When in laws cause problems

[PlutoPony]

Buy a waterproof mattress pad, the kind you get for incontinence problems. That should protect the mattress pretty well.

Plus it's hot and noisy lol

 

[Wishing on a star]

OP: does he not maintain good personal hygeine?
A true question, here...

 

[barkley]

Thank you for mentioning this because I wouldn't have even thought about it. I dont have much of anything of value really but our social security numbers are accessible so I will be storing them in a safe spot before we go.

credit cards/credit card papers (even if they are old expired ones) too. family member found one of mom's old amex statements-called into the automated system and reported the card lost/stolen (because it was done on mom's home phone he never had to talk to a human being). mom didn't use the card frequently so she didn't find out until the first BIG bill came in that he (1) charged rush/overnight delivery of the new card on mom's account, and simply activated it by AGAIN using mom's home phone. makes me paranoid about stuff-I store tax records where people can't get to them.

 

[BadgerGirl84]

I swear to god, I would call somebody, today, and have a deadbolt lock installed on my bedroom door.
I would...

I think the cat stays in that room mostly, though. And if the OP's cat is anything like ours, if you try to keep it out of it's normal hang-out spot for too long, you get a scratched door and shredded carpet.

 

[Wishing on a star]

Again, all I can say to you, OP, is I am so, so, sorry.

You do need to protect yourself (not just you and your husband's credit cards, etc...)
Protect yourself in every way.

This simply is not over.

 

[Wishing on a star]

I think the cat stays in that room mostly, though. And if the OP's cat is anything like ours, if you try to keep it out of it's normal hang-out spot for too long, you get a scratched door and shredded carpet.

Ohhhhhh, you are right.... so true!

 

[Wendy31]

i agree with mostly everything you're saying but do you think my husband has the right to tell someone they can have ...relations...on our bed?

I'm so, so sorry! My heart is hurting for you. And please know that I do think you're considering your DH's feelings, & I wish he was thinking about your feelings as well.

And, again, I do feel you're right, but I also know what an impossible situation it is for you. I hope that your DH sincerely apologizes to you.

I get what you're saying about your bed, & I'd definitely be buying new sheets. In a way, I suppose, for my own sanity, I'd have to just look at it as overnight guests staying at our house. And I know it's your bedroom. Again, I'm very sorry you've been put in this situation. Would your DH maybe agree to putting your own bed up (like in the attic or something) & putting an air mattress in your bedroom for your BIL & his girlfriend?

If you can't lock your bedroom door & have your BIL stay in another room, then, regardless of what you've agreed to, I'd be spending these next few days "BIL-proofing" my house & my bedroom.

{{hugs}}

 

[robinb]

I just text my husband and gave in. I can't do this any more. My sister is going to stop by and check on things (mostly my cat) while I am gone and that helps a little. I have a lump in my throat as I type this. I'm really upset that I was blindsided into this by someone that is suppose to put me and our marriage first. Something I have always done for him.

when i get back I have every intention of telling his brother and him what I think of both of them...for the sake of my children's trip and my mom and aunts I will suck it up buttercup for today.

{{hugs}} I think you made the right decision for your family and your marriage. I'm sorry that you got stuck between a rock and a hard place.

If I were you my tv remotes would all take a vacation with me, all computers would go to my sisters, and my last act before leaving would be to secretly change the wifi password.

I like how you think ! Those TV remotes need a vacation too . j/k

 

[DizBelle]

I can't say that I really agree with your decision but since this is the way you're going to go, it's time to set rules and boundaries when he is there.

I would say absolutely that they are not allowed in your bedroom. Put a lock on the door. Put more than one lock ont he door. Put all valuables in your bedroom.

I would make it clear that your step-sister has a key and she is welcome to come over at any time to check on the well-being of your cat and the house. They are not to refuse her entry ever.

What about the food that is in the house? Are they free to eat whatever they want?

If you have cable/satellite, put on the parental controls and make sure they cannot buy any pay-per-views.

It needs to be clear that BIL needs to be OUT of the house before you arrive home after your vacation (good luck with this one). I have a feeling he's not going to be gone. He's probably not going to be gone 6 months after you get back.

 

[Mkrop]

I would soooo annoyed that my DH gave me additional job of brother in law proofing the house, since you know he is going to think it ridiculous to hide all those numbers and documents

 

[Kalliope]

I just text my husband and gave in. I can't do this any more. My sister is going to stop by and check on things (mostly my cat) while I am gone and that helps a little. I have a lump in my throat as I type this. I'm really upset that I was blindsided into this by someone that is suppose to put me and our marriage first. Something I have always done for him.

when i get back I have every intention of telling his brother and him what I think of both of them...for the sake of my children's trip and my mom and aunts I will suck it up buttercup for today.

I'm so sorry, for you being put in such a position and for your husband acting like an ***.

 

[CookieandOatmeal]

Hope everything works out in the end for you.

 

[Grmnshplvr]

Can I freeze a cable and internet account?

 

[Grmnshplvr]

OP: does he not maintain good personal hygeine?
A true question, here...

He has three teeth in his mouth. No he does not.

 

[PlutoPony]

I would soooo annoyed that my DH gave me additional job of brother in law proofing the house, since you know he is going to think it ridiculous to hide all those numbers and documents

I wouldn't tell him I'm doing it. He likely wouldn't think it necessary or understand at all, why have one more thing to argue about before vacation?

OP, do you think the fact that you "gave in" on this issue would have any bearing on your husband's response were BIL to ask about staying more than the week? Would this make your husband more inclined to tell him to move on (i.e. my wife already is irritated because you stayed this week, not gonna push her further) or more willing to let him stay because you gave in before? Might want to think about the next step in this, were it to happen (and I sincerely hope it doesn't)

 

[Grmnshplvr]

I would soooo annoyed that my DH gave me additional job of brother in law proofing the house, since you know he is going to think it ridiculous to hide all those numbers and documents

I dont think my husband even knows where they are lol so yeah I'll be the one doing all that.

 

[okeydokey]

Can I freeze a cable and internet account?

Sure. Or you could remove the router and cable boxes (if you have wireless) and send it to your sisters with your other valuables.

 

[Happy_Haunt999]

No, just no. I would not let him stay.

 

[Kalliope]

Make sure your fridge and freezer are 100% empty before you leave, even if that means throwing everything in the garbage before you leave.

 

[Grmnshplvr]

I wouldn't tell him I'm doing it. He likely wouldn't think it necessary or understand at all, why have one more thing to argue about before vacation?

OP, do you think the fact that you "gave in" on this issue would have any bearing on your husband's response were BIL to ask about staying more than the week? Would this make your husband more inclined to tell him to move on (i.e. my wife already is irritated because you stayed this week, not gonna push her further) or more willing to let him stay because you gave in before? Might want to think about the next step in this, were it to happen (and I sincerely hope it doesn't)

I think once he realizes the mark this is going to leave on our relationship I really am hoping he'll say I'm not going to push her and stand firm....part of me is kind of hoping the playstation 4 ends up broke while BIL inevitably plays it while we're gone and maybe THAT will convince my husband this isn't a good idea.