When do you consider someone an alcoholic?

[Soldier's*Sweeties]

It is a hard question. A lot of people would say that when it starts to intervene with their everyday lives it's an issue, but there is such a thing as a "functioning" alcoholic. They can drink all night and show up to work everyday etc...

 

[ronandannette]

Good for your friend. I dont think she was what people think of a full blown fall down cant function alcoholic. But she was using wine/alcoholic to self medicate, which can be a hard cycle to break. No difference if she would have started taking "little mother helper pills" to relax her mental troubles.

I think that being a "functioning alcoholic" is ok as long as that person is ok with it.

We as humans use all kinds of things to self medicate during stressful times in our lives, food, religion, ***, alcohol, pills.

All due respect, you'd be unlikely to still think so if you actually lived with one. Many members of my family are "functioning" alcoholics, functioning in that they hold good jobs, aren't presently dying of cirrhosis and have never hurt themselves or anyone else driving drunk. They are clearly OK with it. But having a healthy, balanced relationship with them is nigh on impossible and the chaos they have wreaked on generations of our family has had many heartbreaking consequences.

 

[morgan98]

All due respect, you'd be unlikely to still think so if you actually lived with one. Many members of my family are "functioning" alcoholics, functioning in that they hold good jobs, aren't presently dying of cirrhosis and have never hurt themselves or anyone else driving drunk. They are clearly OK with it. But having a healthy, balanced relationship with them is nigh on impossible and the chaos they have wreaked on generations of our family has had many heartbreaking consequences.

No to mention, there are functioning alcoholics who drink on the job, drive while under the influence etc. It would be nice to think that these always drinking alcoholics are harming no one but themselves, but there are a good number of them who put others at risk every single day.

 

[bcbmommy]

I think what makes you an alcoholic is different for each alcoholic. I know some people who are functioning alcoholics but they're still alcoholics. I think reading your post the telling sign was that she was so focused on not drinking that she wanted it that much more. If things have been good for her since rehab, why chance it?

Exactly, and that's what she told this person. She may be able to control it, but why chance ruining her life for a drink. And she didn't drink at the weekend getaway. She just said that focusing on it made her think about it more than she normally would.

 

[bcbmommy]

If you get delirium tremens or the DT's when you stop.

We talked about this also. She never had any physical symptoms when she quit. Except losing a few pounds.

 

[ZephyrHawk]

When drinking interferes with your ability to function normally at your everyday tasks (work, chores, etc.) and/or interferes with your ability to maintain social and emotional connections with people close to you.

 

[Wishing on a star]

It doesn't matter if it was one year, two years, or 40 years.
It doesn't matter if one is 'drunken', with obvious affects in their lives.
A 'functioning' alcoholic is still an alcoholic.
And, it doesn't only apply to heavy, binge, drinking.
That would obviously be substance abuse, but not necessarily alcoholism.

IMHO, if one feels a dependency on alcohol, and imbibes, like, daily, to get thru the day.
If one does not have the control over the use of alcohol.
Then one has the condition that I would consider to be 'alcoholic'.

 

[Minnesota!]

I think when drinking becomes a need vs. a want...that is when you have a problem.

 

[PigletsPal2]

My first interview for a government job (in 1980!) was for Executive Assistant to the Director of the Alcohol Program (eventually becoming the Employee Assistance Program) for this Agency. I said I wanted the job but I didn't know how helpful I'd be because I didn't know any alcoholics. The Director and Assistant Director just smiled and said that with some training, I'd be perfect for the job.

Well, I don't know how perfect I was, but I certainly learned a lot about alcoholism, including the fact that more than a few of my extended family were bona fide alcoholics. They functioned, but they were alcoholics nonetheless. The definition of an alcoholic may have been revised, but the definition we used was that if one's daily life, either at work or at home, was detrimentally affected by one's drinking, one was an alcoholic. The generally accepted theory at that time was that 90% of any given population drinks, and of that 90%, 10% are alcoholics. I don't know how viable those statistics are today, but I suspect they're not too different.

Some of the videos I had to watch during my training were about how to plan and conduct interventions, and by the end of each video, I was just sobbing. Our office conducted several in the two years I worked there (lucky for me I wasn't qualified/credentialed to participate). Most were successful, but the failures were epic. To my knowledge, we had at least two deaths during hospital rehabs.

Makes me glad I was born without the alcohol-processing enzyme.

 

[aaarcher86]

No too mention, there are functioning alcoholics who drink on the job, drive while under the influence etc. It would be nice to think that these always drinking alcoholics are harming no one but themselves, but there are a good number of them who put others at risk every single day.

Yep. Lived with one. She was still a huge danger even though she was able to 'function' through life.

 

[Pea-n-Me]

My answers are contained in this relatively recent thread: http://www.disboards.com/threads/alcoholic.3391295/

Now I'm going to slowly walk away...

 

[MickeySP]

Having had multiple alcoholics in both sides of my family, I would say theminute it interferes with you life.

 

[focusondisney]

Good for your friend. I dont think she was what people think of a full blown fall down cant function alcoholic. But she was using wine/alcoholic to self medicate, which can be a hard cycle to break. No difference if she would have started taking "little mother helper pills" to relax her mental troubles.

I think that being a "functioning alcoholic" is ok as long as that person is ok with it.

We as humans use all kinds of things to self medicate during stressful times in our lives, food, religion, ***, alcohol, pills.

All due respect, you'd be unlikely to still think so if you actually lived with one. Many members of my family are "functioning" alcoholics, functioning in that they hold good jobs, aren't presently dying of cirrhosis and have never hurt themselves or anyone else driving drunk. They are clearly OK with it. But having a healthy, balanced relationship with them is nigh on impossible and the chaos they have wreaked on generations of our family has had many heartbreaking consequences.

Agree with you Ronandannette. Ex son in law was a functioning alcoholic. Started with occasional binge drinking in college but his drinking really ramped up after graduation. DD recognized the problem as the wedding approached but believed him that he could control it. Nope. Less than 2 years after their wedding, he was passed out drunk 4 -5 nights a week. Still got up for work, but he & DD had no social life or interests in common. (He would drink at home alone.) He was also a "sloppy" drunk - loud, vomiting, knocking things over, etc. He saw no need to seek help until DD said she wanted out. Then he went to 1 AA meeting 3 months later, when she saw a lawyer. He still thought he was fine & could control it.

The drama continued during their divorce with him calling, texting, emailing whenever he was really drunk & apologizing after. I am happy DD was smart enough & strong enough to get out before there were kids & more years of her life wasted. It is almost 4 years since she left him & she is happy & in a healthy relationship. He last contacted her about a year ago--- he was drunk. Just sad.

 

[Kathryn Merteuil]

I saw it mentioned before, but I will agree. I think it is when it starts interfering with your life. I love my wine as much as anybody that's for sure. Maybe I do indulge a bit too often. However, it has never caused me any problems with my social or professional life. I can also go without if I have to. I also know when to stop, so I figure it is not a problem. I really think that a lot of times people are too quick to label somebody one way or the other. I am worse about sodas than anything else, I will drink a whole 2 liter bottle in a day. If I make tea I will drink the whole pitcher over the course of the day. If it is liquid, I consume it.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

We talked about this also. She never had any physical symptoms when she quit. Except losing a few pounds.

Well for me, there is a difference between alcohol dependency to function in life and a true alcoholic in my book.

I consider someone who is an true alcoholic to be physically dependent on alcohol. In other words they have to have it running through their system otherwise they start withdrawal symptoms with the DT's.

That being said using alcohol to cope is not something that is a good thing and needs to be dealt with as well.

 

[sharona]

Alcoholism is not just about physical dependency.

 

[willowsnn3]

All due respect, you'd be unlikely to still think so if you actually lived with one. Many members of my family are "functioning" alcoholics, functioning in that they hold good jobs, aren't presently dying of cirrhosis and have never hurt themselves or anyone else driving drunk. They are clearly OK with it. But having a healthy, balanced relationship with them is nigh on impossible and the chaos they have wreaked on generations of our family has had many heartbreaking consequences.

I agree. My mother was a 'functioning' alcoholic for many years after marrying my step-father who was a sloppy, fall down, and sometimes violent drunk. My brother was also an alcoholic who couldn't get along with my step father so that made for some very emotional times in my family. Thankfully neither of my sisters nor I drink at all.

God does have a sense of humor tho. I work for a DUI School as does one of my sisters.

 

[cjbcam]

How do you tell someone they need help?

 

[lauradis]

All due respect, you'd be unlikely to still think so if you actually lived with one. Many members of my family are "functioning" alcoholics, functioning in that they hold good jobs, aren't presently dying of cirrhosis and have never hurt themselves or anyone else driving drunk. They are clearly OK with it. But having a healthy, balanced relationship with them is nigh on impossible and the chaos they have wreaked on generations of our family has had many heartbreaking consequences.

Agree with you Ronandannette. Ex son in law was a functioning alcoholic. Started with occasional binge drinking in college but his drinking really ramped up after graduation. DD recognized the problem as the wedding approached but believed him that he could control it. Nope. Less than 2 years after their wedding, he was passed out drunk 4 -5 nights a week. Still got up for work, but he & DD had no social life or interests in common. (He would drink at home alone.) He was also a "sloppy" drunk - loud, vomiting, knocking things over, etc. He saw no need to seek help until DD said she wanted out. Then he went to 1 AA meeting 3 months later, when she saw a lawyer. He still thought he was fine & could control it.

The drama continued during their divorce with him calling, texting, emailing whenever he was really drunk & apologizing after. I am happy DD was smart enough & strong enough to get out before there were kids & more years of her life wasted. It is almost 4 years since she left him & she is happy & in a healthy relationship. He last contacted her about a year ago--- he was drunk. Just sad.

Im sorry, I think my def. of "functioning Alcoholic" is way different then yours... I grow up with a mother that still thinks enjoying on sip of alcohol, makes you a alcoholic...

After some google searching and read I have a better understanding what a "functional Alcoholic" is and would not be fine with it..

So again, Im sorry and thank you for the correction.

 

[lucky978]

Your friend should simply be proud of her accomplishment and not worry about what others think. If she had enough concern that she sought professional help, and it worked, then should should leave it at that. No need to label it.

How do you tell someone they need help?

I guess it depends on the person, situation and how it relates to you.