When do you stop paying for your child to go on vacation with you?

[Babypants24]

I think it depends on the financial situation of both parties. If the child has a job and the money to go, then they should be able to go. If not, then it's the parents decision to pay or not.
For me there is a sense of tradition with the weekend trips and vacations I take with my parents. Most of the vacations we take or things we do are things I grew up doing. I want my kids to experience them now.
When I can pay, I do. I'm a single Mom and it's difficult sometimes, but I don't bleed my parents dry on vacations. I know far enough in advance and can save. And as far as Disney vacations, it's nice getting plane tickets or money for birthdays or Christmas

 

[NMAmy]

DD is 22 and getting married next month. I've continued for her (and when he's available due to military responsibilities) and her fiancé to come on vacation with us when we go to WDW and I pay for them to come home to visit. DH and I do take a few other trips without them.

We'll continue this as long as we can afford to. And, hey, they leave for England in August so on our next visit, we can stay with them instead of DH's family.

 

[brockash]

I was over my SIL's this past weekend for her son's high school graduation party on Saturday and then again yesterday to chow down on some leftovers.

During the graduation party they had "island music" playing and this got us in the mood to book another cruise together for next summer. So while we were there yesterday she and my husband starting talking about which cruiseline, which month to go, which islands to see, etc. We've cruised with them twice already and wouldn't mind doing another one with them.

Anyhow, my BIL makes a comment similar to, "at least it'll be cheaper next year since "Bobby" (thier son) will be paying for himself this time" I was like I guess they feel that since he's out of school and will be working now (granted it's just at a grocery store and he's probably going to be enrolling in the community college this fall) that he can pay his own way from now on. He's only 17 now but at the time of the cruise he'll be 18. This just took me by surprise. I mean I know the whole "you're 18, you're an adult now stuff" but this just seems odd.

I know everyone is different but I feel if you're child still lives with you, you would pay for them to vacation with you, no? And I'm not talking about the 30 something year olds that still live at home either. LOL And I'm not talking about the full grown adult children that no longer live at home and have families of their own that you might pay for their vacation as a gift to them (we've had that done for us) But I'm talking about teenaged kids who still live with you. I could never imagine telling my kid that he would have to come up with $1000 or more (depending on what the cruise costs) or he couldn't come on vacation with us. I would definitely buy his way and tell him that if he wanted to bring his own spending money, that would be fine with me. But to come up with the whole cost of your cruise ticket?

I'm more on the opinion of yours and I'm pretty sure that we'll still be paying for our kids to go on vacation with us through college....and honestly if we can afford it, I'd love to pay for them and their possible families to go on vacations with us on occasion when the time comes.

It is funny how different some ppl. feel about the subject. My parents are divorced and even my own parents are pretty different on how they handle stuff like this. I also think that until someone is a parent of a child who is "technically" an adult, it is very hard for them to really say what they would do. I can remember as a teen, my step-mom making comments about my aunt who would pay for her "adult" children to go on vacation with us, but low and behold now that my half-brother is an adult, she doesn't seem to see anything wrong with it now lol.

I think it just depends on a lot of circumstances, but I think generally speaking, it's is often asking a lot for a young adult or even a young family to pay a good amount of money to go on vacation somewhere with their parents as often as their parents would like etc.

 

[Granny square]

I think it depends on the financial situation of both parties. If the child has a job and the money to go, then they should be able to go. If not, then it's the parents decision to pay or not.
For me there is a sense of tradition with the weekend trips and vacations I take with my parents. Most of the vacations we take or things we do are things I grew up doing. I want my kids to experience them now.
When I can pay, I do. I'm a single Mom and it's difficult sometimes, but I don't bleed my parents dry on vacations. I know far enough in advance and can save. And as far as Disney vacations, it's nice getting plane tickets or money for birthdays or Christmas

I think it depends on situations also. When dh and I started going it switched from my mom taking me, or us sharing to dh and I covering it. She is super easy to travel with and it worked for al of us. She was a single mom who raised three kids and gave up a lot for us. I love ding things for her.

When we traveled with his parents it was their treat because that was what they wanted. We will do the Same for ours.

 

[StephMK]

I can't imagine going on vacation yet without DD19. We still gladly pay for her - I'm just happy she still has the time and wants to be with us too! She likes to vacation as much as we do and has made us promise to include her when we plan our next Disney trip!

I know once she's out of school and in a career, she may not be available but for now, we plan around her schedule and include her in our plans and budget.

 

[MinnieLovesMickey12]

I will pay for my kids to go on vacation with me until they are out of college or until they move out of the house. If my kids are the type of kids who try to stay living with mom until they are 30 to save their own money for other things they will not be going on vacation with me. Once they are 22 and out of college or have moved out, they can pay their own way.

There may be a time I take them on vacation with us as a Christmas or birthday gift. I'm not sure.

I didn't go on many vacations when my DS28 was over 18 so it was never an issue.

 

[mom2rtk]

I sort of look at 18-21 as a time of great flux. Most aren't full adults, but they aren't kids any more either. If kids are on their way somewhere (in college, in a training program, working responsibly) then it's great to extend a helping hand and pay for their vacations. But if they're just hanging out in the basement, not working full-time or in school..... then I think it just enables them if you pay for too much. You need to develop a desire in them to be moving out into the world to make their way. If they're headed that way then great. If they aren't, then I'm not making them more comfortable by paying.

 

[wishesuponastar]

I was over my SIL's this past weekend for her son's high school graduation party on Saturday and then again yesterday to chow down on some leftovers.

During the graduation party they had "island music" playing and this got us in the mood to book another cruise together for next summer. So while we were there yesterday she and my husband starting talking about which cruiseline, which month to go, which islands to see, etc. We've cruised with them twice already and wouldn't mind doing another one with them.

Anyhow, my BIL makes a comment similar to, "at least it'll be cheaper next year since "Bobby" (thier son) will be paying for himself this time" I was like I guess they feel that since he's out of school and will be working now (granted it's just at a grocery store and he's probably going to be enrolling in the community college this fall) that he can pay his own way from now on. He's only 17 now but at the time of the cruise he'll be 18. This just took me by surprise. I mean I know the whole "you're 18, you're an adult now stuff" but this just seems odd.

I know everyone is different but I feel if you're child still lives with you, you would pay for them to vacation with you, no? And I'm not talking about the 30 something year olds that still live at home either. LOL And I'm not talking about the full grown adult children that no longer live at home and have families of their own that you might pay for their vacation as a gift to them (we've had that done for us) But I'm talking about teenaged kids who still live with you. I could never imagine telling my kid that he would have to come up with $1000 or more (depending on what the cruise costs) or he couldn't come on vacation with us. I would definitely buy his way and tell him that if he wanted to bring his own spending money, that would be fine with me. But to come up with the whole cost of your cruise ticket?

I agree with you, if I have a child that's not working full time, I would pay their way for vacations. I have a DD25 who is living with her boyfriend and if they or she alone want to come with us on vacation they have to pay their way.

Edit to say, that I just read pp and I agree that if my child who is over 18 is not working at all and not going to college then I would want to see them get a job before I pay for their vacation with me.

 

[Hollymom1229]

My parents paid for my vacations until I was 22 and had graduated college and gotten a job. I appreciated it, as I knew that sometimes those trips were a stretch for them and it would have been way less to make me take care of myself. Of course, I'm now 35, married for 10 years and doing pretty well for myself. My parents haven't had to pay for lodging at WDW in 5 trips as they always stay on mine and DH's DVC points. So I suppose it all balances out in the end.

 

[mmorano88]

I think at the end of the day, to experience even one vacation with family, you are truly lucky. paid, unpaid, dutch. I cherish those family vacations so much. I only hope to have the same experiences when I have children. Of course, the first vacation will be Disney! <3

 

[Poohforyou]

Exactly and that is what I meant by "spending money for vacations". They paid for their own souveniers, arcade, face painting or tatoos, that sort of thing...this started once they had the opportunity to make $$ prior to a trip so around 13 or 14 years old. Before that I would treat them to the occasional "extra" while on vacation but I was never the parent who bought alot of useless souveniers and trashy toys while on vacation.

We kind of do the same thing. I'll give DD13 some spending money on vacation but she needs to pony up some as well. It's amazing how discerning a kid can be when they're spending their own money. Suddenly the cute must have stuffed animal isn't such a must have.

As for paying for vacation I imagine we'll do that until DD has a real job after college. Although I expect DH and I will take trips without her as well once she's away to school.

 

[fae]

I'm 21 and my parents pay for me to vacation with them. I'm sure that they will continue to do that until I have children of my own. Even then, they may offer to pay for at least the children. If I vacation on my own or with friends, I pay for those costs, but if my parents want me to vacation with them and they have the means, why wouldn't they offer to pay?

 

[Wishing on a star]

I am just having a hard time seeing just how many 18-19 year olds would have the money.. and even if they do, would choose to spend probably their very last dollar to cruise with mommy and daddy...

Don't know whether to go
or

at the idea of parent of a son/daughter that age thinking that this kid would PAY that much money to go on Mom and Dad's 'Family' vacation.

Then again, per other recent threads, we have parents wanting to pay to bring 30ish year old grown son, even if that means sharing their cruise cabin.
And, we have loser taker parents expecting grandma/Auntie/whomever else, to pay the way for their grown mid-twenties adult child.

No sense or rhyme or reason to this kind of thing!

 

[Art 1]

I know quite a few parents who take their grown children and spouse along with their grandchildren on luxury vacations. If they have the money and want to what's the big deal.

 

[themilesfamily]

We only have one DD. I'm sure we'll pay for her to go on vacations with us for as long as she's willing to hang out with us. I hope she'll be my Disney buddy for a long time to come.

If/when she decides to marry/have kids, I could foresee giving vacations as gifts.

My parents were more the, "You're 18 and you're on your own" type. They didn't pay for anything once I turned 18. The irony -- our family now pays for THEM to go with us on vacation.

 

[thewishfire]

I'm 26, finishing college, and living in an apartment with my boyfriend. We both have jobs, but would never be able to afford any sort of vacation right now. My father paid for us to meet the family in Disneyland this past fall, and he will be paying for us to go to Disney World in January. All of the children (youngest is 18) in this part of the family that vacations together are always paid for, as are their significant others (as far as I'm aware.) Of course me and DBF will be paying for our own souvenirs, snacks, and what have you. We're also paying for fun surprises for the entire family we have planned. I live a couple thousand miles away from my family, so these vacations are a chance to be together, as well. My dad does also pay for me to fly home every year or so, but I won't expect him to do that once I'm more financially stable.

My father has DVC, so I expect we'll be taking lots of Disney vacations for quite a while. Am I happy to go along without paying as long as it's affordable for him to do so? Yes. Would I be offended if he asked me to pay for part of it, like airfare? No.

 

[avgeek81]

When I was senior in HS and my brother was a sophmore in college my mom took us to Fl and paid for the whole thing. We probably paid for our own soveiners but that was it. She had a time share she already paid for and had to use or lose and her and my dad were going thru a rough time so she took us and my aunt.

When I was a junior in college my parents went to FL and said I could go but had to pay my own way. I could afford to pay but i didn't have vacation time at my job and didn't think I could afford a trip and lose a weeks pay.

The year after i graduated college my parents went again. I went with them. I know I paid for my flight and they paid for the hotel, we were all in one room. I don't remember if I paid for my theme park tickets or if they did. One reason they paid for part of mine was my dad had cancer and was in remission and he ended up passing away about 7 months later. It was our last family vacation.

After my dad passed away, my mom and I vacation together often. We both pay our own travel expenses and split the hotel. We just went to Savannah. I drove but we split gas. She payed for the hotel and I payed for our sightseeing tour and it worked out about the same. She does pay for my meals a lot. But she does that at home when we go out too.

 

[wilma-bride]

I am just having a hard time seeing just how many 18-19 year olds would have the money.. and even if they do, would choose to spend probably their very last dollar to cruise with mommy and daddy...

Don't know whether to go
or

at the idea of parent of a son/daughter that age thinking that this kid would PAY that much money to go on Mom and Dad's 'Family' vacation.

Well, my DD did just that. As I said in my post, we had booked our vacation, she decided she wanted to come with us (I suspect she misses WDW, having not been for 4 years plus she really wants to see WWOHP). We told her we couldn't afford to cover all the costs and she offered to pay. She was prepared to pay it all but we came to a compromise as to what was fair. Now she hasn't used her "very last dollar" - the money she has used, she had saved up and I don't know whether she would have been prepared to pay had she not had savings - but that is a moot point. She IS choosing to come on a family vacation with Mum, Dad and little brother and she IS very much looking forward to it. And we are no way one of those families that has to do everything together, we just enjoy each other's company (and, after the 'terrible teen' years, I have to say that I began to wonder if there would ever be a time that we could all spend time together and not kill each other so I, for one, am very grateful for that). I am very much looking forward to it

 

[Green Tea]

I think I will always pay in full for vacations if I ask the kids to come. Mine are older....one out of college, a few still in college. When we plan trips its either just the 2 of us, or one for the whole family. If it is for everyone, we pay to fly everyone in from wherever they are, all lodging and meals. Also, if there is a truly significant other, we will pay for him/her as well.

I can't see that ever changing, really. I also see us continuing to fly everyone here for Christmas. If they can come, we will pay for them to get here.

 

[Colleen27]

I will pay as long as I'm able to and as long as I want my kids going on vacation with me.

This.

We still vacation with my mother sometimes. And for some trips she pays. For others we do. She's long divorced and doesn't like traveling alone. We have three kids and sometimes want an extra pair of adult hands/eyes, especially when DH can't get away to travel with us. We split the costs however seems to make the most sense for a specific trip.

I won't enable my kids if they're slackers, but I do value travel with extended family and will happily pay to make that happen even when my kids are adults.