Splash. There was really no discussion and she didn't know what was happening, we just followed and DD had no choice but to go along for the ride!

It was funny about Expedition Everest. The first time we rode it was just me and my oldest. DH didn't want to ride and neither did our youngest. We told them it was great and tried to get younger DD to ride. DH said don't push her. Then next trip he tried it and when he got off he told her "You've gotta try it!" She didn't.

A couple of years ago we went snow tubing. That afternoon DD announced that thereafter she would try any ride at Disney. She was 12 and that summer she rode Expedition Everest 5 times!

We all agree, though, after we all tried it, that we will never ride TOT again...

 

[jenf22]

Part of being a parent is helping a child overcome fears. Would we say 'never' if the question was about helping a young child overcome the fear of sleeping by themselves in their own bed? What if a child is scared of escalaters? Do we always go out of our way to find an elevator? What if elevators scare them too? Do we keep them on the first floor of a building at all times?

There is a fine line here. Children should not be forced to go on a ride, but backing down the first time they show a little uncertainty is not the right approach either.

I agree. I have a co-worker who says there's a fine line between good parenting and scarring your child for life. You have to know your kid. If we left it up to our son, he'd still be afraid of the bounce house (and he's 8). His gut reaction to anything new is "no". Our pediatrician told us early on that we would probably always have to push him a bit outside his comfort zone. So that's what we do... we push a little. I think we talked him into Barn Stormer , Test Track, and Big Thunder on the last trip. He declared Test Track to be a "never again" and we praised him for trying it and said we didn't have to do it again. He LOVED the other two rides though and we did them over and over. I don't know what happened but he's been talking about Splash Mountain for this trip. He's decided we're going on it. So I've got the Fast Pass for it and I guess we'll see if he sticks with that or if we'll have to push him. I'm hoping he just wants to do it, but if he's truly terrified we won't.

 

[laughinplace199]

iUntil the age of 6, DS (now 8) used to love all WDW rides that he was tall enough for. I'm not sure what changed, but when he was 6 he rode Thunder Mtn, which had been one of his favorites, and hated it. He said it was scary and he didn't like the feeling he got in his stomach when he rode. We didn't push him to ride anything else that he was afraid of on that trip.

The next year, we went to DL and he wanted to try Space Mtn and the Radiator Springs Racers ride. He hated Space and liked RSR ok except for some hills at the end and wouldn't go on it again.

I think his issue is one of control. The wilder rides scare him because he isn't in control. Therefore, we let him be in control of the choice to ride or not ride and would never would force him.

This past summer we were back in WDW and he chose to try Barnstormer and 7 Dwarfs. He liked Barnstormer but didn't like 7 Dwarfs. To me, the important thing is that he knows everything is his choice and he is in control of what he rides and what he skips. And he is choosing to try some rides when he feels comfortable. Hopefully, he'll keep trying and finally like the rides that used to be favorites.

 

[ELSA711]

I've never made my children ride something they didn't want to. I just sit it out with them. Plenty of shopping and people watching to do while the rest of the family rides.

 

[biondagirl]

It depends on the child and the ride. I don't force my 12 year old to go on Tower of Terror, which is my 9 year old daughter's favorite ride. (To my daughter, the bigger, scarier the ride, the better!) Even though he loved it when he was smaller. Since he was 8 or so, he started to hate it. When they were smaller, I might have pushed them to go on BTMRR, but not Space Mountain.

When we went with family in 2013, my niece wouldn't go on anything. Even Ellen's Energy Adventure was a struggle. It was really starting to dampen my ILs trip with the amount of rides she wouldn't go on - ones that she's been on before. We wouldn't have pushed her onto Space Mountain or Everest but she we did POTC. And she loved it.

You know your kids. I do believe that they need to try things. Then, if they hate it, they hate it!

I think showing her a video of 7DMT is a great idea. It's a very easy ride and I think she'll love seeing the dwarfs in the mine!

 

[Kathryn777]

I bribe mine on occasion. If they're reaaally scared they won't take the bribe and I leave it alone.

 

[tlmadden73]

My dad forced me to ride BTMRR when I was 7 or so since my mother had to sit with my sister.

I remember that to this DAY very vividly.
I survived, of course, but I was not a fan of roller coasters until then.

It gives me a good story to tell now.

Not sure what I would do with my son .. He went on SDMT (just tall enough) at 3 years old and was scared during it .. but talks about the thrill of it afterwards.
Just like food, I would insist they TRY it before saying they don't like it.

 

[MarieKat]

I have a lot of anxiety around rides and always have; my husband and I just went on my first trip to WDW and he encouraged me to try new things but that was it. I did 3 coasters and had some fun although I was glad when they were over. I did Splash Mountain and got sick, and that was the last one. I think it's all fun and games until someone barfs their BOG breakfast. Seriously I think encouragement crossed with acceptance is a nice way to go. I don't have children but I would never force a child onto a ride, because I know how it feels to be pushed into doing something I didn't want by my parents and I would not want someone else to feel that way. So maybe think about how you would feel in her position and take it from there.

 

[danny1649]

I've said in this thread earlier , you are the parent(s) I never let my 5yo old son make his own decisions. Life is a tool that teaches what you don't learn in school. It taught me that as a parent I made decisions not a 5 yo. I think when I was a child my mother and father said this you do, this you don't do. Plus if I decided to get mouthy or throwing a fit , lets say I got more than a time out.

 

[tnolan]

Curious how others handle kids who are scared to ride. I made my scaredy-cat daughter (probably age 6 at the time) go on Thunder Mountain a couple times - no loud crying, just a pouty face and a little pitiful whimpering. I truly thought (and still think) that she would like it if she just tried. Then when she was almost 8 I tried to get her to ride it again, but she burst into tears, so I didn't make her. But I've already told her that she's trying 7DMT next time, despite her protests (she'll be almost 9), so she has 6 months to get used to the idea .

What do you do? No judging each other please! Keep just keep about your own approach!

I would not force any child to ride something they absolutely did not want to. A couple of years ago, we were going on Pirates of the Carribean, and the 6 or 7 year old behind us was screaming to her parents that she didn't want to go on this ride, but her parents forced her to. About 3/4 of the way through the ride, she threw up all over the seat and my husband's back - we had the great fortune to be seated in the row in front of her family. So IMHO, please don't force your children to ride anything they don't want to. Not to mention, going to Disneyworld is supposed to bring fun memories for the child, not "the time my parents forced me to go on that ride."

 

[Chelley00]

I have one child we have to force to do anything new. There are tears and bribes and a little pulling along in line and EVERY TIME he gets off and gets right back in line to go again. He's a daredevil as far as what he loves to ride but he's very paranoid about doing something new. In line he will ask a zillion questions "does it go upside down, are there ghost, is dark, does it go high, can I sit by you and hold your hand, can we get off easy if it breaks down??????????"

So I'm that mom dragging a half crying kid on rides because I know he will love it as soon as the light turns green. I get dirty looks and nasty comments but I know it's good for him and ignore it. We had some lady tell me how I was damaging him the first time we were standing in line with him crying at RNR.

He rode it 4 more times that trip.

Now my oldest hated rides and I would have never forced him to go on anything. Total different personality and reasons for not wanting to ride. For our youngest it's the fear of the unknown. For the oldest it's the genuine dislike of rides.

 

[canoe86]

Never.

Lock the thread.

 

[MikeOhio]

Never. DD still won't ride HM and she's 14.

Last trip we sat behind a Mom with a 3-4 year old on Star Tours. He was screaming and petrified, he absolutely did not want to go on. The Mom said, It doesn't move, it's just a movie. She turned to me and asked if I thought it moved around a lot and could be too much for a little kid. I said that's your choice, but yes it does move around a lot and could be scary, especially the parts where it looks like you're going headfirst into a hole, or outer space, or whatever. I couldn't in good conscience tell her that it's fine. She decided to take him off but it was obvious she was annoyed that she had asked me.

This is exactly why you should make your kids go on rides. If you don't you end up with a high school kid who is afraid of a kids dark ride like haunted mansion.

You dont let your kids choose what food to eat, whether to go to school, what time to go to bed and tons of other things. Why should rides be any different.

 

[gwynne]

This is exactly why you should make your kids go on rides. If you don't you end up with a high school ride who is afraid of a kids dark ride.

You dont let your kids choose what food to eat, whether to go to school, what time to go to bed and tons of other things. Why should rides be any different.

I was forced. It was a terrible experience for me. I was mindful about how I treated my kids. Forcing my kids was not going to happen. If they wanted to, fine. If they didn't, fine. Because I let them decide, it was never an issue.
To this day I've never told them what happened to me.

Both completed college and beyond, both now are employed responsible adults. Real world responsibilities have zero in common with forcing kids to ride rides they don't want to. Vacations should be fun for everyone. JMO, YMMV.

 

[ldymcbth]

I don't force, but I do encourage. I help them think of coping mechanisms to use on the ride if they hate it once they are on it. We talk about what their fears are, and come up with appropriate responses to them, etc. I don't think I could bring myself to drag a crying, screaming child on a ride, but I do think pushing them outside of their comfort zone is sometimes a part of parenting.