when people have a lot of "work" done

[binny]

I recently ran into an old friend that I hadnt seen in about 15 years. she freely admits to having a lot of work done, brags about it, in fact. She said she loves going in for new procedures.

Honestly, if I didnt know it was her I would have never recognized her. She has had that much done. She was pretty to begin with but now, well, she just looks like she has a lot of work done, you know?

This is an addiction I dont understand at all.
I understand recontruction and a little bit here and there if you have problems that you want fixed.

But to go all Joan Rivers just because you can? Thats what I dont understand.

What do you think about it?

 

[Disney Doll]

I think it's sad that when people feel bad about themselves on the inside that they think fixing the outside will help.

This, of course, is in the case of multiple surgeries for no other reason (ie-a disfiguring accident) than to change the way one looks.

 

[KimR]

I think as long as she's happy with the way she looks, then good for her.

I used to be horribly self-conscious of the way I looked, to the point I hated going out in public. And then when I did, I felt so uncomfortable the entire time - like I wanted to crawl into a hole and become invisible. It's not a fun way to live, believe me. But I made a few changes in my appearance and it's made such a difference in the way I feel about myself. I don't feel ugly anymore - and I never thought I would be able to say that. And oddly enough, for the first time in my life I feel like 'myself' - yeah I guess it's a little ironic.

 

[KimR]

I think it's sad that when people feel bad about themselves on the inside that they think fixing the outside will help.

This, of course, is in the case of multiple surgeries for no other reason (ie-a disfiguring accident) than to change the way one looks.

So just becuase making improvements in one's appearance won't solve all one's problems, then don't even bother?

It's a small step. I've had horribly low self-esteem my entire life. I hated the inside and the outside. Now I'm ok with the way I look. No, I'm not gorgeous and never will be, but at least I can go out into the world without feeling so self-conscious. It is an incredibly freeing feeling. So maybe eventually I can make changes in other areas (become more outgoing and social for one thing) - or maybe not. But even if I can't, I'm still a heck of a lot better off than I was a year ago.

 

[mickeyfan1]

I have had some procedures myself, and there are a few more I would love to have, sadly the $$$$ will never be there for them. However, if they were, I know I would not repeat anything I have had done, nor would I want to have things altered to the point of looking like someone else. There are a lot of people who do get addicted to cosmetic surgery. I wish there were doctors who would say no and stop them. Granted a good nose job, face lift, eye lid reduction and lip fillers can cause a drastic change to one person and only make the next look refreshed, so I guess it all depends.

None of that was helpful, was it Binny!

 

[TangaroaTiki]

If she's happy.....that's all that matters

 

[Pigeon]

It makes my skin crawl. I don't get it at all. I had to go to a plastic surgeon a few years ago because of a medical issue, and I wanted to run screaming from the building. Ick, on so many levels.


However, maybe I'm a hypocrite, because when I was considering mastectomy v. lumpectomy, if I had opted for the former, I know I would have had reconstruction.

 

[mickeyfan1]

Disney Doll, I know a lot of people feel the way you do, that changing your outer appearance can't change the inside. Well, for some people that is true, however, for many it is not. I know that I did not like one particular thing about my looks. So I went and had it changed, as well as a few other things. Now I can go out and not feel self conscious about what I hated, but more importantly, I know I look as good on the outside as I feel on the inside. Sometimes the outside is what makes you sad, changing it to match the inside is a real boost.

 

[KimR]

There are a lot of people who do get addicted to cosmetic surgery. I wish there were doctors who would say no and stop them.

Yes, I can totally see myself getting addicted. The things I have had done (and not all of it has been surgical and none of it has been major), have made such a difference in my life that I want more, more more. I have a few more things on my mental list that I want done in the coming months and years. My surgeon is very conservative, though, and won't do anything just because a patient asks for it (I know this from experience).

 

[binny]

I have had some procedures myself, and there are a few more I would love to have, sadly the $$$$ will never be there for them. However, if they were, I know I would not repeat anything I have had done, nor would I want to have things altered to the point of looking like someone else. There are a lot of people who do get addicted to cosmetic surgery. I wish there were doctors who would say no and stop them. Granted a good nose job, face lift, eye lid reduction and lip fillers can cause a drastic change to one person and only make the next look refreshed, so I guess it all depends.

None of that was helpful, was it Binny!

Like i said I can totally understand having a few things done, heck we all have things we dont like about our bodies, its the addiction aspect I dont understand about this. I had another friend who was like this. I hadnt seen her in years either then I saw her at our reunion. She was also very open about it. It was almost like "who can top this?" We are not even 40 yet, so it makes me concerned what the years are going to bring for these ladies.

I think that its more than low self esteem though in the addiction side of it. To not even resemble yourself? that is scary. Im no beauty queen but I cant imagine subjecting myself to that much pain and recovery time over and over again to change everything about myself. There is so much more to life than how we look!


I hope Im not offending anyone here. That wasnt my intent at all. I truly do not understand this addiction. For this to be the second person I know to go this route at our young ages, is scary to me.

 

[mickeyfan1]

No offense to me. I just think about that woman in New York who looks sooooooooooooooooooo bad now. I don't understand the addiction she has, she said all along she liked how she looked but she wanted to look different. Well, she does now. Different and ugly! I will always tell people what I have had done, if they happen to ask. But if you never knew me before, you wouldn't know and my HS pals, well they just say wow, you look great! I just say thanks. Subtle to me is key.

One thing I will say, it won't be long before there are a LOT of perky 80 year olds!

 

[KimR]

I hope Im not offending anyone here. That wasnt my intent at all. I truly do not understand this addiction. For this to be the second person I know to go this route at our young ages, is scary to me.

Well, I think for myself at least, a lot of it has to do with that feeling of control I get from being able to change my appearance for the better. I've spent years trying in vain to change one aspect of my life or another with nothing to show for it but disappointment, frustration, and hurt. But now - for a few thousand bucks and some recuperation time, I can get a new nose, tighter skin, less wrinkles...whatever. It's a very empowering feeling and I think that's the root of the addiction.

 

[binny]

Well, I think for myself at least, a lot of it has to do with that feeling of control I get from being able to change my appearance for the better. I've spent years trying in vain to change one aspect of my life or another with nothing to show for it but disappointment, frustration, and hurt. But now - for a few thousand bucks and some recuperation time, I can get a new nose, tighter skin, less wrinkles...whatever. It's a very empowering feeling and I think that's the root of the addiction.

Thank you for your honesty and bravery to telling me so much. I hadnt thought about it from that viewpoint before.

 

[HugsForEeyore]

So just becuase making improvements in one's appearance won't solve all one's problems, then don't even bother?

It's a small step. I've had horribly low self-esteem my entire life. I hated the inside and the outside. Now I'm ok with the way I look. No, I'm not gorgeous and never will be, but at least I can go out into the world without feeling so self-conscious. It is an incredibly freeing feeling. So maybe eventually I can make changes in other areas (become more outgoing and social for one thing) - or maybe not. But even if I can't, I'm still a heck of a lot better off than I was a year ago.

Totally relate. I was the same way - hated my appearance. Hated it! I was teased all throughout childhood and even into adulthood. My self-esteem was less than zero. I watched how all the better-looking kids had advantages I didn't, because people respond positively to a good appearance, and negatively to a poor one. People treat you different when you don't look good. My parents tried to convince me "it's on the inside that counts" but when I see so many doors closed to me because I was unattractive, you bet I became bitter.

Finally as an adult, I bankrupted my entire savings and then some to have work done (in my case, it was palate/dental/jaw issues) and fixed what I could. My family was NOT supportive - they thought I should have tried harder to make people like me more. Well, all my work is done now and I LOVE my appearance. It's not perfect, but good enough and I am so pleased. I can smile big. It's night and day to me. People treat me 100% better, and I advanced on the job finally, too. Best thing I ever did was improve my appearance.

Though I think the OP is talking about that "plastic" look some people get from too much work - and I agree I don't like that look at all! But I am not to judge - I am all for cosmetic surgery since sometimes, fixing the outside certainly does fix the inside, too!

 

[Inigo]

I'm 44, and I don't have a lot of wrinkles, which I attribute to non-tanning. However, I am already planning a "Lifestyle Lift" when I decide I need one. I figure it's my money, and if that's how I want to spend it, good for me.

 

[binny]

Totally relate. I was the same way - hated my appearance. Hated it! I was teased all throughout childhood and even into adulthood. My self-esteem was less than zero. I watched how all the better-looking kids had advantages I didn't, because people respond positively to a good appearance, and negatively to a poor one. People treat you different when you don't look good. My parents tried to convince me "it's on the inside that counts" but when I see so many doors closed to me because I was unattractive, you bet I became bitter.

Finally as an adult, I bankrupted my entire savings and then some to have work done (in my case, it was palate/dental/jaw issues) and fixed what I could. My family was NOT supportive - they thought I should have tried harder to make people like me more. Well, all my work is done now and I LOVE my appearance. It's not perfect, but good enough and I am so pleased. I can smile big. It's night and day to me. People treat me 100% better, and I advanced on the job finally, too. Best thing I ever did was improve my appearance.

Though I think the OP is talking about that "plastic" look some people get from too much work - and I agree I don't like that look at all! But I am not to judge - I am all for cosmetic surgery since sometimes, fixing the outside certainly does fix the inside, too!

Its one thing to want to improve yourself. Its another to do the plastic thing, youre right that was exactly what I was talking about the addiction part of this. WHen you improve yourself and you are happy then good for you. You say you arent perfect, but youre happy. THAT is a healthy response IMHO. Its the contstant quest for perfection that I dont get.

Its the " I need another and another and another surgery" but it never seems to be enough KWIM?


Again, I dont care if people do things to make themselves feel better its when they keep doing something and it never works. When is enough enough?

 

[C.Ann]

Personally, I would never have anything done - unless it was medically necessary (such as very severe burns on my face or something of that nature..)

My motto has always been: "What you see is what you get.. If it's not to your liking, please move along.."

 

[babycakes01]

I wish I could afford to have some work done Good for all of you who have; if its made you happy.

 

[Sheree Bobbins]

When I think of plastic surgery, I think of how we've all benefitted by what the doctors have learned so that people that are born with deformities or injured along the way can be helped. People with war injuries and such.

But at the same time, we can think of celebrities who have gone too far, in my humble opinion. I wonder if the doctors who created plastic surgery would ever have guessed it could become an addiction.

 

[Disney Doll]

So just becuase making improvements in one's appearance won't solve all one's problems, then don't even bother?

It's a small step. I've had horribly low self-esteem my entire life. I hated the inside and the outside. Now I'm ok with the way I look. No, I'm not gorgeous and never will be, but at least I can go out into the world without feeling so self-conscious. It is an incredibly freeing feeling. So maybe eventually I can make changes in other areas (become more outgoing and social for one thing) - or maybe not. But even if I can't, I'm still a heck of a lot better off than I was a year ago.

Well, in a subsequent post to this one, you can "see yourself getting addicted" and that it gives you some sort of feeling of control, so i think you are doing it for the wrong reasons. Just MHO...

So, truthfully, until you fix the inside, fixing the outside won't help much...or at least not for the long-term. Best of luck!