When do you stop worrying about your kids?

[Tiggeroo]

Does it get any easier as they get older. Maybe after they move out at least you aren't reminded daily of the things that can go wrong. I used to think that if I could get them thru high school in one piece I could relax a bit.
I have a dd in college and twin sons who are jr's in hs. And sometimes I really worry. Now I'm stressing this upcoming summer. DD has had the same serious bf for quite awhile and now that they're both home from college it seems they are going to be joined at the hip, there's one worry. Plus because of some circumstances her bf has only recently gotten his license and due to being away at school where he can't have a car he's driven very little. I know she will be getting in a car with him this summer. There's another worry.
Twin sons both surf, big worry. They also like to leave the house early in the morning and come home late, and hang with their friends surfing and swimming all summer. Sounds great til I think about what could go wrong. One son seems to be getting more serious with gf, aagh. I could go on and on. I know I just need to take a valium and relax.

 

[faithinkarma]

daughter 31, son 26

And I still worry...but admittedly, not as much. Once they move out, it gets easier. Or it did for me. You don't know when they are out late at night, so you just don't think of it.

That being said, when they come home to visit, and go out with friends, I still wait up. And when they leave for the long drive home, I still like them to call and announce their safe arrival.

But, although the occasions for worry are less frequent as they age, that old adage " a mother is only as happy as her unhappiest child" will probably always apply.

 

[Kirby]

I don't think that you ever stop worrying. My mother hasn't and both her daughters (one of them is me) are in their 40's. She worries more about my sister than me though. And she worries about her grandchildren too. Plus any other family member that she can think of. Plus all the animals too, especially those that are stuck out in the extreme heat or cold. She is also currently worrying about her tree in the back yard, the one that a squirrel is stripping of leaves to build a nest. Okay, maybe she worries a little too much and is not a good example.

But back to your question, I think that you always worry about your kids but you have to step back once they leave the nest, and let them make their own mistakes. Just be there to help pick up the pieces should they need you.

My oldest will get his license in July. To give up some control to let him in front of the wheel with his beginner's license was a big step for me. Maybe by the time my other child gets her license, I'll be brave enough to face my control issue and be able to get in a plane.

 

[Tiggeroo]

It was terrible when my dd got her license. And she was in a pretty bad accident her first year. She was fine but that was a terrible phone call to get. My sons will be getting their licenses in Nov. I know that most of their friends drive too fast. Some of them have got the tickets to prove it. Some of them have been in accidents. I keep thinking my odds are doubled because of having the twins. Argh.
My mother worried quite a bit when dd got her license. And she didn't like that we let her take the Parkway.

 

[sammi]

Funny because we were just talking about this very same subject the other day. Years ago when my 3 boys were little I wondered too if the worrying would stop and an older firend with adult children told me that the worrying NEVER stops and the troubles are enhanced as they are adults now with bigger problems and boy as my sons grew I remembered these words and yep I still worry about my sons.....one of whom will make me a gramma (for the very first time!) in November........so I guess there will be little ones coming for me to worry about too!

 

[nativetxn]

My son is 29 and I still worry about him. He will marry in July and then I will have a DIL to worry about too I don't think you ever really stop worrying about your kids, no matter how old they get

 

[LUVDSNY04]

NEVER! My children are 32,30, and 28 and are all over the country and I worry about them so much. My oldest son was married in April so now I have another child ( a daughter-in-law),to worry about!

 

[The Mystery Machine]

I might be a little concerned at times but I don't worry like that. I don't think I will ever stop wondering what they are up to however.

 

[Tigger&Tink]

Adding my 2 pennies here---- NEVER... LOL..mine is 22,,,and I still worry,,but just because I want him to be happy and have a nice life,,, I THINK we all want that for our kids!!!!!

Tink

 

[candykisses]

I don't think you stop worrying until you're dead...and I bet you don't stop then.

 

[N.Bailey]

Oh Tiggeroo, I can definitely sympathize with you. While my children are considerably younger than yours, I don't know how to let my guard down and stop worrying so much. Both of my kids know that if the sirens go off, they must both hurry home and check in cause I just can't stand it. They are 12 & 13 and are only allowed within our block. If they are at the other end of the block where they can't hear me calling for them, I am in a panic! I know I am too over protective and I have to learn how to let go a little, but I don't know how to do it.

Parents call here all the time asking if their son/daughter is here, then they go on to say they left at noon and haven't seen them since and it's now 7 PM and they don't know where they could be. While I do envy these people (in a way), I don't know how they can live like that. I must know where mine are 24/7 or I'm freaking out.

 

[Trish5768]

I don't think you ever stop worrying. I hear at least 4 or 5 times a week "Mom, I'm 17 - cut the cord"

 

[Mad4Mickey]

We get to stop worrying ????

for you ,my DD graduated HS last week . My Dh changed her curfew to 2:00 am I didnt go to sleep last night till 2:00 when she came rolling in .

"Mom why are you up so late?" Gee I wonder LOL

 

[two4ruff]

I'm 38 and my mommy still worries about me!

 

[minniecarousel]

Mine are 24 and almost 22 & I haven't stopped worrying about them yet. It changes when they move out, because it's not a constant reminder. Just this weekend, younger DS came home for an overnight - his former GF stayed here too - she was just coming home from Las Vegas with some of her GFs. I still feel so bad for her, since DS broke up with her. She's a sweet girl - probably just too clingy. I am glad that they are remaining friends. So their romantic lives worry me too (or in the case of older DS - the lack of a GF!)

Hang in there Mom! It "changes" - kinda "out of sight, outa mind"!

 

[Prince Eric1]

Never. Stop worrying and you stop being a parent.

 

[Kallison]

Considering my brother dropped dead of a heart attack at the age of 45 -- I don't think my Mom will every stop worrying and neither will I. Now I worry about his kids too, my parents can't take another catastrophe in our family.

 

[treesinger]

The easy answer is "never", because, well, it's mostly true. My girls are very young and I'm trying to teach myself to not worry about them when mommy or daddy aren't there. You know what? I don't really worry about them. I won't leave them anywhere I don't think is safe and worrying won't help any problem they might be having while we're at the movies or whatever. When they turn teenager, that might just get me worrying. But for now, I'm A O K.
Having a little bit of faith in a higher power helps calm my nerves a little too.

 

[Kteacher]

I guess I could wrap bubble wrap around mine (especially Ian!), that might keep me from worrying so much. I don't think you ever stop worrying. It's just part of being a parent.

 

[Kitty 34]

My 74 Mom still worries about us! I often tell her 'Mom, I'm 50....I can handle this or that'!!!