When no one is there...

[xipotec]

What do you do when it seems you have been forgotten by family , friends and everyone around you?

I am dealing with a horrible time in my life and its seems like everyone that say you can count on is too busy .......

They seem to know I am struggling, but just seem now , more than ever , distant.

What do you do when this happens?

 

[LovesTimone]

Prayer

 

[rewilliams]

Church and prayer if that is in your beliefs. Not knowing your specific difficulties I would suggest a support group, they have them for everything if you look.
I have also found that keeping a journal helps. I can "talk" about my problems no matter who is around!
Hugs!

 

[sunshineNJ]

Try to keep really busy! Like the pp said support groups are great. Would you care to share what you are going through?

 

[lisaviolet]

What do you do when it seems you have been forgotten by family , friends and everyone around you?

I am dealing with a horrible time in my life and its seems like everyone that say you can count on is too busy .......

They seem to know I am struggling, but just seem now , more than ever , distant.

What do you do when this happens?

You already have words/advice on how to help yourself but I want to talk about your friends and family members so hopefully you can have more peace in this area.

I hope this doesn't come across callous but the fact is not a lot people are built to go down into the trenches with people, stand right beside a very dark place. They are just not. It does not make them bad people, and it doesn't mean they are not your true friends or loving family members.

I know people think differently, that these times show who your true friends are. I think that's complete bull. Sometimes people just don't have the skills in this area. They just don't. They don't know what to say, what to do so they choose little or nothing re: seeming more distant. So hang on to that, that it doesn't mean that the absent people do not care about you. A few might be you know whats but the majority do love and care for you. Often people get distant when they feel helpless.

Nate Berkus had the best story in this area. He was in the tsunami and lost his partner's hands and watched him go to his death, right in front of him. He went to a very dark place, who wouldn't?

And one of his best friends wasn't around much or not what he needed. He was absolutely shocked. At first he thought "wow, she isn't really my best friend after all". But then over time he realized that wasn't where she could go, to that very dark place. That wasn't who she was and other people that he would never guessed to be there during his hell showed up.

This best friend did have a skill set. When he was in the process of recovering and out of the dark place for the most part, she was the one who showed him how to smile again and simply have fun. And that was integral to gaining back his life.

None of us can be everything.

I'm so very sorry for what you are going through, hang in there and know that, as irritating and frustrating as this sounds --- this too shall pass. And one day soon you'll look back and marvel at your strength.

 

[mommasita]

Oh I am so sorry... When we are down and out we feel so truly alone.. Are you close to enough to this circle of people to scream out to them and tell them you desperately need them? There is no shame in this.. There isn't a person alive that hasn't been at the bottom at one point or another, and needed people..

I know personally when I am down, I tend to want to be alone, and tend to just fade into shadows and ignore.. I am not saying you are this way, but to me it is so easy to just keeps sinking, and it makes it so much harder to get out of this funk.. I am trying to break this habit.

Honestly, I would try and be direct in your needs..

 

[xipotec]

I think all this advice is great, thanks so much guys.

I do wish people would be able to support me more, but over time I have been the strong one for everyone around me. Perhaps thats the reason why people in my life seem to be shying away from me now that I am down. I am usually the rock, dependable and solid.

My issues are a very very stressful job that I am stuck at, a crisis of time and energy to do what needs to be done. I am just finding it hard to have any time for me to enjoy my life. I am always having to do something for someone and i exhausted from it.

Its been a terrible year with family tragedy, even our vacations seem stressful and more work than they are worth.

 

[Dashzap]

There are times when you can only rely on your own strengths. Focus on your inner peace.

 

[SEC71]

Wow I could have written this thread. I have been in an extremely stressful job situation
For over a year that has gotten worse. I needed help and support and there was not much support.

 

[mommasita]

Wow I could have written this thread. I have been in an extremely stressful job situation
For over a year that has gotten worse. I needed help and support and there was not much support.

I'm sorry you were so alone.. Hopefully things are better.. We are here if you need us.

 

[lisaviolet]

I think all this advice is great, thanks so much guys.

I do wish people would be able to support me more, but over time I have been the strong one for everyone around me. Perhaps thats the reason why people in my life seem to be shying away from me now that I am down. I am usually the rock, dependable and solid.

My issues are a very very stressful job that I am stuck at, a crisis of time and energy to do what needs to be done. I am just finding it hard to have any time for me to enjoy my life. I am always having to do something for someone and i exhausted from it.

Its been a terrible year with family tragedy, even our vacations seem stressful and more work than they are worth.

Hope things are a bit better for you.

Have you tried to let some of your closest loved ones know what you need during this time? It might help everyone, you and them, to open up.

Regardless, I'm sorry.

Wow I could have written this thread. I have been in an extremely stressful job situation
For over a year that has gotten worse. I needed help and support and there was not much support.

I'm sorry. Hope things change for you.