When to make unwilling kid ride?

[Spacepest]

I'm coming in late to this thread, but...in my opinion, if a kid doesn't want to go on a ride, they should not be forced.

I've seen so many people force crying, scared kids on rides, and its just a horrible experience for everyone--the kid, the parents, the bystanders in line, and the unlucky passengers who might get stuck on a ride vehicle with them.

The worst case I've seen of a child being forced on a ride was Tower of Terror. There was a young boy who met the height requirements but he was obviously scared and upset about the whole ride. He was crying and screaming the whole time in line and the pre-show, to the point where he was starting to gag. We get up to the elevator ride car, and he was freaking out, but his parents still made him get on. My husband and I were supposed to get in the same elevator with them, but I got out of line and told the attending cast member: "I can't ride with that going on. Please let us get on the next one." The cast member sent us to the next available vehicle. After the ride ended we exited into the gift shop to see about a dozen upset people covered in vomit, and the parents of the scared boy screaming at him even more. The boy was so scared that he had threw up all over everyone riding with him! It was just terrible, watching these parents basically emotionally abuse this boy in public, and I vowed never to force a child onto a ride ever again.

 

[SaintsManiac]

I've been pretty worried about this with DD5. We showed her YouTube videos and are planning on child swap and single rider if we have to. I just want us to ride HM as a family, but I won't force her. Encouraging is one thing, forcing is another. The videos really help, though.

 

[lorenae]

This is exactly why you should make your kids go on rides. If you don't you end up with a high school kid who is afraid of a kids dark ride like haunted mansion.

You dont let your kids choose what food to eat, whether to go to school, what time to go to bed and tons of other things. Why should rides be any different.

Because rides are supposed to be fun, and not about who is in control. Going to school, brushing their teeth, etc, are all non-negotiables. They don't get to decide when to go to bed or if they should brush their teeth- that's a parental obligation and they get the authority.

Taking a fun vacation with the family, and forcing them to be terrorized by aliens (like in Alien Encounter) isn't going to cure them of being a high school kid who is afraid of Haunted mansion. Maturity usually fixes fears of dark rides, not being forced onto them.

But like was said, every child is very different. And there is a world of difference between Alien Encounter (which really was so realistic it was very scary) and Haunted Mansion.

I'd like my GS5 to try HM, and we'll go past it and see if he wants to. Kids are funny, though. He might love something I think he'd be scared of, like ToT and yet be afraid of a big live Buzz Lightyear. We'll see when he gets there.

 

[ELSA711]

Encouragement is one thing, force is another and I feel it breaks trust. I don't want that between me and my kids.
This is suppose to be a family trip to magical place. Magical for everyone!

 

[epcotfan]

Years ago I got on The Tower Of Terror and there was a very frightened child in the line. The poor kid cried and screamed through the entire experience. She was clearly terrified. It really ruined the the attraction for everyone. I don't know why anyone would force a child onto a ride they were clearly having a major panic attack over.

 

[georgina]

I've said in this thread earlier , you are the parent(s) I never let my 5yo old son make his own decisions. Life is a tool that teaches what you don't learn in school. It taught me that as a parent I made decisions not a 5 yo. I think when I was a child my mother and father said this you do, this you don't do. Plus if I decided to get mouthy or throwing a fit , lets say I got more than a time out.

Seriously? You NEVER let your 5 yo make his own decisions? You tell him everything he must do, wear, play with, eat; he never gets to choose anything for himself? That is really gonna screw him up later in life.

 

[bpadair32]

Seriously? You NEVER let your 5 yo make his own decisions? You tell him everything he must do, wear, play with, eat; he never gets to choose anything for himself? That is really gonna screw him up later in life.

I tend to agree. I think there are some things that children should not decide on their own, that is why they have parents. On the other hand, kids need to learn independence and they for decisions that are not that important in the grand scheme of things, they should be given some freedom.

 

[luvsJack]

I am curious. For all of you that make your children ride----what do you do when your child comes off that ride that they didn't want to ride in the first place, crying hysterically and scared to then do anything else? What exactly have you accomplished?

When dd was 3 our house burned, when she was 4 she and I were in a wreck, 2 months later we went to WDW for her first time. She was afraid of fire (or anything that might be fire) and loud sudden noises. Do you know how many attractions there are with at least one of those two things? A BUNCH! Should she have been afraid of those things? No and she has well gotten past those fears but at the time it was a very real fear to her. Once I realized what was happening, I tried to make sure we stayed away from anything with fire.

We were able to do POC, but I remembered the ride so well from my previous visits and described each scene quietly into her ear BEFORE it happened and she was ok. She knew what to expect.

If I had forced her to ride something or experience something with those elements that frightened her, she may have never been willing to experience anything at Disney again or at least for a long time. She would have remembered it as a place of her fears.

I posted earlier about my son and his reluctance to ride something he cannot see first. He didn't have any phobia that would keep him from riding, he just liked knowing what to expect so videos would have helped him immensely. As it was, there were none back then so we just described it before he got in line. If he wanted to ride, we rode. If he didn't, we didn't. Very few did he not want to ride. That was very different than dd's experience.

If a child has a true fear of something, forcing them to do it anyway, is not "facing their fears". You get over fears by facing them ON YOUR OWN TERMS.

 

[FlightlessDuck]

Never.

They don't want to ride, they don't have to ride.

 

[mickeyluv'r]

I am curious. For all of you that make your children ride----what do you do when your child comes off that ride that they didn't want to ride in the first place, crying hysterically and scared to then do anything else? What exactly have you accomplished? ...If a child has a true fear of something, forcing them to do it anyway, is not "facing their fears". You get over fears by facing them ON YOUR OWN TERMS.

Let's turn your question around, can you think of a BETTER place than a theme park to challenge your fears?

Henry David Thoreau said, "Most men lead lives of quiet desperation and go to the grave with the song still in them." Either we control our fears, or they control us.

People who never explore beyond their comfort zone never know what they could have been. They never become heroes.

Heroes explore! Misty Copeland, Neil Armstrong, Michael Jordan, Chuck Yeager, Walt Disney. Copeland started ballet at age 13. Jordan was told he'd never be good at b-ball. Disney ONLY succeeded because he was willing to risk EVERYTHING multiple times in his life.

To me, WDW is almost the very best place on our planet to encourage a child to step outside their comfort zone! Armstrong, Yeager, and Pocahontas faced death. It didn't stop them. The rides at WDW end with a gift shop, a happy song, and fun characters.

And well, isn't that the premise of American patriotism? I mean our nation literally only exists because folks refused to live a life of cowardice.

I sometimes think my fellow DISers and I must not be visiting the same WDW, because the CORE theme of WDW - over and over again - is that those who dare to dream reap rewards.

 

[bpadair32]

Let's turn your question around, can you think of a BETTER place than a theme park to challenge your fears?

Henry David Thoreau said, "Most men lead lives of quiet desperation and go to the grave with the song still in them." Either we control our fears, or they control us.

People who never explore beyond their comfort zone never know what they could have been. They never become heroes.

Heroes explore! Misty Copeland, Neil Armstrong, Michael Jordan, Chuck Yeager, Walt Disney. Copeland started ballet at age 13. Jordan was told he'd never be good at b-ball. Disney ONLY succeeded because he was willing to risk EVERYTHING multiple times in his life.

To me, WDW is almost the very best place on our planet to encourage a child to step outside their comfort zone! Armstrong, Yeager, and Pocahontas faced death. It didn't stop them. The rides at WDW end with a gift shop, a happy song, and fun characters.

And well, isn't that the premise of American patriotism? I mean our nation literally only exists because folks refused to live a life of cowardice.

I sometimes think my fellow DISers and I must not be visiting the same WDW, because the CORE theme of WDW - over and over again - is that those who dare to dream reap rewards.

I bolded the key word there. There is a world of difference between encouraging a kid to go on a ride and forcing them to do so.

 

[ELSA711]

Let's turn your question around, can you think of a BETTER place than a theme park to challenge your fears?

Henry David Thoreau said, "Most men lead lives of quiet desperation and go to the grave with the song still in them." Either we control our fears, or they control us.

People who never explore beyond their comfort zone never know what they could have been. They never become heroes.

Heroes explore! Misty Copeland, Neil Armstrong, Michael Jordan, Chuck Yeager, Walt Disney. Copeland started ballet at age 13. Jordan was told he'd never be good at b-ball. Disney ONLY succeeded because he was willing to risk EVERYTHING multiple times in his life.

To me, WDW is almost the very best place on our planet to encourage a child to step outside their comfort zone! Armstrong, Yeager, and Pocahontas faced death. It didn't stop them. The rides at WDW end with a gift shop, a happy song, and fun characters.

And well, isn't that the premise of American patriotism? I mean our nation literally only exists because folks refused to live a life of cowardice.

I sometimes think my fellow DISers and I must not be visiting the same WDW, because the CORE theme of WDW - over and over again - is that those who dare to dream reap rewards.

Comfort zone and fear are two different things. None of my children will enter Haunted Mansion, neither will I, LOL
I don't like scary images, fake or not. Neither do they. DH would love one of us to go with him, but oh well. He does it alone or sacrifices not going.

 

[mickeyluv'r]

If I'm going to teach the children I know anything of American history, I'm going to teach them the power of exploring outside their comfort zone. Simply put, it is what good teachers do.

But maybe some of you missed the following Disney lyrics:
I can show you the world
Shining, shimmering, splendid..
I can open your eyes
Take you wonder by wonder
Over, sideways and under
On a magic Carpet ride

A whole new world
a fantastic point of view
No one to tell us where to go
Or say we're only dreaming....

 

[mickeyluv'r]

Here's another:

"Have you ever heard the wolf cry to the blue corn moon
Or asked the grinning bobcat why he grinned?
Can you sing with all the voices of the mountains
Can you paint with all the colors of the wind...."

 

[ELSA711]

If I'm going to teach the children I know anything of American history, I'm going to teach them the power of exploring outside their comfort zone. Simply put, it is what good teachers do.

But maybe some of you missed the following Disney lyrics:
I can show you the world
Shining, shimmering, splendid..
I can open your eyes
Take you wonder by wonder
Over, sideways and under
On a magic Carpet ride

A whole new world
a fantastic point of view
No one to tell us where to go
Or say we're only dreaming....

I'm sorry but as a mother I am to focused on teaching my middle school child to step outside her comfort zone with team sports, speaking in front of the class, joining the debate team...etc
There are some things I choose to tackle as a parent and riding rides at an amusement park isn't really a battle I am willing to have. LOL
There are bigger battles out there.

 

[EvieBug]

This is exactly why you should make your kids go on rides. If you don't you end up with a high school kid who is afraid of a kids dark ride like haunted mansion.

You dont let your kids choose what food to eat, whether to go to school, what time to go to bed and tons of other things. Why should rides be any different.

... because it's a RIDE? Not a requirement like eating, sleeping or school?

Did I miss something here?

I'm actually expecting to have to bail out of a few rides this upcoming trip. And I'm okay with that - because Disneyworld is supposed to be FUN.

 

[mickeyluv'r]

Or Tom Sawyer:

"Well everybody is that way, Huck."
"Tom, I am not everybody."



"“Tom's whole being applauded this idea. It was deep, and dark, and awful; the hour, the circumstances, the surroundings, were in keeping with it.”

 

[luvsJack]

Let's turn your question around, can you think of a BETTER place than a theme park to challenge your fears?

Henry David Thoreau said, "Most men lead lives of quiet desperation and go to the grave with the song still in them." Either we control our fears, or they control us.

People who never explore beyond their comfort zone never know what they could have been. They never become heroes.

Heroes explore! Misty Copeland, Neil Armstrong, Michael Jordan, Chuck Yeager, Walt Disney. Copeland started ballet at age 13. Jordan was told he'd never be good at b-ball. Disney ONLY succeeded because he was willing to risk EVERYTHING multiple times in his life.

To me, WDW is almost the very best place on our planet to encourage a child to step outside their comfort zone! Armstrong, Yeager, and Pocahontas faced death. It didn't stop them. The rides at WDW end with a gift shop, a happy song, and fun characters.

And well, isn't that the premise of American patriotism? I mean our nation literally only exists because folks refused to live a life of cowardice.

I sometimes think my fellow DISers and I must not be visiting the same WDW, because the CORE theme of WDW - over and over again - is that those who dare to dream reap rewards.

If the child chooses to challenge a fear, that's great. Its the parent making the choice for them that can be an issue. Forcing someone to do something that they are afraid of (and if the child comes away from the ride crying hysterically like I asked about, obviously they are truly afraid of it) is YOU trying to control the child's fears, not the child.

I am all for exploring beyond my comfort zone. But it has to be on my terms not by force from someone else and that is the same way I would treat a frightened child.

Jordan playing basketball or Misty Copeland taking ballet at a bit older age is a world and a half difference than a child with a true phobia of heights, falling, the dark, etc. They took a step toward a dream, the child is being forced to do something he or she is scared of.

Dd wasn't forced to ride a ride and neither were my sons. NONE of them are afraid of things now. ALL of them are forever exploring new things and going well out of their comfort zones. DD has even planned an outing with friends to a haunted house! This is far beyond her comfort zone. And she is the biggest adrenaline junky that I know except for her brothers. So obviously there are other ways to teach this than dragging a crying kid on a theme park ride. As long as you are ENCOURAGING and not forcing, then that's ok. Its the forcing I have an issue with.

 

[mickeyluv'r]

More lyrics about exploring:

I've got gadgits and gizmos aplenty
I've got whozits and whatzits galore..
but whoc ares? No big deal,
I want more!

I want to be where the people are
I wanna see, wanna see them dancing

flipping your fins you don't get too far
Legs are required for Jumping dancing
strolling....

 

[EvieBug]

If the child chooses to challenge a fear, that's great. Its the parent making the choice for them that can be an issue. Forcing someone to do something that they are afraid of (and if the child comes away from the ride crying hysterically like I asked about, obviously they are truly afraid of it) is YOU trying to control the child's fears, not the child.

I am all for exploring beyond my comfort zone. But it has to be on my terms not by force from someone else and that is the same way I would treat a frightened child.

Jordan playing basketball or Misty Copeland taking ballet at a bit older age is a world and a half difference than a child with a true phobia of heights, falling, the dark, etc. They took a step toward a dream, the child is being forced to do something he or she is scared of.

Dd wasn't forced to ride a ride and neither were my sons. NONE of them are afraid of things now. ALL of them are forever exploring new things and going well out of their comfort zones. DD has even planned an outing with friends to a haunted house! This is far beyond her comfort zone. And she is the biggest adrenaline junky that I know except for her brothers. So obviously there are other ways to teach this than dragging a crying kid on a theme park ride. As long as you are ENCOURAGING and not forcing, then that's ok. Its the forcing I have an issue with.

Nicely put.

I do agree with the concept of encouraging, and helping kids face fears. However, like anything there are extremes. If my kid can verbalize their concern calmly, we can probably talk through it and end up on the ride. If there are tears, thats actual fear and it's not ok to force it.